EXTREME MAKEOVER : DINING ROOM: Parental Responsibility
Ephesians 6:1-4
6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
6:2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),
6:3 SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.
6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
What has gone wrong with America’s Children?
· Did you know that in the US, every 8 seconds of every school day a child drops out of school?
· Every 26 seconds a child runs away from home.
· Every 47 seconds a child is either abused or neglected.
· Every 7 minutes a child is arrested for a drug offense.
· Every 36 minutes a child is either hurt or killed by a gun.
Could it simply be that America’s Parents haven’t read the Bible and haven’t taught their kids to obey & honor?
Our focus this morning is parenting God style
· With all of the books & seminars, packets & pamphlets on raising kids… the Holy Spirit uses just 4 verses to lead us & teach us.
Not a parent?… well you’re still a kid.
· You’re a child of God.
· And as His children, we have the joy of relating to a father that never leaves us, never hurts us, and never gives up on us.
NOW Parents we have an awesome PRIVILEGE…
BILLY GRAHAM who said: Children will invariably talk, eat, walk, think, respond, and act like their parents. Give them a target to shoot at. Give them a goal to work toward. Give them a pattern that they can see clearly, and you give them something that gold and silver cannot buy.
· Into our care are given the moldable, changeable, & unpredictable little persons who grow up so quickly!
YES… there are times, those difficult times when you might want to parent the way Mark Twain suggested:
When a kid turns thirteen, stick him in a barrel, nail the lid on top, and feed him through the knot hole. When he turns sixteen -- plug up the knot hole.
Proverbs 22.6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Q: What voice are you obeying as a parent?
Is it pop psychology?
Is it the latest videotape series?
Is it nothing at all?
Are you flying by in life by the seat of your pants?
· There is a Book out there that will help you parent.
· It’s the all time best seller – God’s Word!
· And I ask you to let the Holy Spirit speak to you this morning, open yourself up His leading and prompting…
What have we abandoned in the raising of our families that we should reconsider:
1. Children obey your parents. (v 6:1)
You might be thinking, is he preaching to the kids or parents today. Well, a lot of our problem is that our children are not learning how to be Godly children from us parents.
a. Would our families and our world be different if obedience and honor were introduced back into them?
The Greek Word “OBEY” is an interesting one…
· It carries the idea of a soldier ready to engage in battle…
· He’s listening carefully for the orders and instructions of his commanding officer. -- It’s a word of action
NOW NOTICE, Paul is not addressing the PARENTS here…
· He doesn’t say, “Hey, you parents, have your kids obey.”
· Instead he speaks directly to the children…
· But it’s not to just children who are young and dependent.
· The word Paul uses here ‘teknia’ doesn’t mean little ones, but refers to any person living under the roof of a parent’s home.
Whether you are 9 or 19, 3 or 23, if you live under your parent’s roof, then you are a ‘teknia’.
· If you eat their food, use their bathroom, then this is the Word of God for you. OBEY your mom and dad.
So, as a parent, what am I supposed to take from this, obviously, he is speaking to the child:
In this we see a picture of us as children relating to OUR Heavenly Father… God is a Father and we are submitted to Him.
ÿ · If your kids are to obey you… then I have to ask…
ÿ · Are you obeying your Father?
ÿ · In order to see our kids obey, they must see us obey.
ÿ Do our children see us obeying our father?
We have abandoned the expectation of obedience and we must ask ourselves why so many children are disobedient, could it be that they are not getting a good example of obedience from their parents or that we as parents no longer require obedience?
This sounds almost too simple, too easy, too simplistic.
· Yet our homes become so spiritually powerful when wives submit to their husbands & husbands love their wives and children obey their parents…
· There’s success, peace, and a powerful witness.
I like how he ends v1. For this is right.
Obedience in the home is proper, it’s good, it’s wholesome, it’s right!
· Respect & Obedience are the bedrocks of any home, any society, any relationship.
· So…. what’s not right?
Rebellion. Absentee parents. Homes that are run by the kids.
ONE area that I’m concerned with over the past few years is a wave of kids, mainly teenagers, refusing to come to church.
· Oh, I don’t like the youth group.
· I don’t want to listen to the sermon. It’s BORING!
· I don’t like this church or that church or on and on the list goes.
· SO Mom & dad walk out the door and son/daughter stay home.
· They flip on the TV and catch the latest MTV videos, or they flip on the computer and surf the net… or whatever…
· BUT THEY AREN’T BEING SPIRITUALLY NOURISHED.
I truly believe in these last days that our teenagers are being ripped away, right from under our noses!
· Our kids can slip away so quickly…
· 66% of our teenagers spend less than 30 minutes a week talking to their parents about what is most important to them.
Underage alcohol use accounts for ¼ of all alcohol consumed in USA.
1 of every 4 beers is consumed by someone under 18!
· The fastest growing population of American people infected with AIDS are teenagers and young adults!
· Why? Because they don’t listen to mom and dad!
· They’re listening to MTV, or to their sociology teacher, or their friends, or the latest magazine…
· Our young people are ruining their lives because they are not LISTENING to MOM & DAD!
Moms… Dads… Bring your kids to church. Under your roof, church isn’t optional for you… (at least I hope it isn’t) It shouldn’t be optional for them. Toe stepping time:
An area that really concerns me is parents giving up church on Sundays for sports & other activities for their kids.
Do our kids see that God is our priority? It’s that example thing again.
Teach them to put God first while they are young.
· Our kids’ sports programs, our kids’ extracurricular activities… those things should bow to the Kingdom of God, not the other way around
· They DO NOT & CAN NOT take priority over our worship of God.
Matt. 6.31-32 "Therefore do not worry, saying, ’What shall we eat?’ or ’What shall we drink?’ or ’What shall we wear?’ 32 "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
· There’s the whisper of the devil… oh you can miss a Sunday, you can skip that message, and you can skate by without the Word!
Luke 4.4 But Jesus answered him, saying, "It is written, ’Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.’ "
2. Honor your father and mother (vs. 6:2-3)
Honor your father and mother… WHY?
Because there is a PROMISE ATTACHED.
The word ‘honor’ literally means to ‘give value’.
· Honor, value, cherish your parents.
· They are God’s gift to children to lead, guide, and instruct.
AND SO as children obey their parents, value & honor their parents, there are blessings. -- Paul writes, “It will be well with you.”
What does it mean in v3 that you may live long on the earth?
· In those days, the rabbis taught that it referred to a QUALITY of life and not a QUANTITY.
· There will be fullness, an excellence to life.
Honor should extend to all adults and authorities and through our example, our children can learn to honor.
And now, a word to dads
3. Scripture says, “Fathers” don’t provoke your children.
b. Some say this is referring to both parents and it can.
But here in context, I see it referenced directly to fathers.
Earlier he addressed wives directly, husbands directly, children directly, and now FATHERS.
There are a lot of ways to provoke your children to wrath.
Here are at least 10 ways a father can provoke his kids…
#1 Smother them. Never giving them a chance to take chances.
#2 Favoritism. Favoring one kid over the other.
#3 – Comparing your kids with one another.
#4 – Pushing their achievement beyond reasonable bounds.
#5 – Discourageing them.
#6 – Failing to make the child feel wanted. Always treating them like they are intruding on your life.
#7 – Using love as a tool for reward and punishment.
#8 – Failing to let them grow up in a normal life.
#9 – Physical and verbal abuse.
#10 – Teasing and taunting them.
We only get kids for a short time & once it’s over… it’s over.
There is a legend of a medieval sidewalk superintendent who asked three stone masons on a construction project what they were doing. The first replied that he was laying bricks. The second described his work as that of building a wall. But it was the third laborer who demonstrated genuine esteem for his work when he said, "I am raising a great cathedral."
Pose that same question to any two fathers concerning their role in the family, and you are liable to get the same kind of contrast. The first may say, "I am supporting a family." But the second may see things differently and say, "I am raising children." The former looks at his job as putting bread on the table. But the latter sees things in God’s perspective: he is participating in the shaping of lives.
SO Paul ends this section with a positive command…
Instead of provoking them… NURTURE them dads.
· You might be surprised at the root of that word
· It literally means to discipline them.
· It’s the same word found in Hebrews 12:6
Hebrews 12.6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives."
4. there is discipline & instruction needed in the home…
· Correction, reproof, and encouragement are all involved and on occasion a spanking or two on the rear end of those kids.
· Dads… you’re the chief discipliner… or a better way of putting it is that you are discipling your kids in the ways of Jesus.
What’s awesome is that we have the PERFECT example.
· We have a Father that is selfless & sacrificial.
· He gave His very best so that we can be our very best.
· He nurtures us, instructs us, teaches and disciplines us.
· He never gives up on us and is always encouraging us to higher levels of love and grace.
· He is faithful, reliable, dependable, and consistent.
And hey dads… and moms. We blow it in the home. We make mistakes, we say the wrong words and do the wrong things.
· But God is ready to forgive. He ready to help & support you.
· Go home today and humble yourself before your kids and ask for forgiveness… hug them, love them, and affirm them in Jesus.
Let’s consider our homes and our family relationships and see if we need a makeover.
You may or you may not, but ask God what He thinks
