HOME BUILDERS:
THE MAN’S ROLE IN THE HOME
Ephesians 5:21-31
INTRODUCTION:
A. This week I ran across a list of things you’ll never hear Dad say–Here are the top 4.
ILL> Top 4 Things You’ll Never Hear Dad Say
4. Hey, kids, your mother and I are going away for a few days. You might want to consider throwing a party while we’re gone.
3. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for all of us.
2. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
1. Well, how ‘bout that. I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
1. This morning we are finishing up a series of sermons called "Home Builders"
2. Since it is Father’s Day I thought that it would be appropriate to talk about the role of Dad in the household–specifically, Dad’s relationship with Mom
ILL> A panel of women debated on what they thought would be the perfect man, a guy who was "with it," the man of every woman’s dreams. You would have thought they would have decided upon some actor (Tom Cruise) or even a wealthy tycoon (Donald Trump). They decided that the perfect man was MR POTATO HEAD. There were 4 reasons: he’s tan, he’s cute, he know the importance of accessorizing, and if he looks at another woman you can rearrange his face.
3. The relationship between a husband and wife is so important as it affects the entire household
a. It is difficult, if not impossible, to build a strong home when the relationship between Mom and Dad is not what it should be
b. That’s why the Apostle Paul emphasizes mutual submission as he writes to husbands and wives
c. READ: Ephesians 5:21-31
4. Once again, the key to this entire passage is verse 21
a. That word submit means to willingly put yourself in line with the other person–a yielding to authority
b. The husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church
c. And Paul reminds us here that Christ gave His own life in order that the Church might live
I> SACRIFICIAL LOVE (VS 25)
A. Baseball is the only sport that I know of where "sacrifice" is part of the game
1. You don’t have the sacrifice putt in golf
a. You don’t have the sacrifice run in football
b. But you do have the sacrifice fly and the sacrifice bunt in baseball.
ILL> Baseball fans understand the importance of sacrifice. A man hit a sacrificial fly or lays down a sacrificial bunt. He takes the out while allowing the runners to move around the bases or to score a run. He makes the out. He hurts his own batting average. Players do it because the team is more important than the individual. It’s the team that matters.
2. Having a wife means giving up some of the things you like to do
a. Having children means that you give us some of the things you like
b. You may willing sacrifices because sacrifice and love go hand in hand
c. We can see that in the first verse that many of us memorized as children
d. John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
3. When is the last time you gave yourself for your wife–not to your wife?
ILL> Guideposts, Dec 1988 (Judy Rogers)
In the fourth year of his layoff from his job, Dad gave Mom a dishwasher for Christmas. You have to understand the magnitude of the gift: Our old house had its original wiring and plumbing, and neither could handle the required installation. There was no spot in the small kitchen for such a large appliance. And we hadn’t even been able to meet the mortgage interest payments for over six months. But Dad hated the thought of washing dishes; he would rather do anything else. And Mom had undergone major surgery that spring, a radical mastectomy for breast cancer, and found it difficult to do any work requiring the use of her arms. (When Christmas came)No large box appeared, no new plumbing or wiring was installed, no remodeling of the kitchen occurred. Rather, a small note appeared on a branch of the Christmas tree, handwritten by Dad: "For one year I will wash all of the dirty dishes in this household. Every one."
She adds, "And he did. He really did."
4. That is what sacrificial love looks like
II> SANCTIFYING LOVE (VS26)
A. "Sanctify" means holy
1. We are to love our wives in such a manner that we honor God
a. That we will do nothing to bring shame on them
b. We are to love them in such a way that we do not damage their reputation
2. If we love someone we will do all we can to allow them to remain pure
a. A man who loves his wife-to-be or his girl friend will do nothing to destroy her purity.
ILL> How many times have fellows used the line, "If you really love me, you’ll make love to me." If you really loved her, you would help her to stay pure.
ILL> It hasn’t been that many years ago when only those women who were still virgins wore white on their wedding day and unmarried couples who were living together were not discussed openly, but only discussed in behind the scene gossip sessions.
Sadly, now it is rare for me to do a wedding for a couple that is not living together. Even more rare to marry a couple that is not at least sexually active.
3. Oftentimes people will move in together in order to get to know each other better–that way they will be more prepared for marriage–or at least that’s what they say
a. When you do that you are building your relationship outside of the will of God
b. It can be difficult to get it back on the right track
4. Marriage is a commitment
a. It’s sad when only one is committed to the relationship
ILL> I heard of a couple who, as the were paying for groceries in the check-out line, were discussing their soon to be 50th wedding anniversary, when the young cashier interjected by saying, "I can’t imagine being married to the same man for 50 years!"
The wife wisely replied, teaching the young girl a lesson at the same time, "Well, Honey, don’t get married until you can."
B. The man who truly loves his wife will not lead her into sin, but will try to help her grow in Christ
1. He will encourage her to live for Jesus and he will I’ve for Jesus also.
a. Sanctify her–set her apart
2. There should be no other woman in the world that you treat better than your wife
a. She is your companion and helper
b. God has blessed you with her
ILL> Kay’s grandparents. They had been married more than 60 years, but when he looked at her, there was a sparkle in his eye. He was still smitten. He was in love.
3. Set her apart–lift her up–sanctify her
a. "But you don’t know what kind of woman I’m married to"
Sanctify her
b. "But she always..."
Sanctify her
c. "But every time I try to..."
Sanctify her
4. Understand that when you sanctify her, you’re doing it in the expectation not of what she IS, but what she WILL BE...!
a. You see, none of us are perfect...!
b. But thank God that when He looks at us, He’s not looking at us based on where we are now...
c. But He looks at us based on what we shall be...!
d. He is sanctifying us–setting us apart for a holy purpose
III> SATISFYING LOVE (28-33)
A. We are to love our wives as ourselves
1. We are to be satisfied with our wives
a. Are not to be fantasizing about other women
b. Thinking if only your wife were different
ILL> 5 Questions Feared by Men
What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
What would you do if I died?
Do you think that woman is prettier than me.
To that last question, there are several wrong ways to answer.
Yes, but you have a better personality.
Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
The proper response: "What women?"
2. What you may notice, the proper attitude is to be completely devoted to your wife.
3. God formed this relationship for 3 reasons
a. Procreation
Genesis 1:28
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
b. Companionship - a helper
Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
c. Sexual fulfillment (within marriage)
1 Cor. 7:4-5
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. [5] Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
IV> A SOLID LOVE (VS 31)
A. Two objects become literally one object
ILL> I read this from another preacher.
When a man loves a woman, it’s a Solid Love. He doesn’t worry about what his mama says! Some men will never mature because they’re still mama’s little boy... (It’s all right to love your mama...) But he must recognize that a man must leave (let go of) mama and cleave to his wife in order to have a marriage (love) that is solid.!
1. Leave and cleave
ILL> When building model airplanes I use a special type of glue called "CA glue" (Cyanoacrylate Glue). One type looks almost like water. But when you put just one drop the 2 pieces become one in an instant. The only way to get it apart is to break it or cut it.
2. That is what the marriage relationship is about–2 becoming one
a. The only way it can come apart is to break it
b. When it is broken, you are left with the pieces and try to put it back together again
c.
V> CONCLUSION:
QUOTE> Josh McDowell
"The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." And the greatest thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father.
ILL> A few years ago, Ken Griffey, Jr. Chose not to attend "The Players Choice Awards" to receive the "Player of the Decade" award. Junior beat out three time MVP winner Barry Bonds and four time Cy Young Award winner, Greg Maddux for the honor.
The awards is a big deal. He joins the ranks of baseball greats Wagner, Cobb, Ruth, Foxx, Williams, Mantle, Mays, Rose, and Schmidt.
Why didn’t he go? Trey, his 5-year-old son had a baseball game that night–his first, and Junior didn’t want to miss it.
Trey is a blessed boy. Not because his father and grandfather played Major League Baseball, but because they don’t allow their moments in the spotlight to detract them from what is really important.
A. The ultimate example of sacrificial love is Jesus Christ, who left the splendors of heaven to come to earth and suffer the cross.
