Sermon preached by Pastor Larry on June 20, 2004
Title: A Man is the Sum of His Relationships
Text: Eph 6:4 et al
Introduction
1. Happy Father’s Day!!
• As I was praying and thinking about this special service…
• And thinking about what Father’s Day means to me…
• And what I feel like I need to hear as a father and as a man…
• I’ve come up with a sermon written for 1 person…
• Myself…
• You can all leave now…
• and I’ll just preach to myself for the next 20 minutes…
• (Just kidding!!!)
2. I want you to listen in, as I preach to myself…
• And perhaps the Lord will use this to minister to you as well.
• I have come to the conclusion that a man is the sum of his relationships.
• If you add up the quality of a man’s different relationships…
• The sum will equal the quality of the man…
• So I would like us to look at our different relationships…
• Evaluate the quality of each relationship against what God’s plan is…
• And see what kind of men we are.
Read Text:
1. A Man’s Relationship to His Children.
A. First of all, let’s look at a man’s relationship to his children.
• If it wasn’t for this special relationship, we wouldn’t be celebrating this special day that we call “Father’s Day”
• So, it’s a good place to start.
• Men, look at your relationship with your children…
• How are you doing?
• Do you spend time with your children?
• Do you express your love to your children?
• In word? In touch? In guidance?
• Do you provide guidance wrapped in love that draws them closer to the Lord?
• Or do you provide guidance that is wrapped in harshness that pushes them away?
• Paul speaks to fathers along these lines when he says, “fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Eph 6:4 (NKJV)
• Do you, as the manual says,
• “teach them early the fear of the Lord,
• watch over their education, that they not be led astray,
• direct their youthful minds to the Holy Scripture
• and their feet to the sanctuary,
• to restrain them from evil associates and habits;
• and as much as in you lies, to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”?
B. Fathers, God has entrusted those children into your care…
• they are an eternal, living soul…
• are you doing everything in your power to encourage them to follow Christ?
• I realize that children have to make up their own minds…
• And their choices are their own…
• But that doesn’t absolve of us from doing everything we can to win them to Christ…
• As long as both of you and your child are living.
C. So if a man really is the sum of his relationships…
• How are you doing in this area?
• Evaluate yourself…
• Better yet, let the Holy Spirit speak evaluate you according to God’s plan for you as a father.
2. But there are other relationships we need to look at…how about a man’s relationship to his parents?
A. Scripture tells us to “Honor your father and your mother”
• What is your relationship like with your parents?
• Do you honor your parents?
• Do you love your parents AND let them know that you love them?
• Do you pray for them?
• Sometimes, relationships between parents and children can become strained…
• Sometimes, the relationship can become so broken that the parents and the children are no longer even speaking to each other.
• On occasion, people have come to me describing a terrible relationship that they have with their parents or their children.
• They will share a long list of perceived offenses that have driven a wedge into that relationship.
• And they will ask me something like, “Do I have to reach out to my (dad, son, daughter, mom)…
• they are the ones who offended…
• let them apologize to me”
• And my answer is usually something along the lines of…
• “you will be judged by God based upon your own actions…
• Your (mom, dad, son, daughter) will be judged by God according to their actions…
• You just make sure that you have done EVERYTHING THAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN…
• So you can stand before your Maker…
• And God won’t say to you, “you should have done more””
• I understand that it takes 2 people to reconcile…
• But I also understand that if just ONE is willing to humble themselves…
• To repent…
• To reach out in love…
• Many times (but not always) that is all that it takes to begin the restoration process in that relationship.
B. So men, what’s your relationship with your parents?
• Do you love them?
• Do you let them know that you love them?
• Do you honor them?
• Let the Holy Spirit begin to speak to you even now about this important relationship.
3. A man’s relationship to his wife
A. Scripture tells us, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Gen 2:24 (NIV)
• How’s your relationship with your wife?
• Have you become “one flesh”?
• Or are you lusting after other women?
• Are you giving your energy to your relationship with your wife?
• Or are you using up all your energy on other things?
• Jobs? Hobbies? Other people?
B. It’s been said that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.
• I take that to heart…
• I not only tell Kay that I love her every day (several times every day)..
• But I also make it a point to tell my children…
• “I just want you to know that I love your mom”!!
• I feel that this gives them security…
• My kids go to public school..
• All around them, they see their friends’ families falling apart…
• Mom’s kicking the dad’s out…
• Dad’s leaving the mom for other women,
• Divorce left and right.
• If they realize how much I love their mother…
• It gives them a greater sense of security.
4. A man’s relationship with the world
A. This includes many different relationships…
• Your relationship with your employer…
• (Providing a honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay)
• Your relationship with other women…
• (friendly, but not too friendly!)
• Your relationship with other men…
• Are you a lone wolf?
• Going it alone?
• Or do you realize how important it is to have other Christian men to mentor you…
• And for you to mentor them?
• “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” Prov 27:17
• What’s your relationship with the lost?
• This is a very delicate balance…
• We need to embrace the lost…
• We need to have non-Christians for friends…
• And we need to spend time with them…
• That’s what Jesus did…
• But, there must be balance…
• Because, if we aren’t careful, instead of us influencing them to embrace Christ…
• They will be influencing us to embrace the world.
B. So look at your other relationships…
• Evaluate your other relationships…
• Are you being the man that you should be in each and every relationship?
• Are you being a light for Christ in a lost world?
• Or has the world sucked you into its evil clutches?
5. Finally, a man’s relationship to Jesus
A. A man is the sum of his relationships…
• I believe that this is true…
• We will be evaluated by God based on the quality of our relationship with our children…
• And with our parents…
• And with our wives…
• And with the world…
B. And all these relationships are so very important to have in the proper balance…
• And quality…
• But if our relationship with the Lord isn’t where it should be…
• Then all these other relationships will be messed up too.
• Scripture says, “How can you say to your brother, ’Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matt 7:4-5 (NIV)
• This is speaking about a man’s relationship with others…
• But let me use the illustration for our relationship with the Lord…
• If your relationship with the Lord is damaged…
• Then you need to fix that relationship first…
• Then, once you have repaired your relationship with the Lord…
• Then you will be able to better address the problems in any of your other relationships.
Conclusion
1. This morning, men…I’m preaching to me…
• I want to evaluate my relationships…
• Because I believe that a man is the sum of his relationships…
• But I hope you’ve been listening in…
• Because you need to evaluate your relationships too…
• You need to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you about where you are in your different relationships…
2. But, if you are here this morning…
• And you are just thinking “I need to be a better father”…
• “I need to spend more time with my wife”…
• “I need to tell my dad I’m sorry”…
• And your relationship with the Lord is not where it should be…
• Then you need to fix that relationship first…
• Before you talk to your kids…
• Before you talk to your dad…
• Or your wife…
• You need to get squared away with Jesus…
• Try as you might, your other relationships will never be what they should be…
• If your relationship with Jesus isn’t where it should be.
