“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
There was a time when a preacher or teacher, when addressing the topic of sexuality, had to speak with great delicacy. The subject was not deemed fit to speak about in public, especially from God’s holy pulpit, except in the most discreet manner.
Indeed, when I began to preach - some twenty-four years ago - I was a little bashful about discussing the subject of sex and immorality and teaching what God says about it. I spoke about it in vague terms.
Times have changed. Today, the topic of sex is nearly as openly discussed in public conversation as the weather. You can’t turn on the radio, television or see a motion picture without be bombarded with explicit sexuality. You can’t pick-up a magazine, newspaper or drive down the road without seeing advertisements that use sexually titillating graphics to sell all sorts of products.
What this means is that, today, the average 9 or 10-year-old knows more about the ‘facts of life’ than they do about reading, writing and arithmetic. Most tragic is the fact that the young people are learning about sex without any moral and spiritual context.
It is time for, not only parents but the Church to meet the present challenge and to begin discussing sexuality and immorality openly and boldly. Its time that we clearly proclaim what God has to say about it. This morning, we are going to just that.
Almost every book of the New Testament talks about sex. The references mostly warn against immorality. The reason for this is that the moral environment of the 1st Century was just as bad and, though hard to believe, probably worse than it is in our generation. The apostles lived in a time when chastity and sexual purity were unknown virtues. Immorality was almost universal; as it was practiced without shame or disgrace. Their pagan gods, their emperors, their philosophers, and their great men and women in general, gave them examples of every species of sexual impurity. Fornication, adultery, prostitution and homosexuality was not only condoned but even encouraged by most of the religions of the time.
Even though immorality was thought to be normal or good by most of society, the Christian religion not only discouraged these things but forbid them. Therefore, if the Christian maintained sexual purity, they really stood out. You can read 1st and 2nd Century writings where non-Christians ridiculed and blasted Christianity and its followers for promoting sexual purity. As Peter said to the brethren, in 1 Peter 4:4-5, “they (the non-Christians) are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excess of dissipation, and they malign you; but they shall give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.”
Today, the Christian who obeys God rather than goes along with the prevailing worldly culture on the matter of sexuality will stand-out, too. For, fornication and adultery is being practiced in our world at epidemic levels.
1. Fornication.
Fornication is a term we use to describe unmarried people having sex. Teenage sexual activity is an issue of widespread national concern. However, with people increasingly postponing getting married until they are older (In 2000, the median age for a first marriage was 25 for women and 27 for men), the problem of fornication now extends well into adulthood.
Every study shows that nearly half of American teenagers of high-school age are or have been sexually active.
Many of the problems associated with teen sexual activity are well-known. Even though our public schools preach so-called “safe sex” -
Overall, roughly one-quarter of the nation’s sexually active teens have been infected by a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Every day, 8,000 teenagers in the United States become infected.
Each year, almost 1 million teenage women become pregnant. That means close to 2800 teens get pregnant each day.
Nearly 4 in 10 teen pregnancies (i.e., 400 thousand babies) are terminated by an abortion each year.
Each year 250,000 children are born to girls aged 18 or younger. Nearly all these teenage mothers are unmarried. That translates to one out-of-wedlock birth every 35 seconds.
Today, if you protect yourself from disease and pregnancy, they say that is “safe sex.” (Of course, there is not a single fool-proof method that protects one completely from disease and pregnancy other than abtinence.) What is not revealed by those who preach the virtues of “safe sex” is that several studies show a link between psychological and emotional problems and teenage sexual activity. Findings show that when compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed. When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly more likely to attempt suicide. Thus, early sexual activity is a substantial factor in undermining the emotional well-being of American teenagers.
This should not surprise us. Sex is not merely a bodily act. It involves our emotions and psyche. It involves our inner-most being. When confined to the boundaries of marriage, sex not only satisfies bodily desires it provides psychological and emotional well-being. It is fulfilling physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually when practiced in the intimate bond of marriage. Outside of God’s boundaries, it fails to fulfill its intended purposes and is likely to be destructive physically, emotionally, psychologically and unquestionably spiritually.
As we stated a few moments ago, fornication is not limited to our teenage population. According to the 2000 Census, there are currently about 11 million adults living together though they are unmarried. That represents a 72% increase in the number of unmarried couples living together between 1990 and 2000.
60% of Americans believe that co-habitation (living together though not married) is morally acceptable. One of the reasons given to justify co-habitation is the idea that it is good to live with someone awhile to see if the relationship is workable. However, this idea is totally without foundation. Couples who live together and then decide to get married have TWICE the divorce rate of those who have not lived together before marriage.
Paul admonishes us in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “flee fornication.” Literally, he is saying ‘run away’ from sex before marriage. Avoid at all costs.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
Ephesians 5:5-6, “For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.”
2. Adultery.
Our society not only has a problem with sex before marriage but also with having sex with others beside their spouse after marriage. Various surveys over many decades average out to say that about 50% of all men will commit adultery at some point and about 25-30% of all women. Of course, we understand that these surveys define adultery more narrowly than God does. These surveys define adultery as having “an affair” and “cheating” on your spouse.
Sadly, 42% of Americans believe that committing this form of adultery is justifiable in certain situations.
What society may justify, God does not. God expects individuals to remain faithful to their spouses - period. Sexuality is to increase the intimacy of the marriage bond. It is one way in which two spouses become “one flesh”. For this reason, we ought to regard our bodies as belonging to our spouses.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4, “ Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
Thus, when a married person gives themselves to another person, they our giving something away that belongs to their spouse. To commit adultery is to take what is not yours and give it to another. It is stealing from your spouse that which is rightfully theirs.
With this in mind, we must understand that if we are single and we involve ourselves in a sexual relationship with a person who is married, you are guilty of sinning against that person’s spouse and God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.”
While 42% of Americans may approve of ‘having an affair’ or ’cheating’ on your spouse, the vast majority of Americans give their consent to another form of adultery - remarrying after a divorce. Our society does not consider a second marriage as committing adultery but God does.
Mark 10:11-12, “And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."
We must remember that whereas our society takes the position that a marriage ends when a divorce is granted, God takes the position that a marriage only ends when one of the spouses dies. (Mark 10:6-9; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11; Romans 7:2-3). God does not recognize a divorce decree or certificate. When God joins two people together in marriage, He joins them for life.
To divorce your spouse and remarry someone else is adultery. To have a relationship with someone who is divorced is adultery. Of this fact, the Word of God is explicitly clear.
The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. Currently, there are 1.2 million divorces each year. Half of those who get divorced from a first marriage remarry within three years. Eventually, most who get divorces remarry.
Researcher George Barna has found that those who claim to be evangelical Christians are just as likely to get divorced as non-believing adults. Overall, 33% of all who claim to be committed Christians and have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among unbelieving adults. More than 90% of the evangelical Christian adults who have been divorced experienced that divorce after they made their commitment to Christ, not before.
I anguish over the realization that many who have divorced and remarried, yet think themselves right before God, are going to be shocked and horrified to find themselves sentenced to eternal punishment as adulterers. Luke 16:18, "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, “Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
Many think that the God of the Bible has a negative view of human sexuality; however, that is untrue. God created us as sexual beings, “man and woman made He them.” The Bible acknowledges the incredible power of sexuality. It is to draw a man and woman into a beautiful bond of intimacy. God blesses our sexuality. It is God’s gift of intimacy for us. But with one crucial qualification: It is only to be enjoyed between a man and woman who have made an exclusive covenant commitment in marriage to one another for a lifetime.
But as so often happens to what God has created for good, our sinfulness has distorted the purpose and beauty of human sexuality. Its misuse outside those God ordained boundaries can lead to scars and wounds that run deep and can damage not just the body but also the innermost being a person. Therefore, it is a part of our lives to be guarded and protected.
Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
