Awesome Ways to Be a Great Dad!
Various Scriptures
June 20, 2004
Introduction
Popular comedian/entertainer Bill Cosby wrote, "Now that my father is a grandfather he just can’t wait to give money to my kids. But when I was a kid and I asked him for 50 cents, he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5 a.m. when he was 7-years-old and walked 23 miles to milk 90 cows. And the farmer for whom he worked had no bucket, so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and then walk 8 miles to the nearest can. All for 5 cents. The result was...I never got my 50 cents.
"But now he tells my children every time he comes into the house, ’Well, let’s see how much money old Granddad has for his wonderful grandkids.’ And the minute they take money out of his hands I call them over to me and I snatch it away from them. BECAUSE THAT IS MY MONEY."
(Steve Shepherd – SermonCentral.com)
You know, I love being a father. It’s a great privilege and joy – most of the time. I love knowing that my children love me. I love coming home and having them glad I’m home.
I like doing things with them and for them when I can.
There are a lot of benefits to being a dad. But we have to remember that being a dad is also a great responsibility. It’s huge – immeasurable. But God has also told us that He will help us be the kind of Dad we need to be, if we will follow and listen to Him.
We’re going to have some fun this morning. I have a number of humorous illustrations that I think will help us get a grasp on being a better dad. But first I want to share…
Top 10 Things You’ll Never Hear Dad Say
10. Well, how ’bout that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.
7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating’s not good enough for you, son?
5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don’t worry about that. It’s no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don’t mean it)
(Pastor Tim’s Clean Jokes)
Well, let’s take a look at eight ways to be a great day.
1. Imitate the character of the Father whenever possible.
It’s true that many, if not most, children form their idea of God the Father based in part on what they see in their own father.
So you can see how extremely important it is that you strive to present an accurate picture of who God is.
Teaching your kiddos about God is not enough. They need to see it in you. I want to list just three areas that we need to really exhibit the character of the father. And if you can get better in these areas, you will go a long way to being a great dad:
- Forgiveness
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When our kids blow it, they need to know that forgiveness is available and right now.
When it comes to my attention that one of my children has broken a rule (or a piece of furniture, etc.), they need to know that while they will be punished, they will also be forgiven.
They need to hear it, by the way. You can’t just assume they know it. You need to be able to say, “I forgive you.”
That doesn’t mean you’re not upset, and that everything is okay. It just means that you are choosing to move on, and to not bring it up again. It’s in the past – let’s move on.
A second aspect of God’s character we should exhibit is…
- Patience.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
This passage isn’t really a parenting passage, but it shows the attitude of God to those He loves. He’s patient with you – show it to your kids. Here’s a third character quality dads should show:
- Self-sacrifice
1 John 4:9-10
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Again, this is not a parenting verse, but it illustrates the love of the Heavenly Father toward us. And that love cost Him something. In this case, it cost Him His Son.
Parenting is not a “taking” proposition – it’s a giving proposition.
These are just three areas of God’s character to imitate. If you want a really cool list of character traits of the heavenly Father you would want to imitate, check out Galatians 5:22-23 – the Fruits of the Spirit. Make those a real part of your life and watch what happens.
The second way to be a great dad is to…
2. Pray with and for your children.
I know what you’re saying: Duh!
1 Samuel 12:23
As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you.
The context of this verse is when Saul has just been anointed king of Israel. Samuel, the last of the judges, and a prophet of God is heart-broken that the people have demanded a king, because he knows that they will turn their hearts from God in the future by putting their hope in an earthly king instead of God.
And so he speaks to Israel like a father speaks to his children in this verse. It’s a great passage for dads to have in their arsenal regarding prayer, but especially in praying with and for their children.
I say pray WITH your children and not just for them. I think it’s important for our children to hear us praying for them in their presence. This is something I do with my two youngest, but I need to get back into the habit of doing this with our older ones as well.
The third way to be a great dad is to…
3. Provide for your family.
1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Now this is something that I think God puts in the DNA of every dad. Real dads want to provide for their family. It’s a rough go sometimes, but few fathers are just lazy and inconsiderate when it comes to providing for their families.
Are there exceptions? You better believe it. There are some dads who don’t care about their children or the children’s mother. This disgusts me, and I believe it disgusts God as well.
But let me just say here that for you guys trying your best to provide for your family, keep it up. God is proud of you.
Here’s the fourth way to be a great dad:
4. Encourage your children.
Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily…
It’s easy to yell at your kids. How do you think I know that? I’m not always perfect when it comes to speaking gently to my kiddos.
Sunday mornings can be stressful in any home, but when I’m trying to get ready for church, it can really get stressful. Really really stressful.
“You get dressed and eat breakfast like your mother told you so we can go to church and learn about the love of Jesus!” (Pretend to be choking the child)
I have determined that when I am with my children, especially in public, that I would be as encouraging as possible, because I think it’s a bad model to be criticizing and yelling at your children in public.
When they do something well, praise them for it. When they try hard and don’t quite make it in some endeavor, praise their effort.
But never, ever, ever, ever, ever, communicate to them, even accidentally that your acceptance of them is based on performance in any way, shape or form.
Praise them in front of the other kids, in front of the other parent, or whatever. And make sure you are noticing things to praise and encourage about all your children.
Number five on our list of ways to be a great dad is to…
5. Love your wife.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
Most of you know that I’m from a broken home. My folks split when I was about 12 years old.
And let me tell you that the scariest days of my life growing up were those when my parents were yelling and screaming. And it wasn’t just the yelling. It was the thought that they might break up, and then wondering if I had anything to do with it.
People think that the way to build security in their children is to always have them in their arms, letting them sleep in bed with them, or never leaving the house without them. Well, I hate to tell you this, but that does not build security – it builds insecurity.
Probably the best way to build security in your children is to love your wife. Let your kiddos know that their mom is the greatest thing in the world to you, and that you’ll do anything to protect her and cherish her and keep her around, because you love her.
You need to let them know that the Bible’s primary relationships between people are not between parent and child, but between husband and wife. Children are a welcome addition to the family, but the husband and wife relationship is the primary one.
When children see a strong parental relationship, it translates into security. When my parents were getting along, I could breath easier.
And in an effort to help husbands and wives get along even better, I want to give you…
THE FATHER’S DAY TOP TEN LIST OF
THINGS YOU’VE BEEN ITCHIN’TO SAY FOR YEARS NOW...
Guys, I’m doing this for you, so that you won’t have to say them, and if she gets mad, she can blame me, although I’ll just say that I got this from Ladies’ Home Journal or something.
#10 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
#9 Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
#8 Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
#7 “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
#6 Check your oil! Please, check your oil!
#5 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.
#4 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
#3 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
#2 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we…
(Donald Smith - SermonCentral.com)
Let’s move quickly to number six…
6. Teach them the Scriptures.
Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Before I get into the point I want to make in this passage, let me point out that it also says to “watch yourselves so you do not forget these things.” In other words, you better be practicing the things of Scripture in your own life.
But the point is that our children need to be exposed to the Scriptures in the home. Church is not good enough.
Did you know that it’s not the church’s responsibility, ultimately, to bring your children to faith in Christ and spiritual maturity? It’s yours! And it’s serious business. Let me offer you two primary ways this can happen. There are lots of others, but here are two:
- Systematic reading, etc.
- Life experiences.
When things happen in life, show how these are addressed in Scripture.
7. Spend time with your children.
Do I really need to even say this? If you want to be effective in these ways to be a great dad, you need to be there for them.
Yes, I know you’re busy. So am I. And quite honestly, this one is probably the hardest one for me.
You will never find a great dad who is not intentionally spending time with his children.
And not just watching TV, either. Read books, go on errands, go on trips together, or whatever. And try to do things that THEY like once in a while. Watch TV once in a while, but not all the time.
Noble and I are building a model together. It’s his first one, and the first one for me since I was a little kid. I’m sure you can think of something to do.
Let’s move on to the last way to be an awesome dad, and it’s probably one of the best ways:
8. Imitate Jesus’ passion for the Father.
Why is this so important? Because if you don’t take care of these first five ways to be a great dad, then this last one will have no validity in their lives.
Jesus uses the term “my Father” 42 times in the gospels.
Matthew 12:50
For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
Jesus’ passion wasn’t you and me. It was His Father. Everything He did He did for the glory of His Father.
What about you? Where is your passion? Is it for the Father? Do you do your work so the Father would be proud? Do you love your family in ways that would make the Father proud?
One of the things I have struggled with for all my adult life is whether I am making my earthly father proud.
There were times in my life when I was ashamed because I wasn’t in the financial position to adequately provide for my family. I knew he would understand, but I didn’t want him to know how bad we really had it.
I hadn’t held the same job for more than a couple of years until I worked for long time, because I was always trying to find something that would help me feed my family better.
When my dad is proud of me, I am glad. I like making my dad proud of me, and I pray that he is now.
But ultimately, the one I want to impress is my Heavenly Father. And so I try to raise my family to love the Father. I try to do my work so that others will want to love the Father.
Jesus said in Matthew that we are to let our good deeds shine so that the Father would receive praise from other people.
Make the Heavenly Father your passion. You will follow Jesus even better, because you will be striving for what He strove for: the glory of the Father.
Conclusion
You haven’t heard anything new, today, have you? That’s because much of what I’ve said today is Biblical, common-sense stuff that’s been around for countless centuries.
Folks, it’s just flat-out true that one of the keys to a strong family is a father who loves Jesus and lives it out, especially around his family.
A commercial on American Family Radio says that anybody can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
I hope that you can be that for your kiddos. I’m praying for you, you know. Because I’m convinced that as we help families become healthy units, then God is honored, and communities are impacted for Christ.
But listen – guys love to take on huge projects. I know, I’ve got a bunch going right now.
But let me just make a suggestion today. Take one of these and make it a part of your life beginning today, okay?
Don’t try to do them all. You won’t get them all done, you’ll end up getting frustrated, and then you’ll quit the whole deal. At least that’s the way I am.
Just pick one, and make an intentional effort to be the best dad you can be in that area, alright?
Oh yeah – one other thing. I hope you ladies weren’t going to sleep on this stuff. You need to do some of this stuff, too. And if you’re a single mom, then you have a tough row to hoe, because you have to be able to develop as many of these as possible.
But we could all use some encouragement in these areas, right?
Let me close with the immortal words of the great theologian Red Green, who says, "Remember: I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together!"
Let’s pray.
