The Pitfalls of Rejection
1st Peter 3:14
Whither it was not being picked for the kickball game by the kids in the neighborhood, not making the football team, or the cheerleading squad, not going to the prom with the person you knew you would, or getting into the college you wanted, not getting the job you hoped for, not marring the person you thought you would ever since you were 10 years old, not getting the credit card, or having a marriage that you poured every fiber of your being into and have it destroyed in a moment of lust, by a person you thought was a gift from God. In some form or fashion we all have experienced rejection and felt the effects that it brings with it and will continue to feel them for many years to come. African Americans still feel the effects of being rejected as equal human beings and the results of slavery, Jewish Americans still feel the effects of a means of trying to eliminate a race of people by what is called the Holocaust, every one has felt rejection and suffered from the results of it. Rejection is a part of life that affects each of us at some point and it’s not limited to only one instance. The important thing that we need to learn is not so much how to avoid rejection, but how to avoid the pitfalls of rejection that is associated with it.
Some people have been able to bounce back from rejection and carry on with their lives as if nothing has ever happened. Then there are some that have experienced a deep emotional, damaging, and life changing experience that has caused them to psychologically internalize the experience as a personal battle within. They have become emotionally scared and feel devastatingly degraded.
A pitfall is a cistern, a hole, a prison, and an abode for the dead, a chasm, or abyss. Sometimes when we experience rejection we find ourselves in a chasm of emotional anguish and feel as if our hearts have been taken out of our bodies, torn to pieces, and cast in an abyss of dead and callous way of thinking.
Since our way of thinking has been affected we begin to operate in the results of this rejection. We often build walls around us trying to protect ourselves from feeling such pain ever again; however, while building these walls we find ourselves in the pitfalls that are associated with rejection.
The first pitfall is 1.) We develop an incorrect concept of what is supposed to be. We believe that it is God’s desire for us to be happy, but our concept of what happiness is sometimes incorrect. We think that happiness is living in a fine home, driving an expensive car, having prestige and power, and never having the devil on our backs at all. We feel that happiness is a life of trouble free living and the Bible says in Psalm 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” and in 1 Peter 3:14 “Happy is the man that suffer for righteousness”. Happiness is not based on good things only, but since our concept of what happiness is has been incorrect we feel as though if things aren’t going a certain way that God has rejected us, because he is not operating in our expectations.
When we begin to feel that God has rejected us because of our incorrect concept of him we fall into the 2nd pitfall of rejection and that is 2.) We get angry, and we even get angry with God. The reason we get angry with God is because we feel that he has rejected us when he does not operate within our expectations of him, which is an incorrect concept and because our perception of him is incorrect we get angry with him. This is what is known as a negative feedback loop. Our concept of God is incorrect and he doesn’t operate within our expectations so we get angry with him. It is a negative circle of emotions.
Once we are angry with God we come to the 3rd pitfall, which is 3.) We begin to rebel against God. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 20:26 “but you rebelled against the commandment of the Lord your God.” When we feel as if God has rejected us, due to our incorrect concept of him, and we get angry with him, we then begin to rebel against him. When God wants us to pray or read his word, because we now have this attitude of rejection upon us, we rebel against him and not follow his commandments he has given us to follow. We are caught in the pitfalls of rejection.
The 4th pitfall that rejection places us in is 4.) The pitfall of complaining. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 20:27 “And ye murmured in your tents”. We do not live in tents now days; however, we still complain and murmur within ourselves. We begin to find fault with everything and everyone, the preacher preaches to long, the music is to loud, the choir sings to many songs, the praise team sings to many fast songs. We are in a downward spiral of negativity and have not even realized what is really going on. We have fallen (like the commercial said and we can’t get up) into the pitfalls of rejection.
The 5th pitfall that we will find ourselves in if we are not careful is a very dangerous one and that is the pitfall of discouragement. We begin to feel like everything that is happening to us is simply because God doesn’t care or God just doesn’t like me and we begin to get discouraged. This pitfall is very dangerous because it is within this level where the devil begins to talk to you and try to take control of your mind. The devil understands that he who controls the mind has the soul, if he can convince you that it’s all your fault and that no one cares, in your mind, and then he can cause you to literally loose your mind, or feel as if you are and cause you to take you life. Then he has your soul. Discouragement is the realm in which possession takes place. When we become discouraged one of the first things that we loose control of is our patience. The Bible says in Luke 21:19 “In your patience possess ye your souls.” If in patience we possess our souls then if we loose our patience in the pitfall of discouragement, we have just opened a door for the devil to come in and take control. Why? Because we have become discouraged and lost our patience. We have lost the one thing that gives us endurance to fight against what the devil may try to do. Job was able to say “All my appointed time I’m going to wait for my change to come” because he had the patience to endure. He did not fall into the pitfall of discouragement. When his children were killed he said, “The Lord God giveth and the Lord God taketh away”. He may not have understood why, but he never got discouraged. Job knew that his redeemer liveth, so he was able to avoid this pitfall of discouragement.
The 6th pitfall of rejection is the pitfall of doubt. We become doubtful when we feel that we will never get out of this situation. The children of Israel became doubtful of ever entering the promise land after forty years in the wilderness. Even though, during the forty-year period God never let their shoes wear out or let them go hungry, yet they still doubted him. Even before Moses led them out of Egypt they saw the miraculous handwork of God. They witnessed the plagues that befell the Egyptians, how they (the children of Israel) were protected and spared by the blood, they witnessed as the came out of Egypt the Red Sea open for them and close on Pharaoh’s army, yet they still doubted what God was able to do for them. When we fall into this pitfall we become like the children of Israel in the manner that after all that God has done for us in our life, we still doubt him on things. When I look back over my life and I see all the things God has done for me in the past, I realize that he is able to do exceeding abundantly above all I ask or think, but if I let myself fall into the pit of doubt during my present condition all the things that he has done for me in the past do not account in my mind that he will do it now. I’ve entered into the pitfall of doubtfulness.
The 7th pitfall that we will enter if we are overcome by rejection is that of fear. In the natural if, we do not bounce back from rejection soon, we will develop a phobia about ourselves. We can begin to think that a problem is within us and expect that everyone sees this problem. So to avoid embarrassment and more rejection we develop a social phobia and become afraid to be around people. We refuse to go out into society because we are afraid of being hurt or rejected again. In the spiritual when we fall into the pitfall of fear, we become afraid of stepping out on faith and believing in God. The children of Israel were afraid of going over and possessing the land because they felt as if God had rejected them and they entered into this pitfall of fear and felt inferior to the inhabitants of the land. They said that the inhabitants were giants and even in our own eyes we are as grasshoppers in their sight. But the Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power. Power for what, Power to overcome the devil and not be afraid to step out on faith and take back what the enemy has taken from us. When we fall into the pitfall of fear we become afraid of believing just who and what God is and has for us.
The 8th pitfall that we fall into is the pitfall of hopelessness. This pitfall if we allow ourselves to stay in will cause you to loose your life. In Greek Mythology, when Pandora’s box was opened, everything escaped except hope. The Bible says in Hebrews 11: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” Without faith it is impossible to please God, but if you have lost hope what good is your faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for. You are hoping that something in your life happens and you have faith and believe that it will; however, when you become hopeless, feeling that there can never be any good that comes out of this situation, then where can your faith happen. When you fall into this pitfall you have basically given up on life. You feel that there is nothing for you and all your dreams and aspiration in life are gone. You give up on yourself and others, you’ll believe that no one cares and that God doesn’t listen. It is at this point that many people have committed suicide because they have lost hope of ever getting back to the point that they once were. The devil has complete control of your mind at this point and as stated earlier he who has the mind has the soul. When you have entered into this pitfall and have given up on life and your faith in God you miss the blessing that was intended for you, if you only would have not given up.
The 9th pitfall of rejection is the most devastating of them all and that is, you miss out on your inheritance. When the children of Israel were promised a land flowing with milk and honey, God intended for them to inherit it; however, because of their feeling of rejection and the pitfalls they fell into, no one over the age of 21 years, except Joshua and Caleb, were permitted to enter into the Promised Land. Forty years of wondering in the wilderness, over four hundred years in captivity and only those that were born half way though the wilderness years were allowed to enter. The pitfalls of rejection will cause you to miss out on the blessing that God has for you. Don’t miss your blessing, remember what God has for you is for you and not intended for no one else. Get up out of the pit and receive your inheritance. Jesus died on the cross that we all may have everlasting life, don’t reject him and miss your blessing.
Jesus is the best example we have for avoiding the pitfalls of rejection. Isaiah 53:3 says “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Jesus came to give everyone salvation and everlasting life; however, we crucify him when we do not except him into our lives, we reject him when we do not keep his commandments, yet he still loves us and deals mercifully with us, in spite of how often we reject him. He never fell into a pitfall of rejection; although, he was and still is rejected more than anyone.
Elder Melvin L. Maughmer, Jr.
Boanerge Ministries.
