What is a Family
Part Two of the Series
In the last sermon we discussed the husband and his role and touched briefly on the woman’s role. Now we will get into the woman’s role a little more in detail. We will cover a few topics within this sermon and hopefully by the end of the sermon you will have an understanding of what a wife is and how God says she should be. The wife is the female partner of a marriage. Again, I must emphasize that she is a partner and not a slave. She is entitled to the same rights equated to the man with different responsibilities and role.
The woman we find in Gen 2 was created to be a help mate.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Woman was made out of man to be a help mate. Woman was created so man would not be alone.(Gen 2:18) God did not make woman for man to dictate. The very creation by design was a helper in all man does. God did not want man to be alone so he created woman, a companion made from the rib of man. She is not to be inferior to man, but to be a compliment to man. It is by creation that man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. Now let’s look at the wife in more detail. Actually, let’s look at her role as a wife more than as a woman per sey.
Let’s take a look at the woman’s role as described in God’s word. First we will, again, look in Eph 5
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Wives submit. You have to understand submit first. Here Paul is not describing a worldly submission, he is describing a Godly submission. Worldly submission is a surrender of one’s self. A Godly submission is a surrender to serve and care for another. It is a submission that one will submit themselves unto the service of another. We need to look at this very carefully. A love of submission is a love that has a willingness to serve. The role of submission is not giving up your human rights. Submission is not the woman being submissive to the man. It means that the woman since she loves should be of service to the husband. Many marriages do not understand this principle. By no means is this submission to be deemed as a woman upon marrying giving up her total being. It means more than that. You are still an individual however, now you have joined with a man and become one flesh. Woman is man’s helpmate, she is his partner. She is to be united with man and they become one flesh, both striving to serve Christ in all that they do. This means that the two of you now must live as one.
The best example is Christ submitting to the church and thus serving the church. So must woman serve man. It is through the submission of ones mind and soul that one is truly submitting to another. Through submission to Christ we learn the true meaning of submission.
The role then of the wife is to be a partner to the husband. To be submissive unto him in order to serve God. Through serving, woman becomes a virtuous woman. Read proverbs 31:10-31 where we find the true worth of a wife. She is more priceless than rubies(31:10). The husband’s heart trusts in her(31:11). She will do him good(31:12). God created woman to be a helpmate to man and as such they join into one flesh. They should have equal goals, desires and dreams. Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
You notice that in the very same chapter of Ephesians, if we go to the next verse, Paul was led to tell men that they must love their wife and even described the type of love they must use. In Eph 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Paul describes that we must be willing to give ourselves for the wife. We are told that we must love the wife as Christ loved the church. Now we all understand the very concept that Christ loved the church so much he died on the cross in order to save her. You have to understand that God has placed the responsibility upon man. Man has the role of accountability in the marriage. As the male partner of the marriage the man has the ultimate responsibility to guide and nourish the family. The man has been given the role by God. The man is told by Him that it is the man that is the responsible party and that he should, through actions, lead the family to a life of Godly values. The man should be the leader through his actions and that he must at all costs lead through submission. The man must lead through love and be willing to give up himself for the wife. Man was not given the role of dictator. I keep going back to this and pointing out that it by no means gives man a dictator role over woman.
I was going to wait until the next sermon for this topic, however, I feel that it is time to discuss this now. The roles of both men and women when they join in marriage. You see God created man then out of his rib created woman. He created woman so man would not be alone. He then gave a direct command to man, that he is to leave his parents and cleave unto his wife. Gen 2:24 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh God said they shall be one flesh. God did not intend for man to dominate a woman, he did not intend man to dictate the wife’s every move. Instead he said become one flesh. Now I would take this as God telling man that what ever is done to the wife is being done to the husband. So if man strips the wife from her human rights he has also stripped himself of those very same rights. In another words if man does not want the same treatment, the same pains, and the same cruelty then he should not be doing it. So when we start to look at marriage the man must not only make the emotional choice to love the wife, he must be willing to mentally love the wife. What do you mean you may be asking? Well first let me try to lay a little foundation in regards to love.
Here in Eph 5 Paul is very diligent is describing how man should love his wife. So lets look at this and see what Paul is saying.Eph 5:28:33
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
See here Paul is taking the time to point out and describe how man should love his wife. Yes, according to God’s word the wife must submit to the man in all things. And I must also say that if the husband loves the wife as explained by Paul the act of submission is easy. The wife must submit unto the husband and the husband must love the wife.
Now we can look at 1 Cor 13:4-7 New Living Translation.
4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Here love is described in detail by Paul. The King James version has "Charity" in place of "Love". The word charity is one that most versions replace, however the word is important in the KJV. It is through a charitable heart that we love and as we see charity shall we also see love. Through these verses we learn not only how to gain love we learn how to continue to grow in love. Paul found it important in Eph. to tell the man that he must love his wife and, furthermore, love her as Christ loved the church. In these verses Paul takes time to explain love and how to obtain perfect love. And through this perfect love also will come submission. It is through serving that we become subjective to Christ and thus woman shall become subjective to the husband.
Let’s sum it all up so we may move forward into the next sermon in the series. Woman was made from man to be a helpmate. Woman must submit to the husband, and the husband must love the wife as Christ loves the church. So how can we best describe the perfect marriage? In order for a marriage to be as was intended, we must submit to God and then to one another. Then man must lead the family not with a iron fist but with love and dedication to Christ and the family. Through the leadership the man is held responsible for the family and for their protection. We will discuss a little more of the role as parents as described in the Bible in the next sermon.
Pastor David Azbell
