OUR FATHER KNOWS BEST
EPH. 6:1-4
I. 10 REASONS ITS GOOD TO BE A MAN
10.You NEVER NEED TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS, you are never lost, so you say!
9 .You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
8. If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.
7. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
6. If another guy shows up at the same party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
5. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
4. There is always a game on somewhere.
3. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So…notice anything different?”
2. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
1. You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
B. There are a lot of great things about being a man but the greatest is you get to be a dad!
1. One of the awesome things about being a dad is the impact you have on your children—their spiritual and emotion well-being.

C. These statistics just confirm what our heavenly Father said 2,000 years ago when He spoke thru Paul in Eph. 6 of the importance of fathers in child rearing! READ
1. It is so crucial God packed this passage with commands.
*obey * honor *do not provoke * bring them up
1.Men, you have an awesome impact on your children—that’s a fact!
2.The questions is, What kind of impact will you have?
D. If you will follow God’s Word today, you will have a beneficial, godly impact...
II. FATHERS, DON’T FORCE FEED YOUR CHILDREN--NURTURE THEM! (4)
The command is not to exasperate our children—to needlessly make them angry
1. Paul does not specify exactly how these fathers were exasperating their children but the historical context gives us a clue.
Illus. In the first century, when this passage was written, families were presided over by fathers who could do whatever they pleased in their homes. Rome had a law called patria potestas, which meant “the father’s power.” Men who were Roman citizens were given absolute property rights over their families. By law, the children and the wife were regarded as the patriarch’s personal chattel, and he could do with them what he wished. A displeased father could disown his children, sell them into slavery, or even kill them if he wished.
When a child was born, the baby was placed between the father’s feet. If the father picked up the baby, the child stayed in the home. If he turned and walked away, the child was either left to die or sold at auction. Seneca, a contemporary of the apostle Paul, described Roman policy with regard to unwanted animals: “We slaughter a fierce ox; we strangle a mad dog; we plunge a knife into a sick cow. Children born weak or deformed we drown.”
C. These fathers were exasperating their children by being overbearing and dictatorial!
*Men, you are not the football coach or the drill sergeant
*you are their father
1. Most fathers have the tendency to be overbearing with their children especially their sons.
Illus. If I had sons first I would have killed them
*But, I have got to be the leader, right?
2. What separates a dictator from a leader?
*dictator is harsh—demanding
*dictator will not allow discussion
3. Our children are people not slaves or employees
4. We should be firm but not overbearing or dictatorial
D. 2nd—giving Rules without a relationship
1. Dad is great at setting rules but he has no relationship with the kids.
2. All he is, is a rule maker.
3. The children do not know his heart—all they see is the rules that seem oppressive and they get exasperated.
4. Teens rebel against relationships (lack of)
E. 3rd—When dad shows favoritism
F. 4th—out burst of anger, sharp cutting words
1. Dad loses his temper and blows up at them
2. They have one of two reactions:
*they wilt, crushed
*they sleeve with anger, pressure cooker
G. 5th—Never being satisfied with what they do
1.If they make an A—you wanted A+,
2.They get 3 hits, score 2 runs, catch 6 balls but you go not even mention those, you criticize them for missing that one fly ball?
Illus. Shawn Davis (pitching and Tom)
3. Let your children know what pleases you and them compliment them when they do!
H. Unkept promises—
1.We are going fishing this weekend—plays golf
2.We will do something together when I get home from work—”I have some work I need to do”
H. Paul is not specific because there are numerous ways father might exasperate ….
Dad ask yourself, “Am I exasperating my …
III. FATHERS RATHER THAN FORCE FEED THEM, NURTURE AND NOURISH THEM.
A. “Bring them up” is the Greek word for nurture and nourish
1. Implies a Relationship
*If you are going to nurture them, there needs to be a relationship
*Dads we must spend time with our children building a relationship
*Not leaving for work before they get up and coming home after they are in bed.
*When you do get home early do not plop in front the TV and go into a daze.
“*be quite, go ask your mother, turn the channel, stop fighting etc.”
Illus. One Christian father regret,
My family’s all grown and the kids are all gone. But if I had to do it all over again, this is what I would do. I would love my wife more in front of my children. I would laugh with my children more--at our mistakes and our joys. I would listen more, even to the littlest child. I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending perfection. I would pray differently for my family; instead of focusing on them, I’d focus on me. I would do more things together with my children. I would encourage them more and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to little things, like deeds and words of thoughtfulness: And then, finally, if I had to do it all over again, I would share God more intimately with my family; every ordinary thing that happened in every ordinary day I would use to direct them to God.
2. Implies Tenderness—
*be kind to your children
*be tender with them, not harsh and mean spirited
*soft words, consoling words, loving words
3. Implies Consistency—
*I can never grow plants because I am not consistent in watering and caring for them
*in one church a lady thought it would add a warn touch for me to have plants in my office
*they all died because I kept forgetting to care for them—no consistency
*if you ever see plants in my office you can be certain they are artificial!
*Dads you must consistently spend time with your kids, consistently speaks words of encouragement and tenderness!
IV. FATHERS, GIVE YOUR CHILDREN DIRECTION AND CORRECTION IN THE LORD! (4)
I cannot over state how important it is for fathers to be involved in training and disciplining their children.
Illus. Harvard University sociologists Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck developed a test (that proved to be 90 percent accurate) to determine whether or not five- and six-year-olds would become delinquent. They discovered that the four primary factors necessary to prevent delinquency are:
1.the father’s firm, fair, and consistent discipline;
2.the mother’s supervision and companionship during the day;
3.the parent’s demonstrated affection for each other and for the children;
4.and the family’s spending time together in activities where all participated (Unraveling Juvenile Delinquency [Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard Univ. Press, 1950], pp. 257-71).
A. Give them Direction: What?
1. Train them to obey you and their mother (1)
*God commands children to obey their parents—but whose responsibility is it to see they do obey in the early years?
*One of the first things you must teach them is to obey your voice.—it could save their life
1. You cannot teach them anything else until they learn to obey you.
2. How?
3. You tell them to do something and when they do not do it you discipline them.
*starts early when they begin reaching for things (no! look at you and do it anyway)
*YOU immediately run into their willfulness!
*Bible only gives one remedy for will rebellion—the rod of reproof Prov 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Prov 13:24
24 He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Illus. Susannah Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley, raised seventeen children and had these words to say about raising children: "The parent who studies to subdue [self-will] in his child works together with God in the renewing and saving a soul. The parent who indulges it does the devil’s work, makes religion impracticable, salvation unattainable, and does all that in him lies to damn his child, soul and body forever" (cited in The Journal of John Wesley [Chicago: Moody, n. d.], p. 106).
REMEMBER—THIS IS IN CONJUNCTION WITH A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM
2. Train them to honor you and their mother
*this can only come after you have taught them to obey your voice
*if they will not obey you they will not respect you
*when there is no respect there is no honor!
*train them to honor by not allowing disrespectful words or attitudes
*YOU ARE THE FATHER!
V. 3RD FATHERS GIVE YOUR CHILDREN INSTRUCTION IN THE Lord
*Dad, it’s your responsibility to teach your children
*far too many Dads want to leave it to the mother
*we come up with all sort of excuses why mother is better suited ..
*when you stand before Christ and He ask you why you did not obey His command to ….
*what will you say?
What is the matter of your instruction?
1. The truths of God’s Word 2 Tim 3:15
*Paul wrote Tim
and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
2. The gospel
3. Teach them to pray, witness, to study the Bible, how to resist temptation, how to claim God’s promises
4. Responsible stewardship, giving to God
B. The manner of instruction?
1.start early—reading Bible to them
*Bible in pictures
*Bible stories
*acting out Bible stories
2. It must SPRING FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM Deut 6:7-8
You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. (your are with them)
3.By your example
*let them see you praying, studying your Bible
*let them see you witnessing, claiming God’s promises
VI CONCLUSION
Fathers, God commands us bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
1.That means we are to lovingly nurture them
2.We are to discipline them
3.We are to teach them
B. All of these are impossible if we do not spend time with our children.
Illus.
A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 6-year-old son waiting for him at the door. “Daddy, may I ask you a question?” The dad replied: “Yeah, sure, what is it?” “Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?” The dad got mad and said, “That’s none of your business! Why do you want to know?”
The little boy said, “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” The dad, wanting to sit down and relax, said, “If you must know, I make $20 an hour.” The little boy sighed and bowed his head. Looking up, he asked, “Daddy, may I borrow $10 please?”
The father flew off the handle, “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is so that you can hit me up for some cash to buy some stupid toy, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. You’re so selfish. I work long, hard hours every day and don’t have time for this.”
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The dad sat down and started to get even madder about the nerve of his little boy. How dare he ask questions only to get some money. After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think that maybe he was a bit hard on his boy. Maybe his son really needed the money for something important. And so, the father went up to his boy’s room and opened it, “Are you asleep, son?”“ No daddy. I’m awake,” replied the boy. “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day, and I took it out on you. Here’s that 10 bucks you asked for.” The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you, daddy!” he exclaimed. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out a wad of crumpled up bills. The dad, seeing that the boy already had some money, started to get angry again. The dad, now ticked off, demanded to know what was going on, “Why did you want more money if you already had some?” The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his dad. The little boy replied, “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $20 now…and I’d like to buy an hour of your time.”
