THE PASTOR’S POINTS
Bible Teaching Ministry of
CEDAR LODGE BAPTIST CHURCH
Thomasville, NC
a fellowship of faith, family and friendships
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May 23, 2004
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A Mom shared about how …one night our family was doing a devotional that included the story of the Ten Commandments. My husband asked, How many commandments did God give to Moses?
Seth, our 5-year-old son, quickly replied, Too many![1]
That is not the case with the seventh commandment.
14“You shall not commit adultery.
Exodus 20:14 (NASB)
The society in which we live needs a revival of moral purity!
And we need to be clear about teaching moral purity to the generation for which we are responsible. We must raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That means straight shooting when it comes to identifying and dealing with moral impurity
Returning from Sunday School one day, where the Ten Commandments had been the topic, [a] young son asked his father, Daddy, what does it mean when it says, Thou shalt not commit agriculture? There was hardly a beat between the question and [the father’s] smooth reply: Son, that just means that you’re not supposed to plow the other man’s field, an answer satisfactory to both of them. [2]
Two weeks ago we dealt with the first Kingdom Family pillar, respecting God’s authority; that is the cornerstone of all the other pillars. This evening we are going to pick up pillar #2 – respect for human life.
This morning’s topic is about exercising moral purity in our lives. As with the previous pillars of building a Kingdom Family, there is an “I will” – meaning that this concept of honoring God with obedience to His authority over our lives includes vows that affect the way we will live our lives.
It may be out of “logical” sequence to do this – kind of like putting the commitment cart before the discussion horse…but I ask you to stand with me and take the vow of moral purity…
Pillar #3. Exercising Moral Purity
God has established the family as His first institution on earth. It is worthy of my most noble aspirations and commitments, including my commitment to moral purity, marital fidelity, and Christ-like love for each family member. Because marriage is a picture of Christ’s faithfulness to his bride, the church, and because the family is a picture of the father’s faithfulness to his children, I will honor the Lord by being faithful and pure.
Moral impurity falls into a number of categories…thought life, physical life and spiritual life. Mostly we see it worked out in the physical life. In the physical realm there are two words which cover the spectrum of moral impurity – fornication and adultery.
• Adultery happens when two people have sex…and at least one of those persons is married to someone else.
• Fornication is sex between two people who are not married.
An increasing number of the population does not see this as wrong. In reality, it doesn’t make a difference what the polls or popular culture thinks is wrong or right; God is God – He said it’s wrong!
Adultery and fornication are possible in our physical life, and also in our thought life. Jesus told us [3] that if the heart’s desire is to commit the act – if you “look with lust” – the desire is just as condemning as the act itself.
There is also the matter of “spiritual adultery”. This is when a person treats anything as more important than his relationship to God. More than once Christian believers are called “the bride of Christ”. Brides who run after someone other than their husbands are committing adultery. If you’re part of the church, a spiritual bride, it’s spiritual adultery!
• When God tells you to behave and you do what you want – spiritual adultery!
• When God tells you to tithe and you spend it anyway – spiritual adultery!
• When God tells you to do something, like have a decent attitude and not hate your brother, and you go on and show out anyway – spiritual adultery!
Two of the most revealing and instructive examples of these sins in the Bible are from the Old Testament:
1. King David was married and he forced Bathsheba, another man’s wife, into adultery. This sin led to all kinds of other sin, lying, murder, and the ruin of David’s leadership – as well as sexual sins, including rape and incest on the part of his children. Adultery never leads to something holy or positive. King David…adulterer!
2. Sampson was the fornicator. He didn’t realize the price until he awoke in Delilah’s lap one day. He felt his head and…whoops! All that hair and all that strength God had given him were gone! Sampson wound up more than a prisoner of love; he became a prisoner of the Philistines, and it cost him everything!
With those few examples of moral impurity, I want to do a near-autopsy this morning. What’s a “near” autopsy? Well – in this case it’s opening up the body before it stops breathing. This near-autopsy is on our culture in America…the way we live in the good ol’ USA. I want to look inside the body before it becomes a corpse.
Morally, we are a very sick nation. We are steeped in gross moral impurity that none of us could have imagined a few decades ago. Decade is a very good word…it is the beginning of “decadent” – an apt description of what has happened to mainstream America.
I want to be just ahead of the Medical Examiner this morning; I want to share with you the diagnosis, examine the distress and then look at the direction we can take away from moral impurity.
The Diagnosis of Moral Impurity
Divorce on the rise
Rev. Mike Ester shared with us during our revival a very alarming statistic. The divorce rate in Forsyth County stood in 2002 at 76%. That means for every four couples that marry, three are ending their marriage.
This was second in our state only to Charlotte. [4]
Of course, a statistic like that is glaring…but it doesn’t tell the whole picture. Cohabitation is on the rise. Many couples live together in a trial arrangement. Those “divorces” are never recorded.
Marriage vows on the rocks
Part of the reason for marriages being so shaky these days is the fact that many are begun on the wrong foot. People are looking for the ideal mate, the one who is perfect, and will perfectly fulfill the romantic image inside their heads. The guys are looking for Brittany Spears, the women want Brad Pitt. There is even a website that “guarantees” falling in love. They’re like the Men’s Wearhouse; You’re gonna like the way you look – I guarantee it. What they mean is they guarantee you’re going to “fall in lust”. When a relationship begins on the physical plain instead of on the spiritual, romance is all that counts. That kind of romance will never carry a marriage.
Some of the Pandora’s Box lids that are being lifted off their hinges in our society which threaten the family are absolutely mind-boggling. There is a start-up company whose slogan is:
Our aim is total peace of mind for you and your family.
That is the motto of the Alibi Agency….a company based in England whose purpose is to lie for philanderers (cheatin’ hearts for you Hank Williams fans)….the Alibi Agency establishes a plausible paper trail.
• It will furnish ticket stubs for the theater performance you were supposed to have been attending.
• It will print up dummy invitations to the social and business events that kept you away from home.
• It will hire official sounding receptionists who will intercept phone calls to the locale of your out-of-town conference or golf game.
The Alibi Agency’s literature says: “We can discuss individual requirements, and ’Tailor Make’ an Alibi to your Specifications." [5]
Entertainment Media no help
From a study made of 104 leading television writers and executives conducted by the Center for Media and Public Affairs, the study found that Hollywood’s views run far from the mainstream of public opinion.
• 85 % of Americans believe adultery is wrong, only 49 percent of TV writers and executives do.
• 59 % of Americans say a woman has a right to an abortion. Hollywood maintains it 97 % of the time.
• While only 4 percent of Americans have no religious affiliation, 45 percent of the TV writers and executives have none. [6]
It is no wonder that the Hollywood crew keeps coming up with things that promote moral impurity.
Everything they put out is self-centered hype. The Swan, American Idol, Marry your favorite rich-guy. Those contestants are sowing to the wind, and we are all going to reap God’s whirlwind!
Social agendas are attempting to re-define moral purity
• Same-sex marriage became a legal reality in Massachusetts this week.
• Do you know what is quickly replacing “thus saith the Lord” when it comes to marriage vows and equal yokes? The concept of family with “Susie Has Two Moms” and “anything goes if we really love each other like sick puppies” is what really counts these days.
• Most of the time, God and what He has commanded is not even in the equation.
Part of the problem is that we have adopted the philosophy that it is alright to re-define our culture the way it seems right at the time, rather than stick to the mores and revealed truth seen in Scripture. What we are doing is trying to take the edge off judgment.
Most of the social-agenda drivers in this world push the philosophy that there is no such thing as moral absolute truth. If everything is relative to my own best interests, I can do anything I want, and it will be right for me. If people can be convinced that there is nothing wrong with determining your own values, rather than accepting God’s claim on your life, everyone then just does whatever he pleases…whatever feels good to him.
There is a phrase that appears over and over again in the Old Testament: …and every man did what was right in his own sight….Friends, this describes a very bleak time in Israel’s history. It describes spiritual and moral impurity of an intensive care patient on the brink of the end.
Douglas Taylor-Weiss, rector of St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church in Dayton, Ohio, has proposed a new set of Ten Commandments based on his observations of our culture:
1. Have a good day.
2. Shop.
3. Eliminate pain.
4. Be up-to-date.
5. Relax.
6. Express yourself.
7. Have a happy family.
8. Be entertaining.
9. Be entertained.
10. Buy entertainment."
He forgot 11. Get in touch with your feelings.[7]
All of that defines the current obsession with self and sex. The Lord understands our nature and the desire to re-define our existence. He knows we try to make things easy on ourselves:
There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.
Proverbs 14:12
The diagnosis is undeniable – America is in a stewpot of moral impurity; the patient is critical. The greatest of the problems is that the patient refuses to take the doctor’s help. America is like some folks I’ve known who work against themselves. A friend was alarmingly obese; he still ate everything in sight.
My uncle had advanced emphysema; he continued to smoke those Camels until he was under an oxygen tent. Even then he would have smoked if he could have gotten someone to sneak him a cigarette.
The diagnosis for America is terminal unless we take the doctor’s help. A patient in the doctor’s office cried, “Doc, you gotta help me; I broke my arm in two places.” The doc said, “Stay outa them places”.
America has got to turn away from the moral filth and back to God if we are going to avoid the judgment and once again be used for good. We have a choice – but we must break the addiction to moral impurity; otherwise the diagnosis is bleak!
The Distress of Moral Impurity
Sometimes a patient doesn’t take the diagnosis to heart because there is no real understanding of how far the disease is advanced, and what the patient is going to experience if he doesn’t change his ways. You heard of the man who was feeling low; he just couldn’t bring himself to get up, go to work or function in a normal way. His wife took him to see a psychiatrist. After a lengthy session the man was told to wait in the outer office. The shrink spoke frankly to the wife, “Your husband is seriously ill -- critical.”
The wife was concerned, “What can be done?”
Said the shrink, “You are the key here. You are the only one who can get him through this crisis.”
“What must I do?” she implored.
“Every morning greet him cheerfully with breakfast in bed. Keep his pillows fluffed. Bathe him; give him back and foot massages; speak lovingly and patiently no matter how he irritates you. Make sure you fulfill his every wish and desire, and in time you may pull him through.”
Thoughtfully, the wife got up from the shrink’s office and went to the waiting room. There her husband looked up when she entered the room and asked, “What did the doc say?” She replied, “He said you’re gonna die!”
The Distress – what price moral impurity?
The effects – symptoms and eventual state caused by rejecting moral purity are no laughing matter. The fact is, our country is dying and is in need of a crash cart of moral leadership. It won’t come from those who are steeped in self-indulgent lifestyles…unless there is a wakeup call.
Listen to a recent Baptist Press article about one of the “heroes” of our culture and his wakeup call:
The instructions found in the Bible are more than a collection of ancient stories, wise sayings and good advice. The Bible is truth - period! As such, it is not only incredibly significant but it is also intensely relevant for all times and in all cultures. Those who dismiss or ignore the Bible’s truth do so at their own peril.
Just ask Kobe Bryant.
The clean-cut star of the National Basketball League’s Los Angeles Lakers recently admitted to an adulterous episode after he was charged with sexual assault. Responding to the legal allegation at a news conference Bryant said, "I sit in front of you guys, furious at myself, disgusted at myself for making the mistake of adultery."
....There is a reason for the Bible’s prohibition concerning adultery. The truth is that a man or a woman cannot engage in an illicit relationship without some negative after-effect. Adultery always results in some type of spiritual, emotional, or physical trauma. At the very least, a person has his or her soul "smoke-stained." [8]
There is a lot of “smoke-stain” going on today; a lot of after-effect. Chuck Colson is in a position to know. As he ministers to the nation’s prisoners Mr. Colson understands after-effects. He was once chief counsel to the President of the United States, Richard Nixon. He was also convicted of complicity in the cover-up following the Watergate scandal. He went to prison for a year. He knows the distress of moral impurity.
Colson is emerging as a prophet for our times. In a recent news column he pointed to the distress and shame our country is going to face as it keeps going down this slippery slope of moral impurity:
….widespread acceptance of same-sex "marriage" will widen the already existing gap between parenthood and marriage and continue to break down the family.
Countries, like Norway, that adopted same-sex "marriage" saw their rates of cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births shoot up. There’s no reason to suppose that won’t happen here. [9]
Contrary to some people’s opinion, moral impurity is not just a “personal choice” affecting the person who chooses. No person lives in a vacuum; we are all connected. For instance, in a “personal choice” to have an affair, a man becomes an adulterer. The woman he chooses becomes an adulteress. But it does not end there:
• The man’s ex-wife (should the whole thing end that way) is devastated
• The children now deal with emotional issues that will affect how they view marriage and family
• The children and ex-wife will (typically) live below the poverty line
• The employer of the man will suffer due to influences of the family conflict
• The second marriage of two adulterers is more than twice as likely to end in divorce, complicating all the lives of children, adults, employers, neighbors, friends, etc…
• In the end, the only prosperous participants in the moral decline dance are the lawyers who settle-up, real estate agents who help sell-out and psychiatrists who drain your mind and pocketbook.
A man supposed he was going to grab for the “brass ring” with a younger, prettier woman; he was going to get that excitement. He had been pleasing the wife, kids, boss, parents and everyone else all these years; now it was his turn. In the short span of a year or two all the “new” has rubbed-off, the excitement died down, and all he is left with is pain, pain, pain!
Pain, Pain, Pain
The 1998 movie, Hope Floats, is a tale about a woman struggling to recover from her husband’s infidelity. It shows how she and her child cope with the problems caused by the break up of their family and starting over.
The mother, Birdie Pruitt (played by Sandra Bullock), thinks she’s going to receive a makeover on a national TV talk show, only to discover the real purpose of the program is to uncover her husband’s affair with her best friend. Horrified, Birdie returns to her small-town Texas home and tries to pull life back together for herself and her daughter. While there, she faces considerable obstacles and the potential rebirth of an old high school romance.
Towards the end of the movie, Birdie and her husband are arguing loudly in front of their daughter about the pain, deceit, and anger his adultery has caused. She tells him, "I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you!"
But Bill won’t hear it. He says he finally found happiness for himself, and he’s going to take it.
Finally, Birdie tells him to leave since she’s got the best part of him anyway, namely, their daughter Bernice. Bill turns to go, and is pursued by Bernice down the stairs and out to the car. She calls out, "I’m coming with you, Daddy!" but her dad keeps walking to the car. The girl, terrified of losing her father, tries to get in the car with him, begging, "Daddy, I need you!"-but he refuses her.
He says sternly, "I promise to come back for you, but I am starting a new life with Connie now." As she screams and sobs, his raised voice has an empty ring to it as he keeps repeating, "I promise…I promise…I promise."
With that he drives off, leaving Bernice completely devastated, wailing until her mom comes and picks her up. This scene captures the heart of what God tries to spare us from when he says, "You shall not commit adultery." [10]
"The one who commits adultery with a women is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it"
Proverbs 6:32
The diagnosis is bleak for an America steeped in moral impurity. The distress is over the top. The question is, What can we do?
The Direction Away from Moral Impurity
Often the road to recovery begins with a shock. The American Revolution began with a revolt over tea taxes. Changes in voting in our country came about because women demanded the right to vote, and racial equality was advanced because people would not put up with discrimination.
Sometimes you need a shock. An attorney tells the story of a man who died, and the attorney said to his wife, "He did not leave a will. So we need to know the last words he ever said to you." She said, "I don’t want to tell you."
He said, "Look, he did not leave a will. We need to know the last words he ever said to you." She said, "I don’t want to tell you. It was something between the two of us."
He said, "May I beg you one more time?" She said, "Okay, I’ll tell you. The last thing he ever said to me was, ’You don’t scare me. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with that old gun.’" [11]
I want to hit everything the barn’s got here…there are two things we – all of us in America and the world – need to do to turn from the morass of moral impurity we find in our culture today:
We need to awaken to the Empty Way of Moral Impurity
The kind of life promoted by what you see in movies and on television is an empty promise; that is the trademark of sin!
Those who find they are not getting what they want tend to blame their actions and deplorable conditions on something; they will grasp at any possibility to explain-away their behavior.
I read an article in Popular Science about prairie voles. The little rats are “somewhat monogamous”. They mate and raise the pups together, but if another female comes courting about 50% of the males will walk out on his mate for the new babe. Lowell Getz, a retired professor of ecology, ethology [12] and evolution at the University of Illinois started studying voles and their habits in 1972. He, along with his partner in research studied the oxytocin levels in the critters’ brains. In short (and lay-simple) this means the chemicals in the brain that stimulate “partnering” is higher in voles than in critters that don’t exhibit monogamy…staying with one mate.
The problem here is that they aren’t 100% faithful. The scientists call it “social monogamy”. Another problem is that the comparison between the prairie rats and human rats is close. The higher the level of oxytocin the more likely the rat (human or prairie) will be faithful to the mate. But, just let the level drop a little and he becomes a wolf on the prowl!
Social monogamy, as they have termed it is “interrupted” by straying from time to time. This is where the Teflon blame shield raises up. The scientists are hunting for our alibi; it’s in our genes…our hormones tell us when it’s time to cheat! After all, voles will be voles! The one thing the scientists discount: the pain! Oxytocin or not, “straying” is an empty promise. There is always an ex-vole and the little voles that get hurt!
Dealing with the REAL issue
Like so many other areas of life where claiming victim status is the easy way out, moral impurity is being explained away by social scientists as if it is chicken pox, or the flu…you are going to get it, you might as well sit back and just deal with it.
The basic problem with explaining it with so-called scientific theory is that theories are only theory. God has given us our real understanding of what drives moral impurity:
14Everyone is tempted by his own desires as they lure him away and trap him. 15Then desire becomes pregnant and gives birth to sin. When sin grows up, it gives birth to death. James 1:13-14 (Gods Word)
We are responsible for moral purity, but we buy into so many things in search of “personal fulfillment” or excitement that we begin to be encircled by the trees of our own toys and play time…so much so that we cannot see the larger forest of God’s will. That is an empty life! But we’re buying it all the time because of the marketing.
A U.S. company has an action figure called Invisible Jim that is selling briskly in Britain for about $3 each. Why is it called “Invisible Jim?” Because all you get is the packaging. There is no Jim.
The empty box that packages Invisible Jim is entertaining. Jim has a “lack of darting eyes,” and “realistic fake hair.” Jim is in the box, “as not seen on TV.” A spokeswoman for the distributor says that when the first shipment arrived they thought there was some mistake at the factory – that they sent the packaging without the product. However, that was the entire idea. It turns out one company is making a fortune off this silly non-product. It is good marketing, good packaging, and an empty box; sounds a lot like temptation and sin. [13]
We are a patient in desperate need to awaken to the emptiness of moral impurity.
We must also Admit to God’s Way of Moral Purity as THE way.
One of my heroes is Roger Staubach. He was a very successful professional football player with the Dallas Cowboys. I watched him play a college game for Navy in my last year of High School. He was great. He is also a committed Christian believer – follower of Jesus Christ.
Once in an interview with Phyllis George he was asked, "Roger, how do you feel when you compare yourself with Joe Namath, who is so sexually active and has a different woman on his arm every time we see him?"
"Phyllis," Roger answered, "I’m sure I’m just as sexually active as Joe. The difference is that all of mine is with one woman." Real men don’t commit adultery. A real man sticks with one woman. Period. [14]
When you boil it all down you only get one thing out of an affair, a new sex partner. But guess who studies show have the best sex?
A new study commissioned by the Family Research Council of Washington, D.C., found that the people most likely to report a high degree of satisfaction with their current sex life are married people who strongly believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong.
The study found that 72 percent of these "married traditionalists" reported sexual satisfaction. This is 31 percent higher than unmarried non-traditionalists and 13 percent higher than married non-traditionalists. The study went on to show that sexually happy people also tend to go to church. Some two-thirds of the responders who attend church weekly are very satisfied with their sex lives, compared to barely half of those who never attend church. No wonder some of you folks smile so much on Sunday mornings! [15] (Oh, I’m gonna get mail on that one!)
Some of you today may feel like the woman taken in adultery. You’ve had a problem with this before; maybe you’re struggling with it now. Remember, Jesus didn’t condemn the woman…he forgave her and protected her, sending her on her way with the strength to go and sin no more![16]
Forgiveness was available to that woman…God is still in the forgiving business today.
The Bottom Line
Moral purity is a possibility if we awaken to the emptiness of the life sin promises, and admit to our need of God’s way. It doesn’t mean you will be free from the temptations of that life…we live in a world that is fallen, and in which Satan is committed to trip you up.
But, God is more committed to you than Satan is against you.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it. 1 Cor 10:13 (HCSB)
God is willing to help…Satan is willing to trip you up…the election is tied until you cast the deciding vote. That is where the “I Will” of this pillar of building a Kingdom Family comes in.
This morning you may be the person who has fallen – given in to the temptation of adultery or fornication, or some other form of moral impurity. I want to encourage you, don’t give up…start again! God will help if you ask Him.
You may be like the Old Testament Joseph – you have a Potiphar’s wife tempting you…Come in the invitation, ask for strength…God will grant it so that you can stand strong like Joseph did – kept himself pure.
You may be a Mom or Dad who wants to see your family thriving under Kingdom Family pillars…will you come in the invitation to commit to living God’s way?
You may be the son or daughter who recognizes your household needs your support to live in harmony Christ’s way…will you come in the invitation to commit to God’s way?
You may have not yet committed yourself publicly to living for Jesus. Will you do that today? Come to Jesus; come now, come quickly.
1] Sandy Y., Bowmansville, Pennsylvania; source: Life in Our House, Christian Parenting Today (March/April 2000)
2] Reader’s Digest, July 1979, p.87
3] Matthew 5:27-28
4] Winston-Salem Journal, April 10, 2004.
5] Cullen Murphy, "A Hand for the Head," Atlantic Monthly (April, 2000), p.26
6] Reported in Newsweek, 7/20/92, "To Verify," Leadership.
7] Martin Marty in Context (Feb. 1, 1992). Christianity Today, Vol. 41, no. 3.
8] Kelly Boggs, Ask Kobe What He’s Learning, Baptist Press.
9] Charles Colson, Breakpoint, © Prison Fellowship 2004
10] Hope Floats (20th Century Fox, 1998), rated PG-13, written by Steven Rogers and directed by Forest Whitaker
11] R. Larry Moyer, Right Smack in the Middle of Sin, Preaching Today, Tape No. 148.
12] Ethology is the zoological study of animal behavior. Ethologists have a special interest in genetically-programmed behaviors known as instincts. http://www.bellarmine.edu
13] Andy Cook, Holiness in Your Bedroom, © 2001-2003 LifeWay Christian Resources
14] Steve Farrar, president of Strategic Living Ministries in Dallas. Men of Integrity, Vol. 1, no. 1.
15] Joel Smith, quoting Adrian Rogers, Ten Secrets for a Successful Family (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Books, 1996), 122-123
16] John 8:11
