1 Corinthians 7:6-9
A Second Home
Introduction
A first grade teacher gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb. She then asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Now, keep in mind that these are 6 year-olds who responded.
[Power Point:]
· Better to be safe than...(most of us would say “sorry,” but one of the 1st graders replied:) punch a 5th grader.
· Strike while the... bug is close.
· It’s always darkest before...Daylight Saving Time.
· Never underestimate the power of...termites.
· Don’t bite the hand that...looks dirty.
· You can’t teach an old dog new...math.
· If you lie down with dogs, you’ll...stink in the morning
· An idle mind is...the best way to relax.
· Where there’s smoke there’s...pollution.
· Happy the bride who...gets all the presents.
· A penny saved is...not much.
· Two’s company, three’s...the Musketeers.
· Don’t put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
· Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose.
· There are none so blind as...Stevie Wonder.
· Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.
· You get out of something only what you...see in the picture on the box.
· When the blind leads the blind...get out of the way.
· A miss is as good as a...Mrs.
And Paul would agree with that last statement:
· A Miss is as good as a Mrs.!
You say, “Where does Paul say that, Doug?” In 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Let’s turn there in our Bibles.
In the first six chapters of 1 Corinthians, Paul addresses problems in the church of Corinth that were brought to his attention by the household of Chloe. Then, beginning in chapter 7, Paul begins to answer questions that were sent to him by the church of Corinth. The very first issue that he deals with is the topic of marriage.
Now, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul answers 3 questions that the Corinthians asked him about marriage.
He answers the first question in verses 1-9. And that is the question, “Is marriage the preferred state?”—is it better to be married or to be single?
He answers the second question in verses 10-24. And that is the question, “Is marriage permanent?”—are there certain circumstances or situations in life that may break the marriage bond?
The third question he answers in verses 25-40. And that is the question, “Is marriage paramount?”—is marriage the best thing that could ever happen in life?
We have already considered God’s blueprint for marriage from Genesis 2:24. And we said there were 3 key words in that verse.
The first key word is Leave. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother.” A husband and wife are to leave all other relationships so that their commitment may be fully to one another. [Hold up two ropes—one in each hand.]
The second key word is Cleave. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.” A husband and wife are to be joined together. They are to be cemented, welded, glued, or tied together in their marriage relationship. [Tie one end of the two ropes together.]
The third key word is Weave. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” The husband and wife are to knit their hearts and lives together in oneness and partnership. [Intertwine the ropes together.]
But what happens if the bond of marriage has been broken through death or divorce? [Untie the ropes.] Are those believers required to marry again? Is marriage the preferred state?—is it better to be married or to be single?
Well, Paul answers this in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9. Paul writes, “I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
In these 4 verses, Paul deals with the issue of singleness or celibacy. And he is addressing those who have been previously married, but have lost their spouse through death or divorce. And Paul shares with them 3 spiritual truths regarding celibacy. And each of these truths builds on one another. The first truth is this:
1. CELIBACY IS GOOD
Paul had already made that statement in verse 1: “Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.” And now he says it again in verse 8: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.”
Notice that Paul does not say that celibacy is necessary. Nor does he say that it is better than marriage. He just says that it is good. It is fine. It is okay to remain single.
As a matter of fact, Paul points out in verses 25-31 that there are certain benefits or advantages to remaining single.
So, if you’re single—either because you’re divorced or your spouse has died, don’t let anyone convince you that you have to remarry. You are not a second-class Christian because you choose to remain single. And I trust that those of you here who are unmarried don’t feel as if you are a 5th wheel. I want you to know that we love you and that you are welcome here and that we are glad that you are part of our Shiloh family. You play a tremendous part in our ministry here at this church. Celibacy is good.
The second spiritual truth regarding celibacy builds on the first truth. And it is this:
2. CELIBACY IS A GOOD GIFT
As Paul mentions in verse 7: “I wish that all men were as I am.”—(That is, unmarried.) “But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”
Now, the word “gift” here does not refer to what we commonly call spiritual gifts. A spiritual gift is a God-given ability that each Christian receives at salvation to serve the Lord. And Paul deals with that subject in chapters 12-14.
The word “gift” here in 1 Corinthians 7 is the gift of celibacy—the ability to remain single. And not everyone has that ability. Obviously! And that leads us to another spiritual truth that Paul shares regarding celibacy. This third truth builds on the first and second truth:
3. CELIBACY IS A GOOD GIFT THAT NOT EVERYONE POSSESSES
Look at verse 9: “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Not everyone possesses the gift of celibacy. And that’s okay. Paul says that if you don’t have the gift of celibacy, then it is better for you to marry than to try to remain single and to succumb to sexual temptation.
So, it is okay to marry. And if you do marry, you must marry a Christian. Look at the end of this chapter—in verse 39: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” You should only marry a fellow believer in Christ.
Now, perhaps you’re unmarried. But you want to get married because you know that you don’t have the gift of celibacy. What should you do? Let me offer you 4 suggestions:
· Don’t rush into marriage
Don’t simply seek to get married. Seek a person that you can love and trust and respect. Then let marriage come as a response to that relationship. In Song of Solomon 3:5 we read, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In other words, don’t try to force a relationship—let love develop naturally. People who simply want to get married for the sake of getting married run the risk of marrying the wrong person.
· Develop Christian character
It’s fine to be on the lookout for the “right person.” But the best way to find the right person is to be the right person. So, concentrate on building Christian character in your life. In Galatians 5, Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit as “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Develop these qualities of the fruit of the Spirit in your life.
· Serve the Lord
Instead of sitting around moping and bemoaning the fact that you’re not married, get busy serving the Lord. Get involved in a ministry. Pursue spiritual interests. As Paul says in Romans 12:11: “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”
· Keep pure
Trust the Lord to give you strength to resist immorality. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Now, of course, you have to do your part to remain pure. So, let me encourage you to review and practice those 7 Strategies for Battling Temptation that we covered 3 weeks ago.
Don’t rush into marriage. Develop Christian character. Serve the Lord. Keep pure.
Conclusion
The Olympic games have begun this week in Athens, Greece. I must confess that although I like the summer Olympics, I enjoy the winter Olympics much more. My wife, Barb, especially enjoys watching figure skating.
Now, I know this is going back a few years, but do you remember Tai Babilonia and Randy Gardner? They were partners in couples’ figure skating. They were a fantastic pair! They graced the ice like no others. They skated in perfect sync together as partners.
And yet I think of other skaters who performed wonderfully as solo artists. I think of individual skaters like Scott Hamilton or Sarah Hughes or Michele Kwan.
Couple’s skating or Solo skating—which is better? Well, neither one is better than the other. Each one is good. Each has its own flare, its own purpose, its own uniqueness. And each drew its own audience.
And the same is true when it comes to marriage. The Corinthians asked Paul, “Is marriage the preferred state?” And Paul’s answer is “Yes and No.” “Yes,” if you don’t have the gift of celibacy. And “no,” if you do have the gift of celibacy. It all depends on your giftedness and your calling.
Let’s pray.
Let me give you a moment of silent meditation to examine your life and to talk to the Lord. Perhaps you’re here this morning and you are unmarried—either you’ve been divorced or your spouse has passed away. If God has given you the gift of celibacy, that’s wonderful. Don’t let anyone tell you that you must get married. But if you don’t have the gift of celibacy, then it is fine to marry. But until you do, make a commitment right now not to rush into marriage. But rather to develop Christian character, to serve the Lord, and to keep pure.
If you are here today and you are married, make a commitment right now to reach out to those who are unmarried in our congregation. Perhaps you may want to invite them to your home for a meal or write them a note of encouragement. Just let them know that you appreciate them as fellow members of our Shiloh community.
Take a moment of silent meditation and prayer, and then I’ll pray.
Father, we do thank you for those in our fellowship who are single. We pray that you would give them the guidance to walk with you and the strength to serve you. I pray as well that you would encourage them in the depths of their souls. May they realize what a vital and significant role they play in the body of Christ. We thank you for this and we give you the praise. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
