DEVOTED OR DISTRACTED?
I Corinthians 7:25-40
S: Singleness
C: Devotion to God
Th: Live the Difference
Pr: SINGLENESS IS GREAT.
?: Why?
KW: Reasons
TS: We will find in our study of I Corinthians 7:25-40 three reasons why it is great to be single.
The _____ reason it is great to be single is the…
I. DIFFICULTIES OF THE WORLD (25-31)
II. DISTRACTIONS OF MARRIAGE (32-35)
III. DISCIPLINE OF EMOTION (36-40)
PA: How is the change to be observed?
· Affirm singleness.
· Be single-minded toward God.
Version: ESV
RMBC 06 June 04 AM
INTRODUCTION:
When you are single, it is easy to get tired of the marriage question.
So to those of you that are in this category, I want to offer some help to you and offer my Top Ten comebacks to the question, “why aren’t you married yet?”
ILL Notebook: Singleness (Why aren’t you married yet)
10. It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
9. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
8. I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
7. You haven’t asked yet.
6. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
5. Because I just love hearing this question.
4. Just lucky, I guess.
3. It gives my mother something to live for.
2. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
1. I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
TRANSITION:
Well, we are in our third and last week of studying the seventh chapter of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians.
1. In our study of I Corinthians 7, we have been told to stay in the marital state we are in.
You may remember in our study two weeks ago, we found that Paul was answering a question that had come to him.
There was a growing movement in the church that was promoting an ascetic lifestyle.
In other words, this movement was teaching that to be a truly spiritual Christian one had to be celibate.
So that those that were married were being encouraged to deny sexual expression in their relationships.
And if this was too difficult, they were free to get divorced so that they could serve the Lord better.
For Paul, such thinking was nonsense.
Although he was a big believer in the single life (as we will see again today), he also believed in the blessing and responsibility of marriage.
And since it is a covenantal relationship, it is not to be so lightly dismissed.
So, acting as a marriage counselor, he says, “Stay as you are.”
If you are single, stay that way if you can.
If you are married, stay that way.
For…
2. We are to be content in our calling.
If we are given the gift of singleness (and it is a spiritual gift), we are to be content in it.
If we are given the gift of marriage, we are to be content in it.
Not only that…
3. We are to be content in what God has given us and where He has placed us.
Do you realize today that the way you are – your body, your personality, your spiritual gifts – has come from God?
And do you realize today that where God has placed you is not just dumb luck, but rather the sovereign choice of God?
This means that you can serve God where you are.
This means that you can honor God where you are.
And do you realize that if you are complaining about what God has given you and where He has placed you, you are, in reality, attacking Him?
So learn to be content, wherever God has you today.
Now, for some of you, where God has you today is in the midst of the single life.
And let me say, so that everyone can hear it…
4. SINGLENESS IS GREAT.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
This means that it should not be looked down on, nor should anyone consider a single person a second-class citizen.
Being single is a perfectly acceptable and proper mode of life that has a divinely approved status.
Now, granted…
God has arranged for most of us to be married.
It is a part of His design for life and society as we study Genesis 1 and 2.
And, as a result, the single life is more of the exception
But…
It is to be a proud exception!
Have you ever noticed how kids relate between the sexes?
The boys wrestle with boys.
And the girls play with girls.
And on occasion, but rarely, the two sexes meet.
But God solved this small dilemma with an internal alarm clock that causes little glands to pour out hormones.
And then the two sexes run into one another’s arms.
But, at the same time, there are some that are not just as interested, or perhaps just not that much.
They have a special calling that is great.
So…
5. We will find in our study of I Corinthians 7:25-40 three reasons why it is great to be single.
OUR STUDY:
I. The first reason it is great to be single is the DIFFICULTIES OF THE WORLD (25-31).
(25) Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. (26) I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. (27) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. (28) But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. (29) This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, (30) and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, (31) and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
Paul begins this section by describing his sense of God’s guidance in this matter.
He is not directly quoting from Jesus here, but rather giving what the Lord has given to share with this church.
So, his recommendation is that…
1. Because of the urgency of the times, being single is a great option.
We know, historically, that Corinth was not a place that Christians were being persecuted.
In fact, the “anything goes” philosophy allowed Christianity to flourish.
But since the city was given over to living that was characterized by pleasure and shallowness, the moral decay was in process.
So, there was an urgency that was caused by the culture.
But we also know that Paul’s thinking was frequently eschatological.
In other words, he knew that the Lord was coming, and since the need continued to be great, there was a continuing urgency to get the word out about Jesus.
The world is passing away.
We need to get moving.
From Paul’s point of view, to get accomplished what needs to be accomplished, the single life is the best.
But at the same time, he wants people to stay the course God has already put them on.
So he says that if you are single, stay single.
But, if you are married, stay married.
You see, in Paul’s understanding…
2. Marriage is still all right.
Being single is great, but it is not a sin to be married.
You see, Paul is not carried away by his enthusiasm for the single life.
So, he wants us to know that being married is outside the category of sin.
But Paul also communicates that marriage has its troubles.
There is a saying, “They say love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.”
For example…
ILL Notebook: Marriage (Pickles)
A man and his wife were out eating and he reached for a pickle, his wife slapped his hand and said, “You don’t like pickles.”
He said, “Well, for a moment I thought I did.”
Marriage has its problems.
It is the uniting of two people that are two distinct personalities, two temperaments, two wills, and two histories.
It is the merging of two people who are proud, forgetful, and thoughtless.
You see, it is hard enough for a sinner to live alone with himself, let alone with another sinner.
In marriage, the problems of the sin nature multiply.
Not only that, the opposite sex has always been a mystery.
ILL Notebook: Gender (Man versus woman)
Frankly, marriage is difficult to understand…
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $10, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
4. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
5. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
6. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
7. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
We are not to get caught thinking that marriage is the ingredient that will solve all your problems and make you happy.
Marriage is not the solution to bring you closer to God and make you a better person.
It does not do these things.
In fact, the kind of person you are as a single person is the kind of person you will be as a married person.
So, if you are miserable being single, you will probably be miserable as a married person.
So Paul encourages us to remember that…
3. We need to focus on the eternal over the temporal.
We are to remember that we are fundamentally visitors on this earth, and not permanent residents.
In essence, this world is but a shadow of reality.
Therefore, we need to live (as the commentator Matthew Henry said) a holy indifference to the things of the world.
We must not overvalue things that are temporary, whether marriage, grief, celebration, possessions, or pleasure and recreation.
While each has a role while we live, we are not to let these things become more important than the spiritual and eternal realities.
We are to be marked by eternity.
As Martin Luther wrote:
Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also.
The body they may kill,
God’s truth abideth still,
His kingdom is forever.
II. The second reason it is great to be single is the DISTRACTIONS OF MARRIAGE (32-35).
(32) I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. (33) But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, (34) and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. (35) I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
ILL Notebook: Marriage (out together)
There was a tornado in Kansas that hit a farmhouse one night. It lifted the roof off, picked up the bed on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down in the next county.
The wife began to cry. So the husband said, “Don’t be scared Mary, we’re not hurt.”
She said, “I’m not scared. I’m happy. Do you realize that this is the first time in fourteen years we’ve been out together.”
Well, except perhaps for this guy…
1. When you are married, you are distracted by the responsibility of marriage.
Those that are married must give attention to the needs of their spouses.
You see, marriage is both a blessing and a heavy burden.
Now it is not a onerous burden.
But it is a burden of care, concern, time, money, prayers, thoughts, tears, love and energy.
Because, to be truly married means the giving of yourself completely to your spouse.
But…
2. When you are single, you have the opportunity to be totally devoted to God.
Being single is a wonderful opportunity to serve the Lord without as many earthly distractions.
You are able to approach your relationship and worship of the Lord with an undivided heart.
You have the freedom to devote more time, energy and resources to the kingdom of God.
It is a phenomenal blessing to minister to the needs of other people whether in the world, your neighborhood, the church or in your workplace.
You are able to live with spiritual abandon, with a complete undivided devotion to God.
So if you are a single today, recognize your marvelous opportunity to serve the Lord.
Don’t let it be a wasted opportunity.
If you feel the single life is not going to be a permanent status…fine.
But don’t get caught pining away waiting for your prince or princess to come.
Don’t find yourself scheming to get married.
Again, it is not wrong to be married.
Neither is it wrong to plan to be married.
Nor is it wrong to ask God for a partner.
But don’t let it be an all-consuming passion.
Trust God.
III. The third reason it is great to be single is the DISCIPLINE OF EMOTION (36-40).
(36) If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry — it is no sin. (37) But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. (38) So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. (39) A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (40) Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
The context of this last passage seems to be between two people who are engaged to be married.
The question is whether it is proper for them to get married, or should they separate at this point.
And it is here Paul says that…
1. Marriage is an appropriate option.
You see, nowhere in Scripture do we find that celibacy is necessarily permanent.
There are no lifelong vows for the celibate life that are ever recognized in Scripture.
So if a fiancé(e) and his/her future spouse want to get married, this is a good option.
The engaged couples in the Corinthians church should not feel compelled to heed the pro-celibacy faction and refrain from marriage.
If they choose to get married, great.
And if they choose to separate to serve the Lord, that is even better.
ILL Notebook: Celibacy (for 10 years)
One evening at dinner, Mark Ralph mentioned an article he’d read in which an actor complained about having to remain celibate for months while shooting in a remote location. His ten-year-old son asked what "celibate" meant, so Mark and his wife explained as best they could. After thinking for a few minutes, he said, "I don’t know what’s so difficult about that. I’ve been celibate for ten years!”
Well…
2. If you have the self-control to not be married, so much the better.
As Paul concludes here, he reminds his readers that remarriage is not necessarily the ideal for everyone.
For some it is, as we previously noted two weeks ago.
And Paul gives the reminder that it should be to a fellow believer only.
Paul does not believe in missionary dating or the marriages that follow them.
Paul ends with a statement that he has the Spirit of God.
It is probably a slightly sarcastic aside against those that were trying to show their spiritual superiority over Paul.
He wanted to reaffirm his role in the life of this church, a theme that he repeats several times in this letter.
APPLICATION:
I don’t know if you know this or not, but there are some churches that will not have pastors, elders or deacons that are not married.
Do you think that is right?
Because if you do, both Jesus and Paul couldn’t have led the church.
So, let us be convince of this today, that…
1. As the church, we need to continually affirm singleness.
Singles can be competent, content, God-empowered people doing vital, exciting work in the kingdom of God.
And as a church, we need to encourage them, support them, love them, and praise them.
And…
2. Regardless of our marital state, we are all called to be single-minded toward God.
You see, the universe is not a democracy.
It is a theocracy, a divine monarchy if you will where the majority does not rule.
God rules.
So when we call Him Lord, each one of us, whether single or married, needs to treat Him that way.
We need to act on that truth with a single-minded determination and an undivided devotion to serve and worship our Lord.
COMMUNION:
ILL Notebook: Communion (our comfort, our hope)
Solomon Rosenberg, his wife and their two sons were arrested, together with Rosenburg’s mother and father for the crime of being Jews. They were placed in a Nazi concentration camp.
It was a labor camp, and the rules were simple.
"As long as you can do your work, you are permitted to live. When you become too weak to do your work, then you will be exterminated."
Rosenberg watched as his mother and father were marched off to their deaths. He knew that the next would be his youngest son, David - because David had always been a frail child.
Every evening, Rosenberg came back into the barracks after each day of hard labor and searched for the faces of his family. When he found them they would huddle together, embrace one another and thank God for another day of life.
One day Rosenberg came back and didn’t see those familiar faces.
He finally discovered his oldest son, Joshua, in a corner, huddled, weeping and praying. He said, "Josh, tell me it’s not true."
Joshua turned and said, "It is true, Dad. Today David was not strong enough to do his work. So they came for him."
"But where is your mother?" asked Mr. Rosenberg.
"Oh Dad," he said, "When they came for David, he was afraid and he cried. So Mum said, ’There is nothing to be afraid of, David,’ and she took his hand and went with him."
That illustrates a mother’s love – a love so strong that it chooses to give up life so her child can be comforted.
This is also a picture of the sacrificial love Jesus has for us. To keep us from fearing death, he went before us. He met death head on – then returned from the grave so we would have hope in the Resurrection. "O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?" ...Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
This is what we remember at communion – our hope because of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead.
We have real hope today because of the Lord Jesus.
So it is very appropriate for us to come with an attitude of worship.
He has gone before us so that we might have life…life that is characterized by quality, integrity, joy and eternity.
So, if you know Jesus today, you are invited to share in the elements of the table.
You do not have to be a member of our church, but we do ask that you know Jesus and have a relationship with Him.
If you do not know Jesus, that is, you have not received Him as your Savior and Lord, or you are just unsure, just let the elements pass by.
Please wait until the time comes when you are confident that you do have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus.
We practice “communion” because we are to remember the death of the Lord Jesus.
We take the bread to remind us that it was by the body of our Savior that our salvation came.
He died in our place.
He became our substitute.
We take the cup to remind us that it was by the blood of our Savior that our salvation came.
He died for our sins.
He became our sacrifice.
Being led in prayer by _________, let us take a moment and thank Him for giving us the very thing we needed most.
The apostle Paul writes, "The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me."
Let’s partake together.
____________ will now come and lead us in prayer.
Again, the apostle Paul writes, "In the same way, after supper he took the cup saying, This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me."
Let’s partake together.
BENEDICTION: [Counselors are ]
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
RESOURCES:
Blomberg, Craig, The NIV Application Commentary
Fee, Gordon, The New International Commentary on the New Testament
MacArthur, John, I Corinthians
Sermoncentral.com
Are You Ready for Marriage? Ken Trivett
Overcoming Discontentment, Ray Pritchard
Life Without Marriage, Ray Stedman
Alone But Not Lonely, Ray Stedman
Single But Not Alone, Doug Goins
Do You Really Want to be Married? Roy Fowler
