1 Corinthians 7:10-16
When The Wrecking Ball Hits A Home (part 1)
Introduction
“Divorce.”
I remember the first time I heard that word. I was 10 years old. Growing up in the late 50’s and early 60’s “divorce” wasn’t part of our vocabulary. But when I was ten, a friend of mine’s parents got divorced. Even though my friend’s father was an alcoholic and he had abused his wife and children, it was still a shock to everyone—that a husband and wife in our community got a divorce.
Today the word “divorce” is commonplace. I dare say that most 10-year-olds in America know that word. Not only that, but I dare say they know someone personally who has been divorced.
As Christians, what should our stance be on the issue of divorce? Now, we know that we are not to follow the dictates of society or the norms of our culture. We know that we must follow our only true and reliable guide—the Word of God.
The problem is that there isn’t a consensus among pastors and theologians as to what the Word of God teaches on the subject.
· I know pastors who hold a very strict view on divorce. They believe the Bible does not allow for divorce or remarriage under any circumstances.
· I know pastors who take a very liberal view. They believe the Bible allows for divorce and remarriage for any reason.
· I know pastors who take a less lenient view. They believe the Bible allows for divorce and remarriage under some circumstances.
· And I even know pastors who believe it is permissible to divorce, but not to remarry.
So there is no consensus of opinion regarding the Bible’s teaching on the subject.
We have come to chapter 7 in our study of 1 Corinthians. And in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, Paul tackles the topic of divorce. So today and for the next 2 Sunday mornings I’d like to share with you what I believe the Word of God teaches regarding divorce.
Now, you may disagree with what I say. If you do, that’s okay. Please don’t get angry and leave Shiloh. Don’t go out and start the “First Church of the I Don’t Agree With Lyon On The Topic of Divorce.” If you have a different understanding of the Word of God on this subject, that’s okay. There is room for disagreement.
I also want to make clear up front that I am not trying to pick on anyone. If you are divorced or divorced and remarried, it is not my intent to single you out or to embarrass you. I know how painful this subject can be. I realize for many of you this is not an academic exercise or an intellectual pursuit. It’s a very personal and painful experience that has touched your lives. And so I want to be sensitive to you as I speak.
But as a teaching elder of this church I have an obligation to share with you the whole counsel of God. And so we must be willing to hear and to submit to what God says about this important issue of our day.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:10, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.”
When Paul says, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord),” he is referring to Christ’s teaching on divorce and remarriage found in Matthew chapter 19. In order to understand what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, we need to go back and consider what Jesus taught in Matthew 19. So let’s turn to Matthew 19 in our Bibles. Matthew is the first book of the New Testament.
In Matthew 19, Jesus is answering questions posed to Him by the religious leaders. They tried to trap Him because they were jealous of His popularity among the people. Look at the question they asked Him in Matthew 19:7: “‘Why then,’ they asked, ‘did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?’ Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.’”
Notice that the Pharisees tried to trip up Jesus regarding a theological point found in the Old Testament Law. They were trying to pit Jesus against Moses in order to discredit Jesus. The passage the Pharisees referred to is Deuteronomy 24. In order to understand Christ’s response in Matthew 19, we need to go back to discover what Moses taught in Deuteronomy 24. Now, keep one finger in Matthew 19 and turn back to Deuteronomy 24. Deuteronomy is the fifth book of the Old Testament.
Are you staying with me? In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul quotes Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19. And in Matthew 19, Jesus is clarifying Moses’ teaching in Deuteronomy 24.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 says, “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.”
Notice that Moses is not commanding, commending, or condoning divorce. Rather, he is regulating it. At this point in Jewish culture, it was easy to divorce your spouse. So Moses sought to regulate a practice that was already widespread in the Jewish society.
Moses said that if a man divorces his wife and if she marries someone else and if her second husband divorces her or dies, then she is not permitted to return to her first husband.
Suppose a married Jewish man has his eye on another woman. Deuteronomy 24 would cause him to stop and think long and hard before divorcing his wife and marrying that other woman. Why? Because—based on Deuteronomy 24—he knew that he would not be able to dump his 1st wife, marry the other woman, only to dump her after their fling and remarry his 1st wife. He knew that if his 1st wife remarried, he would never again be able to be with the wife of his youth; the companion of his years; the mother of his children ever again.
So, this command in Deuteronomy 24 was given in order to prevent frivolous and hasty divorce.
Now, Deuteronomy 24 is the classic Old Testament passage on divorce. And that’s why the Pharisees referred to it in their discussion with Jesus in Matthew 19. So, let’s turn back to Matthew 19. And as we do, keep in mind the Mosaic teaching on divorce in Deuteronomy 24.
Look at Matthew 19:3.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
The Pharisees wanted to see if Jesus would side with the teachings of Rabbi Shammai, who took a very strict view on divorce, or if He would side with Rabbi Hillel, who took a very liberal view on divorce.
Rabbi Shammai taught that the only grounds for divorce was adultery. Rabbi Hillel taught that you could divorce your wife for any reason—even something as trivial as burning your toast at breakfast.
Now, Rabbi Akiba went even further than that. He taught that a man could divorce his wife if he found a woman who was prettier than she was. So if you found a woman who was hotter than your wife, Rabbi Akiba said it was okay to divorce your wife and marry that woman.
But what did Jesus think about all of this? Look at verses 4-6.
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Jesus didn’t get involved in a theological dispute of the rabbis. Rather, He directed the Pharisees to God’s ideal for marriage. Jesus quotes two passages from the creation account in Genesis. First, He quotes Genesis 1:27. And He reminds the Pharisees that God’s original design is 1 man and 1 woman for a lifetime. Then He quotes Genesis 2:24 which states that God’s intent for a husband and a wife is to leave, cleave, and weave for a lifetime.
Verse 7.
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Now it is at this point that the Pharisees refer back to Deuteronomy 24:1-4—the Old Testament passage we just studied. Now, in Deuteronomy 24, did Moses command divorce? (No!) The Pharisees misunderstood Deuteronomy 24. Moses didn’t command the Jews to divorce one another; he simply regulated a practice already in existence.
Verse 8.
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”
Again, Moses didn’t command divorce, but he did permitted it. And why did Moses allow divorce? Because of sin—because of their hard hearts. But at the beginning of creation it wasn’t this way.
· In Genesis 1, God created a man and a woman
· In Genesis 2, God brought the woman to the man and they became one—leave, cleave, weave.
· In Genesis 3, what happened? What happened that altered God’s ideal? (Sin! Everyone say it with me—Sin!)
Satan tempted our 1st parents and they sinned. And when sin entered the world, it threw a wrench in the works. Divorce was permitted because of sin. And in verse 9, Jesus mentions a sin that is grounds for divorce and subsequent remarriage.
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The word for “marital unfaithfulness” is the Greek word porneia—sexual immorality. And I remind you that porneia is a general term that encompasses an array of sexual sins—including fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and lesbianism.
Now, in Old Testament times, the penalty for adultery was death. If you cheated on your spouse, you would be put to death, which made your spouse a widow or a widower and free to remarry. So, why didn’t Jesus just tell the Jews to put the adulterer to death? Why did He say it was okay instead to divorce them? You’ll remember that the Jews in Jesus’ day were living under Roman rule. And the Romans would not allow the Jews to practice capital punishment. So, since the Jews could not execute a person for adultery, Jesus said they could divorce them instead, thus freeing the innocent party to remarry.
Are you still with me? Good! Let me share with you 3 principles that will help us to summarize and tie together all that we covered this morning.
Principle #1—Divorce Is Not God’s Ideal, It Is His Concession
Divorce was not a part of God’s original plan. God’s original design was 1 man and 1 woman for a lifetime. God allowed divorce because sin entered the world. Which leads me to our next principle.
Principle #2—Divorce Is Not Commanded, It Is Permitted
The Word of God does not command you to get a divorce if your spouse has cheated on you. But it does permit you to divorce and remarry in the case of sexual immorality. And that leads me to the final principle.
Principle #3—Divorce Is Not A First Option, It Is A Last Resort
There are few things in life more devastating than being betrayed by your spouse. There are few things in life more devastating than being stabbed in the back by the person who vowed to love, to honor, and to cherish you for a lifetime.
But even when marital unfaithfulness has occurred, there is still hope for a marriage. I’ve seen God heal marriages when unfaithful spouses has repented of their sin and sought forgiveness from their spouse. And together they have reconciled and have moved forward to build a strong, Christ-honoring marriage. It can be done! Marriages ripped apart by immorality can be mended!
Divorce should always be a last resort. But—it is still an option available to the offended party.
Conclusion
So, I do believe that one of the biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage is sexual immorality. You say, “Wait a minute, Doug. You just said, ‘one of the biblical grounds.’ Are there others? Are there other biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage?” Yes, I believe there are. You say, “What are they?” [Look at your watch]
You’ll want to return next Sunday morning when we’ll look at part 2 of “When A Wrecking Ball Hits A Home.”
Let’s pray.
