“Friends”
INTRODUCTION: Friends are wonderful things to have … AMEN? When I was over at Lisa Mathew’s house this week, I couldn’t help notice all the “friends” she had. That’s one of the blessings of growing up in a small community. You have friends that you grew up with … friends you went to school with … friends you are related to … life-long friends. Being in the ministry for so many years, and moving away from my hometown, I’ve lost contact with my childhood friends. There’s something to be said for living where you grew up.
There’s something to be said for having lots of “friends”. This morning, we are going to take a look at what the Scriptures say about “friends”.
There are different types of friends … different CLASSIFICATIONS. See if you recognize them in your life.
1.- Acquaintances – People you know (but maybe can’t always remember their name) … YET … you say “Hi” to them whenever you see them at Wal-Mart or the Post Office or Bank.
2.- Casual Friends – You see them more often than acquaintances, usually at the same place every time. You have common interests. Maybe you’re in the same club … on the same committee … your children are friends … you see them at church, or school activities.
3.- Close Friends – You visit them at their house … OR …. Invite them over to your house. You go hunting or fishing together. You will sit and talk with them for hours. You enjoy their company, and look forward to seeing them often.
4.- Intimate Friends – Your BEST friend. You can get up-close and personal with them. You can share what’s in your heart … your problems, struggles, goals, joys.
When I began studying this subject, I was amazed at the number of references to “friends” in the Bible.
Remember, last Sunday night, what Jesus called Judas, when Judas came to betray Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane? Jesus called him, “Friend”. Judas betrayed that “friendship”, but Jesus was offering His friendship to Judas.
Remember the paralytic man, who was carried by his 4 friends to the house where Jesus was? They tore a hole in the roof to let him down, so Jesus could heal him.
I. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A FRIEND?
II. WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A FRIEND?
III. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A FRIEND?
We find a good lesson of “friendship” in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – all turn.
4:9 – When friends work together, you can accomplish twice as much. Listen to what was forbidden under the O.T. law - Deut. 22:10 – “Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.” WHY was that? BECAUSE … they would be counter-productive … work against each other. That reminds me of 2 Cor. 6:14 – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
BUT … when FRIENDS work together, much can be accomplished.
• FRIENDS help each other succeed.
• FRIENDS don’t put each other down.
• FRIENDS encourage each other.
FRIENDS work together.
4:10 - Remember the impotent man at the Pool of Bethesda? John 5:7 – “The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me.” When he needed a “friend”, there was none around.
FRIENDS are there to pick each other up when they fall. Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” When I was growing up, I used to think that his verse meant that a “brother” was born for the purpose of causing you adversity (or so it often seemed in my life!). HOWEVER … I’ve come to realize that this verse means that a friend, a “brother/sister in Christ”, is born (“born-again”) for the purpose of being there for you when adversity comes into your life.
“woe to him that is alone” – Have you ever known anyone who didn’t have any, or many, friends? That’s a lonely life, isn’t it? I can’t imagine not having any real friends. It’s tough to go through life … ALONE … lonely … friendless.
A FRIEND will be there for you, when adversity comes. Someone said that, you can tell if you’ve been successful in life, if you have enough close friends to act as pallbearers at your funeral!
4:11 – It’s a cold, cruel world out there! It’s hard to keep warm, when you’re alone. Like being lost in the woods on a cold night, a FRIEND can provide “body heat” to keep you alive … for survival. It’s hard to be warm, when you’re alone.
A friend is an ENCOURAGER. They give you the “warmth” you need to keep going. CONTRAST this with someone who always sees the negative … always criticizing … always trying to correct you, set you straight … always finding fault. How would you like to crawl into a sleeping bag with them? Someone once said, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?”
A FRIEND is an encourager … making you feel warm inside when the world is cold and freezing.
4:12a – Battles in Bible times were usually fought in hand-to-hand combat. Two would fight side-by-side … back-to-back. No matter where the enemy came from, you could defend yourself … BECAUSE … your friend “had your back”.
Have you got a FRIEND like that? When you’re in a battle … financial, emotional, relationship, health, mental … whatever the battle … you want a friend who will GUARD your back … NOT … STAB you in the back … AMEN? You want someone you can trust … someone you can count on. THAT’S a true friend.
You want someone who will stand up for you, when others are putting you down. A true FRIEND won’t stand for GOSSIP. What is GOSSIP? It’s when you say something negative or unkind about someone, whether it’s true or not, and they’re not there … behind their BACK. That’s when you need a FRIEND … to be in your corner … to encourage you … to believe in you.
4:12b – FRIENDS need to come in groups … in gangs! It’s easier to break one string, than 3 strings that are woven together into a rope. You can call them a “support group” … or “group therapy” … “group counseling” … whatever. You can’t have too many friends.
SO … WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A FRIEND?
• Working together … equally yoked … helping each other succeed.
• Picking each other up when they fall … when adversity comes.
• Encouraging each other … keeping each other warm.
• Guarding your back … believing in you … fighting for you.
II. WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A FRIEND?
1.- They Accept You - Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loveth at all times …” Somebody once said that “a friend is someone who knows all about you … and loves you anyway.”! They accept you as you are … even with your quirks … your faults … your failings … your oddities. Knowing all this, they STILL want to be your friend! Diverting to the non-Biblical, I think of Andy & Barney (Mayberry fame). Barney could be a real pistol! He was a little odd … different … quirky … annoying at times. BUT … Andy was always there for him. He ACCEPTED him … as Barney. “A friend loveth at all times.”
2.- They Are Friendly - Proverbs 18:24 – “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:” Do you know why some people don’t have many FRIENDS? BECAUSE … they aren’t “friendly”. Some people are just NATURALLY friendly. Some people have to LEARN to be friendly.
I remember when I was a teenager. I was shy, introverted … didn’t have many friends … wasn’t very friendly. One Sunday afternoon I read this verse … “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:” I decided to try it out. When I went to church that night, I decided to do something revolutionary. I decided to speak to someone BEFORE they spoke to me! I decided to be FRIENDLY. Guess what? I started coming out of my shell. Before long (a couple of years later), I even started dating! GIRLS!
You won’t have many friends, if you aren’t FRIENDLY! It’s hard to make friends if you’re critical, negative, or fault-finding. “Friends” … are FRIENDLY!
3.- They Are Truthful - Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Someone (Oscar Wilde) once said that “A true friend stabs you in the front.” SOMETIMES … the truth HURTS. BUT … a true friend will be HONEST with you … even if it hurts. That’s also called “Tough Love”.
You WANT a true friend to be HONEST with you … TRUTHFUL … even if, for a while, your feelings get hurt. You don’t want a FRIEND who tells you only what you want to hear … agrees with you even if you’re wrong … won’t confront you when you’re heading in the wrong direction. A true FRIEND is honest and truthful … EVEN IF it hurts.
Proverbs 27:17 – “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” That’s what a FRIEND does. He/she is there to make you a better person … “sharpen” you. If your FRIENDS aren’t making you BETTER … you’d better get some new friends. “Choose your friends wisely … you become what they are.”
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Beware of the “kisses of an enemy”. They might flatter and pander you … BUT … they aren’t true FRIENDS. They only want something!
SO … WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A FRIEND?
• They accept you … warts and all.
• They are friendly … not critical and fault-finding.
• They are honest and truthful … sharpening you … even if it hurts.
III. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Turn to John 15:13-15.
You can have no greater friend than Jesus … AMEN? WHY?
1.- He’s There To Pick You Up - Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” We’ve all FALLEN short of God’s glory. Gal. 5:4 says that we are “fallen from grace.” Only Jesus is able to pick you up. Nobody can get to Heaven by picking themselves up by their own bootstraps. Hymn #478 – “No, Not One”
2.- He Accepts You – John 15:13. Jesus places a high value on “friendship”. It’s one thing to choose somebody to be your friend. It’s another thing for somebody to choose you as their friend. There’s a difference. You might choose somebody to be your friend … AND … they might not want to be your friend. BUT … if they choose you … it’s an HONOR!
NOTICE what Jesus DOESN’T say in 15:14. He DOESN’T SAY, “I am YOUR FRIEND, if you do whatever I command you.” HE SAYS, “You are MY FRIEND, if you do whatever I command you.”
Jesus WANTS YOU as a FRIEND. What an honor! Jesus ACCEPTS you … just as you are … warts and all! He gave His LIFE for you – 15:13. He took your place on the cross of Calvary. He took your punishment … so you could spend eternity with Him in Heaven. WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS! … AMEN?
How can you show your “friendship” to Jesus? 15:14. We are to respond to His “friendship”, by being a true FRIEND. We are to live our lives in obedience to what He has told us in His Word. To deliberately disobey Jesus, isn’t being a true FRIEND … it’s called BETRAYAL. He deserves better than that. Jesus deserves a true friend, as well.
CONCLUSION: Jesus is the best friend you’ll ever have. We need to take advantage of His friendship. We need to:
• Talk with Him often … prayer.
• Enjoy His fellowship.
• Accept His comfort, encouragement, love, and care.
• Walk with Him in obedience.
WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS!
STAND – PRAYER
HYMN - #403 – “What A Friend We Have In Jesus”
OUTLINE FOR HANDOUT:
“Friends”
INTRODUCTION: Different classifications of friends:
- Acquaintances … Casual … Close … Intimate.
I. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A FRIEND? Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
- 4:9 – Friends work together – Deut. 22:10, 2 Cor. 6:14
- 4:10 – Friends pick each other up when they fall – John 5:7
- Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
- A friend is there for you when adversity comes.
- 4:11 – Friends encourage each other … gives warmth.
- 4:12a – Friends watch each other’s back … in their corner.
- 4:12b – You can’t have too many friends.
II. WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A FRIEND?
1.- They Accept You – Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loveth at all times.”
2.- They Are Friendly – Proverbs 18:24 – “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.”
3.- They Are Truthful – Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
- Sometimes, the truth hurts … but, a friend will be honest with you.
- Proverbs 27:17 – “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
- Friends are there to make you a better person.
III. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? John 15:13-15
You have no greater friend than Jesus. Why?
1.- He’s There To Pick You Up – Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
- Only Jesus can pick you up from your fallen state of sin.
2.- He Accepts You – John 15:13
- It’s an honor for someone to choose you as their friend – 15:14
- Jesus wants you as His friend.
- Jesus gave His life for you – 15:13
- How you can show your friendship to Jesus – 15:14
- Jesus deserves a true friend.
CONCLUSION: Jesus is the best friend you could ever have.
