"The Dilema of Divorce" Mark 10: 1-12
Richard F. Harsell friendshippastor@yahoo.com
The issue of divorce among believers has been
a centuries-old problem within the Church
which remains a spiritual "hot potato" still
today. Here in America, statistics tell us
that 43% of first-time marriages end in
either separation or divorce.
50 years ago, divorces were a rarity among
Christians. Furthermore, when church members
got divorced, they seldom remarried, because
they were convinced that to remarry while
one’s former spouse was still alive was to
enter into an adulterous relationship.
Many of us present here today can remember
a time when most pastors of major
denominational churches would completely
refuse to perform marriages for previously-
divorced persons if either partner had a
living former spouse. And formerly-divorced
people who went ahead and remarried while
their former spouses were still living were
considered to be "living in sin" and in
many cases ran into difficulty if they
desired to become members of most
evangelical churches.
And most certainly, any minister who was
a victim of a broken marriage would never
be considered for a pastoral role in any
main-line church
For thousands of years, the church has not
really known what to do with people who
have been victims of divorce, and they; to
some degree; have been guilty many times of
treating such people as kind of "spiritual
lepers," and condemning divorce as if it
were the "second unpardonable sin" which
would plague those unfortunate enough to be
its victims for the rest of their lives
But times have changed, and divorce has
become common within the ranks of all
evangelical Christian churches,
especially in the past few decades.
I’d venture to say that nearly all of us
are acquainted with people who are
products of broken marriages, whether
they be among our friends, families, or
acquaintences, and the church has been
forced, although often with a great deal of reluctance, to adapt to the situation.
I, for one, feel that these adapations
are long overdue!
Today it is a rare thing for a church to
refuse membership to a couple because one
or even both parties have been previously
divorced. The former stigma that had been
attached to divorced people for centuries
has lessened greatly and it is common to
find previously-divorced and remarried
people serving both as officers and
teachers in many churches. In addition,
we even find a number of prominent
evangelists and pastors who are included
in this statistic as well.
But even though the attiudes of people and
even churches have become much more relaxed
on the subject of divorce, a number of
questions still remain for the evangelical
Christian who seeks to be Scripturally correct regarding divorce and remarriage. Is divorce a
sin which God holds against a person for the
rest of his or her life, and is that sin
compounded to even a greater degree, if that
person elects to remarry into what Scipture
terms an "adulterous" relationship?
Furthermore, if a person has been a victim
of divorce and has remarried, does he or she
live in a continual state of adultery?
And finally, is there forgiveness for the
sin of adultery?
This unfortunately, has remained one of those
"gray areas" of theology which the majority
of preachers have chosen not to address
through the years, for fear of causing
embarrassment, if not open rebellion in the
ranks of their congregations. Among Southern
Baptists, for the most part, pastors are
pretty-well left to decide the issue for
themselves based on their personal convictions,
in how to handle the questions which arise
concerning divorcees.
I find that my own personal conviction on the
subject was greatly influenced by a statement
made years ago by one of my college professors
who had been my former pastor as well: In a
class on pastoral practices one student
brought up the question about performing
marriages for people who had previously
lived together in an unwed state, and as we
discussed the subject it sort of "self-
enlarged" to include people who had been
previously divorced as well. How were we
to balance our "right-wing" interpretations of
Scripture with compassion and Christian love
to an ever-enlarging group of hurting people?
When questioned on the subject, our wizened
professor, who was normally an ultra-
conservative man in every way, made a remark
which took most of the class by surprise in saying, "if I am so self-righteous that I
feel a conviction against dispensing
the ordinance of marriage to sinners, which
will bring them OUT of a sinful situation,
then who am I to share the love of Jesus
with them and their need for Him in their
lives?
As we see in the Genesis account, which was
later affirmed by Jesus, God’s original plan concerning the maritial relationship was that
a man and woman be joined together as husband
and wife and remain in that state for all
their years on earth, as was the example
of Adam and Eve. In the succeeding years
through the generations of Adam’s descendents
and particularly among the Hebrew Partiarchs,
we find that women ocupied very subordinate
positions to their husbands and were completely subjected to the husband’s will in literally every area of life. Women were, considered as little more than "possessions." of their husbands, and should a wife became quarrelsome or difficult to get-along-with, her husband had the option of just sending her to another tent and forgetting about her.
Add to this the fact that men were free to take as many wives as they chose and that in most cases
only men could issue bills of divorcement, it makes sense that there is no mention of the practice
in Scripture until we come to the provisions of law given by Moses at the time of establishment of
the Jewish nation. It is apparent that divorce had become a common practice by that time, and as
Moses was dictating the laws that would govern the Theocratic system of government under which
the Jews would live, apparently the issue of divorce was brought up.
We find the subject addressed in Deuteronomy 24 directing that if a man married a woman and found something "indecent" about her, he could terminate the marriage by simply presenting her with a certificate of divorce. However,this left the question of what constituted "indecency" open to differing men’s interpretation: For instance, the noted Rabbi Shammai’ advocated that only unchastity or adulterous conduct were grounds for divorce, while in contrast, the ultra-liberal Rabbi Hillel placed great stess on the words as renderd in KJV "she finds no favor in [her husband’s] eyes," and contended that a man was justified in divorcing his wife for even the flimsiest of excuses, such as "burning his dinner, failing to season his food properly, the smallest infraction of Mosaic law, or even speaking so loudly that the neighbors could overhear her voice." Still other ultra-liberal rabbis taught that a man had the right to divorce his wife, simply if he found another woman that he liked better. Sounds a lot
like today doesn’t it?
Another thing of note was that no provision whatsoever was made for a woman who was unfortunate
enough to be given a bill of divorce by her husband: She could be sent away completely empty-handed and there was no appeal. And should this occur, the
unofrtunate woman’s only options were to return home to her family in disgrace, providing they would accept her; or barring that, to turn to begging or prostitution in order to survive. It truly was a "man’s world" in the Jewish society for hundreds of years and even up to the time that our LORD Jesus Christ appeared on the scene.
It is said that a popular prayer among Hebrew men of that era was,..."LORD, I give You thanks that I was born neither a Gentile nor a woman!"
But moving on, as we examine the sin of adultery we note that it was indeed a violation of the 7’th
Commandment of Mosaic Law. However, the word
"adultery" had come to have a peculiar significance in Jewish thought by the time of Jesus’ earthly ministry: A Hebrew man might have more than one wife, a few concubines as well (to whom he was legally married, although concubines did not have the status of a wife) and he might even have sexual relations with his woman servants, and slaves as well, without being considered guilty of the sin of adultery. By the common interpretation of that time, "adultery" only occured if a man had relations with the free wife of another Hebrew.
All one need do is read the accounts of Abraham or
his grandson Jacob’s lives to clearly see a clear
illustration of what I’m talking about.
Moving on to the subjects of adultery and divorce in the New Testament we find that they were addressed by Jesus as part of the Sermon on the Mount as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew, and it may well be that Mark is making reference to these same remarks in his Gospel account which constitutes our text today.
Understanding the prevalent attitude of the Jewish people toward such practices, we can well- imagine the impact which Jesus words had that day as he declared that "anyone who [so much as] looked at a woman lustfully had already committed adultery with her in his heart" Thus He was stating that the sin of adultery is as much a matter of a person’s thoughts as it is a sin of physical action. He then delivered a "second blow" to His listeners by declaring that
divorce for ANY reason other than maritial infidelity leads to the sin of adultery if either party
remarried, as we later read in Matthew 19:9
Where Moses condescended to allow divorce as a sort of "necessary evil" for the Jewish people, we see, in contrast, that Jesus was much more rigid on the subject for those who wished to be His followers and He went on to put narrow limits on what constitutes just cause for divorce and remarriage. The Apostle Paul is the only other of the New Testament authors to address the subject of divorce and he limits his remarks to his First Epistle to the Corinthian Church where he instructs the people concerning desertion by non-beliving maritial parters: He instructs them that if an unbelieving (or non-Christian) husband or wife decides to leave the maritial relationship, to "let them go!" But he does NOT make this license for the deserted Christian to remarry. In fact, there is some small degree of speculation among certain Bible scholars that Paul might well have been
describing his own maritial situation in these verses. But whatever the case that existed, still we see no exception made in Paul’s writings regarding the the rules laid down earlier by Jesus as being
grounds for divorce and remarriage among believers.
This brings about the dilema which countless people, both believers and non-believers; find themselves envolved in today: somewhere along the way they have been a partner in an unsuccessful marriage which ended in divorce on grounds other than maritial infidelity. There are dozens of reasons that people get divorced today, and any attempt to discuss what constitutes appropriate grounds according to civil law goes beyond the scope and intent of this sermon. In fact, most states have enacted what are known as "no fault" divorce laws which allow either party in a marriage to divorce one-another simply because they discover they are incompatible. But whatever the reason for obtaining a divorce, the problem among Christians comes when they find another person, fall in love, and wish to re-marry.
In the early days of the Old Catholic Church which evolved from the First Century Apostolic Church,
the Pope alone could grant permission for remariage after a divorce, and excommunication from the church was the penalty (and still is) for Catholics who remarry without such permission.
History recalls the example of King Henry VIII who attempted to divorce his first wife Katherine
in order to marry Anne Bolen. The Pope’s refusal to allow it caused Henry to sever national ties with
Rome and the founding of the Church of England.
However, even this "new" church which was much more tolerant concerning questions of divorce, retained the right of the British Parliament to license remarriage following a divorce.
Today divorce and remarriage have evolved from regulation by the Church to civil matters governed
by law, and people are pretty much free to do as
they wish regarding the matter, with even judges and some public officials empowered to solemnize marriages.
But as previously stated, the problem of reconciling remarriage after a divorce under the law of the land with the teachings of Jesus Christ, leaves many Christian people in sort of a spiritual limbo - especially those who are active Christians. The situations and circumstances are too numerous in scope to address, but there are a number of Biblical guidelines which I believe are applicable to all Christian believers: First, to the believer who has been divorced and later has remarried and is seeking to live a life which is pleasing to Christ; Second, to the believer who has been divorced and is considering remarriage; and Third, to the believer who has been an innocent victim of divorce and feels he or she must remain single to avoid the sin of adultery.
And let me quickly interject a thought here as well:
people who are victims of divorce many times are some of the most-hurting people in the world.
They are well-aware of their sin and failures, and need the love, understanding, and compassion of the
church as well as the consolation of Christian people, and not our jugdements nor our condemnation.
In the next few minutes we are going to look into God’s Word and attempt to answer some very pertinent quesitons concerning divorce and remarriage. A few of us may be surprised at what Scripture has to say on the subject, but hopefully the eyes and hearts of all of us will be opened by what we find today: First Scripture declares in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce and both divorce and adultery are sin in His eyes..............there is no getting around this fact! Nor, do we have any intention of trying
to do so. Secondarily, and more important, nowhere in all the Bible are either of these failures on the part of people referred to as the "second unpardonable sin"
The key to forgiveness of the sin of divorce as well as the sin of adultery is the same as it is for all other sin: And that, very simply stated, is through acknowledgement of that sin, and confessing it before God, then earnestly repenting of that sin and asking forgiveness in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
But now comes the good news. If you are a born-again Child of God through acceptance of Christ as your personal Savior, every LAST ONE of your sins is forgiven and forgotten by God, INCLUDING the sins of divorce and adultery.
1 John 1:9 states "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and
purify us from all unrighteousness." Romans 8:1 further declares that "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." That means that no-matter what your sins - if they occured BEFORE you became a Child of God, they were forgiven and cast away into the sea of forgetfulness the very moment you accepted Christ as your Savior, to never be remembered against you again. If you were ALREADY a born-again Child of God when you fell into the sins of divorce and/or adultery, these sins automatically (for lack of a more appropriate term) come under the atoning blood of Christ and have ALREADY been forgiven you. That means that you are no-longer bound by the constraints of any past sin if you are a born-again Child of God. Once more, let us look to the words of 1 John, "the blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin" v:7 and that word "all" includes past.resent, and future sin.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible, and one which puts the issues of divorce and remarriage into what I believe is proper perspective is found in Chapter 4 of John’s gospel where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well of Sychar. This is a woman who has been married and divorced not once, but five times, and she is now "shacking-up" with a fellow she hasn’t even bothered to marry. This is the same woman who has just been gracious enough to give Jesus a drink from her water jar.
It definitely is not our Lord’s intent to repay her kindness with words of condemnation as He points out the sinful situaiton in which she is involved. However, the key to forgiveness is owing up to and
then confessing the sin in our lives. We may or may not be aware of it, but we must face the reality of ALL OUR SIN and then confess it before Christ. As the woman speaks with Jesus she begins to gradually understand that the "living water" which He has been telling her about is a spiritual cleansing and rebirth through repentence and placing her faith in Him.
You will further note that Jesus does NOT instruct her to go back to her first, the last, nor any of her
former husbands. He simply invites her to give Him the broken pieces of her life and to allow Him
to put them back together for her once again. Furthermore, there is no evidence that He then treated her as some sort of "second-class Christian" because of her past sin.
Quite the contrary, because v: 39 says that she went through all the community testifying about what
Jesus had done in her life. And v: 40 tells us that many of the people who heard her words became
believers as well because of her testimony. If you are God’s child, you are forgiven and free to get
on with serving Him in spite of what may lay in your past. What God has cleansed, no man nor religious institution has the option of calling "unclean or unfit for God’s service!" Jesus Christ is not at all interested in where you were ten years ago, six months ago, or even yesterday. It’s where you are today and where you will be tomorrow that counts with Him, and He is willing to forgive your sin (no matter how bad it might be) and restore you simply if you will repent and place your faith in Him today.
