The High Price of Getting Even
Matthew 5:38-42
November 14, 2004
Morning Service
Introduction
When I was growing up my sister and I would fight a lot and I mean a lot. We just couldn’t seem to ever get along very well. I remember one day in particular when I was really being hard to get along with. I was teasing her relentlessly and I was drawing the look that I absolutely loved from my sister; the one that told me I was getting on her last nerve. I liked to push her to the envelope and then go just a little bit further.
This day was no exception and I pushed her buttons until I got the look that she had enough and then I pushed a little bit further. That day, I got an unexpected reaction from my sister; she hit me. I couldn’t believe it. I was just joking around with her but now she had gone too far and it was time to call in the heavy artillery; my mom. Surely my mother would not allow such an injustice to go unpunished. So I went to my mom and told her that Patty had hit me and my mother was in rare form as well. I will never forget her response: “Well just hit her back.”
At this point I had to pick my jaw up off the floor because I couldn’t believe it. Mom said to hit her back. This was my moment to get back at my older sister for all of those things that she had done to me. If I had stopped to think this over I would have realized that my mother was not serious about me hitting my sister back. This is one of those moments in life that was just too good to pass up.
I walked back into the room where my sister was and I let her have it. I pulled back and her so hard in the arm that it knocked her over. She grabbed her arm and looked back at me in shock. I had done it and I had gotten her back for the massive injustice done to me. It was just when I was feeling really proud of myself for getting the free shot on my sister that I noticed she was starting to cry.
When my mother got into the room and saw what I had done I was punished. The excuse that she had said I could do it did not hold water. I went to my room for a while and I had to apologize to my sister.
Have you ever felt like getting even with someone? Have you ever just wanted to settle the score with someone who deserved it?
If we are honest with ourselves we have all felt this way at one time or another.
You know the feeling because it comes when…
· A co-worker steals your best ideas and takes the credit for them
· Your spouse gives you the frozen beef treatment – cold shoulder
· A crazy driver cuts you off on the way to work and then has the nerve to slow down.
· The critic who sees everything you do painted with negative brushstrokes
· The boss who calls you to the carpet for no good reason
· The gossip who can’t wait to share the juicy tidbit about you
The sad fact is that we live in a “get even” world and often adopt a “get even” mind set. We sometimes do more than just want to get back at those who wrong us, we actually do it and we “punch” them. We would never actually hit someone but we do things that hurt just as bad as a punch to the gut.
· We tear others down with the words that we use
· We lash out with false accusations about things that others have supposedly done
· We look at people to find nothing but the worst in them and then share it with others
· We search for little ways to get under their skin just to be an annoyance
If you have ever crossed that line from wanting to get even to “getting even”; you’ve seen the reality. Getting even never brings any true satisfaction.
Getting even is the world’s way of doing things, so what is the Jesus wants us to do things? Open your bibles to Matthew 5:38-42.
38 "You have heard that it was said, `Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
I. Go beyond Retaliation (38-39)
Jesus opens this teaching by quoting what would have been familiar territory for all of the disciples. There is an Old Testament law that gave people the right to take justice into their own hands; the Law of Retribution. It was a law that paid a person back for the wrongs that they had committed. This was a legal retaliation that took the form of either of physical or financial retaliation.
19 If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: 20 fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured. Leviticus 24:19-20
In fact, this was used to repay injustice even in the days of Jesus. It had become a way of settling the score and was used to exact revenge in ways that God never intended. The Law had become a way of extracting payment from others. The attitude that was present in the times of Jesus was this: you hurt me and now you’re going to pay. Does this sound familiar to you?
There was a farmer who had been pestered by a carload of people who delighted in climbing an orchard fence and eating his apples without asking permission.
One day, as he walked up to them, one of them smiled sheepishly and said, "We hope you don’t mind that we took a few of your apples."
"No, not at all," said the farmer, "and I hope you don’t mind that I took some of the air out of your tires."
The Law of retaliation screams get even but Jesus says something totally opposite of the common practice. Jesus says do not resist an evil person. At this point it is vital to see what Jesus is not saying here. Jesus is not saying that we should not take a stand against evil. Jesus is not saying that we should not act to defend ourselves. Jesus is not saying that we should remain in abusive situations. The first item that Jesus speaks about is a legal matter and it would seem that Jesus is speaking about legal retribution in dishonest ways. Just because you have the right doesn’t make it the right thing to do.
Jesus says that when others hurt you, whether it is through an actual strike on the face or striking you down with words or some other action, turn away from our human nature and the instinct that screams to get even. Change the direction that would seek retaliation and stop living with revenge in your heart. The only way to truly defeat the cruelty of this world is by doing good.
II. Go beyond the Requirements (40-41)
The theme of legal obligations continues with Jesus with an illustration of a court case. Jesus expands the understanding of injustice by including unjust lawsuits. The concept here of sue is not that a legal preceding is pending but rather that one is over and the sentence has been passed.
The tunic was a form of shirt that was worn as an inner garment and in the time of Jesus a person might have three to four tunics. The cloak was something completely different because it was a long outer garment that which would have been similar to a robe and would have served as a coat and a blanket at night. A person would most likely only have one cloak and this made the cloak highly valuable. The cloak was so valued that the courts could not seize it for payment.
Jesus is saying here that if someone wants the shirt off your back, give your best coat too. Jesus is saying that you are called to be willing to give more than is required to settle problems. It is more important to a disciple to lose their cloak and maintain their relationships.
There is an ancient custom that would have been part of the daily life for Jesus. Roman officials or soldiers could press any person into service at any given time. Often Roman soldiers would force citizens of occupied countries into service at their personal whim. This practice would force a person to carry the pack of the soldier or official for no more than one mile.
This was one of the most despised practices of the day because it was seen as adding insult to injury. It was bad enough that the Romans were occupying the land but then to force a person to carry the pack, weapons and gear of the occupying soldiers created more hatred. Jesus says here to do more than you are forced to do and do it with a willing spirit.
III. Go beyond the Requests (42)
Jesus speaks about money as a sign that we are meant to live generously. As Christians we are meant to help people along the way in life and entrust or to grant the requests of those who come. Our desire should be to help those who are less fortunate than we are because it gives us the opportunity to share the love and grace of Jesus.
Lessons for Living
1. Live to be a blessing instead of being bitter
Motion is one of those areas of science that I always loved to study because you were able to see how and why things moved. One law of motion states that actions have an opposite reaction. This is the way Jesus wants you to live.
If a person hurts you Jesus wants you to react in the opposite way. Instead of getting even get ahead by blessing that person who wronged you. The simple truth is that you may not be able to choose how life treats you but you can choose how you will react. Life gives us just two choices we can either be bitter or we can be a blessing.
Make a habit of getting even with people -- not those you think wronged you, but those you know who helped you. -- Kay Levin
2. Getting even will always cost you something
When you make the choice to get even you are losing the opportunity to reveal the love of Christ in your life. Often this takes the form of doing just what is required and nothing of what is needed. There is no desire to go the extra mile.
What most people forget is that they lose out on the blessing of the extra mile. Extra efforts result in extra blessings and when we exit when our obligations are met we will never brake through to find that next level of blessing.
3. Realize your life is a tool for Christ’s love and grace
There are times when difficulties come and life gets tough. It is just a fact that we all have to live with. Christ can use your life as a tool to reveal His love and grace to other people. The question is will you be willing to open your heart to the reality?
Conclusion
People get even in many different ways
· You scream at your spouse to release the hurting
· You lash out at your co-workers because the wounds are deep
· You strike at the ones who have hurt you
The reality is that getting even will cost you more than you really want to pay. What exactly is the price for getting even? The cost is your relationship with others and a right relationship with Jesus.
So today, take the step to give up your right to retaliate and do what is right. This morning make the commitment to live a life that blesses those who curse you. Now is the time to become the instrument of Christ’s love.
