The Apprentice - part 4
Prov 15:13-17
May 16, 2004 AM
[s1]
Our secrets for success so far:
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1) the buck stops here
Stop playing the blame game -- you control your life
You are where you are right now because of choices you have made,
And your reactions to situations that come against you
2) we must seek wisdom
Wisdom is the most important thing Solomon said
3) we must be people of action
Life will pass you by if you just sit and let it.
4) We must decide our hearts
That is one step beyond making up our minds --
Our hearts become fixed -- set -- we cannot be stopped or detoured
This morning we begin with secret to success # 5;
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5) I will choose to be happy
The most basic and simplistic thought behind this truth is the reality that no one wants to be around an unhappy person.
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And people no one wants to be around seldom see success.
But a deeper truth is that happiness -- real happiness, is a choice
Happiness is the end result of a chemical reaction that begins when we think certain thoughts and are involved in certain activities.
The outcome is the result of a choice we make.
I firmly believe we can decide from this moment on that we are going to be happy.
Let me read some scripture that deals with being happy and having joy;
[s5]
(Prov 15:13 NIV) A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
The Message says it like this;
Proverbs 15:13 (Msg) A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.
Look at verse 15:
[s6]
(Prov 15:15 NIV) All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.
Again look at what The Message says;
Proverbs 15:15 (Msg) A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song.
[s7]
(Prov 17:22 NIV) A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
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(Psa 68:2 NIV) As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away; as wax melts before the fire, may the wicked perish before God.
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(Psa 68:3 NIV) But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.
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(Psa 100:1 NIV) A psalm. For giving thanks. Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
(Psa 100:2 NIV) Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
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(Psa 100:3 NIV) Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
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(Psa 100:4 NIV) Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
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How many of you get the idea that God wants us to be happy?
I never noticed it before -- but God says to come into His presence with thanksgiving, gladness (that’s happy ness), joy, and praise
In other words -- the reason we don’t like to hang out with sad-sack people is because God doesn’t either.
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God doesn’t want to be around miserable looking and acting people.
In the new testament Jesus was teaching on fasting --
It’s in Matthew chapter 6 ...
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(Mat 6:16 NKJV) "Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad countenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.
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(Mat 6:17 NKJV) "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,
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(Mat 6:18 NKJV) "so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
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In other words -- looking sad is not a spiritual quality.
Looking miserable does not qualify you for special blessings.
Pouting does not move the hand of God quicker.
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God hangs out with happy people,
God dwells with thankful, happy, praising people.
Let me give you some helpful ideas on maintaining the happy in your life.
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1) make the concious choice to laugh every morning when you first get up.
This is important.
Some people begin their day with the news, or some other depressing thing.
And the attitude of their whole day is down.
I know it isn’t all that spiritual -- but the first thing I read in the morning is not my Bible .... that’s second.
The first thing I read is the comic page of the newspaper.
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I’m hoping for a laugh .....
Laughing maintains a chemical balance that allows you to choose happiness.
My wife will tell you -- my TV show of choice is comedy --
I don’t like depressing shows.
20/20, 60 minutes, and all these reality shows leave me gloomy.
I want to laugh.
You have to make the choice to laugh if your going to be happy.
My Grandpa loved good jokes,
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Well okay, Grandpa loved bad jokes, corny jokes, dumb jokes, he just like to laugh.
You could grandpa a joke, and he would just laugh and laugh.
Then thirty minutes later -- you might be at sears,
And he would repeat the punchline and just laugh and laugh again.
You would tell him a joke, and about 3 minutes later he would disappear for a while.
He just had to run down to coffee shop and tell all the other guys his new joke.
He liked to laugh and wanted every one to laugh with him.
He chose to be happy.
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The principle of being happy begins with choosing to laugh at the start of every day.
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2) Smile a lot.
Now I struggle with this one --
Because smiling is not easy for me.
My face does not make a natural smile.
If I’m just sitting carefree and thoughtless -- my face isn’t smiling.
But please know that even though I may not appear to be smiling on the outside --
On the inside I am smiling big time -- usually.
But smiles affect people.
You remember whe we were studying the power of influence --
One man was on his way to kill himself --
But he saw an older woman who smiled at him at a red light?
And that smile changed his mind about taking his own life.
Your smile has the power to forge friendships,
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To tear down walls, to calm storms, even build or strengthen relationships
A smile often disarms conflict and changes attitudes.
When we choose to smile we become the master of our emotions rather than our emotions ruling us.
So first -- laugh a lot, and laugh early,
Second -- smile a lot.
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3) Be grateful.
Happiness is a by-product of gratefulness.
And unhappiness is a sign of ungratefulness.
It boils down to you can be happy for what you do have,
Or unhappy because of what you don’t have.
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If you concentrate on what you don’t have -- you will be unhappy.
No way around that.
[s28]
It is very easy to get trapped in the comparison game.
Especially when you are part of a church fmaily like this one.
We literally come from all walks of life --
We are a collection of haves and have nots,
Wanna be’s, will be’s, and used to be’s.
Which is awesome --
But we have toguard ourselves that we we not get caught up in comparisons --
Comparing will only make you unhappy.
Now some teachers say that if you are going to compare yourself to someone else --
Only compare yourself to someone who has less, or is in worse shape than you are.
But I disagree with that --
If you compare yourself to someone with more or who is better off --
You will be discouraged and become unhappy,
If you comapre yourself to someone less fortunate --
you begin to think there is no hope for anybody getting a better life --
And that leads to discouragement and unhappiness as well.
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It’s better just not to compare yourself with anybody.
Comparison breeds unhappiness, and you have decided to be happy,
So you have decided not to compare.
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We have to remember that when we constantly expect or petition God for more --
Without spending equal or greater time in thanksgiving --
We a living in an ungrateful condition.
I have also discovered it is real hard to be unhappy when you’re constantly reviewing your blessings.
When it all comes down to it -- we have already experienced such incredible blessings that we should be able to live every day in a state of uncontrolable happiness.
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I will laugh a lot, I will smile a lot, I will live with a grateful heart --
And that is how I will choose to be happy.
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Secret # 6 -- I will forgive
We all like to think we are creatures of forgiveness.
Afterall -- certain people are still living.
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But the real truth is we treat forgiveness as a national treasure to be locked away and used only on special occasions.
Not just anybody gets our forgiveness.
In fact most people are unworthy of our forgiveness.
Which is good -- because most people don’t ask for it anyway.
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Can I tell you though -- forgiveness not given becomes a seed within you that produces a very bitter fruit.
You know someone, we all know someone who refuses to forgive and they have become bitter angry people.
Can I venture one step further --
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The root cause of many, if not most chronic health problems can be traced back to unforgiveness.
Can you imagine living with afflictions and diseases rather than simply forgiving someone?
Why would we make our own life miserable over someone else?
Remember secret # 1?
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The buck stops here.
You are the only one that can forgive the people in your life.
You are the only one that can decide to live in bitterness or forgiveness.
Let’s look at something Paul was writing to the believers at Ephesus;
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Ephes. 4:28-32 (NIV) He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
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[29] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
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[30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
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[31] Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
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[32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Now -- we understand the "don’t steal any things anymore ..."
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We pretty much agree that christians should be thieves .....
And we pretty much agree that christians shouldn’t use bad language ...
And we all know we should be building one another up .... and that certain words and their sound alikes shouldn’t be heard coming from believers.
And we really do see that it isn’t a good idea to make the Holy Spirit mad.
But that next part --- "Get rid of all bitterness ....."
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We were hoping that God would say "Yeah verily, on the last full-moon of the harvest of sokah I shall deliver thee and thou shalt be bitter no more .. selah, selah, and hallelujah"
But he doesn’t -- he says "get rid of"
I’m not an English major -- but I do remember from the English classes that some sentences have an understood "I" or "you" in them.
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He’s saying "you get rid of bitterness"
It ain’t a God thing - it’s an us thing.
And the only way to get rid of bitterness is to forgive.
Why? He says it in the next verse ...
Forgive others the way Christ forgave you.
Ouch.
What if Christ only forgave us the number of times we forgive someone else?
That puts it in perspective doesn’t it?
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Because we don’t want God to stop forgiving us.
At the end of that verse he says "put away every form of malice."
The original word there means "malignity" -- like a cancer.
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Unforgiveness eats at us just like a cancer.
Destroying from the inside out.
Forgiveness is a choice.
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Forgiveness is not based on those who ask for it.
People who ask for forgiveness are working out something in their own life --
But the act of forgiving is what makes a difference in us.
Which means we are to offer, extend, bestow, give, what ever you call it --
We forgive others before they ask, or even if they don’t ask at all.
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As long as you feel someone has wronged you --
You can never rise above that wrong.
By not forgiving, you have set a limit on how successful you can be.
You have capped how free you will be in your on heart.
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We cannot allow someone else to derail our dreams and our goals and our blessings by their behavior.
And the only way their behaviour does not impact me is if I walk in continual forgiveness.
I will forgive others -- everyone, at all times, forever.
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A second point about forgiveness is that we also must forgive ourselves.
All too often our greatest enemy is not those around us --
But us.
Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble, every screw-up --
We can’t forgive ourselves for our past, or even our present.
We paralyze our life by dwelling on our mistakes.
Every broken promise, every failure, every wasted effort, every goal not realized, simply adds to the hardship.
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It is the inability to forgive ourselves that causes us to miss success secret #3 --
Being people of action.
Unforgiveness of ourselves keeps us from doing anything.
The fear of failure -- again, the fear of screwing-up, again --
The fear of others critisizing us, again --
Keeps us from being people of action.
We must forgive ourselves.
We cannot fight an enemy that only lives in our heads and expect to win.
Success secret # 6 -- we must forgive; others and ourselves.
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#1 -- the buck stops here
#2 -- seek wisdom
#3 -- be a person of action
#4 -- we must have decided hearts
#5 -- we must choose to be happy
#6 -- we must forgive
