INTRODUCTION
„X Last week we looked at the importance of harmony within the church family. Harmony is something that we must work on to keep, each of us needs to do our part.
„X Today I want to follow up on the issue of harmony with a message on what to do when someone is out of harmony with the rest of the body. What do we do when someone is out of step with the rest of the church?
„X What do we do with the person who is a part of the body of Christ who is continually stirring the pot to cause strife? What do we do with the person who refuses to be obedient to Jesus in their life?
„X How do we deal with a person who is caught up in the web of sin in their life?
„X Do you see how these situations can be a disruption to the harmony within the family?
„X More times than not these situations are dealt with by just ignoring them, I have been guilty of that myself. We are afraid to make someone upset or we are afraid they will leave the church if we say anything.
„X As these situations arise in the church, the way they are dealt with can cause a lot of harm to the church body and to its reputation in the community. The way we deal with these situations can also be a way to bring glory to our God.
„X The title to the message today is Compassionate Confrontation. I use that term because there are times when we need to confront people for their own good and the good of the body of Christ. When we confront with the right spirit, for the right reasons following the right path, and striving for the right outcome, confrontation is the compassionate thing to do.
„X Sweeping everything under the carpet hoping it will go away is not a good way to deal with issues. Many times when things are ignored, the problem becomes bigger and bigger.
„X Former Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula was quoted as saying the following while he was talking to a reporter about a player’s mistake in practice: He said, "We never let an error go unchallenged. Uncorrected errors multiply." Then the reporter said, "Isn’t there benefit in overlooking one small flaw?" Shula said, "What is a small flaw?" I think about that all day long. What is a small flaw? I see that with my children. I’ve let a lot of things slide by because I was too tired. I didn’t want another confrontation. But uncorrected errors do multiply. You’ve got to face them some day. You might as well face them on the spot. If I could do it over again with my children, I’d face the errors on the spot. It’s easier on them and on you. That works in relationships with anyone. If there’s something under the surface, something you sense, you might as well just bring it right out. Face it right then. Success lies in the details. Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence. http://www.christianglobe.com/Illustrations/theDetails.asp?whichOne=c&whichFile=confrontation
SERMON
I. CONFRONTATION SHOULD BE DONE IN THE CORRECT SPIRIT. GALATIANS 6:1
„X When it looks like there is a need to confront someone over an issue that is jeopardizing church harmony we must go into it with the correct spirit. We must be sure before we confront someone; we must spend a lot of time in prayer over the issue. We do not want to run ahead of God. We want to make sure we say the right things and that what we say comes across in a loving caring manner.
„X Too many times confrontation is marred by anger, angry comments and angry attitudes.
„X GALATIANS 6:1 says: Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
„X It is easy to have a mean-spirited attitude towards the person who needs to be confronted. In end of the fifth chapter of Galatians, Paul speaks of the deeds of the flesh and how those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
„X Instead of having a hatful spirit towards people who are on the wrong path, we are called to have a spirit of gentleness. We are to be gentle with people as we try to help them.
„X We are also called to guard against building ourselves up at the expense of others. Notice that we are told we are to look to ourselves so that we will not be tempted.
„X We also need to realize we could easily be the one who is in need of correction. We are capable of doing the same thing as the one we are trying to help.
II. CONFRONTATION SHOULD BE DONE FOR THE CORRECT REASONS.
When we decide confrontation is necessary, we must make sure it is done for the correct reasons. There are many valid reasons to confront a person. Here are a few in no particular order.
1. A factious person. Titus 3:10-11 states, ¡§Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.¡¨
„X Bob Russell in his book, ¡§When God Builds A Church states, ¡§a divisive person is someone who is threatening the harmony of the church, not just someone who disagrees with you. (Page 167)
„X The word the NASB translates ¡§factious¡¨ comes from a word that means ¡§to cause divisions by pressing their destructive opinions upon others.¡¨
„X This is not a person who is asking questions, or even questioning what we do and believe. It is a person whose purpose is to stir trouble.
„X It is a word that that we get the word heretic.
„X Paul¡¦s use of this word does not indicate the nature of their teaching but rather their behavior. He is concerned about the destructive nature of their teaching and their behavior.
2. Immorality is another valid reason for confrontation. READ 1 CORINTHIANS 5:1-7
„X Verse 2 tells us the church was doing nothing about the situation.
„X Verses 6-7 tell us that one bad apple will spoil the rest. A LITTLE DIRT WILL NOT HURT
3. When a person strays from the truth. READ JAMES 5:19-20
„X When we see someone straying from the truth, the compassionate thing to do is to help get them back on track.
4. Deliberate disobedience to God¡¦s Word. READ 2 Thess 3:14-15
5. If a person is caught in any trespass. Galatians 6:1
„X When a person has gone off course we are not to write them off, we are to rush to their aid. When a person is ¡§caught¡¨ by a sin, we need to be there to help them.
III. CONFRONTATION SHOULD FOLLOW THE CORRECT PATH. MATTHEW 18:15-17 READ
Step 1- Verse 15. We are to show the brother their fault in private. If he listens, then we have succeeded!
Step 2- Verse 16. If he does not listen to us, we then need to get two or three to go with us to confront the situation. Deuteronomy 19:15 is quoted by Jesus to remind people that we are not to convict on the word of just one person. If one on one does not work, we need to take a couple of people with us so that nothing gets out of line.
Step 3- Verse 17. If one on one, taking two or three with you does not work, then we are to take it to the church to try to resolve the issue. This step is rarely taken in our society because most people would just run to another church and talk about how mean the church trying to help them was.
Step 4- Verse 18. Ask them to leave the church. This step seems mean, but remember what 1 Corinthians 5:6-7 told us. Just think what allowing immorality in the church can do to the reputation of the church. Think about what would happen to church harmony if we let a factious person continue to cause problems. If the church has done all it can, then this step is not cruel, it is for the good of the church.
IV. CONFRONTATION SHOULD BE DIRECTED TOWARD THE CORRECT OUTCOME. GALATIANS 6:1
„X The goal of confronting the contentious person, the goal to confronting the person who is deliberately disobedient, the person who has strayed from the truth is all the same. Restoration.
„X GALATIANS 6:1 says: Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.
„X In 1 Corinthians 5:5 Paul says, I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
„X We are trying to restore the person spiritually; we are trying to restore harmony. We are trying to get everyone on the same page going in the same direction, striving for the same goals.
„X Our goal is not to be cruel, to show people up, it is to help them.
„X It is really more compassionate to confront issues rather than to just push them under the rug. I have made a few people mad by confronting them with their issue of immorality. I would rather have them mad at me because I tried to help than to have them like me and see them pay an eternal price for what they were doing.
CONCLUSION
„X Not too many people like confrontation. It takes real courage and love to confront people when needed in a compassionate way. It is easy to confront people with a wrong attitude or wrong spirit.
„X How many times have you confronted a person in anger? Was it hard? No, because our emotions were running the show, not our love for the person.
„X There are times when we are called to confront. Let us make sure we do it with the correct spirit, for the correct reasons, following the correct steps with a desire for the correct outcome.
