Everything You Wanted to Know About Revenge But Never Thought You’d Hear in Church
(Romans 12:14, 17-21)
1. Today’s sermon has little to do with the subject of forgiveness.
2. The Bible is clear that forgiveness is crucial to the Christian life; it is the hallmark of our faith.
3. Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising honesty on television, Marghanita
Laski, one of the best-known atheists and novelists, said, "What I envy most about you Christians
is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me."
4. As I understand the Scriptures, we forgive others as God forgives us. God forgives us when we repent, and He always stands ready to do so. But His forgiveness is conditioned upon our repentance. Although His love is unconditional, His forgiveness is conditional. Otherwise everyone would be saved. Now it would not offend me if such were the case, but God’s Word is clear: salvation & forgiveness are conditioned upon repentance and faith.
5. But what do you do when someone wrongs you and brings all sorts of misery to you and those you love? What if they do not repent? What if they do not really care whether you forgive them or not? What if their consciences are seared?
6. You spouse has left you for another; you discovered your brother molested your children; someone has stole your identity and now everyone is trying to make you pay their bills; you have lost a parent to a car accident involving a drunk driver; you boss lied about your work production so that you were the one laid off while his loafing buddy is working steadily…
7. Sometimes, by the grace of God, we can let matters go. But this may take years, or we may never get there. We have feelings of revenge. We want justice to be done.
8. Is this a wrong desire? It can be, but it isn’t necessarily so.
Main idea: The desire for revenge and justice is part of being in God’s image. But, because sin corrupts us, and because our lives are intended to center around God, we must defer revenge (and sometimes justice) to Him.
I. Paying Back Evil for Evil Does Not FURTHER God’s Kingdom (14, 17)
1. The difference between persecution and defense: persecution means suffering for our faith (and is typically legal or encouraged by the anti-Christian authorities), defending ourselves is a God-given INSTINCT.
2. We should not do EVIL to counter the wrongs done to us
3. Does this mean we should never speak up?
NIV Acts 23:2-3
At this the high priest Ananias ordered those standing near Paul to strike him on the mouth. Then Paul said to him, "God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! You sit there to judge me according to the law, yet you yourself violate the law by commanding that I be struck!"
The desire for revenge and justice is part of being in God’s image. But, because sin corrupts us, and because our lives are intended to center around God, we must defer revenge (and sometimes justice) to Him.
II. We Should Be Willing to Make A SERIOUS Effort to Be At Peace With Others (18)
1. The Bible places a high PREMIUM on peacemaking
• Your instincts may tell you to trash the relationship, to stop trying…
• But conviction tells you: Make more than a token try; make a sincere effort…
• When people come to me for marriage counseling and their marriage is on the verge of collapse, I try to determine if they really want to make a sincere effort to save it, or if one or both parties is simply making a token effort so they can say, “we even tried counseling,” when, in reality, they wanted it to fail…
2. It may not always be possible, but Paul commands us to do OUR PART; it does not always take two to have a conflict.
• I Peter 3:1-2, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”
• The early church greatly reduced infanticide, slavery, polygamy, and homosexuality not through warfare or riots, but by creating a Christian Conscience in the society…
3. But back on a personal level, contrary to popular opinion, the way to have peaceful relationships is not just to quietly absorb everything:
Leviticus 19:17
’You shall not hate your fellow countryman in your heart; you may surely reprove your neighbor, but shall not incur sin because of him.
• The best way to avoid hating people is to confront them… does not always work, but it does work more times than not…
The desire for revenge and justice is part of being in God’s image. But, because sin corrupts us, and because our lives are intended to center around God, we must defer revenge (and sometimes justice) to Him.
III. The Desire for Revenge is NOT Wrong, But Taking Our Own Revenge Is (19-20)
A soldier fighting over in Iraq received a letter from his girl friend that said she was breaking up with him. She also asked him to send the picture she had given him when he left because she needed it for her bridal announcement. The soldier was heart broken and told his friends of his terrible situation. So his whole platoon got together and brought all their pictures of their girlfriends, and put them in a box and gave them to him. So he put her picture in the box with the rest along with a note that said, “I’m sending back your picture to you please remove it and send back the rest. For the life of me I can’t remember which one you are.”
1. It is not wrong to prosecute according to the law (Rom. 13:3-4) because, ideally, government is to execute justice on BEHALF of God
• Remember this principle: NIV Proverbs 17:15
"Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent-- the LORD detests them both."
• Letting dangerous people go free can be a violation of Phil. 2:4 "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
•
2. But government is not ALWAYS just, wrongs done are not always illegal, nor can they always be proven.
3. Even the sinless people in heaven WANT revenge (Rev. 6:9-11)
NIV Revelation 6:9-10
When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?"
4. There is a difference between wanting God to take revenge because someone has gotten away with something terribly WRONG and NOT GETTING our own way. One is connected to justice, the other to being a control freak.
5. Much of what happened at Calvary was because of God’s sense of JUSTICE
6. The more you believe God will even the score, the easier it is to release the situation….
The less you believe that, the more you will stew, the more bitter you will become, and the more it will haunt you
Louis Mayer wrote about this incident from his childhood in New Brunswick, Canada.
He had gotten into a fight at school when he was quite a small boy, and he was feeling bitter, filled with resentment and a desire for revenge.
His body hurt, but his mind hurt more.
The next day they were out in the country on a family picnic, and she called Louis aside: "Louis, come here a moment. I want to show you something."
She took him to a little clearing that faced a rugged, towering mountain on all sides.
"Now, Louis," she told him, "say what I heard you say yesterday."
Louis began to feel embarrassed and he protested: "But I don’t remember saying anything wrong."
His mother persisted: "I do," she replied. "You said ‘I curse you!’"
He couldn’t keep anything from his mother, and they both knew it.
"Yes, I remember now," he said.
She touched his arm gently.
"Say it now," she commanded.
Louis repeated it as quietly as he could.
His mother smiled patiently. "Louder, son, say it louder. Whatever you say,
you must be willing to say it as loud as you can, to shout it for all to hear."
He didn’t want to do it, but it never occurred to him to disobey his mother.
So he faced the mountains and he shouted at the top of his lungs:
" I curse you!"
Right back it came, like thunder. Like a voice from heaven it denounced him.
Now, said his mother. Try it another way. Say, "Bless you!" instead.
Louis took a long breath and yelled, "Bless you!"
Back it came at him, strong and clear and welcome: "Bless you!"
"Which do you prefer, son?" his mother asked.
"It’s entirely up to you.
Whatever you say to others and to the world returns to you.
Your life creates an echo.
You can choose to bless,
or you can choose to curse.
Every day, every hour, You have that choice, Louis."
The desire for revenge and justice is part of being in God’s image. But, because sin corrupts us, and because our lives are intended to center around God, we must defer revenge (and sometimes justice) to Him.
IV. God’s Way to Overcome Evil is Not with EVIL, But with Good (21)
1. A DIRECT attack is often an ineffective attack
2. God is not only concerned that we try to correct wrongs, he is also concerned with HOW we do so….
• To Love our enemy is the love of duty, not emotion: NIV Exodus 23:4-5
"If you come across your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with it.
(1) This is where faith comes in--that every act will be brought into judgment! A source of comfort...
(2) This takes time, it may take wrestling with God (like Jacob), and you may get a joint out of place...
(3) This should results in gradually letting things go....otherwise, you will build a long-term grudge of hatred....
(4) Dobson’s ministry to pastors through HB London---2 years to recover from painful church traumas....
(5) sometimes things take time: Jacob and Esau--Gen. 32:4-6, 33:1-5
(6) Don’t go too hard on yourself if you have a hard time getting over a hurt--let yourself have some room...
The desire for revenge and justice is part of being in God’s image. But, because sin corrupts us, and because our lives are intended to center around God, we must defer revenge (and sometimes justice) to Him.
CONCLUSION
1. Life has never been easy.
2. It’s hard to be a Christian who still has a sin nature and lives in a sinful world.
3. It’s hard to have parents who are sinners, children who are sinners, and spouses who are sinners. But there we are.
4. But we have more than a sinful nature. We have a great God. And He can help us deal with those awful feelings that seem to burn within us. But we must trust Him, and we must realize hat we need him!
