INTRO.- More quips, quotes and notes.
- God created the energy. We created the crisis. (God creates good things and we make a mess of them. Do you remember what God said after each thing He created?)
- Men and money are much alike – the tighter they get, the louder they talk.
- Ignorance is not the problem. It is not knowing when we are ignorant that causes the difficulty.
- He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
- The noisier a fellow gets, the less likely we are to listen to him. (How true! True for preachers and politicians.)
- Smart folks lose their temper permanently.
Eph. 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
James 1:19-20 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
- Many people know how to make a living. Few know what to do with it when they have it made.
- The best way to keep teenagers at home is to make their surroundings pleasant and le the air out of their tires.
- In Hawaii, where the weather is the same the year round, we wonder how they start conversations!
- People will always take you at your own valuation – if you downgrade yourself.
Rom. 12:3 “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”
- Some rights are worth dying for. The right-of-way is not one of them.
- Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all those who point a finger would hold out a friendly hand instead?
- With some men, financial security means getting lifetime jobs for their wives.
- Egotism is that certain something which enables a man who’s in a rut to think he’s in the groove.
- Nowadays, we’re divided into three groups: the haves, the have-nots, and the charge-its.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the other guy has an even better sob story.
- Everyone should have at least two friends – one to talk to and one to talk about.
More proverbial wisdom.
I. COVERING AND REPEATING
17:9 “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
ILL.- A man who had been looking for a good church to attend happened into a small church in which the congregation was reading with the minister. They were saying: “We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.”
The man dropped into a seat and sighed with relief as he said to himself: “thank goodness, I have found my crowd at last.”
We’re all in that same crowd. We all have failed when it comes to the sins of commission and sins of omission. We all commit sin and we all fail to do good, which is also sin.
ILL.- A man filling out a job application blank came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” His answer was “No.” The next question asked way, “Why? The applicant answered: “Never got caught.”
We’re all sinners. Some have just never been caught. We’ve all sinned and do sin. And we all need a covering for our sin.
How do we cover over an offense? Listen to this story.
Gen. 9:20-26 “Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father’s nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, he said, "Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers." He also said, "Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem.”
Several thoughts from this story. Even though Noah had been saved from the flood because he was a righteous man, he was still a sinner. He got drunk. Good people still sin. Christians still sin. They may not want to sin, but they still sin because of the sin nature that is within us all. I am not trying to make an excuse for sin, just pointing out a truth that applies to us all.
The apostle Paul struggled with sin as great as he was.
Rom. 7:15 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” What a dilemma, which we all have!
Back to Noah. Noah got drunk and lay naked in his tent. His son Ham just looked at his father, but did nothing. Oh, yes, he did do something. He told his brothers. He repeated the matter. He spread the bad news instead of trying to do something good for his father. Sons Shem and Japheth literally covered up their father’s nakedness. THEY COVERED OVER THEIR FATHER’S SIN.
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. We need to do our best to cover over an offense or sin in order to promote love. How do we do this?
The worse thing we can do when someone sins is to repeat the matter to others, meaning gossip about the sin. That does nothing but make things worse and makes us guilty of sin.
The principle of Scripture is that we are to bear one another’s sin, not spread it around.
Gal. 6:1-3 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”
Only the truly spiritual should be in the restoration business and that’s because, they, too, will be tempted and perhaps greatly! Any time you profess to be something special, something spiritual, you are going to be tested. However, all of us can bear one another’s burden in certain ways: through prayer, love, encouragement, etc.
How do we cover over an offense? We don’t condone the sin, but neither do we condemn it. We must seek to love the person out of the sin. LOVE NEVER FAILS. We don’t beat up people, we bear their sins in the spirit of love.
We become peacemakers instead of people breakers.
ILL.- There is a story told concerning two members of a church who had disagreed over a very trivial and unimportant matter. The disagreement continued over a period of time until it hardened into ill will and hatred.
A mutual friend became distressed about the situation and finally said to himself, “I’m going to be a peacemaker and do what I can to heal the breach between my friends.”
He called on his friend Brown first and asked him, “What do you think of my friend Thompson?”
Brown looked at him, and in anger answered: “Think of him? He is contemptible in my sight!” The peacemaker replied, “But you must admit he is very kind to his family.” Somewhat hesitantly came the answer, “Yes, that’s true. He is kind to his family.”
The next day the peacemaker called to see his friend Thompson and said, “Do you know what Brown said about you?” “No, but I can imagine the dirty, unkind things he would say about me!” “Well,” said the peacemaker “he said you are very kind to your family.” “He said that?” exclaimed Thompson.
“He surely did. Now, what do you think of Brown?” Thompson said, “I still think he is a scamp and a rascal.” The peacemaker continued, “But you will have to admit that he is an honest man.” “Yes, he is honest, but what has that to do with it?”
The very next day the peacemaker called on Brown and said, “Do you know that Thompson said that you are a very honest man?” “You don’t mean it,” said Brown. “I do mean it, I heard him say it with my own ears.”
The next Sunday Brown and Thompson sat together in church, rejoicing in each other’s fellowship. The attempt of the peacemaker was successful! Why? Because he acted from a heart of love.
I Pet. 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Prov. 10:12 “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.”
II. STARTING AND STOPING
17:14 “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
Or starting a quarrel is like making a hole in a dam and small holes lead to big holes.
ILL.- A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.
What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away. Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please." Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what you stopped me for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!" Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what’s the difference!?!"
The police officer pulled out his nightstick and began hitting the man’s head and shoulders. Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?”
Brothers and sisters, it doesn’t pay to start an argument or quarrel with some people. Things only get worse and generally for the person who starts the quarrel.
Quarreling is not good. It’s not a good sign and it accomplishes little good.
I Cor. 3:3 “You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?”
II Cor. 12:20 “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”
The Corinthians were apparently a quarrelsome lot and it was not good. Quarreling is an indication of worldliness in a person’s heart, which can lead to other things.
ILL.- We had a young deacon in one church who always had something to say at board meetings even if there was no business to discuss. And the problem was, what he wanted to say was always negative or of a quarrelsome nature. It seemed like he always wanted to argue about something. Consequently, he didn’t influence many people or win many friends.
James 4:1-3 “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
When people want to argue and fight all the time they have a problem deep within. Quarreling is an indication that someone is not getting their way and this is nothing more than selfishness. And self is the biggest sinner of all!
ILL.- Someone said, “A boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” It may also be that a boy becomes a man when he is willing to walk away instead of fight.
ILL.- Another person said, “One of the marks of a gentleman is his refusal to make an issue out of every difference of opinion.”
We don’t have to argue, quarrel or even contest every difference of opinion.
Just because someone believes something different than us it doesn’t mean that we have to challenge them or correct them on every issue. Self control is more spiritual than fighting. And love is far more spiritual than quarreling.
If you are absolutely convinced that you are right and they are wrong and yet you don’t want to argue or fight, here’s the position to take.
I Cor. 14:38 Paul said, “But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.” Some people may well be as dumb as a fence post. Just let him be ignorant. Let God deal with him. He can deal with people better than we can any time.
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” It always pays to stop an argument before something worse happens.
ILL.- When I was a senior in high school there was a junior boy who said he could whip any senior. I was a senior, but I sure didn’t challenge him. His name was Clarence Ward and he was a big strapping farm boy and a lot bigger than I was.
One day in gym class the coach paired us up and made us box one another, with boxing gloves, of course. My best friend, Curtis Smart, had to box Clarence Ward. Both my friend and Clarence came out swinging. There was no finesse to it. It was hit as hard as you could and as fast as you could.
After the match was over, my friend had a bloody mouth, but I thought he held his own. He did far better than I could. He said, “Man’s he’s tough.”
Clarence kept his challenge going to whip any senior. Another day in our gym class we played what is called hog ball. The class was divided into two teams. Three volleyballs were placed in the middle of gym. The coach would blow his whistle and we all ran for a ball. The idea was to grab a ball and race with it the backboard on the other side. Many times when two guys came together to grab that ball they would fight.
Sure enough, Clarence Ward was one of those guys. On the opposing side was a tall, lanky guy named Daryl Jarnigan. Daryl was a quiet guy and we didn’t know much about him. When Clarence and Daryl met in the middle of the gym floor, Clarence raised his fists as if to fight Daryl. Daryl didn’t even raise his fists. He just hauled off and knocked Clarence backwards in the floor. I saw the whole thing. WHAT A PUNCH! I actually saw air between Clarence’s feet the floor. Daryl knocked Clarence clear off his feet. And you know, after that Clarence said nothing more about wanting to whip any senior.
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
Clarence Ward had started a quarrel with the whole senior class, but he didn’t count on the big dispute that was coming his way. He went looking for trouble and found it, big time! More than he could handle.
It pays to think twice before starting a quarrel or argument. You, too, might get more than you can handle.
Prov. 20:3 “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
