Title: The Blessed Husband
Text: Eph 5:22-33
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Introduction:
- We are going to look at this evening the role of the Husband according to Eph 5:22-33
- But before we do that, let me give you some stories to help us along:
Panel of Women debated on what they thought was a perfect man, a guy who was ‘with it’. You would have thought they would have decided upon some actor or athlete even a wealthy tycoon. They decided that the perfect man was MR POTATO HEAD. 4 Reasons: ‘He’s tan, he’s cute, he knows the importance of accessorizing, and if he looks at another girl you can rearrange his face.
There were once two newlyweds on their honeymoon. They were taking a train ride cross country. The bride was becoming a little self conscious about all the fanfare of being a new married couple. She just wanted some quite time alone with her new husband, So she came up with a plan.
She said to her husband…Oh John! … in the next town let’s pretend we are an old married couple that has been together for a long time. Can we do this my love?
The husband scratched his head perplexed and confused, because he didn’t want to look like he wasn’t considerate of his new bride. So going along with her request with a smile as big as a sunrise he spoke out to his bride with a boyish grin.
OK honey… when we get off the train at the next stop “YOU CARRY the Suitcases.
A couple of kids were in their attic reading old letters their parents had written years ago. The boy said to the girl: "These aren’t the names they call each other now."...
- Tonight we are going to look at loving your wife as Christ Loved the church.
- Next time we meet we are going to look at wives submitting to your husbands
- The big question is what does loving your wife as Christ loved the church look like?
- Can I love my wife even if she is unresponsive?
- What does loving my wife look like?
(5 Points)
Point 1: I Cor 13 - The Love Chapter (vs 4-7)
- This is the foundation of loving your wife.
- Now this speaks to all of us, and all of us most love in this capacity but we are looking at the men in marriage relationships.
- These verses describe love as an activity and a behavior, not just as an inner feeling or motivation.
- Again every believer must grow in this kind of love.
One Sunday a minister was finishing up a series on marriage. At the end of the
service he was giving out small wooden crosses to each married couple. He said, "Place
this cross in the room in which you fight the most and you will be reminded of God’s
commands and you won’t argue as much."
One woman came up after the service and said, "You’d better give me five."...
- It takes time to develop and help from the Lord, but it is the foundation for us as men to start from and love our wives.
- It’s God’s way of doing things and it must be developed.
- How do we develop it? By committing to doing it everyday, with your spouse first and then with other people.
Point 2: A Love Not Condemning (John 8:3-11)
- Jesus was not condemning towards anyone.
- He was merciful and compassionate towards the human race.
- So we as husbands need to love our wives. Loving our wives in a way that is not condemning, but is gentle and kind.
- Jesus had every right to let the law judge this women.
- But rather then condemn her, He showed compassion and mercy.
- Sometimes in marriage we have every right to condemn our spouses.
- Because the spouse has been caught in whatever they did, which is usually the man.
- An example: Doing the garbage and I don’t do it.
- I have been caught, and Chrissy brings the judgement down. Which is don’t do it again or else.
- You see Jesus, forgave that women, but He said go and sin no more.
- When we love our wives as Christ loved the church, our love will not be condemning but rather forgiving.
- That not only goes for the man, but also for the women.
- When the man stands before God on Judgement day, God is going to hold us accountable as to how we loved in this area towards our wives.
- When we are not condemning we are forgiving.
- It does not mean that we don’t communicate the frustration our spouses are putting us through, Jesus heard the Pharicees talk about the woman.
- It does not mean that we are accountable for our actions, because the woman was, go and sin no more.
- What it does mean, when all of the talking and frustration is out, forgive and move on, don’t condemn.
- One of the top five needs of a man is affirmation. Wow did you do a good job!
Point 3: A Love Not Selfish (Phil 2:1-8)
- Jesus gave freely of everything.
- Jesus fed 5000 people.
- Jesus healed people.
- Jesus ministered to the needs of people, by teaching them.
- Jesus gave His life for us so that you and me could be saved.
- Jesus left the glory of Heaven to come to earth to serve, not be served.
- Husbands your wife is not your servant, slave or master.
- For some reason, we think they are. We don’t pick up after ourselves, nor do we clean or wash.
- We have it in our mentality that if we provide a paycheck and pay the bills that’s enough.
- It’s not enough, especially if we want to be like Jesus.
- We have to work on this everyday.
- I know sometimes we come home and we are tired, but there is still work to be done.
- Now wives you need to understand that some of the jobs the men are doing are physically demanded, like my job.
- So therefore we need special care and comfort.
- But honestly some men have very demanding jobs and need rest from time to time.
- But men let the attitude of Jesus be in you, serve and have the attitude of serving when ever you can.
- An example of Jesus serving is found in Matt 5-8 look what Jesus did:
a. Teaching the Beatitudes and large crowds following Him.
B. People are being healed and Jesus is still walking
c. Travels to Peter’s house and heals more.
D. At Night Jesus is casting out devils
e. He is also found teaching people.
F. Goes across on a boat and falls asleep and a storm can’t wake Him up.
- Jesus heart is to serve, as husbands we need to serve our wives and bring them food and drink from time to time.
Point 4: A Love Full Of Importance
- Wives love to no that there husbands are listening.
- Jesus listened to many people and by doing that made them feel important.
- An example is found in Matt 20:29-34.
- It’s the story of two blind men who receive there sight.
- They cry out to Jesus, and the crowd rebukes them.
- But Jesus knows the importance of making people feel important, stops and does what?
- Asks them what He wants them to do for them.
- If we as men, would only portray that attitude at times, hun what can I do for you?
- And your wife says shut off the hockey game and lets talk.
- And we say, I should have said nothing.
- But our wives can pick up on that negativity.
- Wives need to feel that they are number 1 in a crowd and at home.
- That they are appreciated and respected.
- The moment that is lost the relationship is on shake ground.
Listen to this story:
A few years back Pepper Rodgers was in the middle of a terrible season as football coach at UCLA. It even got so bad that it upset his home life. He recalls, My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that a man needs at least two friends and she bought me another dog....
Point 5: A Love Full Of Concern
- This is were you feel protected, guided, heard, committed too and accepted.
- Wives love to feel protected.
- To feel that security in the home that the man can give.
- Protected not just physically, but emotionally, and Spiritually.
- I believe most wives like when men take the lead in decisions for the home, and spiritually takes his role seriously.
- That needs to be a concern to us.
- There are many things wives enjoy from there husbands, that if they are a concern for us we will work on them.
- Like I said before, most wives want there husbands to take the lead, but the respect from the wives can be lost over a long period of time if we show no concern
- Let me give some examples of what not to do men:
1. Be careful to listen with Justification or Argument
- Most of us as husbands try to justify everything we do when we hurt our wives.
- We need to listen to our wife’s needs and look at it from her perspective.
- And it’s hard because we want to challenge the words she is using to express her feelings, without listening first to what she is trying to say.
- If we don’t try to listen without justifying every action, the couple will just argue more and more.
2. Quickness to admit error
- It’s hard for us as men to admit when we are wrong.
- We don’t like to admit failure, but think about it for a minute what it can do.
3. Patience When She Is Reluctant To Believe He’s Changed.
- What if you’ve been doing everything within your power to let your wife know she has first place in your life, and she still doesn’t believe you’ve changed?
- You are in big trouble, just joking
- Don’t throw up your hands in disgust, but gently persuade her over a period of time.
- Her initial respect for you wasn’t lost over night, and it can’t be regained in a day.
- Show your wife that no matter how long it takes, you want to earn her respect.
- I am finding in my own marriage that the more important I make my wife feel to me, the more she encourages me to enjoy life.
(Taken From Gary Smalley Book)
Conclusion:
- Let me close with this story:
The psychiatrist had prescribed that his wife be admitted to the local mental hospital. He was stunned and challenged, but had no idea how to help her. He sought counsel from the chaplain and learned he should allow his wife to sit in his lap and share her true feelings about him. He followed this advice with great difficulty because it hurt to hear the things she said he was doing to weaken their marriage. As she was talking, the telephone rang, and he felt saved by the bell. She was angry because she thought he would probably not return. But she overheard one statement he made that not only kept her from a breakdown but released some anger that had been built up for a while. After the call, she calmly snuggled back into his lap.
What had he said to his commanding officer? That will be next week, joking again
He simply said, Sir, could someone else take that assignment tonight? I’m in the middle of a very important time with my wife. It’s serious, and I really don’t want to leave at this point. That military officer had begun to prove to his wife that she was of high value to him. As a result, her mental condition stabilized, and she never had to go to the hospital.
- All because he showed concern.
Lets Pray!!!
