Real Men Love Jesus
by Rev. Jim May
This is Father’s Day, 2004. It’s a day when we all stop for a moment to reflect on the father that we have. That reflection will either make us grateful for having a father that we can look up to and admire, or it will force us to fact the stark reality that the man who brought us into this world may be our biological father, but he isn’t, or wasn’t, a real father at all. Through the power of sin and the influence of the world, we are losing the picture of what a real man, and especially a real Father should be. Everywhere you look you can see what the world defines as a real man. I submit to you that, what the world depicts as a real man is only a shell of what God intended for a man to be.
There is a lesson that is taught in just about every psychology class, in every business seminar, and in every marriage and relationship building seminar, that goes like this:
Treat someone like they are the person you want them to be and they will eventually become that person. That is pretty good advice when you have a spouse or someone you care for who has some behavioral problems. This advice often works to improve their behavior if you have the patience to wait for the change to happen. The problem is that this advice can also work in reverse.
Through repeated attempts to change someone by using subliminal messages and placing before them examples of what you think that they should be, people can be eventually molded and influenced to become like the picture you place before them. Just in case you don’t think that this is true, I going to prove it to you this morning.
Seated in this congregation right now are a number of men that are shining examples of what God expects of a man and a father. But you don’t have to take many steps until you will find men who are falling prey to the image that the world has set before them. They are losing, or have already lost, their place in the home, in the marriage, in society and in the eyes of God. They are failures as men and fathers, though the world may look at them as a great success in business and in the ways of the world.
God measures success in a far different fashion than the world does. Mankind has developed a warped sense of values and has certainly developed a different vision of what real manhood is all about.
I want to use two men this morning to give you an example of what I am talking about. I want every man in this congregation, and yes, every woman in this congregation, to get a clear picture of what God expects in a man, a husband and a father. I want us to measure ourselves to see how close we come to what God would call a successful father.
Genesis 3:17-24, "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them. And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."
God created Adam to be the father of the human race and created Eve to be the mother of all living. They were created perfect in every way and for a time they lived up to their roles as the man and woman that God intended for them to be. But it wasn’t long until Satan began to warp their sense of values through lying and deceitfulness.
Satan knows his business. He knows the weakness of every one of us and he knows exactly how to get at us if we allow it. He knew that the way to get to Adam was through his wife, Eve. Satan did not come to Adam first to tempt him with the apple from the Tree of the Knowledge of God and Evil. He knew that Eve would be easier to tempt first and so he did just that. Eve fell prey, not because of a lack of intelligence, not because she had a weaker will than Adam, but because she was so willing to believe the lies of the Devil.
But it was not just Eve that Satan was after. She was made from man; made as a help-meet and a companion for Adam. Adam had been created first in the very image of God. (Those who say that God should be referred to as an it, or who claim that God is a woman, should pay attention.) Because it was Adam that was made in God’s image, and Satan hates God, his foremost intention is to destroy the man that constantly reminds him of God. How best to destroy this man whom God has created than to get to him through the woman that man loved?
Ever since that day, Satan’s primary attack against the family, and against man, has come through the woman. Satan has cheapened women through pornography, through the power of fleshly lusts, and through their nurturing nature, and done everything in his power to utterly destroy the relationships between men and women. He has nearly succeeded in completely destroying the family unit, and as a result, his destruction of mankind and society is nearly complete.
But most of the blame for the fall of man into sin lies squarely on the shoulders of Adam. If he had resisted the devil and not taken a bite out of sin, there would have been no fall in the Garden. It was Adam’s desire for the pleasures of the flesh, and his decision to listen to the voice of the devil and the voice of this wife instead of the voice of God, that brought mankind down into the depths of sin.
Adam and Eve lost out with God because they didn’t hold true to God’s ways of righteousness. They chose the things of this world above the things of God.
Men are still doing the same things today and we keep going deeper and deeper into the depths of sin. Years ago, when I was just beginning to work in ministry, I would look around and see the sin that was around me and I remember often thinking to myself, “how far in sin can we go. Things are so bad, people are so rebellious, their lifestyles represented the drug culture, the hippy era, war and conflict around the globe, homes where the children were suffering while dad had his way, and families were breaking up everywhere.” Folks, that was back in the 1960’s. Now I look back at those days and think of them as the “good old days”. How much farther into sin has this world gone since then? How far will we go before the Second Coming of Christ puts an end to the devil’s lies?
Adam and Eve had children but I don’t see where Adam ever really took control of his family the way he should have. I don’t think that Adam ever built an altar. I don’t read where Adam ever turned back to God and led his family back to the Creator. From that moment, and to this day, Adam’s main thoughts are for what he wants and nothing else.
He paid a heavy price for his sin. Adam’s failure to be the father that he needed to be was the only example that Cain knew and so it was that the sin of mankind grew deeper when Cain killed his brother Able and became the first murderer in the history of mankind. Death, destruction, pain, suffering and eternal judgment came because Adam wasn’t the father that he should have been.
Look around you today and you will see the same pattern repeating itself over and over in our world. Men are no longer fathers, they are rejecting their roles as God intended, and they are shirking from their responsibilities as the leader of the home, running from their responsibilities to the children that they bring into the world, and they are becoming more and more effeminate as the days pass.
What kind of definition do we see portrayed of a father now? Have you seen the way that men are depicted on the TV set, on the billboards, in the movies or in the news?
One popular sitcom on TV called “Married with Children” has given such a warped view of fatherhood that I refused to watch it. Thank God I think that it is finally off the air, but the problem is that what we have now is even worse.
In that sitcom, and in so many commercials and other shows, the “man of the house” is shown to be some weak-kneed, mamby-pamby, do nothing, lazy, sitting on the sofa scratching himself, beer guzzling, useless, gullible and weak-minded excuse for a human being. He certainly doesn’t have the ability to take charge of his family. His children think of him as an idiot and his wife thinks even less of him. I think that these types of programs have programmed men to begin to act the way that they are shown.
We, as a nation, have lost sight of what a real man is all about.
A real Father, and a real man is one that isn’t a man that is:
-Lying in bed with a head cold, whimpering like a child, crying for his wife to bring him a Tylenol.
-Being totally preoccupied with sports, newspapers or the TV, while his wife is forced to take care of the family business and train the kids.
-Being a stay at home dad because he is too lazy to get a job while his wife is forced to be the breadwinner.
-Being too committed to his career that he doesn’t have time to the play ball, or spend time with his kids.
-Forcing his wife to make all the decisions because it’s just too much trouble and he has too many other things to do.
-Being so self-centered that he doesn’t have time to go to church with his kids, or pray with them, or teach them about Jesus.
-Ignoring the needs of his family while he stays out late with the guys in the local strip joints and bars.
All of these things are terrible but it gets worse. Now we see that the family is really being destroyed in an unprecedented manner. The Gay Rights Movement is succeeding in totally redefining what a family, and being a father, are all about.
In recent months we have seen a huge increase and, in some states, even legalization of gay and lesbian marriages. Marriages and homes that will adopt children and raise them in an environment where “Mom and Dad” are named Eve and Yvette; or where “Mom and Dad” are named Adam and Bill. What kind of warped values are going to come from those kinds of unions? I don’t care how much the world says that these perverted lifestyles are acceptable, God still calls it sin, and not one of these people are living right before God and the generation that they will raise will bring this world into a depth of sin that is almost unimaginable. Our only hope is for Jesus to come quickly and put an end to this depravity.
Men have, refused to accept their God-ordained role as leaders in the home and surrendered that position to their wives or anyone else who will take it, including their children. How many homes today, are ruled by the children? Parent’s, and fathers, who will give their children anything and everything they want, are not building a better relationship with their kids, they are creating monsters who will expect this from everyone and who will have no respect for anyone. The sad thing is that we see this happening in the church too.
I submit to you that men who refuse to accept their role as the leader in the home, or who allow that role to go to their wives or children, aren’t real men at all, and they can never be the kind of father that God expects them to be. A real man, a real father, must step up to the plate, take the authority that God intends with love and consideration of his family’s needs. He must communicate and understand his wife; communicate and care for his children and he must assume the position as the leader and priest of his family and teach them in the ways of the Lord by his example. A real father, and a real man must do everything in his power to see that the family is taken care of, even at the expense of not getting, or not doing, what he wants for himself.
At the beginning of this decade (the 90’s) David Popenoe wrote an article entitled “A World Without Fathers.” He gave some rather depressing statistics then: In just three decades, from 1960-1990, the percentage of children living apart for their biological father has more than doubled, from 17% to 36%. It is now estimated that by the turn of the century, 50% of all American children may go to bed at night without being able to speak to their father.
So how are we doing? I am sad to say that I found at least one source which confirmed David Popenoe’s prediction.
In an article entitled "Fathering Fatherless America" Dr. Scott J. Larson reports: One in two children now grow up without a father in the United States, and in our inner cities only one in five children live with their father. A whole new mission field has developed in America: Fathering fatherless kids.
What kind of world has come from a “Fatherless America”?
Studies show that the absence of the father expresses itself in male children in two very different ways: it is linked to increased aggressiveness on one hand, and greater manifestations of effeminacy on the other. A 1987 study of violent rapists found that 60 percent of them came from single-parent homes. A Michigan State University study of adolescents who committed homicides found that 75 percent of them were from broken homes. Girls without fathers fare no better. They become sexually active sooner and are more likely to have out-of-wedlock children.
Even in those homes where there is a father there is very little communication with his wife or his children. He is too preoccupied with his own things to have time for them.
I am going to read a quote to you first and then tell you who said it:
“ A small child waits with impatience the arrival home of a parent. She wishes to relate some sandbox experience. She is excited to share the thrill that she has known that day. The time comes; the parent arrives. Beaten down by the stresses of the workplace the parent often replies: “Not know, honey, I’m busy, go watch television.” The most often spoken words in the American household today are the words: go watch television. If not now, when? Later. But later never comes for many and the parent fails to communicate at the very earliest of ages. We give her designer clothes and computer toys, but we do not give her what she wants the most, which is our time. Now, she is fifteen and has a glassy look in her eyes. Honey, do we need to sit down and talk? Too late. Love has passed by.” - These were the words of Robert Keeshan - better known to America as Captain Kangaroo.
We are in desperate need of real men and real fathers in America and in the church.
Now I want you show you a picture of a real man and a real father.
Genesis 6:8-9, "But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD. These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God."
Noah was a man who loved God first, above all else. He is called “perfect”. How many of you men would like to be called perfect by God? What a statement! What a testimony to the life of a man who was obedient to the Lord!
Noah didn’t shirk from his responsibilities to take care of this family. He didn’t shirk from his responsibility as the father of the family. Instead, he took that position of leadership and did what he knew had to be done. I’m sure that he had a lot of long conversations with his wife, and his sons, and most of all, with God.
He was willing to face the ridicule of the world while he obeyed God. He was willing to work with his hands to build the ark while the rest of the world played around in sin and called him foolish. He was willing to plant the gardens and raise his children to serve God while the whole world thought that he had lost his mind.
-Aren’t you glad that Noah didn’t have the same attitude that most men have now?
-Aren’t you glad that Noah built the ark instead of telling Eve to hire it done?
-Aren’t you glad that he worked day in and day out, for years, to obey God, rather than spend countless days on the lake fishing, or out on the links playing golf?
-Aren’t you glad that he raised his children to serve God, and taught them to work hard and help him build that ark, instead of allowing them to play all the time, giving them a new horse to ride on so they could be free to go and come as they wished, or letting them lie around the house all day playing games and sleeping on the couch?
-Aren’t you glad that he taught them a good work ethic?
-Aren’t you glad that he taught them about God and brought them into God’s place of protection from the flood that was coming?
Noah was a real father who took the reins of responsibility for his wife, his children, and for the generations that would follow, and he never looked back.
Now that’s the mark of a real man and of a real father.
For those of you who are real fathers, real men, who love Jesus this morning, we are most grateful and thankful. This is your day, and we honor you.
We honor you because you aren’t afraid to be the leader in your home.
We honor you because you love and honor your wife, and you care for your children in every way that you can, and you aren’t afraid to weep for them, pray for them and teach them by your example how to be a real father and a man of God.
We honor you because you are willing to pay the price to be what God expects you to be.
We honor you because you have your priorities straight and you rule your household well.
The world needs more like you!
For those who may be here who have fallen short of what God expects of you, I say that this Father’s Day can be a great day of honor for you as well. For this day, right now, you can turn defeat into victory and begin to be the man and the father that God wants you to be.
It’s never too late to do the right thing. It’s never too late, even though it may take a long time for old wounds to heal, for you to begin to obey the Lord and be the leader of your family that you need to be.
Your Heavenly Father loves you and he is waiting for you to come to him and turn your life around. Then not only will you receive the honor due to you as a father in this life, but God will honor you as well.
In closing I want to read to you a little poem that I wish to dedicate to my own Father who is in this service this morning, and not just to him, but to all fathers, whose children are with them today.
His shoulders are a little bent,
His youthful force a trifle spent,
But he’s the finest man I know,
With heart of gold and hair of snow.
He’s seldom cross and never mean;
He’s always been so good and clean;
I only hope I’ll always be
As kind to him as he is to me.
Sometimes he’s tired and seems forlorn,
His happy face is lined and worn;
Yet he can smile when things are bad:
That’s why I like my gray-haired dad.
He doesn’t ask the world for much--
Just comfort, friendliness, and such;
But from the things I’ve heard him say,
I know it’s up to me to pay
For all the deeds he’s done for me
Since I sat rocking on his knee;
Oh, not in dollars, dimes, or cents--
That’s not a father’s recompense;
Nor does he worship wealth and fame--
He would just have me honor Jesus’ name. – Author Unknown
