Summary: Marriage is like the conquest and settling of a new land. A new and unexplored territory stretches out before you. No matter how many people have settled down in marriage before, it is still a new and unsettled land for each couple that enters into it.

Compiled by: Herman Abrahams (Senior Pastor), Cornerstone Faith Ministries, P.O. Box 740, Westridge 7802, Rep. of South Africa.

E-Mail: Mentorship2003@yahoo.co.uk

Note to the reader:

If you have been blessed with this sermon compilation, I would be honoured to receive an e-mail from you merely telling me where in the world you are based- I do not need any other information. This is merely so that I can have the pleasure, and give thanks to Almighty God, that all over the globe the ministry which he has entrusted to me, is blessing the body of Christ and helping to extend the Kingdom of God.

Thank you. Herman Abrahams, Cape Town, South Africa.

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Series: Successful Family

MARRIAGE: A PIONEERING EXPERIENCE or WORKING ON YOUR MARRIAGE

(Matthew 19:4-6)

MATT 19:3-9 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

THE CHALLENGE

Marriage is like the conquest and settling of a new land. The situation when you cross from single to married life could be compared to that of the Israelites when they crossed the Jordan under the leadership of Joshua. A new and unexplored territory stretches out before you. No matter how many people have settled down in marriage before, it is still a new and unsettled land for each couple that enters into it.

1. HOPE and DIFFICULTY

Pioneering links together two things which often strives together in marriage:

HOPE and DIFFICULTY.

Pioneers enter a new territory with great hopes. They envisage the beautiful life which will be theirs in this new land: home, wealth and future.

This new land does not yield up its treasure without a struggle. Pioneers run up against obstacles and forces which would drive them back and keep them from settling the land.

All too often hope shrivels up in the face of difficulty. Difficulty when it comes is greeted with dismay; and gives way to discouragement. Virtually any real difficulty can cut the nerve of hope:-

 A sharp disagreement between husband and wife;

 A problem in the sexual relationship;

 A difference over finances

 Communication problems

Marriage was created by God (Matthew 9:4-6) and is intended for our happiness; when a man finds a wife he is blessed of the Lord:

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. (NIV)

Since God created marriage we have to exercise faith in Almighty God for the success of our marriage:

Hebrews 11:1,6 1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly (KJV ‘diligently’) seek him. (NIV)

The Christian couple is able to have HOPE for a successful marriage through the help of God’s Word and His Holy Spirit:

Romans 15:1-7 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

ILLUSTRATION:

• Marriages are made in heaven, but we are responsible for the maintenance work. (Nelson’s Complete Book Of Stories, Illustrations, & Quotes – R,J, Morgan)

2. THE TRUE PIONEER

 The true pioneer does not greet difficulty as something strange;

 He does not quail before it;

 It does not quench his hope, but rather heightens it.

1 Peter 1:6-7 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

James 1:2-4,12 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

From the beginning these two things were linked in the mind of the pioneer, the HOPE and the DIFFICULTY. He believes in the hope, but he has not deluded himself that it would fall easily into his hand. There is a price to pay:-

 A price of struggle;

 A price of endurance; and

 A price of faith

Against all difficulties one must believe in the hope of this new land. The pioneer does not retreat from difficulty, nor does he ignore it; he meets it and deals with it because of the hope.

Hebrews 12:2-3 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

ILLUSTRATION:

• Couples who do not expect to work at their relationship often have the roughest ride on the back roads of matrimony.—William L. Coleman*

3. STEP BY STEP

 Step by step the pioneer settles the land..

 He wins from it the riches that are stored up there for him and his family.

 He is practical and resourceful.

 He fashions solutions out of things at hand.

 He develops the capacity to adjust to unexpected situations.

 He is willing to endure hardship.

(2 Timothy 2:3 Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus). (NIV)

(2 Timothy 4:5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, …. discharge all the duties of your ministry). (NIV)

 He sees problems as a normal part of pioneer life.

 He sees difficulty as the price one must pay to tap the riches of the new land.

4. A CHALLENGE TO BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE

Such a venture is marriage, a pioneering venture. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.’ With his wife he journeys into this new land:-

 Hope and difficulty are their everyday companions, the raw material out of which they build the happiness and achievement of their life together;

 They are not content to loiter at the borderlands;

 They have set their faces in the direction in which they wish to go; and

 They mean to explore this new land to the full.

This is the challenge of marriage. This is the challenge to both husband and wife, but more especially to the husband; the challenge to lead his wife into the pioneering of a new land.

ILLUSTRATION

• In physics, the law of entropy says that all systems, left unattended, will run down. Unless new energy is pumped in, the organism will disintegrate. Entropy is at work in many areas other than physics. I see it, for instance, when I work with couples whose marriages are in trouble. A marriage will not continue to be good simply because two people love each other, are compatible, and get off to a fine start. To the contrary, marriages left to their own devices tend to wear out, break down, and ultimately disintegrate. This is the law of entropy. So to keep our relationships working, we must constantly pump new energy into them.—Alan Loy McGinnis*

CONCLUDING ILLUSTRATION

• The simplest prescription for a good marriage contains only two points:

1. Walk with the Master—1 John 1:7: “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we

have fellowship with one another.”

2. Work on the Marriage—Colossians 3:23 (NIV): “Whatever you do, work at it with all

your heart.”

(Nelson’s Complete Book Of Stories, Illustrations, & Quotes – R,J, Morgan)

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Primary Bibliography: The Christian Family by Larry Christenson