MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES: DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED IN MARRIAGE (GENESIS 26:34-35)
Compiled by: Herman Abrahams (Pastor), Cornerstone Faith Ministries, P.O. Box 740, Westridge 7802, Rep. of South Africa.
E-Mail: Mentorship2003@yahoo.co.uk
Note to the reader:
If you have been blessed with this sermon compilation, I would be honoured to receive an e-mail from you merely telling me where in the world you are based- I do not need any other information. This is just so that I can have the pleasure of giving thanks to Almighty God that all over the globe the ministry which he has entrusted to me, is blessing the body of Christ and helping to extend the Kingdom of God. Thank you.
Herman Abrahams, Cape Town, South Africa.
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Acknowledgement: The idea for this message came from a study of the sermon “How To Avoid Making A Mess Of Your Life” by Larry Sarver (sermoncentral.com). I’ve borrowed some of his statements for this sermon, from which I hope to develop a series of sermons based on Larry’s “Two ways to avoid making a mess out of our lives” (see below).
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MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES: DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED IN MARRIAGE (GENESIS 26:34-35)
Series: Successful Family
(Read Genesis 26:34-28:9)
A large part of my and my wife’s work as a pastoral couple is to provide biblical counseling to people and families that are experiencing turmoil. They may be experiencing difficulty in some or other area which may include:
· their marriage,
· family relationships,
· their ministry,
· their finances,
· their career, or
· even in their spiritual walk with God.
Sometimes the situations are such a catastrophe that one often wonders “how in the world did they get themselves into such a mess?” The sad part is that often these messes are the result of their own decisions and actions. Many times when life is a mess, it is our own creation!
We praise God that He can turn a mess into a masterpiece. We can therefore give people hope, for our God is the God of hope:
Romans 15:4 “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
However, wouldn’t it be much better to avoid the mess to begin with? So we are going to talk about making the right choices by following God’s way and not our own.
In this story from Genesis we see a family in disorder and unrest. Through their own actions they have created an incredible mess:
· we see a husband and wife plotting against each other,
· we see one brother, Esau, weeping bitterly about what he has lost,
· we see Esau hating his brother Jacob so much that he plots to murder him, and
· we see that Jacob has to flee for his life to a distant land where he will be separated from his family for a period of 20 years.
This is a situation in which nobody wins. It is vital that we learn how to avoid these types of messes (see Rom 15:4 above- “Everything that was written in the past, was written to teach us …”). Allow the Word of God to teach you today so that you will not make the same mistakes.
In a sense this family’s life is like the totally wrecked cars that the traffic police often place on the side of the road as a sign to warn people about what happens when we disobey the traffic laws. We learn from these warnings and these negative examples what not to do so that our lives don’t end up in a similar kind of a wreck.
In this story, I believe we can to learn 2 ways to avoid making a mess out of our lives.
1. Don’t make your choices or decisions based on a wrong value system.
2. Don’t resort to wrong means of gaining what is good.
1. DON’T MAKE YOUR CHOICES OR DECISIONS BASED ON A WRONG VALUE SYSTEM.
We all have to make choices in life. We have to make choices about,
· relationships,
· purchases,
· careers,
· ministries,
· education,
· entertainment, etc.
The values that guide these choices will in large part determine whether these choices result in a blessed life or a messed up life.
Making decisions based on wrong values is one way to quickly make a mess of your life.
What are wrong values?
There are many examples of wrong values but the list would certainly include:
· sensuality,
· materialism,
· selfishness, and
· godlessness.
In other words we should not make our decisions based on what is pleasing to our senses (sensuality).
Our choices should not be based on what will generate the most income or enable us to gain the most possessions.
We should not make our decisions on purely selfish motives, which means cosidering what we want but not what God wants.
Did Esau and Isaac make choices based on wrong values? The answer is clearly "yes."
A. ESAU’S UNGODLY CHOICE OF WIVES
i) He Marries Two Hittite Women
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Genesis 26:34-35 “When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. 35 They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah”.
Note:- ‘Gen 26:34-35. Esau’s marriages to two Hittite women (Judith and Basemath) were a grief to his parents. This note demonstrates how unfit Esau was for God’s blessing, and how foolish was Isaac’s later attempt to bless Esau (Gen 27:1-40). Esau later married a third wife, Mahalath (Gen 28:9).’ [(Walvoord, John F., and Zuck, Roy B., The Bible Knowledge Commentary, (Wheaton, Illinois: Scripture Press Publications, Inc.) 1983, 1985.]
To make choices that lead to a fulfilling life we must base our decisions on what is important and valued by God.
Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”
This is what Esau and Isaac did not do.
ii) Esau’s Wives Were "A Source Of Grief To Isaac And Rebecca."
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In Genesis 26:34-35 (above), we are told that Esau married Canaanite women which were "a source of grief to Isaac and Rebecca." Also in Genesis 27:46 we read,
‘Then Rebekah said to Isaac, “I’m weary of my life because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these, my life will not be worth living.”’
Esau’s choice of wives from among neighboring Hittite women saddened his parents. His action had deliberately ignored the standard set by Abraham for Isaac (24:3). Esau had married these heathen, godless women and brought sorrow into the family home and Rebekah could not cope with the situation. She now has the fear that if Jacob stays there he will probably do the same thing.
PURITY IN MARRIAGE
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Remember, one of the things God values is purity in marriage. In Old Testament times this meant not marrying any Canaanites because they were a pagan people. That’s why Abraham sent his servant to his family’s homeland to get a bride for Isaac (Gen 24:3-4). He did this because he made his decisions based on right values.
ESAU WANTED HIS WAY INSTEAD OF GOD’S WAY
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Certainly Esau was aware of God’s priorities in marriage. Why then did he marry a Canaanite woman? For the same reason he sold his birthright (Gen 25:27-24) for a bowl of stew, he was making his decisions or choices based on wrong values and therefore making a mess of his own life. He could have waited and made the effort to marry an acceptable woman. He wanted what he wanted and his immediate desires were his only consideration. That is a foolish way to make decisions. What were the results of making a decision based on wrong values? A mess! His life serves as an example to us.
iv) He Marries A Third Wife From The Line Of Ishmael
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Genesis 28:6-9 6 Now Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and had sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he commanded him, “Do not marry a Canaanite woman,” 7 and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and had gone to Paddan Aram. 8 Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; 9 so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.
Note:- Gen 28:6-9. In a contrasting anticlimax Esau, trying to please his father, married a descendant of Abraham through Ishmael. Mahalath, a daughter of Ishmael, was thus a cousin of Esau. Ironically the unchosen son of Isaac married into the unchosen line of Ishmael! So Esau tried to better his marital reputation by marrying a third wife (cf. 26:34). Esau had no understanding of the Abrahamic Covenant and its purity. He was still living on the human level. [(Walvoord, John F., and Zuck, Roy B., The Bible Knowledge Commentary, (Wheaton, Illinois: Scripture Press Publications, Inc.) 1983, 1985.]
‘Marrying back into the line of Abraham through the family of Ishmael seemed to have been a ploy to gain favor with his father (vv. 6,8), and show an obedience similar to his brother’s (v. 7). He hoped by such gratifying of his parents to atone for past delinquencies, and maybe have his father change the will. He actually increased iniquity by adding to his pagan wives (26:34,35) a wife from a family God had rejected.’ [MacArthur, J. J. 1997, c1997. The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) . Word Pub.: Nashville]
iv) Christians Should Not Be Unequally Yoked
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The Israelites were not to inter-marry with the nations inside the land of Canaan:
Deut 7:3-4 ‘Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.’
In the same way the New Testament is clear about the fact that Christians should not marry non-Christians:
2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1 ‘14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” 17 “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” 18 “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 7:1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.’
1 Corinthians 7:16 ‘How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?’
CONCLUSION
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Any Christian who is considering marriage must carefully consider their choice of a life partner (spouse) since they are bringing a new person into their own family, in the same way as they now become a part of their spouse’s family. A choice of a wrong marriage partner could make life terrible for the whole family for perhaps the rest of their lives as happened in the case of Isaac’s mother, Rebecca (Gen 27:46)! ***
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