Making Your Marriage Work
By Pastor Fernando Cabrera
1. Be Passionate (7:3-5)
a. Delight in your spouse
i. “fulfill” – a debt owed to someone, usually something profitable or an advantage
1. You owe whatever and whenever something belongs to somebody else. Since you belong to your spouse, you owe your spouse what it is his/her
a. Sexually speaking, both husband and wife should have enough sex so that neither is feeling frustrated or cheated
2. the emphasis is NOT “you owe me”, but “I owe you”
b. Please to be Pleased
i. TEST #1: Do you take more delight in your spouse than anybody else
2. Be Prayerful (7:5)
a. Cover you marriage in prayer, but…
b. Don’t let prayer interfere with your marital duties in marriage
i. TEST #2: Are you doing more panicking than praying in your marriage
3. Be Positive (7:5b)
a. Why?
i. Because your spouse is a gift from God!
1. Just like God brought Eve to Adam as a gift, so God brought your spouse to you as a gift
b. How?
i. Find your spouse feels loved (Gary Chapman- Five Languages of Love)
1. quality time
2. act of service
3. word of affirmation
4. physical touch
5. gift
ii. TEST #3: Do you see your spouse as a gift or a grief?
4. Be Present (7:10-14)
a. Dedicate to finish what you have started
i. Your spouse needs to know from you: “I am here to stay”
1. today, we have too many absentee spouses
b. What does God think about divorce?
i. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)
1. Why?
a. It is Painful
i. Higher rate of depression, anxiety….
1. only one in 10 felt happier after getting a divorce
ii. Higher financial loss
1. the average divorce cost around $20,000
iii. higher cases of health problems
c. When does God allow a divorce?
i. Adultery (Matthew 19:9)
1. oneness is broken (6:16)
ii. Abandoned (I Cor. 7:15)
1. Desertion makes it impossible to continue to cleave and weave into oneness
d. What if a Christian is married to an unbeliever, is he/she defiled?
i. You are not defiled by having an unbelieving spouse, but rather the presence of Jesus in you sanctifies the relationship
ii. He is not speaking of those who are doing missionary dating, but those who got saved after being married to an unbeliever.
1. God is saying not to give up on your unbelieving spouse, unless your unbelieving spouse abandons you
a. the believer is in the position of influence, and not vice versa
5. Be Peaceful (7:15)
a. Stop the fighting
i. It is worth it?
1. a good marriages makes
a. People happier
i. 40% “very happy” (married) versus 25% singles and cohabitating
ii. Married people have both more and better sex than single people
1. most sexually satisfied people are evangelical Christians
b. People healthier
i. 50% married woman and 250% married men more healthier than their single counterpart
ii. unmarried people are far more likely than married people to die from all causes of death
1. Why? Social support. 8 out 10 say their wives remind them to do something to protect their health
c. People wealthier
i. Married men make more than single men
1. the longer you are married, the more your wealth accumulates
b. Test #5: Are you part of the problem or the solution?
