MARRIAGE SECRETS FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN.
Gen. 1:26-28; 2:18-25
Int. There is a question being raised in our day concerning the fundamental nature of marriage. Is it strictly a civil institution to be affirmed and acknowledged by a secular set of standards, or is it a spiritual covenant that has divine authority in back of it?
There are those who argue that marriage is simply a civil institution that has been developed by our forebears and that the time has come for the traditional understanding of marriage to be redefined. Those who support this view seemingly have been influenced by an interpretation of life that measures the value of life as that which is limited to the time between the cradle and the grave.
These people believe that man is totally responsible to himself and to no one else nor is he accountable to any power beyond himself. This attitude, which has been called secular humanism, is one that has continued to gain more widespread support over the past three or four decades. Advocates of this type of thinking want a world without accountability, crime without punishment, sex without babies, perversion without AIDS, children without parental responsibility, money without work, laziness without poverty, and advancements in school without learning. More than we would like to admit, this philosophy of life has made some inroads into the modern church. Instead of molding, shaping and influencing society, secular society has been molding, shaping and influencing the religious bodies of our day. What spiritual power the church once had has been largely rendered ineffective, and in its place; compromise and permissiveness have become more desirable to a material taste.
The results of this tidal wave of humanism are extensive. It is out of this type of mental manipulation, that the core values of man’s well being are being seriously challenged, one of which is marriage. The ease with which a divorce can be gotten has opened the door to unbelievable problems. It is rare in our day to find a family, which has not been subjected to the heartache of seeing a marriage die. It is not unusual to find a child in our day that has two or three mothers by his father and two or three fathers by his mother. Divorce is never the solution to a problem, in fact, most of the time it is simply an act that opens the way for numerous problems to follow. Those who suffer most are the children who are being shaped in the most formative stage.
The Marriage relationship, as a spiritual covenant, ordained by God, is so fundamental to every society that to corrupt that relationship is to do fundamental damage to that society. Even the Supreme Court of the United States recognized this some years ago. They ruled that: “States must anchor their marriage laws in the basis of the idea of the family, as consisting in and springing from the union for life of one man and one woman in the holy estate of matrimony. (Such a marriage) is the sure foundation of all that is stable and noble in our civilization, (marriage is) the best guaranty of that reverent morality which is the source of all beneficent progress in social and political improvement.” (Murphy vs Ramsay)
The keys to a successful marriage can be properly understood and genuinely appreciated when a person perceives the essential place that God is to hold in the marital relationship. We can learn this in the Garden of Eden!
I. IN THE GARDEN, WE FIND THAT GOD CONCEIVED THE PLAN FOR MARRIAGE.
John R. W. Stott “God has created us social beings. Since He is love, and has made us in His own likeness, He has given us the capacity to love and to be loved. In particular, when God had created a man, He saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. All of the other living creatures were paraded before the man but for the man “no suitable helper was found.” God said, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” This “helper” or companion, whom God had so described, would complement man and be his counterpart, his companion. She would be so designed as to become man’s sexual partner, with whom he would become “one flesh.” Within this relationship, the bond of love would flourish and the potential would be there for the procreation of children. In order to accomplish this, a special creation was necessary.
In Genesis, chapter one, the order of creation is presented. Beginning on day one and continuing through day six, there are seven distinct commands given by God.
v. 3 And God said, “Let there be light,”…
v. 6 And God said, “Let there be an expanse between the waters to
separate water from water.”
v. 9 And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one
place, and let dry ground appear.”
v. 11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation:”
v. 14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky,”
v. 20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures,”
v. 24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to
their kinds:”
The creation of man was more distinctive and a more immediate act of Divine wisdom and power than that of the other creatures. After the seven commands, a word of consultation is spoken. “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.”
In the first seven statements, God spoke as One having authority, but in this statement, He speaks as One having affection. In this statement, God is seen in a more personal way. It is as if He is saying this is a work that we must take into our own hands. All that had been done earlier was to prepare for this magnificent act. When God said “let us make man in our image,” He was saying that man would be a different creature from all that He had just made.
In man, there would be flesh and spirit. In man, heaven and earth would be put together and he would be joined to both the physical world and the spiritual world. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all came together as one in man’s creation, just as they do when a sinner is recreated through faith, repentance and Christian baptism.
When God created man in His own image, He shared His own nature, His Divine authority and His essential purity. The reason for this was that man would be an intelligent, immortal spirit who would live in fellowship with his Creator. (Gen. 5:1-2) “When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them “man.” Man was made male and female! For all the other creatures, God had made a female counterpart, but in the original creation of man, He did not make one, instead, male and female were made as one.
From the dust of the earth, God had fashioned His best and most noble creature, and had placed him as the crown of all His creation. God saw that it was not good for this one whom He had made in His own image to be alone, so in His great wisdom, He chose to separate the female part from the male part of man. He did this as man was put into a deep sleep. The one who was made from that which was taken from man, who was the head of creation, was to be the crown that would sit upon man. When God created man, He refined him from the dust, but woman was doubly refined. Man was taken from the earth, but woman was taken from man. The woman was made neither out of nothing (like the universe), nor out of the “dust of the ground” (like the man), but out of the man himself. She was not taken from his head, that she may rule over him, nor was she taken from his foot, that he might rule over her, but rather, she was taken from his side that she may be equal to him, from under his arm, that she may be protected by him and from the part nearest to his heart that she may be his beloved partner for life.
Following this, we find the resulting institution of marriage. When a man and a woman are privileged to enter the marriage relationship, rather than it becoming the union of two previously separated individuals, it is the reunion of two hearts that are committed to a unique oneness, a oneness which reaffirms God’s masterful plan!
One reason why the sin of adultery is so bad is that it is a deliberate violation against marriage, it violates God’s law, it violates God! The Scripture says, “The marriage bed should be kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.
A Key to a successful marriage is to see marriage as the plan of the God Who made us and to Whom we are personally responsible.
II. IN THE GARDEN, WE FIND THAT GOD COMMANDED THE PRESERVATION OF MARRIAGE.
When the man was awakened, following God’s great operation, he saw a reflection of himself, a complement to himself, indeed a very part of himself. God brought the newly created woman to the man, as a young lady’s father may present his daughter to a prospective husband. Immediately, the man was filled with a joy unlike anything he had felt. He broke spontaneously into his first recorded words and also history’s first love poem: At last (in contrast to the birds and the beasts), “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken from man.” In the original language, the word ‘woman’ is actually the feminine word for man and could be translated ‘womb-man.’ The spirit of life that God had breathed into man was transmitted into both the male man and the female man.
Genesis two, verses 23 and 24 contain the very words of the marriage ceremony. In addition to the statement the male uttered when he saw his female partner, the following statement is recorded, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” The Scripture is not clear as to who first uttered these words, but quite obviously, they came from God. As much as one may love his or her parents, when a marriage occurs, an even greater love is set in motion, a love that is more intimate and more permanent.
Verse 24 makes it clear that the matrimonial relation is one that must be seen as having an unbreakable sacredness. When two people are joined in holy wedlock it is to be for as long as they live. In the Book of Malachi, chapter two, we find some of the strongest statements in the Old Testament concerning marriage, “the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant… “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering his wife with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. ”
The fact that God is a witness to the marriage-covenant between a man and his wife should encourage him to be faithful both to God and to the partner with whom he has entered the marriage covenant.
First, She is his wife; his own, bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, the nearest to him of all the relations he has in the world.
Second, "She is the wife of his youth, who had his affections when they were at the strongest,. She was his first choice.
Third, "She is his companion; the one who is an equal sharer with him in his cares, his griefs, and his joys.’’ The wife is to be looked upon, not as a servant, but as a companion to the husband, as a friend, one in whose company he should take delight more than in any other’s.
Fourth, "She is the wife of his covenant, the one to whom he is so firmly bound that, while she continues faithful, he can not be loosed from her, for it was a covenant for life. There is an oath of God between them, is so binding, it is one with which a person must not trifle.
An anonymous writer says:
They say a wife and a husband, bit by bit,
Can rear between them, a mighty wall,
So thick, they cannot speak with ease through it,
Nor can they see across it, it stands so tall.
Its nearness upsets them and brings fear to their heart,
But each alone lacks the right word to say
Yet each wishes he had some magic thing to impart
To be able to find the power to move it away.
So dear, let‘s build a bridge of love between your life and mine,
With many strong and lovely ties to bind us,
Let’s build a bridge of tenderness, with God’s help, so fine
That there will never be room for walls to rise between us.
A second key to a successful marriage is to honor the command that God gave for the preservation of marriage!
III. IN THE GARDEN, WE FIND THAT GOD CONFIRMED THE PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE.
“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Before the tempter got to the woman and tricked her into turning from God, neither she not the man had any sense of shame or embarrassment. From a spiritual point of view, they were clothed with a protective covering stronger than steel, and that was their consciousness of innocence. They had no awareness of evil as existing anywhere, so they were not ashamed. Because we are living in a sinful world, the nearest illustration of this that we could have would be to imagine a baby boy and a baby girl, only a few months old. They would have no sense of evil or of shame. Shame is a result of a sense of guilt!
In the marital relationship, there should never be allowed to rise a sense of guilt or a sense of shame between the partners who share in the divine covenant of marriage. God gave marriage to man that he may not be lonely or feel that he is unimportant or insignificant. When two people marry, each one should look upon the spouse with the conviction that he or she is the most important person in the entire world.
One of the principles in God’s purpose for marriage is that each spouse will have a growing sense of self-respect as well as a sense of personal dignity.
Since God has designed each of us with certain bodily and spiritual needs, He had made arrangements for some of these to be met in a marriage relationship. The apostle Paul writes: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Cor. 7:2-5)
The apostle Peter adds these words: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,… Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:1 & 7)
Finally, let us note another part of the purpose of marriage. We find it in God’s statement to Adam when He said, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” Later on, Malachi adds, “God made one woman for one man. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:15)
God made but one male and one female, that all the nations of men might know themselves to be made of one blood, descendents from one couple and as a result may love and respect each other. God provided Adam and Eve with the ability to pass on the nature they had received from God to those who would be born from their love for each other. In Genesis 2:7, when God breathed into the body He had created, in the English it says, He breathed the breath of life, but in the original the word life is lives. He breathed the breath of many lives into Adam!
God desired to see an offspring that should bear the image of God, an offspring that should be employed in the service of God, an offspring that would be devoted to God’s glory and honor, that they might propagate the nature of man in such a way as to be likely to participate in God’s own nature.
The raising up of a godly offspring is one of the great ends of the institution of marriage. It is for this reason the marriage bed should be kept undefiled and the marriage bond unbroken. Husbands and wives are to live in the fear of God, that their children may be godly, holy, as children of the covenant, the marriage-covenant. Marriage as God designed it, is the best place for children to be reared, the place that is most conducive to their self-image, their security and their stability.
A final key to a successful marriage is for both the husband and the wife to agree to function within their God-given roles, and if they are blessed with children, to rear them in the atmosphere of a Godly home!
Conclusion: Marriage between a man and a woman is essentially, intentionally and constitutionally a divinely ordained covenant, spiritual in origin, civil in its legality, and personal in its expression. Marriage as God designed it deserves our deepest respect, our genuine support and our thoughtful preservation. An early Bible scholar by the name of Adam Smith has written: “Wedded union is the sum and type of every social tie. It gives rise and scope to all the nameless joys of home. It is the native soil for the cultivation of all the social virtues. It provides for the due framing and checking of the overgrowth of interest in self, and for the gentle training of a growing interest in other people. It unfolds the graces and charms of mutual love and imparts to the susceptible heart all the peace and joy, all the light and fire, all the frankness and life of conscious and constant purity and goodwill. Friendship, brotherly kindness and love are still hopeful and sacred names among the people of this world.” God is much displeased with those who would put asunder what he has joined together.
P.S. Marriage is essentially a oneness according to the words of Jesus in Matthew 19. In this present sinful world, there are marriages in which people live together in name only and the oneness is missing. In order to correct this, one needs to seek a closer walk with God. Regardless of what may have occurred in the past, God accepts people where they are presently. Even though He hates divorce, divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God’s grace is greater than all our sin. “His compassions are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3: 22-23) All sin can be forgiven when a person sincerely desires to be forgiven!
