Learning How to be Truthful Without Being Harsh
John 1:14,15 - For the law was given through Moses but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
Learning how to balance the Bible’s emphasis of truth and grace is a continual struggle for most people working with legalists. There is such a thing as a healthy fear of God. Learning how to love, reverence and trust the Lord involves holding God in holy veneration. When we properly fear God, He becomes our sufficiency.
Illustration: There is a big temptation in Nigeria to smuggle gasoline to the surrounding countries where it is sold for an equivalent of $4.00 per gallon. In Nigeria, gasoline is sold for around $.50 a gallon. Several years ago, I remember reading about some gasoline smugglers who used their donkeys for carrying gallons of jerry tins over the mountain borders from Nigeria to Cameroon. However, one evening, a clever border custom official waited for the petrol smuggling donkey team along a deserted road. As the donkeys passed, with their jerry tins of fuel strapped to their backs, the smugglers spotted the border officials and ran away, leaving their donkeys to the custom officials.
The next day, the customs officer read a verse from Isaiah 1:3 that said, "The ox knows his master, the donkey his owner’s manger, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand." That official got a brainstorm. He decided not to feed the donkeys for two days. When he released the donkeys he secretly followed them back to their owner’s hideout. Very soon, the smugglers returned to claim their donkeys and they were arrested for attempting to smuggle gasoline out of the country without a permit. The donkeys taught everyone to be truthful without appearing to be harsh.
When we walk in faith, we must also walk in the fear of God. Do not be deceived into thinking that little sins will not affect us. All sins have a way of finding us out. Sin leads to a death of a desire to love, serve, and do all of God’s will. The fear of God keeps us from little sins as well as the sins of omission. We will have to give account some day for every idle word, thought and action. Let a healthy fear of God keep you from straying. When we fear the Lord we will have no great needs. The young lions lack and suffer hunger, but they who fear the Lord will lack no good thing. Understanding God’s grace enhances a healthy fear of God.
The following list may give you some helpful tips in balancing out the ultra-conservatives’ tendency to give more weight to the law over the grace of our Lord.
HOW TO APPROPRIATE GOD’S Truth Without Being Harsh but Full of GRACE
1. Most people want to be treated in a kind, gracious and respectful way. When one learns how to appropriate the grace of God, interpersonal relationships are developed in a genuine spirit of love. Without a proper appropriation of God’s grace to our communications, our maturity will be impeded. Paul, the apostle, once said, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." (I Corinthians 13:11) Live life to your full potential by realizing that we, who are in Christ, are no longer under the
law, but grace. Exercise your freedoms for good.
2. Without grace operating in our lives we can become rigid. When we remove freedom to explore and space to be creative we tend to snuff enthusiasm out of any fellowship. It is tough to deal with people who are rigid and inflexible. These people like to control, restrict, and reduce the lives of free Christians. We feel nervous in expressing ourselves around people who are rigid. We hold back spontaneous feelings for fear that they may be misinterpreted. We may survive as a fellowship, but we will never realize our God given potentials. In an atmosphere of rigidity few people are willing to take any risks for fear of censorship. A rigid group is an example of one that has put law before love. Christ’s love is willing to let go of its own ways, it releases people to be who they will to be. The closer one gets to a rigid person the more one feels like suffocating. Do not let anyone subject you to human validations. Do not let others squeeze you into their mold. Do not let people insist that you act, talk, and think like them in order to gain their acceptance. God gave us a perfect example of grace through one that accepts us just as we are. Our adequacy comes from His grace. He wants us to develop in the fullness of His graciousness. Rigidity puts your gracious thinking to death.
The following are truths and principles will which help to guide you to more fully appropriate the grace of God in your personal life, your interpersonal relationships, and your organizational interactions: Grace is an expression of God’s favor given to us freely at Christ’s expense. Nothing we do will make God love us any more. Likewise, there is nothing we can do to make God love us less.
3. The root word for grace in the Greek is charis. This verb means, "I will rejoice and be glad." When many people think of Christians they think of sullen people who are enduring their hardships grudgingly, but not out of a joy of the Lord as their strength. (Nehemiah 8:10) It is unfortunate that many people see the reactionary religious right representative of the church. Church is seen as a gloom and doom association. They are turned off by the emphasis on the negatives of society’s declining morality. Instead, most people are looking for hope rather than judgment. Encouragement is like premium gasoline. It helps to take the knock out of living. Really, the best thing to do behind a person’s back is pat it. A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results! The world is looking for friends who will strengthen them with prayers, bless them with love, and encourage them with hope!
4. When we say grace at meal times we acknowledge that our provisions are gifts from God. When we are grateful to someone we are expressing graciousness in our attitudes. Perhaps, the greatest lesson we learn from past civilizations is ingratitude. If one cannot be grateful for what we have received, be thankful for what we have escaped from. All of us can be grateful that only God and you have all the facts. God’s mercies are infinite. Happiness comes when we stop wailing about the troubles we have and offer thanks for all the troubles we do not have. Gratitude to God should come as regular as our heartbeat. The person that is not grateful for the good things they have will not be happy with what they wish they had.
5. When we congratulate someone for something well done, we are expressing a grace by acknowledging someone’s accomplishments, efforts, or good intentions. One of the best ways to appreciate others is to imagine what it would be like without their goodness. Some of us need to appreciate what we have before it is taken away. Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have. When we are pleased with someone’s service we should offer a gratuity in appreciation. Gratuities can be in cash, in kind, or in a note that allows people to take something with them as a cherished memory. When we are gracious in hosting people and listening to their problems we are expressing grace. You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. Many opportunities are missed because we are broadcasting when we should be listening. The Golden Rule of friendship is to listen as you would liked to be listened to. If you are not a charming conversationalist, you may still be a big hit as a listener.
6. When we forgive someone who has intentionally or unintentionally hurt us, we are showing the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though He was rich, He became poor, that we through His poverty might become rich. Try reflecting the attributes of His forgiveness, mercy, and kindness. When we add grace notes to a musical score we are enriching a piece by adding spice to its life. In the same way, adding words of kindness, compliments, or notes of encouragement give a spark to people that otherwise would be sorely missed. Truth does not need to be trumpeted so much as it needs relevant renditions applied to each person’s problem.
7. When we give away complimentary copies of our books, resources, or love, we are gracing a person with the overflow of goodness from our lives. Freely, we have received - freely we should give.
8. When we give people extra time to complete an assignment or overlook another’s faults we are offering them a grace period. By expressing patience, tolerance, and temperance, we are expressing the grace of God that He has so generously shown to us. Patience, forbearance and understanding are companions to contentment.
9. When we help alleviate another person’s pain we are expressing the grace that heals wounded hearts. Patience is when you listen silently to someone give details about the same operation you just had.
10. When we help people overcome disgrace or shame we are applying the grace that covers all our sins. Love overlooks a fault.
11. When we express worship, praise, and honor to the Lord we are helping others by showing them how to overcome the stigma of being an ingrate. People should find that our worship is of such character that it will be easy to forget our human factors, but difficult to forget our God. Heaven will be like that.
12. When we show people their worth, value, and importance by believing in them, we show grace. We validate people by assisting them in the ministry of building the kingdom of God and His righteousness. After this kind of affirmation, few persons will label us persona non-grata - someone not welcomed.
13. Recount the miracles that God has performed over the years with people like John Newton. A former slave owner, Newton became a Christian, and later wrote the compelling hymn, "Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind but now I see." By contemplating where God has helped us escape evil, we show grace. This way we will never fall short of the grace of God through unbelief or mistaken beliefs.
14. When we deliver the gospel of God’s grace in words and deeds as well as in grace and truth, we show grace. By presenting the gospel in such a balanced way that people will come to know the whole gospel, we show grace. Two half-truths do not necessarily constitute the whole truth.
15. When we recognize that we are living in the "Age of Grace" and no longer under the law, we show grace. Approach the throne of grace consistently and confidently to find grace in the time of your need. Learn to use a list of specific requests to pray for our families, our bosses, our colleagues, companions, as well as the lost that still need to find forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
16. When we give graciously and not under compulsion, we show grace. When we exhibit grace in overlooking another’s fault, we show grace. Jesus said, "Before you look at the speck in your brother’s eye first remove the log out of your own eye."
17. When we speak graciously it indicates a humility that recognizes everything we have comes from the Lord. Gracious speech is filled with seasoning that preserves moral values. No one is too big to be kind, but many people are too little to do so.
I credit Phillip Yancey’s book on Grace for many of the above points.
