SURVIVING EMOTIONAL PAIN
PSALM 23:3a & JOB 11:13-16
INTRODUCTION:
Sometimes this life can hurt us so badly that it actually hurts to hurt. There can come times when the wound is so deep we wonder if healing is even possible. In the movie, Minority Report, John Anderton, played by Tom Cruise is with his wife and a young girl named Agatha. John and Laura, several years before, had lost their 6 year old son, Sean... kidnaped and murdered. In the scene we are about to see Agatha, who is a type of “seerer” recounts what little Sean’s life would of been like had he lived and in doing so reopens wounds of loss, grief and deep emotional pain.
Minority Report Chapter 20: 1:56:56 - 1:59:02
What is it in this life that has hurt you deeply? Loss of a loved one? The pain of a failure? The shame of a sin? The hurt from another? This morning, more than anything else, I want you to know that God loves and hurts with you. He wants to help you deal with all of your pain. He wants to aid you in handling whatever is hurting your heart today. In other words, as David the author of the 23rd Psalm says, He wants to “restore your soul.”
David knew the need for the Lord to be his restoration because David had times in his life where he hurt too. He had tasted disappointment in being hurt by others, he had felt defeat when he seriously sinned, he knew the despair of losing a loved one, his own child. And maybe you haven’t experienced a deep hurt yet but odds are you will. And we can all learn from what David writes here. Because when he allowed the Shepherd to restore him then his life was completely transformed for the better. And the great news is that the same restoration is promised for us today.
I. THE PRINCIPLE OF RESTORATION:
First, let’s understand this principle of restoration. When David writes “He restores my soul,” he once again writes from a shepherd’s perspective for that’s what he was. Anytime you look at the Bible it helps to be able to understand the words in the context of the writer’s viewpoint. The Hebrew word for “restore” literally means to return to a right place. It has the connotation of rescuing or renewing. David is making the point that God wants to return our lives... our emotions, our relationships, our hearts & minds, to the right place. Because the word “soul” here is referring to our inner being, our hearts. He is saying that God will return our deepest selves to a right place with Him if we will allow Him to.
And David certainly understood that from a Shepherd context because he understood the work of a shepherd. Sometimes restoration was needed because a sheep would become what is called “cast down.” Author, Phillip Keller writes: “A “cast down” sheep is a very pathetic sight. Lying on its back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to get up, without success. It will bleat out for help in frightened frustration. If the shepherd does not arrive on the scene within a reasonably short time, the sheep will die. This is why it is so essential for a shepherd to look over his flock every day, making sure they are up on their feet. If even one is missing the first thought to flash to the shepherd’s mind is “One of my sheep is cast down somewhere. I must go in search of it and set it on its feet again.”
But it’s not only the “cast-down” sheep that need restoring, but also the constantly wandering sheep. Haddon Robinson tells that when a shepherd took his sheep out to graze that often, one of the sheep would become interested in a tuft of grass here and another there and another. Finally, without realizing, it discovers it has wandered away from the flock. The shepherd that night counts the sheep when they come into the fold: “96-97-98-99" and discovers one is missing. And so leaving his flock in the care of a trusted friend he moves out into the darkness. As he walks he calls out and listens for the cry of the sheep. Finally, out in the darkness, he hears the bleating of this lost one. He goes to it, puts it on his shoulders and brings it back to the fold. Occasionally, Robinson says, a shepherd will have one sheep that night after night when he counts them- 97-98-99- the same one has wandered away. If he has a name I suspect it might be Tim Smith. Night after night the shepherd goes out and finds it and puts it on his shoulders and carries it back. Then, after this has occurred again and again, the shepherd will do a rather strange thing. He’ll go out in the darkness, find the sheep and then when he gets it back home he’ll break its leg and puts that leg in a splint. The next day the sheep is helpless. It cannot walk and so the shepherd will pick it up and carry it. After a time the leg begins to heal. But still the sheep is helpless. The smallest stream is a giant river, the tiniest knoll a mountain. So whenever they reach an obstacle the shepherd reaches down and lifts the sheep across. After a time that leg is healed but the sheep has learned a very valuable lesson. He has learned to stay close to the shepherd’s side.
Strange thing isn’t it? Sounds cruel. To break the leg of a poor defenseless animal seems heartless. Unless, of course you really know the shepherd. And you discover that what on the surface seems to be cruelty is really kindness. For the sheep needs to learn to stay close to the Shepherd’s side. We have a way of doing that don’t we? We wander away from God again and again and sometimes in a Christian’s life God allows our legs to be broken. God doesn’t make it happen to punish or in anger drive us down or cripple us, but, He allows it to happen because from it He knows we learn a valuable lesson. The safest place to be is close to the shepherd.
David understood that, because he knew sheep and knew sinners well. He knew that there were times that we would wander away and he knew that if a sheep had to find its own way back it didn’t have a chance. According to Phillip Keller sheep have a very poor sense of direction. You take your dog out and try to lose it and it may be home waiting for you. Try to lose your cat and you may end up following it home. But take a sheep away from the flock and it can get lost really easy.
David lost his direction. 2 Sam. 11 tells us that one evening, he saw a beautiful woman taking a bath. David lusted for Bathsheba and lured her to the palace and commits adultery with her. To his dismay the results of this adulterous act is pregnancy. What does he do? Instead of confessing his sin he covers his sin. The cover-up doesn’t work so David has her husband Uriah murdered! It was sexual looseness of the worst kind, it was planned, premeditated murder! But David was King and I’m sure he was convinced that his sin was hidden. But what was a secret sin on earth was an open scandal in heaven. And one day, God sent the prophet Nathan to confront David and reveal the fact that The Shepherd knew he had wandered away from the fold. And David’s heart is broken. If you read Psalm 51 you find David pouring out his confessions to the Lord. Saying, “Have mercy on me O God..” “Purify me from my sin...”(Psa. 51:1&7 NLT) But the great thing to realize here is that before David cried out to God, God was searching for him. And God does that for us too. He will search until He finds us so He can set us up on our feet and restore us to the fold. How does He do that? Let’s look at three main emotional hurts and how God will restore us.
II. THE PRACTICE OF RESTORATION:
1st, I need to let God remove my guilt. Nothing destroys a soul faster than guilt. David wrote in Ps. 38:4 "My guilt overwhelms me - it is a burden too heavy to bear." (NLT) All of us, like David, have fallen to temptation, have deliberately rebelled and wandered off. But our Shepherd, is not as concerned with the circumstances of our sin, as much as He is with how we respond to our sin. How do you deal with the guilt in your life? There are a lot of options. The world has a lot of unworthy solutions. The world says, “Just deny it, pretend it doesn’t exist. You can bury the past.” But unless your conscience is totally seared, it doesn’t work. The world says, “You can compromise it by lowering your standards.” If you feel guilty about something you just say, "I don’t believe it’s wrong anymore, I’ll just change the rules.”But compromise doesn’t relieve guilt. The world says, “Rationalize your guilt.” "Rationalize" = "rational lies". And we rational-lies in a number of ways. We blame other people. It’s not my fault.. It’s my parents, my teachers, my friends, or my pastors fault. But in the end you know you are responsible for your own actions so blaming other people doesn’t help because deep inside we know something is very wrong. That’s why guilt makes people sick. They know something’s wrong and won’t deal with it. Denying, compromising or rationalizing doesn’t work. There is only one solution to your guilt. You’ve got to trust God to remove it! He’s the only One who can do it, in fact He’s already done it.
The most basic truth of Christianity is Jesus Christ has already paid for all of your sins. Everything you’ve already committed, all of the sins, including the mistakes in your future have already been paid for. All you need to do is respond to Jesus in the way He has asked... by your faith, you place your trust in Him. Then, once you have a relationship with Him because of what Jesus Christ did for you on the Cross, you trust His word. 1 Jn 1:9- “If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” David said in Psa. 32:5- “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord- and You forgave the GUILT of my sin.” So just accept it. That’s how your guilt will be removed. What matters is not what you’ve done, but what Jesus Christ has already done. How do you get forgiveness from God? You trust Him for it. You don’t beg, bribe, or bargain with God. Just trust God, have faith that He will do what He says and then express that faith and do what He asks.
But you say, “I’ve asked God to forgive me many times and I still feel guilty.” That means you don’t really understand how God forgives.. It is immediate, unconditional, free and complete the first time you ask. Read aloud with me this statement from God: “I will forgive their wrongdoings, and I will never again remember their sins.”(Heb. 8:12 NLT) You see, God not only forgives but He forgets. We have been freed from our prison of sin. Some of you confess a sin to God and keep bringing it back up to Him.. Like He doesn’t have a good enough memory and you need to remind Him.
Listen, if you feel guilty about a sin you’ve already confessed to God that guilt is not from God, it’s from the devil. Satan is the one that wants you to feel bad, uptight. It’s an interesting thing how the devil works.. Before you commit a sin, Satan minimizes it-- "It’s no big deal". But after you commit the sin he maximizes it and says, "This sin is so big, God could never forgive you!" That’s a lie! Let me ask you... When you pay a bill do you still worry about it? No. The moment you pay you stop sweating over it. Jesus, on the Cross, said "It’s finished. I’ve paid for your sins". If you’ve put your faith in Christ, God’s not going to get even with you because all of your punishment was taken by Jesus Christ. Why punish you when He’s already punished Christ? Jesus was voluntarily nailed to the cross so you can stop nailing yourself for that sin. Let God remove your guilt.
(2)Let God relieve my grief and pain. Not all of the things in life that damage us are things I bring upon myself. Sometimes I am in pain because of things that are done to me or happen to me. And that can bring on enormous and deep hurt! Oh, the world offers some solutions for this too. There’s resignation. You deserve a giant pity party and give up. Or.. isolation.. withdraw into a shell and say "I’ll never let a man/ woman hurt me again, ‘cause I’ll never allow anyone close to me again!" Or.. desperation.. People see no use in living any more. No hope but a life of misery. But, resignation, isolation or desperation won’t get rid of your grief. But, there is one way that will work. Give it to God! Let Him deal with it and work with Him His way and He’ll restore you. He’s done it for others, He’ll do it for you too.
A FAITH STORY BY STEVEN INGRAM
(Song: Broken)
Steve’s story of brokenness can help us see God’s suggestions for dealing with pain. They are much like the way David dwelt with his. In 1 Samuel 12, David carried guilt over his adultery and murder but he confessed it and accepted God’s forgiveness. But David still bore the consequences of his sin. God had told him that one of the consequences was that the baby which Bathsheba bore from their illicit union would not live. That caused David great pain. When the baby was born sick, David got on his knees, prayed, fasted. He said, "God, this baby hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m the one who blew it. I’m the one who made the mistake. Please, save the baby.." But the baby died. What did David do with his pain? Three things that we need to do to.
(1) Accept what can’t be changed. After the baby died 2 Sam. 12:22-23 tells us: “David got up from the ground.. He said, `While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept... But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back to life?" You’ve been hurt by circumstances, by people. All of the crying, all the sleeping in, all the withdrawal is not going to change the past. The first step to emotional health, healing, restoring your soul is acceptance. I cannot change my background. I cannot change the hurts I’ve experienced. I cannot bring them back. (2) Play it down and pray it up. Don’t exaggerate it, dedicate it. Pain is inevitable in this life, but misery is optional. The Bible says, give it to God. Did you hear the line in Steve’s testimony when he said, “He could of given up on church or God?” You know what David did after his baby died? 2 Sam. 12:20- "After he had washed, put on lotions, and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped." He did the same thing. He went to church. We often do the very opposite. We run from church when we’re hurting. But when he worshiped God, it gave him a new perspective and the strength to carry on. (3) Focus on the good that’s left not bad that was lost. 2 Sam. 12:24 "Then David comforted his wife.. and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon." Some of you are going through some pain right now. God is not finished with your life. He’s not through with you. It hurts. But it does not have to devastate you if you’ll open your life up to Christ and let Him heal your heart. Look at what He did in Steve’s life, in David’s life. Listen, if you’re still alive then the rest of your life can be the best of your life. Let Him have your hurt.
(3) Let God replace my grudges. Now, we’ll spend a whole week on surviving this type of stress in a couple of weeks so for now just understand that I feel guilty for what I’ve done to others, but I feel grudges about what others have done to me. The fact is people will hurt you. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. Either way, it still hurts. How you handle mistreatment in this life determines whether you are a bitter person or a better person. The difference between bitter and better is the letter "I". I make the choice. So, choose to let your past be past. The people that hurt you can’t hurt you anymore unless you keep rehearsing it! They may even still be hurting you from the grave. Does that make sense?
What’s the solution? Leave it to God! In other words, let God do His job! He’s the only One that has perfect judgement! Romans 12:19 - "Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for He has said He will repay those who deserve it."(LB) Listen, this is earth, not heaven. Heaven is where God’s will is always done, not here. But God has said one day He is going to right the wrongs-- the crimes, the injustice, the prejudice, the racism, the sexism, the rapes, murders, hurts, abuse. One day God is going to settle the score. In the meantime, the Bible says, don’t take vengeance yourself, leave that to God. How do we do that? Two things: (1) Eph. 4:21-"Get rid of all bitterness..” Martin Luther King once said, "Bitterness is blindness." If I allow you and your hurt to make me bitter it blinds me to the truth of what God wants to do in my life. (2) Eph. 4:32- “..forgive each other just as in Christ God forgave you." Ever been forgiven? Then be forgiving. You will never have to forgive another person more than God has already forgiven you. But you will never be healed from your hurt until you accept God’s forgiveness and then offer that same forgiveness to other people.
Please, please understand, Jesus Christ wants to heal your hurting heart. I love Phillip Keller’s details about a “cast-down” sheep and what the shepherd does to get him back on his feet. “When sheep lay on their back, gas begins to collect in their stomach. It hardens the stomach, cuts off the air passage and they suffocate. Not only that, their legs go numb in that position. They need a shepherd to restore them. When a shepherd restores a cast down sheep, it doesn’t just happen immediately. It takes time. The shepherd lovingly massages the four legs to get some circulation back. Then he begins to talk in a reassuring tone to the sheep, "You’re going to make it." Then he gently turns the sheep over and lifts it up because it cannot stand up on its own. He’ll hold the animal there while the sheep begins to get some equilibrium. The blood begins to flow in the legs again and it begins to get some stability. When the shepherd is sure that the sheep can stand on its own, then the shepherd will lovingly have the sheep follow him home.”
What a picture! When you’re on your back and the emotional pain of guilt, grief or grudges are overwhelming you, will you remember that the Lord is your Shepherd? He lovingly comes with tender hands and reassuring words, picks us up and sets us up straight until we can get on our feet again and then says, “Okay, now follow Me home.” We can restore a lot of things -- cars, paintings, coins, buildings- but only God can restore a soul. How do we allow Him to do it? Read with me Job 11:13-16: "Devote your heart to Him and stretch out your hands to Him.. If you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm & without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by."
For.. “The Lord is my shepherd.. He will restore my soul.”
{Scriptures taken from the New International Version unless otherwise noted}
