TRAIN UP A CHILD
Proverbs 21-22
SCRIPTURE READING: Luke 8:4-8
INTRODUCTION:
We’ve been studying Proverbs and Parables for about 3 months now … in sermons and in the Pueblo groups. This week’s section of Proverbs contains one of the most-quoted verses. Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will; not turn from it.
Since Proverbs has so much to say about parents and children, I thought this would be a good week to focus on child-raising. One thing we have to keep in mind is that children come into the world with open minds. They see things with fresh eyes. A few weeks ago, ___________ gave me a list of some proverbs written by children. A teacher gave some children the first parts of some well-known sayings like: Better safe than … Sorry, and Don’t bite the hand that … Feeds You. Listen to the way kids completed these sayings:
· Better to be safe than … to punch a fifth grader.
· Don’t bite the hand that …looks dirty
· As you make your bed so shall you … mess it up
· A miss is as good as a …Mister
· You can’t teach an old dog new … math
· If you lie down with dogs, you’ll … stink in the morning
· A penny saved is … not much
· Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and … you have to blow your nose
· Children should be seen and not … spanked or grounded.
The Parable this week is the Parable of the 4 Soils. Today we’re going to talk about How to raise a child so that the Soil of his or her Heart is ready for God’s Word to take root. I think we can agree that there is nothing more important than raising children who will be receptive to the Gospel.
In the Parable, the first kind of soil was the Wayside. This soil was so hard the seed of God’s Word could not penetrate it. How can we avoid raising children who will grow up to have HARD HEARTS?
1. Hard Hearts
Dr. James Dobson said something in one of his books that has stuck with me. He said every child asks two questions every day: Am I loved? And Can I do whatever I want? And every child needs to hear a big YES and an equally big NO. The child needs to know for sure, YES I am loved and NO I can’t do whatever I want. If either answer is weak or missing, you’ve got trouble.
Loving their own child is an instinct most parents have. But what we may not catch on to is that a parent who really loves his child will discipline that child. Maybe that’s why Proverbs contains so many verses about disciplining children. I’ll share just a few with you. Proverbs 13:24 says He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Discipline should never be given out of anger or frustration. If the parent is angry and impatient, he needs to discipline HIMSELF, not the child. Godly discipline is always given for the clear purpose of helping the child learn right from wrong. Like a shepherd would use a rod to direct the sheep into the pen, a parent uses discipline to train the child in the way he should go.
Proverbs 22:15 says Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Discipline is for the protection of the child. If a toddler reaches for a hot stove you might slap his little hand. The principle is the same for all discipline. Temporary minor pain is given so the child can avoid a permanent major disaster.
The worst thing a parent can do is to let a child to make all his own choices. If you haven’t noticed, today’s culture is going to send young people on the road to ruin. Proverbs 29:15 says The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. Children should never be left to themselves. For one thing, Children need protection form the HARDENING influences that are all around us.
Children need to be protected from a lot of what’s on TV, in the Movies, in Music, on Video Games, and on the Internet. As a parent, you can’t afford to be naïve. Take the time to look at the shows kids are watching. Read the lyrics to songs kids will hear. It’s not smart to have a computer in a child’s room where they have unsupervised Internet access. I know of one family that cancelled cable, took down the antenna, and used the TV just for Videos or DVD’s while their children were young. Part of discipline means protecting children from influences that will warp their minds and HARDEN their hearts.
The second kind of soil in the Parable was SHALLOW soil. The seed could not establish deep roots. Let’s take some time to think of how we can avoid raising children with shallow hearts.
2. Shallow Hearts
Keep in mind that if the parent’s relationship with God is shallow, the child probably won’t have much depth either. As a parent, nothing is more important than deepening your own relationship with God. Proverbs 20:7 says, The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him. We may not be blameless all the time, but as examples for our kids, we need to do more than just talk the talk. We need to walk the walk. Children can always spot hypocrisy. Let your children see that your relationship with God is your first priority.
One way to keep a young person from having a SHALLOW heart is to provide them with experiences that will DEEPEN their understanding of God. Look at the word-picture in Proverbs 14:26: He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. God intends for your home to be like a fortress for your family. I believe the church is also meant to be a place of safety and a refuge for young people. One way to help DEEPEN the spiritual lives of children is to take advantage of the support the church can give you.
· Help your child become a part of the Children’s and Youth Groups at church.
· Send your kids to retreats, camps, Christian concerts, etc. This involves a sacrifice of money and time, but it’s worth the cost. From what I’ve seen, Camps and Retreats have more impact on young lives than just about anything else.
· Consider Christian Education: There are so many options available now days. More and more parents are Home-schooling, or sending their kids to Christian schools. I’m a big believer in students going to a Christian College, at least for that important first year away from home. Part of raising a child in the way he should go means asking God what kind of education is right for your child.
The third kind of soil in the Parable was full of Thorns and Weeds. It’s way too easy to end up raising our kids with a schedule full of thorns and weeds! Life gets hectic, and if we’re not careful, we’ll raise kids with…
3. Distracted Hearts
Proverbs 17:6 says Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. I like the first part of that verse since I have two CROWNS now. (I’m not too sure about that “aged” part, though.) The second half of the Proverb is what I want to focus on today: parents are the pride of their children. The problem is, some kids hardly have a chance to know their parents. Everyone is so busy that they are lucky to spend 10 minutes together on any given day.
It’s easy to get so caught up in the demands of career and trying to get the bills paid that we squeeze family out of the picture. We need to remember the truth in Proverbs 15:17: Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred. Most kids would agree with that verse. A loving home matters more than financial success to any child.
Besides clearing the Weeds out of our own schedules, we may need to clear some weeds out of our child’s schedule. It’s way too easy to let good activities over-crown our lives. We’re running to school, music lessons, clubs, games, … and even church activities … until no one knows whether they’re coming or going. One way to avoid having an over-crowded life is to clear less important things out of your schedule. It’s easier said than done, but it’s worth the effort. Don’t let weeds and thorns choke out time that should be saved for worship and for family.
One of the purposes of the church is to help parents raise children who will have Hearts that are Open to the Gospel.
4. Open Hearts
I read some statistics from Child Evangelism Fellowship on the age when people make a decision to follow Jesus Christ. This was what they found:
1% - make a decision for Christ before 4 years old
85% - between 4 and 14
10% - between 15 and 30
4% - after age 30
The years of childhood are irreplaceable. Those years come only once, and they go by so quickly. We want to raise children whose hearts are open to the Word of God. That’s where ALL of us come in. We are all a church family, and it’s up to all of us to give time and energy toward the children and youth in our church.
Recently we asked a lady how it was that she became a Christian. She’s actively involved in church and loves the Lord, but we knew that her parents weren’t church-goers. She said that one Sunday when she was 10 years old, she walked to a church down the block from her house and just went in. An elderly lady sat beside her. The lady was nice to her and took her to Sunday School class. And the lady told her she was a beautiful little girl. So she decided to come back every week. The interest you show in a child can have a big pay-off.
CONCLUSION:
I’d like to conclude today by giving someone else a chance to talk about the value of each child and the importance of teaching children.
John Travis teaches in our Children’s Church. He and Alisa are parents to 3 adorable little children. You’ve heard from an “aged” grandpa who’s looking back on childrearing. Now take a minute to listen to someone at the other end of the child-raising years.
Testimony: John Travis
Closing comments/prayer.
