INTRO.- Quips and quotes.
- We could learn a lot from crayons ... some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors ... but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
- I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
- It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
- The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain
- Humor is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles.
- The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain
- If you’re not lighting any candles, don’t complain about the dark.
- My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it is gone!
- You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
- God heals, and the doctors take the fee. Ben Franklin
- Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time; for that’s the stuff life is made of. Ben Franklin
- There never was a good war or a bad peace. Ben Franklin
- Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln
- If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. Milton Berle
- We all love a good loser – if it isn’t us.
- Sometimes a smile happens in a flash, but the memory of it often lasts forever.
- Don’t forget that appreciation is always appreciated.
- Air travel is wonderful. It lets you pass motorists at a safe distance.
- The average shopping cart will hold one kid and a week’s wages.
- Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life.
- Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
- Life is uncertain - eat dessert first!
- Man cannot live by chocolate alone - but woman can!
- People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
- Insanity is heredity (or hereditary) — you get it from your kids.
- The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
1- Pleasantness – 16:21, 24
2- Perversity – 16:28
3- Patience – 16:32
I. PLEASANTNESS
16:21 “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”
Wise people are discerning. They think before they do and definitely think before they speak. The wise person speaks pleasant words that promote instruction.
I think pleasant words promote instruction more than unpleasant words.
ILL.- I remember attending a revival one time, probably 34-35 years ago, somewhere around 1970. The preacher preached in a machine gun fashion, as fast and as hard as he could. By the time he was finished with his sermon I was worn out and I vowed I was not going back another night. Fortunately for me, it was not my church that was having the revival, otherwise I would have had to attend whether I wanted to or not.
I doubt seriously that preacher made many friends and influenced many people. Bless his heart, he may have meant well and had good things to say, but I couldn’t tell you a word he said. HIS PREACHING MODE OR DELIVERY WAS SO HARD OR HARSH THAT IT TURNED ME OFF.
I’ve always heard it said that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. And, of course, there is the other side of the coin and that is, we certainly don’t want to sugar coat the gospel or water it down.
I think we preachers must speak the truth, but we must also speak the truth in love and in a way that promotes hearing, instruction and surrender.
I have heard that people today don’t want to be preached “down to” like some preachers of old used to do. People want to be helped, not told off. They don’t want to hear all bad news. They want to hear some good news that will help them in life.
The delivery of a sermon can make a difference. If a preacher comes across as being harsh and uncaring, he will not be nearly as effective as one who gives the impression that he loves his people and cares about their hurts.
How we speak to one another makes a difference as well. If a person speaks to others in a negative or nasty tone, or in a demeaning way, they can turn people off in a hurry. However, if we speak words that encourage, compliment and build people we will have a better chance of drawing them to Christ.
ILL.- For example, I remember having a preacher for a revival meeting in a church many years ago. We called on people during the daytime with the idea of encouraging them to make decisions for Christ. I let the evangelist do most of the talking, which was sometimes a mistake. One particular case the preacher/evangelist literally told a man that he was going to hell. That man certainly did not attend our revival meeting. And I think that preacher used the wrong approach entirely.
Pleasant words promote instruction. Damning or condemning words promote little instruction at all.
Eph. 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Rom. 14:19 “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
The name of the game is building. We are here to build up people, not tear them down…to encourage them in the faith, not discourage them.
ILL.- CONSTRUCTION – DESTRUCTION
I saw them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town;
With a “ho-heave-ho” and a lusty yell,
They swung a beam and the sidewall fell.
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
As the men you would hire if you had to build?”
He laughed and said, “No, indeed;
Just common labor is all I need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken a year to do.”
16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
ILL.- Pianist Arthur Rubenstein, who knew eight languages, once told this story on himself: Some years ago he was assailed by a stubborn case of hoarseness. The newspapers were full of reports about smoking and cancer; so he decided to consult a throat specialist. "I searched his face for a clue during the 30 minute examination."
Rubenstein said, "but it was expressionless. He told me to come back the next day. I went home full of fears, and I didn’t sleep that night." The next day there was another long examination and again a gloomy silence. "Tell me," the pianist exclaimed. "I can stand the truth. I’ve lived a full, rich life. What’s wrong with me?" The physician said, "You talk too much."
Talking too much can cause hoarseness in the voice, but it can also cause a hoarseness, a roughness, even a separation in relationships with other people.
Prov. 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent…”
When words are many, pleasant words are generally absent. When we just talk and talk, we don’t think. And when we don’t think about our words, they are generally more meaningless.
May God help us all to think before we speak and to strive to speak words that bless and heal and build people up.
II. PERVERSITY
16:28 “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
ILL.- Two elderly women boarded a jet plane. On the plane, one said to the other, “Do you know this plane travels faster than sound?” The other was quite alarmed about this and when they were settled she said to the captain: “I beg your pardon, sir, but does this plane travel faster than sound?” Proudly he said, “Yes, ma’am, we fly faster than sound.” “Well,” replied the lady, “please slow it down a little, for my friend and I want to talk.”
I don’t think most of us have any trouble talking no matter where we are. Our problem is not talking, it’s knowing when to keep quiet.
ILL.- A lady once made a complaint to Frederick the Great, King of Russia: “Your Majesty,” she said, “my husband treats me badly.” “That is not my business,” replied the king. “But he speaks ill of you.” “That,” he replied, “is none of your business.”
Some things in life are none of our business, but some people try to make everything their business. A gossip is a perverse person because of the stories they spread, true or not. They damage the reputation of people by spreading stories about them.
ILL.- A 27-year-old reporter said one time he was looking for news in the U.S. secretary of state’s trash.
“We’ve run into a couple of interesting things so far,” said Jay Gurley, who collected five bags of Henry A. Kissinger’s trash and was going through the debris. Gurley said that he worked for the National Enquirer. DO YOU READ THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER?
They say that ENQUIRING MINDS want to know, but the problem is that it doesn’t stop with their minds. It often ends up in their mouths.
The perverse person in our text causes dissension and disagreement among people because of the gossip he spreads.
ILL.- Ben Franklin said, “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." Isn’t that the truth? If some news is juicy enough about someone else, we can’t help but talk about it to others.
In fact, I think some people think it is their God ordained mission in life to spread news about others, good, bad or otherwise!
ILL.- If you are tempted to reveal
A tale to you someone has told
About another, make it pass,
Before you speak, three gates of gold.
These narrow gates; First, IS IT TRUE?
Then, IS IT NEEDFUL? In your mind
Give truthful answer. And the next
Is last and narrowest, IS IT KIND?
And if to reach your lips at last
It passes through these gateways three,
Then you may tell the tale, nor fear
What the result of speech may be.
ILL.- One man had told so many malicious untruths about the local rabbi that, overcome by remorse, he begged the rabbi to forgive him. "And, Rabbi, tell me how I can make amends." The rabbi sighed, "Take two pillows, go to the public square and there cut the pillows open. Wave them in the air. Then come back."
The man quickly went home, got two pillows and a knife, hastened to the square, cut the pillows open, waved them in the air and hastened back to the rabbi. "I did just what you said, Rabbi!" "Good." The rabbi smiled. "Now, to realize how much harm is done by gossip, go back to the square..." "And what?" "And collect all your feathers."
Obviously, once gossip is spread it cannot be taken back.
ILL.- During the administration of Lincoln, a delegation from a western state called upon him with a written protest against a certain appointment. In particular the paper had a list of specific objections against a Senator Baker, a long-time and beloved friend of the president. The objections were definite reflections on Baker’s character.
Holding the paper in his hand, Lincoln asked with calm dignity: “This is my paper which you have given me?” When they assured him that it was, he asked further: “To do with as I please?” “Certainly, Mr. President,” replied the spokesman.
Lincoln leaned over to the fireplace, laid the paper on the hot coals, turned to the group and said: “Good day, gentlemen.”
That, brothers and sisters, is exactly what we should do with the gossip that comes our way. Destroy it. Put it in the fire. Put an end to it.
Prov. 26:20 “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”
James 4:11-12 “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you--who are you to judge your neighbor?”
III. PATIENCE
16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”
A patient person is far better than a warrior, that is, someone who is always spoiling for a fight. Self-control is always better than just letting go of oneself.
ILL.- In early 1952, President Truman appointed Newbold Morris to investigate crime and mismanagement in high government circles. Later that year, Morris was in the witness chair answering a barrage of pointed questions from the Senate sub-committee members regarding the sale of some ships by his New York company.
The investigation was becoming hot and fierce. Morris’ face took on a look of pain, then of surprise, and then of anger. Amidst the excitement, he shouted, as he reached into his coat and produced a sheet of white paper:
“Wait a minute, I have a note here from my wife. It says. ‘Keep your shirt on.’” Everybody laughed, and the angry excitement died down, at least temporarily.
We all need to learn to keep our shirt on and our mouth shut when we get angry. A display of anger doesn’t accomplish anything most of the time and just makes us look infantile or childish.
ILL.- A lady once came to preacher Billy Sunday and tried to rationalize her angry outbursts. "There’s nothing wrong with losing my temper," she said. "I blow up, and then it’s all over."
"So does a shotgun," Sunday replied, "and look at the damage it leaves behind!"
James 1:19-20 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
ILL.- Will Rogers once said, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”
ILL.- Someone said, “A good thing to remember is that you can’t save face if you lose your head.”
ILL.- Ben Franklin said, “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.”
Not much good comes from anger. Here is a good remedy for anger.
ILL.- Many years ago a senior executive of the then Standard Oil Company made a wrong decision that cost the company more than $2 million. John D. Rockefeller was then running the firm. On the day the news leaked out most of the executives of the company were finding various ingenious ways of avoiding Mr. Rockefeller, lest his anger descend on their heads.
There was one exception, however; he was Edward T. Bedford, a partner in the company. Bedford was scheduled to see Rockefeller that day and he kept the appointment, even though he was prepared to listen to a long harangue against the man who made the error in judgment.
When he entered the office the powerful head of the gigantic Standard Oil empire was bent over his desk busily writing with a pencil on a pad of paper. Bedford stood silently, not wishing to interrupt. After a few minutes Rockefeller looked up.
"Oh, it’s you, Bedford," he said calmly. "I suppose you’ve heard about our loss?" Bedford said that he had. "I’ve been thinking it over," Rockefeller said, "and before I ask the man in to discuss the matter, I’ve been making some notes."
Bedford later told the story this way: "Across the top of the page was written, ’Points in favor of Mr. _______.’ There followed a long list of the man’s virtues, including a brief description of how he had helped the company make the right decision on three separate occasions that had earned many times the cost of his recent error.
Bedford said, "I never forgot that lesson. In later years, whenever I was tempted to rip into anyone, I forced myself first to sit down and thoughtfully compile as long a list of good points as I possibly could. Invariably, by the time I finished my inventory, I would see the matter in its true perspective and keep my temper under control. There is no telling how many times this habit has prevented me from committing one of the costliest mistakes any executive can make -- losing his temper. I commend it to anyone who must deal with people."
One way to overcome anger is to stop, think and evaluate before we do anything or say anything that later on we will regret. Of course, I realize that when we get angry, that’s when we generally blow our top. Somehow, with the Lord’s help, we must control our anger.
Better a patient man, a controlled man than one who is quick to become angry and fight. Better a man controlled by God than one controlled by anger.
