WHY DO CHRISTIANS SUFFER?
Message # 5
COMFORT THAT SHOULD BE GIVEN DURING SUFFERING
2ND Corinthians 1:3-6
Introduction: This will be the final message I will be preaching on this subject. I believe that I said at the beginning that this series would not be an exhaustive subject. There is much more that could be said. It was not my idea to build this subject in such a way as to make you think that all the ideas and problems could be answered with these few messages.
I want to repeat a statement that I have made over and over again so that you will not misunderstand. Suffering is a universal occurrence. This world itself is suffering.
Romans 8:22
“For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.”
Animals as well as children suffer. Many of you saw the pictures of the pit bulls in the newspaper. But this series was not geared to the lost world, animals or children. It was geared to the suffering saint who wants a few answers. I hope you got some of the answers as you listened or read this sermon. I don’t know all the answers but I know the Lord who does.
Job had three friends that showed up at the beginning of his suffering. He told them in chapter sixteen that they were miserable comforters. If there are some good examples of bad examples on how to comfort someone, the book of Job would the place to learn all the great secrets on how not to comfort your friend.
It is my desire in this final message to try and give you some insights in how to comfort someone who is suffering. One person said people do not want to know how much you know until they know that you care.
Compassion is marvelous quality to have. Jude speaks of this in his small, yet powerful book of the New Testament.
Jude 22
“And of some have compassion, making a difference”
Let me give you a few thoughts about compassion in the life of a Christian.
1. You want it when you hurt.
2. It cost little.
3. It makes you more like Christ.
4. It may be the tool God uses to reach a lost person.
In our text we see several thoughts worth exploring as we journey toward the message of the hour.
1. Our Heavenly Father is the only source that we should need for comfort. But most of us are like the child who was afraid during the storm. He called to his mother and wanted her to sleep with him. She reminded him that the Lord was with Him. He told her he wanted some flesh and blood to comfort him.
2. When we allow the Lord to comfort us, we have ammunition to use to help others. God draws to the Word of God for comfort. That is what we ought to use when dealing with others. Your opinion is basically useless. Opinions are like noses. Most people have one.
3. We are going to suffer but if it is not because of sin, then it is in the will and control of the Lord. We can take heart that we have a Saviour who suffered and understands our suffering.
We are to be one who can comfort others. It is part of the growing up process that Paul gives us in Romans chapter twelve. Romans 12:15
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
I have three main thoughts about comforting others that I want to give you today. It is my desire as a pastor to comfort those who need comfort.
I. WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT PREVENTS US FROM COMFORTING OTHERS?
You would be surprised of the people who don’t want to comfort others. It is nothing less than being selfish. The shame of the matter that many times as we grow older that we get a smaller and smaller world that includes less and less people. No matter how old or sick we get, we must remember others. It is part of the key to having a life that impacts others even as we grow older. I mentioned in this series Miss Lizzie. With the exception of the last two weeks she was alive, her whole life was impacting others. I still have birthday cards from her with a short note letting me know that she was praying for me and encouraged me.
What prevents us from comforting others other than selfishness?
A. Pride
We don’t want others to see the private side of us that others don’t know. I am speaking from two prospective areas. One is being a man and the other is a pastor. Many men don’t others to think that they hurt. It is an ego thing. What is worse that it is the sin of pride. Some men never shed a tear at a funeral because they don’t want to thought as weak. The strongest man that ever lived is our Lord Jesus. He wept when His friend died. He was not weeping because the situation was helpless and hopeless. He knew that He had the power and was the power that overruled death. He wept because some of the closest friends He had on earth was hurting. Spurgeon called Jesus’ tears the mourner’s choicest gem of comfort.
As a pastor, I know men who are like steel and concrete when it comes to emotional comfort. They would not shed a tear at a funeral to save their own lives. I believe it is “professional pride”. I realize that the family looks to you for strength but they need to see a tender side of the pastor also. I remember when a family member died, I was not asked to preach the funeral. The local pastor was asked. It was almost like it was all cut and dry to him. He seemed not to have any compassion within him whatsoever.
B. Never had any real suffering before this time
This prevents us from comforting others. One preacher said that he doubted that God could greatly use a person until He brings them through the valley of troubles. Why is it easier to be a grandfather than a father? One reason is that you have been through the process of fatherhood. Another reason is that they do go home at nights.
I did not understand the pain of a wayward child until I had one. Now I understand what some parents have suffered since I have walked down that path. Before criticizing those parents for having a wayward child, remember there is a Father who has had many wayward children. “Who is that?” you may ask. Our Heavenly Father has had many wayward children. In fact, it is a strong possibility that every person who is saved in this room has strayed from God.
I mentioned that I had little or no sympathy for those with diseases years ago. As having a disease in which there is no cure yet, I am more sympathetic to those who are sick.
C. Not sure what to say or do is another reason why we don’t try to comfort others. That is one of the reasons for a message such as this.
These are not the only reasons why we don’t try to comfort others. But they are to spark a thought process for us to examine yourself if you are not trying to comfort others.
II. WHAT PROVISIONS DO WE NEED TO COMFORT OTHERS?
You have the several tools in your arsenal to be used in times of comfort.
A. Your Bible is the best tool you have. I remember very distinctively the Prayer Advance in which Brother Keith Daniel spoke. In one of the last messages that he preached, he spoke on the comfort and encouragement he got from the Word of God. He made very little comments about these verses. They spoke for themselves. Let me give you a few to be a help to you when dealing with those who need comfort.
Psalm 119:15-16
“I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.”
Psalm 119:25
“My soul cleaveth unto the dust: quicken thou me according to thy word.”
Psalm 119:28
“My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word.”
Psalm 119:49-50
“Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.”
Psalm 119:65
“Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O LORD, according unto thy word.”
You cannot give any more of the Bible that you don’t know. When you come to a friend who is hurting and needs comfort, what better tool do you have outside of your Bible? The obvious answer is none. I have a life verse. I have never known why I chose this verse. I do remember when it became real in my life. Let me give it to you. Then give you the instant I learned the reality of the verse.
Isaiah 41:10
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
The year is 1988. Wanda’s uncle showed up at my in-laws’ home dying. He had been involved with sin for many years and now it was time to pay the piper so to speak. He had not seen the boys since Ian was a baby and wanted to see them before he died. Wanda and I both knew that he was lost and he was dying. So we decided that we would witness to him when they came to see the boys. Several things prevented this from happening. So when he left to go back to my in-laws’, I warned my father-in-law that it would not be but a few days until Bill would be back in the hospital perhaps for the last time. A few days later, the call came from them that Bill was back in the hospital. We were brokenhearted over the situation, knowing that he was lost and would die and go to hell. So with some thoughts from Wanda, I wrote him a long letter witnessing to him. I reminded him of his mother getting saved no long before she died. I was pretty preachy in the letter. When I showed to Wanda, she pointed out that fact. I told her that this was time that it needed to be done. She agreed and mailed it the next day. Her uncle got the letter a day or two later. When he got it, one of the soul winners from my mother-in-law’s church came to the hospital to see Bill like he had done many times before that day. Bill held up the letter and said he wanted to do what Wanda’s letter had said. The soul winner glanced at the letter and knew that Bill wanted to get saved. Bill bowed his head and asked God to save him. A few weeks later, Bill died. I was asked to have a part in his funeral. I had never had a funeral before. I was not sure what to do. The only comforting thought I had was that Bill had got saved. So I built my first funeral message around that thought. I was sitting on the platform of the church waiting my turn when I looked around the room and saw a hundred or so people looking at me. I said to myself, “I cannot do this.” Those words had hardly come out of my mind when my life’s verse kicked in. The Lord reminded me that precious truth. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” When the Lord reminded me that He would be with me and that He would strengthen me, it was almost like steel got in my backbone. I preached that message on how Bill got saved. Several of his friends from his old life style were there. None got saved that day but I heard later that one of them did get saved. One of the men who was one of the pallbearer I knew. He was a seventy some year old Catholic. He walked up to me and told me that he had never heard it like that before.
What helped comfort me on that day has been a help and comfort to others! I have quoted or had people looked up my life’s verse the night before surgery.
The Bible is the first and best tool in your arsenal to help comfort others. You will never know what God is going to use from your Bible to help others. That should not be the reason why you read your Bible regularly to find some thing to help someone else. You should read it to get strength for you but one of the side benefits is help for others.
B. Your songbook is another tool.
How many times have you been down and depressed and hear a song that lifted you out of that hole you have found yourself? If that song helped you, why would not it help someone else? I have seen over and over the times in the nursing home, folks who were afraid and scared, yet when the songs of Zion were sung, they smiled with the joy of the Lord becoming their strength.
One such song which one of my favorite has these words as their chorus.
Stepping Ashore
Oh, think to step on shore,
And find it Heaven!
To clasp a hand,
And finding it is God’s!
To breathe new air,
And finding it celestial!
Of waking up in glory
And finding you’re home!
I would not be able to give all the songs or choruses that have helped me. But this is not a new concept. God left it in the Word of God.
Ephesians 5:19
“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord”
Colossians 3:16
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
Psalm 32:7
“Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.”
Psalm 28:7
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.”
You ought to keep a song on your heart for you may never know when you or someone else may need that for comfort.
C. Prayer is a powerful tool of comfort.
Never underestimate the power and comfort of prayer. Prayer is an essential tool in dealing with the suffering. James 5:13-15
“Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.”
You should pray before you go to the person you are trying to comfort. You should be praying as you are trying to comfort them and before you leave, pray with them. Let them know that you care enough to pray.
I realize that I have not said much about prayer but you should be mature enough as a Christian to know about prayer. Have you ever meet someone that you enjoy hearing pray? I am thinking of one of the preachers that I hear on the radio. I enjoy his praying.
Be famous for being a person of prayer. When D. L. Moody died, R. A. Torrey was the man who preached his funeral. I have a copy of that funeral somewhere. One of the things that have stuck out in my mind is that Brother Torrey said that Moody was a better prayer-er than preacher. What a great compliment that was!
D. The touch of your hand is a great arsenal. Many people respond to a pat on the hand greatly. Too many times nurses don’t utilize that powerful tool. They are busy but just a gesture of patting the person on the hand or gently pat their cheek will do more than all the medicine and treatments combined.
That light touch says I love you and care about what you are going through. This costs you nothing.
III. WHAT ARE THE POINTERS SHOULD WE HAVE IN COMFORTING OTHERS?
A. Be brief. One of the reasons why the friends of Job went wrong was they stayed too long. Time is precious to everyone but someone suffering physically does not need you hanging around for hours. If you are cleaning their house, that is entire different situation but brevity is better than a long period of time.
B. Don’t offer false hope. If the person is dying with a disease that cannot be cured, don’t lie to them and tell them that they are going to get better. That is only partly true. When they died and go to heaven, they will be better. This person is suffering.
C. Don’t give unscriptural assurances. I read this last week but it fits here too.
· “Well, God must have needed him up there in heaven to help him out.” Why? Did God run out of angels? Of all the people in the world, why my mother? Why my little brother? What’s God’s problem?
· “Your Mother is up there in heaven smiling down on you, right now.” Well, it might be a nice idea, but it has absolutely no Biblical support. We have support for God smiling upon those who love Him, but the Bible says nothing about dead people smiling down upon us from heaven.
· “When a person dies, God put a special star in the sky. When you go out at night and look up and see the stars, one of those is Uncle Harry just twinkling away at us.” Where on earth did we get an idea like that? Let’s not get into strange, extra-Biblical notions that end up being more of a problem than help.
D. I mention this previously but pray with the person before you leave. Ask for permission first. It is their home or time you are involved.
E. Be a good listener. They may have to say something that you need to know. They need a sounding board and you, as the comforter is the sounding board.
F. Remember it may be you that needs comforting one day. Luke 6:31; 38 “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”
I have seen this true in my life more and more as I grow older. I have seen acts of kindness done for my family or myself when have been hurting. Some of the short years of ministry have been repaid in ways.
Conclusion: What kind of comforter are you? Job called his friends miserable comforters.
This song ought to be our theme. Let me read the first verse and the chorus.
Make Me a Blessing
Out on the highways and byways of life,
Many are the weary and sad;
Carry the sunshine where darkness is rife,
Making the sorrowing glad.
Chorus
Make me a blessing, make me a blessing;
Out of my life may Jesus shine.
Make me a blessing, O Saviour I pray,
Make me a blessing to someone today.
There are lots of Christians suffering. We are to be a comfort just like God comforted us.
Freedom Baptist Church Sunday Morning
6.20.04
