I BELIEVE, BUT WHY DO I DOUBT?
I’m sure that most of us would prefer to live in the mountaintops of the spiritual highs of our lives. Those times when God is moving in powerful ways, your confidence is high, you have that positive, “can-do” attitude, your relationship with God is passionate, there’s excitement in the air and you have this bold persona – “Bring it on!” Looks impossible – no problem.
I just love those times. But I have found that it’s hard to stay on the mountaintop. As the song goes – “There got to be a little rain sometimes.” To get to the other mountaintop, we have to come off the one that we are on, into the valley and work our way up to the other side. It’s the valleys we don’t like. It’s those times when it’s dark and we can’t see the way, when fear creeps in, when it’s long and discouraging and beyond our human ability to coupe, that’s when we begin to struggle.
I would like for us to take a look at the twelve disciples of Jesus. They were for the most part average men. They were with Jesus and saw first hand His miracles and power. They saw Jesus calm the storm, heal a demon possessed man, raise a 12 year old girl from the dead, feed 5000 men plus the women and children, feed another 4000, saw Him walk on the water and even watched Jesus at what we now call “The Transfiguration.” To add to this, Jesus gave the 12 disciples authority over evil spirits and the ability to heal and sent them off into the towns and villages to preach. You talk about spiritual highs, it was one right after another.
Yet there were some valleys. In Mark 9:14, we pick up a story that I believe can help us wrestle with our doubts. The disciples were arguing with the religious leaders and things were probably not going very well. Let me just interject, no matter who you are, how well intentioned and honorable your motives and desires, there will always be those who oppose you. The Scribes, Sadducees and Pharisees harassed Jesus and His disciples relentlessly. They were determined, embittered and downright hateful group of people. Have you ever run into anybody like that? They have their doctrines that they are so dogmatic about that when Jesus Christ came differently than their doctrines, then Jesus was wrong. I’ve sat in heated deacons meetings (not at this church) where a deacon vehemently accused me of moving the “ancient landmarks.” When I asked him to define these ancient landmarks that I had moved, he couldn’t. But none the less I had moved them and was leading the church astray. It’s hard to reason with those kinds of accusations. It can get down-right discouraging.
I bet the teachers of the law who were arguing with the disciples were disputing over things of more substance when Jesus came on the scene and asked, “What are you arguing with them about?” This is when the story really begins to unfold. A father speaks up, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.” (Mark 9:17-18, NIV) It must have been very embarrassing for the disciples to be so powerless in the face of their detractors. They were unable to free this boy from the demonic grip in his life. They believed they could and had done it before with others but now they couldn’t. The paralyzing force of doubt had crept in and it was like a fire hydrant, distinguishing their faith.
Jesus replies, “O unbelieving generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” (Mark 9:19, NIV) Unbelief has no power! Jesus’ disciples had failed. He had chosen them, trained them, gave them authority over the powers of darkness, gave them personal experience and when He was gone for just a little while, they fumbled the ball. Jesus still comes to confront us in our unbelief. He comes grieving that we have such little spiritual power and victory. Unbelief cannot succeed against Satan. Unbelief does not and cannot please God. Heb 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (NIV) Please believe me, times of testing will always come. They are opportunities of faith. How can we say we have faith when we have blue skies and a warm breeze? How can we say we have faith when everything is going our way? It is only when we can’t see, when we don’t know how things are going to unfold, when things are really looking bad that we find the real substance of our faith. It is only in those times when it’s beyond our own abilities can we measure our faith.
I don’t know why these disciples came up short. Perhaps they had gotten too busy with ministering to others. Maybe they thought because they were with Jesus so much that they didn’t need to pray. Not only did this power failure affect their own spiritual lives, it affected their ability to minister to those around them. Later when the disciples got Jesus off by themselves and ask Him why they had trouble, Jesus said, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” Some versions say “prayer and fasting.” Notice Jesus didn’t say:
• I’m the only one who can handle this kind of situation.
• If only you had said the right words.
• Only seminary trained people can handle things like this.
He said that their power failure was a direct result of their prayer failure.
So let me ask you, “Have you ever experienced a spiritual power failure in your life? Have you ever felt powerless against temptation? Have you ever wondered, “Where’s the power?” You are not alone. Great men of God throughout history have had high and low points in regards to their faith, times of anguish having doubts about God – like Jacob, Job, David, Jeremiah, Habakkuk, Thomas, Peter, etc. people who questioned, faltered, doubted and yet in the end remained faithful.
For me, one of my favorite stories was that of Elijah who had the audacious faith to go before the wicked king Ahab of Israel and say, “As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.” (1 Kings 17:1, NIV) After 3 years, he arose to a big showdown against the prophets of Baal to determine exactly who is the true God. We know the story how he built an altar, dug a trench around it, soaked it with barrels of water and with one simple prayer, called down fire from heaven and it consumed the offering and the altar. What a bold demonstration of faith, you talk about mountaintop experience. He killed the prophets of Baal and things looked like they were on a roll.
Then Jezebel, the kings wicked wife, sent a message to Elijah, basically saying, “I’m going to kill you.” And Elijah, the man who had the faith to hold off the rain for 3 years, who faced off against 400 prophets of Baal, able to call down fire from heaven, suddenly became weak-kneed and took off running and became suicidal. What a rollercoaster ride. He went from an incredible high to a deep and powerless low in record time. However, God still used him and grew him in his faith.
At this point in my life, I am closer to God than I have ever been, yet, at the same time, I’ve never been so aware of my spiritual shortcomings. I struggle with my powerlessness and lack of faith. I still have a lot of growing to do. I believe, but there are also times of doubt? I struggle as to why.
Let’s return to our text in Mark chapter nine. This father with a demon possessed son is desperate. It’s an awful feeling to be a parent and watch your child goes through any kind of sickness. I don’t think there is any feeling so desperately intense as a parent who cannot help their child. Try and imagine what this father was going through as we read Mark 9:17-24.
“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” First of all, this father was honest. He was as honest and sincere as he possibly could. You can criticize him if you want for a lack of faith, but at least he was honest. I have found that before growth can take place, before faith can be increased, before we can make it to the next level, we’ve got to be honest with ourselves and with God. Which is the greater sin? Faltering in our faith, or faking our faith? If the doubts are there, you’re not fooling anybody but yourself.
Honesty with our doubts can lead us to discovery and greater faith. We may not have the faith to move a mountain, to fully see the unseen, but it doesn’t take a lot of faith to get you started down the right path. That’s why I love this father’s response, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” He’s saying, I believe, I don’t understand it all, but I’m willing to learn and hang in there until I do.
God delights in increasing the faith of His children. Let me reinforce this truth – “trials, difficulties and sometimes defeat are the very food of faith.” (George Mueller) Doubts cause us to search and often it leads us to discovery. If we look back on our lives, I believe that we would realize that it was only after a time of questioning and doubt that we grew in faith and understanding. It motivates us to search and explore, pray, read and at times forces us to trust when we can’t see the answer or it doesn’t make sense. We come away with an even greater faith.
How do you grow faith when everything is fine? It’s easy to say, “Oh Lord, I have great faith in You!” It is only when tragedy or heartaches or trials come that we find what our faith is really made of and like steel being tempered when placed in the fire, it becomes stronger.
The good news is that when we face up to our faltering faith, when we admit it, that is when we give God room to do only what He can do. Notice what Jesus did not do:
• He didn’t say, “Sorry, you don’t have enough faith.”
• He didn’t say, “Muster up some more faith and come back later.”
• He didn’t say, “A miracle can only happen if you have a certain quota or level of faith.”
No, Jesus went ahead and healed the boy.
What are some things we can learn from this story?
1. Be honest with your doubts. It is only when we stop faking and start facing them that we can grow in deeper faith. God is not threatened by your doubts. The church or others may feel threatened, but God is not. He openly embraces those with honest doubts that are seeking answers.
2. Come to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him. Faith must express itself in communication with God and in personal sacrifice. If we want to do anything significant for God, we are going to have to be willing to spend time with Him and sacrifice some things for Him. Prayer is the power grid of faith. Put your eyes on Jesus and not the problem.
It’s really sad that too often those who do not believe do not pray. Those who do not believe and do not pray most certainly will not fast and deny themselves. Those who falter in their prayer life, also begin to falter in their Bible reading. This affects their spiritual wisdom and their ability to combat temptation. When our spiritual life is weakened, we don’t care about spending time in the house of God to worship, fellowship, and ministering to others. Do you see and understand this self defeating death spiral? It has a cascading affect. Come to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him.
Think back for a few minutes over this past year. Can you think of some time when your faith didn’t rise to the occasion? Have you discovered some “chinks in the armor” of your faith? Are there some areas in you life where you haven’t been honest with your doubts, you’ve been faking it? Have you brought it to Jesus and laid it at His feet and said, “I believe, help me in my unbelief?” Are you willing to let Jesus take over and grow you to a deeper level as you face and wrestle with your doubts? As I said before, God delights in increasing the faith of His children. Maybe what you need to do today is just turn the burdens you are carrying over to God and ask Him to help in the areas you are weak. When you turn it all over, that gives God room to work. When the storm has passed, and it will, you can look back and see how you grew in faith and grew closer to God.
It is not God’s intention for us to have doubts and unbelief. It is certainly not His intention for us to stay there. However, He can use it for good and make us stronger through it. Don’t stay in the land of doubt, with God’s power, push through to greater faith.
