HOPE IN THE MIDST OF DESPAIR!
--a funeral sermon for a young suicide victim
Romans 8:32, II Corinthians 6:2, II Corinthians 12:9, Romans 10:13, Genesis 18:25, Matthew 7:1-2, I Samuel 16:7
--by R. David Reynolds
It is my understanding that every seventeen minutes a self inflicted death occurs in the United States. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in North America for young adults between the ages of 15 and 25. What a tragedy. The loss of a loved one, especially when it is unexpected under such circumstances, is never easy. I am glad I knew Jacob. I liked Jacob from the first time I met him. The deepest desire of my heart today would be to turn back the clock so that we do not have to be gathered here under these circumstances to say our last good-byes to Jacob. Knowing that is not possible, my heart’s desire is to speak words of grace and comfort to you his family and friends.
There is a great verse of Scripture found in Romans 8:32. Paul asks the question, “What can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus?” He then compiles a long list of human fears that we might be tempted to think can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Included in that list is “life and death.” One conclusion Paul reaches is this: “Neither life nor death can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.”
This is the promise of God that I want each one of you to claim today as we commit John’s remains to their final resting place. Even in this tragic death of such a young man we can be certain that “neither life nor death can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” God said it, in His Word, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” I believe what God said in my heart, so that settles all doubts forever.
But how can we have hope when a death is self inflicted? Friends, the Bible never condemns suicide. It doesn’t encourage it, but as far as I can tell, it doesn’t condemn it either. The term suicide is never found in either the Old or the New Testament. We are told that only six people died at their own hand in Scripture. Included in this list are: Samson, King Saul, Abimelech, Ahitophel, Zimri, and Judas. We are only told that they caused their own deaths. No judgmental statement is made in any of the six cases concerning the victim’s decision to bring their life to an end. Jewish Rabbis and Christian teachers down through the ages are the ones responsible for leading so many Christians to come to the hasty conclusion that somehow death by suicide is a sin for which there can be no forgiveness.
I don’t buy such teaching. I think it has unjustly brought many wives, husbands, children, and parents whose loved ones have chosen to take their own lives countless years of despair, pain, torment, and agony. Our God is a God of grace, and I fail to see any grace in such an unjust, erroneous, thoughtless teaching.
Another favorite promise of mine that I want you as Jacob’s family to stand upon for this hour and for the rest of your lives in found in II Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” If your Bible happens to be a red letter edition, these words are in red, for they are words that Jesus spoke directly to the Apostle Paul when he had to cope with his “thorn in the flesh.” I say to you today, God’s grace is sufficient for you to sustain, keep, and comfort you even in this horrible situation we all would rather not have happened. God’s grace is all you need; God’s grace will see you through and bring you peace and healing.
Don’t reject God’s grace in Jesus Christ today. Don’t lash out at God and ask the unending, “Why?” for which we most likely will never find an answer in this life. Jesus Christ understands your hurt, your pain, your anger, your sorrow, more than anyone else at all ever can. Isaiah testifies in Isaiah 53:4 that when Jesus died on the cross “He bore our grieves and carried our sorrows.” Jesus Christ understands your grief and pain this morning, because He carried it all with Him on the cross for you. Therefore, “His grace is sufficient for you, for His strength is made perfect in your weakness—in your hurt, your grief, your pain, your loss. The worst thing anyone could possibly do at this time is turn away from Jesus, for only His grace and love will keep you going. Don’t reject His grace and love.
Where is Jacob right now? That is the question his Mother Paula wanted me to answer on Saturday. I wish I could have told her without any doubt that Jacob was with Jesus in heaven, but I would not be true to God’s word by going that far. The Bible says in II Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time, behold now is the day of salvation.” You see, the time to turn to Jesus and receive Him as your personal Saviour and Lord is in this life.
I know Jacob was very open to Jesus, but I can not say for certain that He had accepted Him as his personal Saviour and Lord. It is my deepest hope and prayer that he did just tha. The Bible assures us in Romans 10:13, “for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” If John called out to Jesus in a simple, “Lord, save me,” he is with Jesus in heaven. Cling to that hope, and if you haven’t accepted Jesus as your own personal Saviour and Lord, do it in your own heart this very moment, and “He will save you now.”
I don’t know for certain that he made that commitment, but I certainly hope he did, and I am going to cling to that hope. If Jacob asked Jesus to come into his heart and be his Lord and Saviour, John is in the presence of Jesus for all eternity. I do know this without any doubt, only God has the right to pass judgment on John or on anyone of us. He is the “Judge of all the earth” and Abraham so beautifully reminds us in Genesis 18:25, “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” My brothers and sisters, this is a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious: “Yes, the Judge of all the earth will do right.” The judge of all the earth will do right by Jacob and right by every one of us as well when it comes to where each of us will spend eternity.
Only God has the right to be Judge of all the earth to pass judgment upon John or any of His creation. We have absolutely no right at all to pass judgment upon anyone, as Jesus says in Matthew 7:1-2, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” We have absolutely no right to judge anyone at all; only God has that authority.
Judgment is entirely His prerogative and His alone. Why? Because only God can see what is in the human heart. We judge by outward appearances. God knows our every thought, feeling, and motive in both our minds and our hearts. The Lord Himself speaks to His prophet Samuel in as Scripture I Samuel 16:7 and boldly proclaims, “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” We can not know a person’s heart, and we never have a right to pass judgment.
We can not know anyone’s heart including John’s, but God does. God and God alone knows John’s motives; intentions of his heart and mind; the feelings of despair, depress, hopelessness that he may have been enduring in his heart. God and God alone truly knows the hurt and emotional pain he suffered. God understands where we can only question.
It is especially tragic will one dies at their own hand. Church tradition, not the Holy Scriptures, have programmed us into believing this as always being a sin. Is that true? I can not believe it is, for Scripture is basically silent on the subject. I do know that we have a loving, gracious, kind Saviour in Jesus Christ, and that he alone knows and sees what is in all our hearts and the emotional pain and suffering of our minds.
Scripture constantly affirms that Jesus died to save us from all our sin, not just some of them, not just the little ones, but all of them. There is only one unpardonable sin, and that is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. As I understand the Scriptures blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is one’s refusal to accept Jesus as their personal Saviour. Jesus says in Mark 3:28-30, “‘Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin.’—for they had said, ‘He has an unclean spirit.’” Death, by whatever means it occurs, is not an unpardonable sin. The only sin that can never be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
I want to share my personal conviction before I close this message. I declare to you today that “life is always worth living.” I could never take my own life nor encourage anyone to do so under any circumstances. No matter how tough life may become, I know Jesus “will never leave me nor forsake me” (Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). No matter how painful and hard life may seem, Jesus will send the Holy Spirit to support us as personally we stand on the promise of Isaiah 43:2,
“When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you,
and when you pass through the rives,
They will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be burned;
The flames will not set you ablaze.”
Before Moses ended his farewell address to Israel, he calls on the people in Deuteronomy 31:19-20 to “choose life.” Here is the invitation he gave them and that he gives to us today: “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. NOW CHOOSE LIFE, SO THAT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN MAY LIVE and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For THE LORD IS YOUR LIFE, AND He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” My brothers and sisters, “choose life” today. Life is good and worth living; life in Jesus can not be beat and lasts forever.
Life is good and worth living, but life so often can be exceptionally hard and very cruel. We all respond to life’s stresses differently. Some of us can better cope with stress, pressure, and circumstances. God knows that for each individual and God alone understands each individual heart. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit is a God of grace. We can commit the spirit of Jacob into the hands of our loving God of grace who is the only rightful Judge of all the earth with confidence, hope, peace, and assurance that indeed Jesus Christ, the Judge of all the earth “will do right.” Let us pray.
