August 1, 2004 Fruits of the Spirit
Children are naturally born wrecking machines. After having four of them, I am convinced of it. They love to tear, rip, smash, slap, pull and push anything they can. It is almost a weekly thing where something is broken in our household. This becomes more dangerous when smaller infants get in the presence of toddlers. You have to keep a constant eye on toddlers and say “gentle, nice” - all the time. Otherwise, before you know it, the toddler will be picking the baby up by the hair or giving him or her an eye gouge. The point I’m getting at is that “gentleness”, just like all of these other fruits we’ve been talking about - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, is NOT a natural thing. It has to be brought about by the Spirit. Yet today, through that ongoing work of the Holy Spirit - I hope and pray that He makes us more gentle people.
The Fruit of Gentleness
I. Is needed for things that are fragile
God calls on us to be gentle because we live in a fragile world among fragile people. Americans like to talk about their strengths and act as if they were in control of their destiny - but we are not nearly as powerful as we think we are - either spiritually, mentally, or physically. God’s Word continually makes this clear as it says -
• Psalm 103:14-15 He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
• Ephesians 2:1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins.
• Romans 6:19 You are weak in your natural selves.
• James 4:13-14 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
God’s Word describes you as dust, a mist, grass, dead, and weak. Look at the story of Job. How powerful was he in the whole situation? In the end - he was an absolute puppet - unable to do ANYTHING to defend himself against Satan’s attacks. He was absolutely HELPLESS. The end matter is - no matter how much potential you think you have - no matter how powerful you THINK you are - in God’s eyes - you’re nothing more than a mist that appears and then vanishes.
Doesn’t experience itself teach this most basic lesson? This really hit home this past week when one of our young fathers was in a bad bicycle accident - breaking his pelvis and shoulder. In the blink of an eye, he went from being a young and very active hard working man - trying to get in better shape - into a man who can barely even walk with the help of a walker. He could have very easily - very easily - died in that accident. It shook him up - it shook me up - his wife up - when you think about it - it should shake all of us up - because it was a harsh reminder to ALL of us how fragile we really are. All it takes is one wrong turn, one faulty valve, one mistake - and you could die. If God lifted His protection from you for one second - one minute - I can guarantee you that the devil would torture you to death - and there is absolutely NOTHING you could do about it. Therefore, God needs to deal with us GENTLY, because if He didn’t, we would die - and die quickly.
II. Is not easy to produce
The problem is that deep inside gentleness is something that you and I inwardly loathe. Parents become angry and frustrated at their infant children because they need to be fed in the middle of the night. It’s not like they can do anything about their hunger or their soiled diaper. Yet many times parents just become angry with the child because he or she is disturbing their sleep. They become angry when their children come crying to them because they skinned their knee. They hate the fact that their weak children need attention. Husbands often times get angry because their wives need attention - need to be talked to - appreciated - treated more specially than a drinking buddy. They despise the fact that their wives are so sensitive. Wives don’t like the fact that their husbands aren’t as sensitive with the children - that they aren’t good communicators. So they constantly complain about their spouses and ridicule them to their faces. Bosses get angry with their employees when they have a hard time keeping up with their duties because they’re sick or they’re tired or they just can’t do it right. Employees become angry when they have to make up for the insufficiencies of their bosses. These are Christians who respond this way. Why? Because we hate weakness. Life would be easier without it.
Gentleness means understanding that people are weak - and God expects you to treat them nicely, patiently, and not abuse them and get angry with them because of their weaknesses. Gentleness involves understanding that the people under you may not have as much energy as you - may not be as smart as you - as gifted as you - as focused as you. We hate this. We would rather expose it, eradicate it, make fun of it, or force it into strength. Why? So that WE don’t have to deal with it. Don’t you realize that this anger - this frustration - this harshness - shows how weak you really are - and only makes God angry with you? Consider the parable that Jesus spoke of the unforgiving servant. After the master had forgiven him the debt he was owed, that servant then went on to CHOKE one of his fellow servants and DEMAND repayment. So how did the master respond? The master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (Mt 18:32-34)
Imagine if God treated you the way that you treat the weak. He could have very easily looked at this sinful world and said, “I’m washing my hands of it. I don’t want to deal with it. It’s their problem - let them get out of it.” God had every right to do that with us. Every time you pray to God - He could become angry over the fact that you are complaining to Him again. Every time you get yourself into trouble and come back to Him for help, He could say to you, “I’m not helping you.” What if when Jesus walked by the paralytics He said to them, “come on you lamo - get up and walk.” Imagine if He made fun of Mary and Martha for crying at the grave of Lazarus. Imagine if God took every one of your sins and showed them to everyone on Judgment Day - and then said, “look at this loser! Do you think I should let HIM into heaven?”
Thankfully, the life of Jesus shows us a different God, however. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept. When Peter sank into the water, Jesus grabbed him. When the lame and the sick and the demon possessed crossed Jesus’ path - He cared for them. Jesus said to us in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Instead of using His power to crush the Roman government and the Jewish leaders, He gently laid His hands and feet on the cross and took our hell. Instead of exposing our weakness, Jesus covered them in His blood. Instead of damning us to hell, He gave us heaven. Instead of demanding us to earn our own salvation - He gave it to us free. He realized that we were weak and helpless, and He took us by the hand, gave us His Holy Spirit, and lifted us up. Jesus continues to care for us - weak as we are - and keep us in the faith. Instead of getting frustrated with us - He sticks with us.
One of the best illustrations of Jesus’ gentleness is in the Apostle Paul. Here he was - formerly known as Saul - persecuting Jesus’ own people. He even obtained permission to go out of his territory and find more Christians to persecute. Saul protected the cloaks of the people who were stoning Stephen - so they could really wind up and throw a nice hard rock at him. As Paul was on his way to Damascus - to persecute more Christians - Jesus showed up to Saul with a bright light. Did Jesus at that time say, “you miserable and rebellious heathen - I will now send you into the eternal hellfire!” No. What did Jesus say, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ (Ac 26:14) What a gentle and yet straight forward question - it is as if Jesus were saying, “Saul, what are you doing? Why do you have such anger in your blood against me? What have I done to you, that you should seek to hurt my children in this way? Don’t you realize that you’re only hurting yourself - like a donkey kicking against a sharp stick?” Even though Jesus could have destroyed Saul in a heartbeat, instead - He very patiently and gently reasoned with this angry and violent man. He took the time and effort to turn Saul from his wicked ways - and turn him into probably the greatest missionaries the Christian church has even known or ever will know.
God continues to act this way every day toward his Christian children - who still prove themselves to be weaker than they should be. When you get angry with your children, God doesn’t cut you off. When you get frustrated with your spouse because of his or her materialism, selfishness, or arrogance, God doesn’t cut us off. Instead of smashing us, this powerful and almighty God forgives us, calms our anger, ills us with his righteousness, and then uses His strength to support and strengthen us in a gentle way.
III. Is what God seeks out of us
This is the fruit that God is seeking out of us. The fruit of gentleness. He wants you to have the ability not only to sympathize with people who are weak - but to help them - to use your strength to lift them up - and strengthen them. I need to make this clear - especially to the men - God is not asking you to put on lipstick, high heels, and start talking in a high voice. He isn’t telling you to start watching Fried Green Tomatoes or demanding you to cry when Old Yeller dies. Gentleness does not mean that you need to become weak. It doesn’t mean that you have to become a cuddly little wimp. God is gentle without having one weakness. Gentleness means to understand that someone else is weak, and to do your best to help someone through their weakness without cutting them off. To, as God would say, “keep the smoldering wick burning.” This takes strength.
It’s easy to get angry at a child that’s crying in the middle of the night. It takes strength to get up and feed that child without getting angry. It’s easy to let your kids have what they want so they don’t whine and cry. But it takes strength to say no. When your kids are misbehaving or your child doesn’t do his chores, it’s easy just to yell at them and tell them what to do. It takes strength to gently instruct them and show them what you want them to do. If your husband isn’t good with little infants, it takes strength on the part of the wife to make up for his weakness and take up the slack. If you wife isn’t good at disciplining the kids, then men, show some gentle strength by helping her with it. Don’t just get angry with her because of her weakness - show some strength and care and HELP HER OUT. That’s what gentleness is about - not catering to weakness and enabling it - not getting angry about it, but using YOUR STRENGTH to help out and strengthen the weak.
Paul - who was shown God’s gentleness in Christ - showed us what gentleness is all about. In the Corinthian congregation - he had a group of people who thought that strength was shown in how well you could speak. A group of impressive and “high power” speakers had come into the congregation and started telling the congregation how to live a true Christian life. They went so far as to make fun of Paul because he wasn’t a very good speaker - and because he wasn’t very forceful in his personality. The Corinthians even got to the point where they felt they were seemingly stronger than Paul! Instead of yelling at them and trying to meet up to THEIR standards, Paul simply wrote in 2 Corinthians 13, We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection. This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority—the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down. Note the humility and the tone of this letter. Paul had every right to show his authority and tell them the way it was. They deserved to be yelled at, but he didn’t want to do it that way. Instead, he prayed for their strength. He encouraged them by writing to them what the right path was to take, in order that they could reform their ways so that he wouldn’t have to show his “strength.” Without backing down or allowing their weakness to get out of control, Paul gently corrected them and instructed them - in order to help them get on the proper road.
This fruit of gentleness is a very rare fruit - especially in today’s society. In politics, one group will say, “we feel your pain”, but do nothing to help it. Another group will say, “it’s your mess, get yourself out of it.” Neither is a gentle solution. In society, they want equality between men and women - but their version of this encourages women to act like men - to smoke cigarettes and talk dirty talk - to be rude and rough. We live in a society that trains it’s children to emulate Hulk Hogan and the Terminator. High school kids drive around their hot rods, flip people off and wear their hats backwards. (Listen to me, I’ve turned into my grandpa - but that’s ok.) Twelve and thirteen year old kids are walking around with tattoos - nose rings - you name it. Husbands and wives live in a household of ridicule and derail each other and treat each other like the Osbournes. Reality shows teach us that it’s normal to tear each other apart to try and win in the end. If you really want to make a positive statement in our society - why not try some gentleness? Instead of flaunting your strengths or trying to put on a persona of how might you are - try a little gentleness. If you’ve got some strengths - use them to help people. If you see someone that needs some help - and you’ve got the ability to help - don’t get angry at someone for making you walk a mile. Take the time and effort to walk an extra mile with them. That’s what gentleness is all about. When a diamond is placed against a black cloth - it stands out all the more. Let your gentleness be evident to all.
Several months ago I had slammed my finger in a door. Immediately I grabbed it and exclaimed, “yeaahouw.” As I was caressing it, someone I know and love jokingly asked me, “do you want me to call a doctor?” You see, what she was doing was quoting me. I always say that to my children when they skin their knee or come crying to me, because I don’t think they always should be crying when they come. They often times end up crying because they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing - and they “deserve” their pain. So I didn’t particularly like the question - because my finger really did hurt at the time - and I wasn’t doing anything “wrong”. Yet the point was well made. In an indirect way yet a direct way, she was saying to me, “you need to be more gentle with your children when they come crying to you.” Sometimes they do have honest accidents - and I’m not very sympathetic and kind. I’m not as gentle as I could or should be. I can’t say that I’ve given up my line, but I don’t use it quite so often anymore.
Being gentle isn’t an easy thing for us to do. However, when we come crying to God - His ears are always open. He takes us in His arms time and again, heals our wounds, and sends us on our way. He’s been more than a Good Samaritan. He’s been a good and gentle Savior. Is it asking too much to emulate that gentleness? Is it asking too much to expect the same kind of care and concern from us? Without the Spirit it is asking too much. But you’ve got God’s gift of the Holy Spirit. Through faith, no matter who you are or how rough your background, gentleness is a fruit that can be produced in you. The only question is - is gentleness the kind of fruit you want? Amen.
