Father’s Day: Dads Who Share Their Hearts for God with Their Children
(Job 1:1-5)
INTRO
Erma Bombeck wrote this:
FATHER’S DAY
I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was "What do I tell him a father does?"
When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, "What do fathers do?" As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry.
They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging.
It wasn’t until my husband and I had children that I was able to observe firsthand what a father contributed to a child’s life. What did he do to deserve his children’s respect? He rarely fed them, did anything about their sagging diapers, wiped their noses or fannies, played ball, or bonded with them under the hoods of their cars.
What did he do?
He threw them higher than his head until they were weak from laughter. He cast the deciding vote on the puppy debate. He listened more than he talked. He let them make mistakes. He allowed them to fall from their first two-wheeler without having a heart attack. He read a newspaper while they were trying to parallel park a car for the first time in preparation for their driving test.
If I had to tell someone’s son what a father really does that is important, it would be that he shows up for the job in good times and bad times. He’s a man who is constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success.
He won’t laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem. He will dig out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it. He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex and people who are different than they are. By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs.
But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids’ lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life.
A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child. Grab it! Maybe you’ll get a greeting card for your efforts. Maybe not. But it’s steady work.
(Source: www.higherpraise.org/illustrations)
A. The Challenges of our Day
1. Read Psalm 11:3 ¡K.The Foundations have crumbled
*25 million children (36.3%) do not live with their fathers.
*40% of children in fatherless homes have not seen their father¡¦s in a least 1 year. While 50% of children who live without their fathers have never stepped foot in their father¡¦s home.
*63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
*85% of children that exhibit behavior disorders are from fatherless homes
*80% of rapists are from fatherless homes
*71% of high school drop outs are from fatherless homes
*75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers are from fatherless homes
*70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes
*85% of youths in prison are from fatherless homes
*70% of teen pregnancies are from fatherless homes
*72% of Americans polled recently said the physical absence of fathers is the most serious problem facing America¡¦s families.
2.Read Psalm 12:8
We have to try to rear our children in a world populated by an increasingly dysfunctional population¡K
3. Read Psalm 13:2
In addition, men are more stressed out and tempted than ever:
(1) internet and easy access to indecent material
(2) more women at the workplace, more mixing of genders and situation ethics
(3) many men are used to smoking marijuana or drinking their troubles away
(4) fewer men understand leadership or what it does and does not mean to be a man; women no longer accept masculinity, and men no longer know what ¡§normal¡¨ is¡Knor how to defend their masculinity to their wives, children, or society¡K
(5) materialism and uncontrolled spending for all the new gadgets add financial pressures¡K
4. In short, many of today¡¦s Christian men are battle-weary, tired, tempted, stressed, downtrodden, feeling underappreciated, and struggle to find their identites as men¡Kparticularly Christian men (because many churches demand a feminized man).
B. Redefining Ourselves in Light of Scriptue
1. In an attempt to fix all of the above, we could and have addressed some of the particulars mentioned a moment ago, but there is a foundational central quality that governs all other details. I call it: ¡§A Heart for God and a Godly Heart for Ones Family.¡¨
2. No one exemplified this more than Job.
3. Job was a pastor to his wife and children, a concept we often do not associate with fatherhood.
4. When we read the description of Job, we are immediately intimidated:
(1) blameless, upright
(2) feared God and shunned evil
5. When you hear this, you are thinking, ¡§Pastor Ed, you¡¦re talking idealism here. Not one of us in this room fits that description.¡¨
6. These terms are relative terms; that Job was a sinner is clear. But it is important to note that God viewed him as unusually godly: his wife did not hold that view, nor did his friends!
(1) Women judge godliness through a feminine grid work; some aspects of masculinity may not be appreciated by the opposite gender and may be labeled as worldly or ungodly. For example, men need more space than women. If men go golfing our hunting or watch sports, that doesn¡¦t mean that the Lord is not first in their lives anymore than women reading Christian romance novels do not put their husbands first.
(2) The real issue here is that Job had a heart for God, and God recognized that. Whether his wife or children were happy with him is not revealed. But it is conceivable that they had a truckload of gripes and complaints.
7. But what I want to point out is what he did for the spiritual lives of his children.
MAIN IDEA: Dads must develop a heart for God and share that heart with their children¡¦ they must be a pastor to their little flock.
TS-----------„³ Many of the qualities that make a good Christian dad also make for good pastors; that is why elders are to be chosen, at least ideally, from among the Christian dads in a church. Let¡¦s note how we can become good shepherds to our families by listing several means to get us there.
I. By Developing A Close Walk with God (1:1)
1. In a way, developing a heart for God results in a close walk with God, and developing a close walk with God results in a heart for God.
2. So where do we break into this circle?
3. It has to begin with a willingness to follow God, even if you are alone:
Jeremiah 17
5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD .
6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.
7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD , whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
4. It is crucial to become familiar with God¡¦s Word, to pray, to confess our sins, and to tackle our ego, arrogance, and quest for significance; but if we do not have a heart for God, we will not stick with any of those things. Like Joshua, we need to choose this day whom we will serve.
5. We must learn to become dependent upon God to help us do what we cannot do in our own power.
6. As Patrick Morely put it, ¡§The turning point of our lives is when we stop seeking the God we want and start seeking the God who is.¡¨
II. By Putting the Spiritual Over the Material, Even If Prosperous (2-3)
1. Some Christians are so private about their faith, that even their family members are unsure. True, their lives speak volumes, but life is not enough. Everyone knew Job was godly; they also knew he was rich.
2. Prosperity is more often a curse than a blessing. That¡¦s why Agur the wise man wrote in Prv. 30: 8-9:
8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. 9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ’Who is the LORD ?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.
3. Many of us should be grateful that we are not wealthy. Some believers, like Job, could handle money without forsaking His lordship of their lives; most cannot.
4. Psalm 62:10 admonishes us: ¡§10 Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.¡¨
5. Dads are to provide for their families, and we live in a day when not everyone agrees with this simple statement. But too many dads get too carried away; they excel at providing, but they sacrifice fathering and time with the wife and kids to do it.
6. Money hungry people have little time for family and even less time for God. That¡¦s why Paul wrote in I Timothy 6:9-10, ¡§But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.¡¨
III. By Knowing What The Family Flock Is Doing (4)
1. Job knew the habits of his children; he knew what they were doing because he spent time with them.
2. Some guys think thusly: I¡¦ll provide the income, and my wife will raise the kids. As a matter of fact, the average American dad spends 37 seconds a day with his kids.
3. Job and Mrs. Job reared their children so that they would be close as a family. We Vasiceks have made that one of our goals. It does not necessarily happen on its own.
4. They ate together, they celebrated together, they had a good time together.
5. Job also knew that gatherings provide a potential for sin: they may have spoken arrogantly, they may have cursed God in their hearts (perhaps through over drinking)¡K.
6. Wise is the father who knows the ways of his children, even understanding their particular bents toward particular sins¡K.
7. If you want to know what your kids are doing, talk to them; do things with them; get to know their friends.
IV. By Being Involved With The Family Flock At A Spiritual Level (5)
1. Leading them In Finding God¡¦s Forgiveness and Facing Their Own Lifelong Sinfulness
2. We have some really cool discipleship options today: Navigators is my favorite ¡§one on one¡¨or small group program; the women¡¦s Bible study¡K.
3. But do you know how the quality of our Christianity would blossom if dads discipled their own children?
4. The best way to teach kids is ¡§on the go¡¨ Deut. 6:6ff, ¡§These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.¡¨
CONCLUSION
1. The task of being a good dad is not an easy one. We ALL fail in differing ways and in differing degrees.
2. But don¡¦t let your failings intimidate you; kids don¡¦t need a dad who is perfect, only authentic. You won¡¦t do it right all the time, but don¡¦t quit because of that.
3. You may feel you are a hypocrite. You are. But they will be, too. But let¡¦s be broken hypocrites who hate our own consistency, let¡¦s grow to become LESS hypocritical.
4. You may feel inadequate. You are. But learn along with your family. Come up with specific ideas.
5. Some people have found Rick Warrren¡¦s book, ¡§The Purpose Driven Life¡¨ to be helpful to get them on the track spiritually. It¡¦s simple and basic. Others have gotten back on track by using the Daily Bread.
6. Dads, don¡¦t give up. None of us are going to be Jobs. But we can still go forward, even if we have a long ways to go.
