(Note: The outline of this sermon and some of the content have been adapted from Rick Warren’s material on 40 Days of Purpose.)
I often think of the stories my grandma told about the Depression era when people would pool their soup beans and eat at each other’s homes. Times were hard, but there was a closeness among people that we do not experience today. They worked together, ate together, and actually talked to their neighbors. Even the architecture of homes was different. We lived in a large city, Indianapolis, but our home was like many others, it had a front porch that was more than a step. We had chairs and a swing. I can still remember being on grandma’s porch swing and watching people walk by on the sidewalk. Everyone said hello because everyone knew each other. Sometimes they would stop and talk, or even come up on the porch and sit a spell, and grandma would bring out lemonade. Almost all the homes had porches, and people sat outside in the evening since they did not have air-conditioning. Friends would stop by unannounced to visit. There was a connectedness among neighbors and families.
Today it is a different story. You would feel very awkward stopping over to someone’s home unannounced with the intention of spending the evening. Most of you can’t name half your neighbors. If you visited someone, you might be interrupting their favorite TV program. Sociologists have identified a phenomenon in our culture called “cocooning.” Instead of going out and being around other people, we cocoon in our homes with our “home entertainment centers.” We have settled for individual entertainment rather than human interaction. We each have everything we need, and there is no need to “pool the soup beans” anymore.
If you want to see how depersonalized our culture is, just think about how many things you can do without ever talking with another human being. Try calling a large company and see if it’s even possible to talk to a real human being. You go to the service station and never have contact with anyone else since you swipe your credit card, fill up and go. How many of you even remember when there were only “full service” stations? You used to actually know your banker. Then you pulled up to a suction machine with a tube inside and talked to an electronic box. Now you can do all your banking at home on your computer. Many people did all their Christmas shopping online this year. They did not want to fight the crowds. You can even do your grocery shopping online. The radical individualism of our culture has resulted in the depersonalization of our culture. All of our progress has brought us isolation, and loneliness.
What this means is that there is an enormous hole in the heart of the average American. There is a longing for belonging. They don’t know how to be close to other people, and even if they want to be close to others, they don’t know where to go to have relationships. Gregg Easterbrook has written a new book entitled, The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse. We have more conveniences and comforts than our grandparents could have imagined, but 25% of Americans suffer bouts of depression. 7% of all Americans suffer from at least one major, debilitating depression a year. And at least part of that comes from being alienated from other people. We were created to be social creatures. We need other people whether we want to need them, or think we need them, or not. You were made for other people. You were formed for the family of God.
This is why the Bible says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25). This is why our Sunday Seminars and small groups are so important. This is where we get to know each other and learn to care for each other. People share deep experiences from their lives. It is where we know and are known. There is someone to encourage us and pray for us. This is what we were created for. You were not meant to be the rock of Gibralter, you were meant to live in fellowship with other believers. You need other people, and they need you. We really do need each other. This is an important part of your purpose in life. The Bible says, “Love your spiritual family” (1 Peter 2:17, Message). And listen to this scripture: “The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both” (1 John 4:21, Message). And you can’t love other people if you are not with other people.
Rick Warren points out that there are four levels of fellowship. The first level is Membership: Choosing to belong. This is the entry level. You make a choice to actually belong in a committed way. You are not floating. You have committed yourself to this body of believers. You will become a part of their lives and they will become a part of yours. You did not have a choice about where you would be born or to which family you would belong, but when it comes to the Christian family you do have a choice. You are doing more than putting your toe in the water. You made a decision not to come and run. You have decided that this will be your spiritual family. Jesus said, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). There are ways that Jesus meets us when we are together that we cannot experience when we are alone. Rick Warren says, “Saying, ‘I’m a Christian, but I don’t want to belong to any church,’ is like saying, ‘I’m a football player, but I don’t want to be a part of any team.’” It’s like a bee that doesn’t want to be a part of the hive, or a tuba player that does not want to become a part of the orchestra. A Christian without a church family is an orphan. You were designed to be a part of a spiritual family — the family of God.
Here is how it works according to Scripture: “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others” (Romans 12:4-5). Someone shared with me this week that they and their family left our church for a time and attended somewhere else. They had not found the level of relationships here they were looking for. But they came back to our church and found deeper and more meaningful relationships, not because the church had changed all that much, but because they had changed. They actually chose to belong.
The second level of fellowship is Friendship: Learning to share. This level goes one step deeper. It is when you learn to share with the other members of the family. Having grandchildren has reminded me once again that sharing is one of the more difficult parts of maturing. My grandson and I have a game going that’s called, “It’s mine.” He takes a ball and holds it behind his back and says, “Mine!” I oblige and play like I’m trying to take it away from him, but if I actually do take it away there are tears. I’m afraid that we as adults have not always progressed very far beyond the “It’s mine” game. The church does not exist to meet your needs. It exists to give you an opportunity to share what you have. You are here to share yourself, your friendship, your money, your talents, in order to advance the kingdom of God. There are many who see membership as a privileged status where they have the right to receive everything, but they do not want to be asked for anything. They are not willing to serve or seriously give. But the Bible describes the early church with these words: “All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts” (Acts 2:44-46). What a church! What a privilege to be a part of a church like that. It is not surprising that the passage ends by saying that they were, “praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:47). When a church becomes committed to each other like that, then growth is inevitable.
What is it we share? First, we share our Experiences. This is what should happen in our groups. We have so many life experiences to share that will help other people. You never know how God will use something that happened to you in someone else’s life. Secondly, we share our Homes. Your home does not have to be perfect to share it with others. In fact, some of the richest times of fellowship I have had were in the homes of people who obviously were not worried about having everything perfect. The Bible says, “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13). The third thing we share is our Problems. We become authentic and transparent. We don’t try to come across as something we are not. We stop wearing the mask. We can learn so much from each other when we open up. If you are not learning to share in the context of a small group, you are missing so much.
The third level of fellowship is Partnership: Doing my part. Partnership is realizing that you have a contribution to make. The family of God needs you. If the only thing you do here is warm a pew, then you are cheating yourself and everybody else. We are here for each other. Have you heard of the 80/20 principle? It means that 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. Some people are snoozing while others are being worn out. You’re not being a partner if you allow that to happen. God brought you here for a purpose — to serve. He wants to use you to make a difference in the world. Each of us has a part to play. But in every church there are givers and takers. Some people look at the church membership as a ticket to heaven. Others look at the church as a place where their needs can be met. They want the church to take care of them. But God has called you here to serve. Listen to this important scripture: “Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” (Ephesians 4:15-16).
Now, let me throw in a disclaimer. I have to admit that the way we used to get people to do things was simply filling in slots. We had singers that we asked to be Trustees, and carpenters that we asked to sing in the choir. People with the gift of teaching were on the Administrative Council, and businessmen were asked to be teachers. Now we are trying to get people to serve in the area of their giftedness. But I have to tell you that there is a problem with this. Since you are not “officially” elected to a committee anymore, we have trouble getting people to volunteer for our ministry areas, especially in the area of education. Before, people felt obligated, but now we are depending on people to seek God’s leading and search for the way they can best serve. We should not have to ask people to do their part. Each person should be asking God, not whether they should serve, but where they should serve. You grow to the level of partnership when you are doing your part. The Bible says, “We work together as partners who belong to God” (1 Corinthians 3:9, Message). The greatest fellowship you will experience in this church is serving in one of our ministries with other Christians. And we have many ministry opportunities. Sharing in ministry deepens relationships and helps us to grow spiritually.
The fourth level of fellowship is Kinship: Loving believers as family. This is the deepest level of fellowship, when we actually become a spiritual family. I can tell you this morning that I am closer to many of you than I am members of my own family, and I know the same is true for you. And it is not necessarily because there is anything wrong with the people in my family — although, like me, than can be a little strange — but I do not share faith in Christ with some of them. I do not share with them like I share with you in our groups. I am understood and loved at a level that I do not have with some of them. We share a common vision and common goals. We have a common love for Jesus. The Bible tells us what our fellowship should be like when it says: “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves” (1 John 3:16, Message).
This scripture is lived out in dramatic ways in other countries where persecution is rampant. Around the world, millions of Christians lose their lives just because they follow Jesus Christ. There are more people dying for their faith today than at any other time in history. There are more people dying for their faith today than at any other time in history. Over ten million Christians die every year, mostly in either communist or Muslim countries, simply for believing in and loving Jesus. They take the verse we read literally. They are laying down their lives for each other. They take a bullet intended for another brother or sister. They protect them or hide them at the cost of their homes, or even their lives. It is hard for us to even grasp what our brothers and sisters are going through. And they are a part of our family too! We need to be praying for them. But I can tell you that the level of their fellowship is beyond anything we know, or ever will know, unless we are at some time faced with the same kind of persecution.
How do we follow the example of these believers and have kinship in this country where our rights are protected and we have so many freedoms? We protect each other from criticism. We stand with each other as we are going through a crisis. We forgive each other, overlook each other’s faults, let go of pet peeves and annoyances. We love each other from the heart. I can tell you that when your life is over, God is not going to measure your life by your accomplishments, but by your relationships. I have sat by a lot of dying people and I have never heard any of them say, “Would you bring my appointment book, my checkbook and my awards.” They always ask for people — the people they love. One day you are going to figure that out and it will change the way you live. You will begin to live out your purpose. Jesus said, “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other” (John 13:34-35). In the end, your life will be defined and measured by your relationships.
In a culture where isolation and alienation are so prevalent, we have an enormous opportunity. People are hungry for relationships. They are starving for the kind of love we have to give. And when the church becomes what God has called us to become, we will not have room for all the people. The apostle John wrote, “So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the Devil. Anyone who does not obey God’s commands and does not love other Christians does not belong to God” (1 John 3:10, New Living). Later on he said, “The way we know we’ve been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn’t love is as good as dead” (1 John 3:14, New Living).
I just read about a recent survey done by the Gallup organization which said that nearly eight out of 10 (77%) people who were involved in a faith community “strongly agreed” or “agreed” with the statement, “I am completely satisfied with my life.” Only about six out of 10 (62%) of those surveyed who claimed to be “actively religious,” but were not involved in a meaningful faith community, claimed to be satisfied with their lives.
Let me ask an important question: “At what level of fellowship are you living?” You might be a member, but have you progressed to friendship, partnership and kinship in the way we have been describing? Have you been transferred from death to life? You can by praying this prayer with me: “Dear God, I want to be a part of your family and I want to learn to love my spiritual family just like you do. Forgive me for taking it casually. I want to grow in the levels of fellowship, so today I’m choosing to belong. I’m not going to float around anymore. I want to learn to share and make time to develop real friendships. I want to do my part in the family of God. I want to learn to love other believers like brothers and sisters. Teach me the meaning of real love. In your name I pray, Amen.”
Rodney J. Buchanan
March 7, 2004
Mulberry St. UMC
Mt. Vernon, OH
www.MulberryUMC.org
Rod.Buchanan@MulberryUMC.org
