INTRODUCTION:
Attack on Marriage and Family - This is not a simple matter of rights and privileges. Insurance, parental controls, visitation rights, etc. The homosexual agenda has made startling ground in their attempt to dismantle the institution of marriage. How did we get to the point where our legislators are reviewing bills that embrace same sex marriages? How did we get to the point where the State of California is licensing same sex marriages? We fell asleep on our watch!
Humorous Illustration: Muskee’s in the henhouse again Deputy Dawg! Every time Deputy Dawg would take a nap on the front porch of the Sheriff’s Office, they’d come running yelling Deputy Dawg! Deputy Dawg, Muskee’s in the henhouse again Deputy Dawg! That was funny then. Its not funny anymore. We got where we are in my lifetime folks. It started when men fell asleep on duty. When men traded the moral authority invested in them as husbands for more pleasurable devices, a downward spiral began that is leaving our society morally bankrupt. Nothing in America has been left untouched by this disaster… from the tripling of the divorce rate to the astronomical increase in abortions. The state of the churches in America is directly related to this dismantling of the family. The Family is the foundation of this nation - it possesses an authority that is not present in anywhere else.
Legally we must protect and fight for family rights for the simple reason that the family is the only God ordained institution of its kind. The only household arrangement that carries the weight of this authority is that in which a man and a woman unite in “holy matrimony”. In a moment we will discuss the details of what makes a marriage holy. For this argument I want you to see that every other arrangement is “powerless”.
Without this anointing from God our nation has no moral power to stand. “You cannot be mentally or physically strong while you are morally wrong“. That makes the current legal issues surrounding the sanctity of marriage important to you. If your country abandons its moral authority in the family you will forfeit your ability to make any moral stand on any issue.
We, God’s people, have been entrusted with His authority in this area to provide an incubator for all other institutions. Local, State, Federal and all Civic organizations all derive their authority as an extension of that imparted on the family. When we lose this focus, “what is right” is replaced by the demands of the majority. The majority of people in this country are not Christian. It is foreign to Christian values to promote the idea that the majority rules caries more authoritative weight than the covenants of our Creator. Keep informed and keep active in the fight for family.
SERMON IDEA: Ephesians 5 and 6 show us 5 Keys to a Healthy Family
SCRIPTURE READING: Ephesians 5:22-6::4
1st KEY: A Healthy Family Has God as the Foundation (Eph 5:1)
Explain: Our families are to be formed by and fashioned to follow God not governments.
Legal Institution vs. Spiritual Covenant - In my opening remarks I stated we would discuss further this idea of holy matrimony. While it is absolutely necessary to fight for the legal rights of the family, we can in no way rely on the government to sanctify our marriages. Gen 2 describes God bringing a man and a women together in a covenantal arrangement that He binds together. It is a mirror of the relationship of the Trinity and the church and Jesus. Equal in essence but subordinate in function. The Bible is clear that men and women are created as equal bearers of God’s image. Each however, has a different role on earth. That is not an infinite role, in that Jesus proclaimed that we are neither given to marriage or divorce in heaven. The marriage covenant is established here, on earth for specific purposes.
When a man leaves his father and mother he establishes a new household. He is to represent God’s spiritual authority over that household with his wife as a helpmate. We have traded this idea of a holy marriage in for something less. Just as we cannot rely on the government to sanctify our marriages, we cannot rely on the church either. Getting married in the church no more qualifies as holy matrimony than a marriage license from the state of North Carolina. The Bible says what God has joined together, not Gov. Brown, or Rev. Jones.
This, is a health issue. For our families to be healthy they must have God as the foundation. How? Look it 5:1 “Follow God’s example in everything you do.”
Illustration: Imitating God - copy cat. If you see God doing something, copy that. It takes my karate students months of following me through our choreographed moves before they learn them. Even after they have tested on them, they must keep them up or they forget them, get them mixed up. You must do the same in your relationship with God. You must practice doing what He does or you will substitute the real thing for something easier to remember. I teach my students not to stop if they forget a move during a competition. Most of the judges are from different systems so they are not likely to know the specific order of the form. They know a bad technique though whether its in the right order or not. But improvising doesn’t work for God. He knows what He’s doing and what He expects of you. I don’t think I’ll ever get good enough at doing God’s work to take my eyes off Him and go at it on my own.
2nd KEY: A Healthy Family Has a Commitment to Submission (Eph 5:21)
Explain: Here is a blinding flash of the obvious! In a healthy family everyone can’t do whatever they want.
Illustration: For example in my house: Seth drops his clothes wherever he wants. I leave my stuff laying wherever I am when I’m through with it. Before you know it Beth throws all our stuff out in the back yard. Listen to me on this one folks, this is the voice of experience talking. Seriously, we must live in submission to Jesus and to each other.
Application:
A. Husbands to Jesus. This is an absolute must as a starting point.
1. Firm and Decisive but Humble and Unselfish
2. Love your wife. Not love yourself off of her.
3. Encourage her spiritual growth
B. Wives - Husbands Godly women do not consent to ungodly acts / demands
1. Humility and submission are the most motivating tools wives possess.
2. Being the right person is more important than finding the right person.
3. Wives have a God given ability to nurture positive change in their spouse. When this influence is abused, husbands become hardened and unwilling to lead.
C. Children to parents - The promise goes beyond first 18 years
Respect / honor: those who find it hard to respect or honor others have an unbalanced view of themselves. (Rom 12:10 “take delight in honoring each other”) (Phil 2:3 “think of others as better than yourselves“)
Application: Ranking or Placing our relationships in order:
A. Commitment to each other
1 Peter 4:9 Hospitable to each other
1 Cor 12:26 Care for one another (selfless not lip service)
James 5:16 Pray for each other
James 5:19 Restore one another
Col 3:16 Teach one another
Gal 5:13 Serve one another
B. Christian Maturity - time with Jesus being obedient.
C. Unconditional Love - invest in your family
1. Understand each other 1 Peter3:7
Yogi Baera “You can hear an awful lot by just listening”
James 1:9 “quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger”
2. Generous with praise cautious with promises Ecc 5”follow through or be foolish”
3. Continually offer encouragement
(a) Smile - Job used a smile to encourage others
(b) Words - man does not live by bread alone, he needs buttering up as well
(c) Andrew Carnegie “People are developed the same way you mine gold. Several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but you don’t go into the mine looking for dirt.”
3rd KEY: A Healthy Family Promotes Loyalty and Faithfulness (Eph 6:1)
Explain: Trust is built over time and through trials. People, especially in families, need the security of knowing others will not take their place.
Illustration: Bonding - tape analogy. Using clear packing tape, demonstrate how our ability to bond with each other lessens each time we attempt to bond inappropriately with others. Place the tape on the arm of someone an remove it. Repeat this several times, each time showing the audience how hair, flesh, dirt and oil stick to the tape when its removed. Also point out how ineffective each successive attempt to apply the tape becomes.
Application: Loyalty and Faithfulness are encouraged in relationships when:
A. Partnering means not getting your way all the time
B. Positive Communication rules
1. Criticize only after making 5 positive statements
2. Guard your tongue - accusations, name calling, always, never
3. History belongs in the past, stay in the present
4. Don’t blame or yell Prov 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath”
C. Honesty is a priority - Trust is hard to regain once lost. 5:9 “for this light that is in you only produces what is good and right and true”
4th KEY: A Healthy Family Experiences Good Parenting (Eph 6:4)
Explain: Good parenting takes the effort of both parents and children. During the teen years, when an increasing amount of personal accountability is promoted, a team mentality is very helpful.
Illustration: In the context of a team, the parents are the coaches and the children are the players. Everyone’s goal is to see the players score. As coaches, we teach fundamentals and encourage top performance while managing the game. Any coach will tell you it takes skill in a number of motivational techniques to ensure continued success. It also takes players who are coachable. The idea of “not provoking your children to wrath” should be extended to include always giving them a clear vision on how to succeed in every situation. This keeps them from loosing hope, becoming frustrated or giving in to unproductive emotions and habits.
Application: T best coaches -
A.. keep their spiritual life in order
B. remember coaching is more than just surviving
C. understand they are accountable (Deut 6:1-9)
D. believe that success comes from self sacrifice not self gratification
E. model a biblical lifestyle
F. spell devotion - T I M E
DIVISION 5: A Healthy Family Forgives Easily
Explain: You can’t live in the past. We must move on past the hurt and pain of disappointing loses. This is where the difference between forgiveness and trust is most obvious.
Application:
A. We are to forgive as quickly and often as necessary.
B. Trust is something that is rebuilt after the miracle of forgiveness and reconciliation.
C. If the family is a team, this is another fundamental skill that gets easier the more it is practiced. Think of as a double play in baseball. A ground ball is hit the third baseman. He misses it. But the SS has been taught during repeated practices to be there in case he makes a mistake. Therefore, because he is conditioned to “back up third“, he picks up the ball throws it to second who then wheels and finishes the play at first. When the play is over, the SS pats the 3B on the butt , a lot of spitting takes place and they all go in to bat.
D. A pitcher throws with more confidence if he knows the team is working that way. In the same way members of a healthy family know it is safe to make mistakes sometimes. That makes it a lot easier for everyone to do their job to their best ability.
CONCLUSION: Parallels between Marriage and Salvation. “Faithful Parents Faithful Kids” Johnson and Yorkey. Tyndale House Publishers
Today consider this analogy from Faithful Parents Faithful Kids as you prepare for our invitation:
1. Learn about God
2. Learn more about Him and what He did through Jesus
3. Count the cost of committing to Him
4. Accept Him and begin building a relationship with Him
1. Meet hear about a girl
2. Courting her to get to know her better
3. Determine if this is the one commit your life to.
4. Proposal, marriage and build a relationship
