“What Every Kid Needs: A Role Model”
Ephesians 5: 1-7
February 22, 2004
Intro: Steve DeVore has built a multi-million dollar company on the principle of role modeling. DeVore is president of Syber Vision, a company that markets instructional video and audio tapes on everything from golf to skiing to weight control. When DeVore was in college, he happened to watch a bowling tournament on television.
-As he paid close attention to the movements of the bowlers, the thought struck him that if he could emulate their movements, he could probably achieve the same results.
After watching the bowlers closely for thirty minutes, he got in his car and drove to the local bowling alley.
-He got an alley, picked out a ball, and for the next thirty minutes he did just as the professional bowlers had done on TV. He threw nine straight strikes and recorded a score of 278. His highest score up to that point was 163. By emulating a proficient role model, he improved his performance by 115 pins. But the key was just as. He had to do it just as the pros.
-W/that in mind I want to ask you a question. If you’re children we’re to emulate your life as closely as Steve DeVore did professional bowlers, what kind of life performance would your child turn in? Would your child improve his life by 115 pins or would he be throwing gutter balls?
-If your child acted just as you did, what kind of a person would he be? What are the things he’d value in life? How would he treat other people? Would he value a relationship w/God? As I’ve thought @ that question it’s spurred me on to want to reexamine the kind of example I’m giving to my children.
Sermon Idea: Most of us tend to think that the ultimate goal of Xianity is to go to heaven. Now I agree it’s one of the most attractive things @ Xianity. But the Xian faith has other goals as well. And one of the goals we’ll see in our text today is for Xians to live lives like God. God desires for our relationship w/Him to affect us, not only concerning eternity, but while we live and breathe here on earth.
-And if we’re going to live lives like God we’re going to need role models to set the example on how to do it. And parents, I’m here to tell you that you have the potential to be the greatest role model in the life of your child. So we’re going to see 3 things to model for your children.
TEXT: EPHESIANS 5: 1-7
Bckgrd: Ephesus was one of the premier cities in the world major at this time. It had a population of 250,000 people. It was a major trading city and was also home to the Temple of Diana, which was one of the 7 Wonders of the World. The temple had a major effect on the city in its commerce thru idol making and also the lifestyle practices it promoted, which leaned heavily towards sexual immorality.
-The temple teachings were ingrained in the Ephesians and Paul knew the people needed a different role model if they were going to be blessed by God. So Paul set out to give the people a new role model for living which was Jesus.
-Now guys, let me tell you something. We’re living in a world very similar to Ephesus. We don’t have the Temple of Diana but we do have televisions and movies that promote living lives contrary to how God wants us to live. I’d be willing to venture that most of our entertainment is focused on financial and sexual gratification. And following that type of model isn’t going to get us anywhere near a relationship w/God. And guess who’s being impacted the greatest by this type of entertainment? It’s our children.
-Our kids don’t need the entertainment industry being the major role model in their lives. They need their parents to be the major role model in their lives. Well, what are parents to model for their children? We’re going to see 3 things we should model for our children. The 1st thing we should model for our children is:
DIV. 1: JESUS (vv. 1-2)
Exp: Paul tells us we’re to be imitators of God. The word “imitate” means “to mimic; to copy.” If you’ve been around children long enough you know they’re experts at copying others. One of Emily’s least favorite renditions of mimicking others is when our children start repeating everything she’s just said. We’ll be at the dinner table and she’ll say, “Pass the salt.” And then Hank or Glyn will say “Pass the salt.”
A. Emily will tell them to stop it and then they’ll say “Stop it.” And she typically gets irritated at me b/c I still find it funny. Emily says it’s b/c I’m a little brother. But while mimicking others can be irritating at times, mimicking is actually an excellent way to learn.
1. Think of all the things you’ve learned to do simply by watching others. I learned to throw a baseball by watching my father. He threw the baseball for me and I imitated his throwing motion. Some of you learned to drive by learning from your parents. Others of you have the job you do today b/c someone you respected had the same type of job and greatly influenced your life.
a. Some of you are great cooks b/c you watched your mother or grandmother very closely. Mimicking is something that can actually be good. But if you’re a parent one thing you’ve got to make sure of is that you’re giving an example that’s worth mimicking.
ILLUS: Let me give you an example. Just getting out of the driveway can be a major feat during snow and ice storms. One co-worker was relating how he used his seven-year-old son’s baseball bat to smash the slick coat of ice on his driveway.
-He got cold and went inside for a cup of coffee before attempting to clear the car. Several minutes later, his son, who had been outside with him, came in. “Dad,” he said, “I got the ice off the car.” “How did you do that?” his father asked. “Same way you did,” the boy shrugged, “with the baseball bat.”
b. Better be careful w/the kind of example you’re setting. Now what example does God set for us that we ought to pass on to our children by living it out? You’ll notice v. 1 starts off by saying, “Be imitators of God, therefore.” The “therefore” is referring us back to the previous verse which is Eph. 4: 32 which says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
2. You want to be like God? Then be kind and compassionate to people! That’s really not something we see a whole lot of. We need to see a demonstration of grace in our world today. For some reason we think it’s okay to be rude to people. But when you’re rude to fellow drivers on the road; when you’re rude to your waitress or flight attendant for poor service; your kids notice.
a. But if you’re going to set the example for them, then you must be like Christ and demonstrate kindness regardless of circumstance. You must offer forgiveness even when you’ve been wronged! Why? B/c that’s the way Christ has treated you and our goal is to imitate Him. You might wonder, “Why would I want to imitate Christ?” The same reason you’d rather imitate Tiger Wood’s golf swing instead of mine. B/c Christ is perfect.
b. Heb. 4: 15-“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize w/our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was w/o sin.” 2 Cor. 5: 21-“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”
B. If you’re going to be a role model for your children that’s worthwhile then you need to make sure you’re imitating God. And a part of imitating God is having a willingness to sacrifice for those you love.
1. V. 2 tells us Jesus gave Himself up for us as a sacrifice. Why? B/c w/o His leadership; w/o His direction we’d end up lost. We’d end up separated from the favor of God. So Jesus stepped onto the scene and pointed us in the direction we’d need to go.
a. Parents, w/o your sacrifice; w/o you putting your selfish interests to the side; your children are going to end up getting lost. They’re going to end up following someone who doesn’t have their best interest at heart. They’re going to be, as Jesus said, like sheep w/o a shepherd.
b. Imitate God. Look in the Scripture and discover how God loves all people. John 3: 16-“For God so loved the world.” Look in the Scripture and see how God tells us in Matt. 5: 44 to love your enemies. Does it work? Does it pay off? Let me read to you from Prov. 22: 6-“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
2. How are you training your child? What kind of example are you setting for your children?
Reit: The 1st thing we should model for our children is Jesus. The 2nd thing we should model for our children is:
DIV. 2: PURITY (v. 3)
Exp: Paul lists 3 areas of life we’re to remain pure in. And all 3 areas are dealing w/the idea of sexual purity. Parents, you better be the ones setting this example for your children b/c you’re kids will be hard pressed to find it from anyone else.
A. There is no doubt our kids need to see godly role models in the area of sex. B/c the role models most of them have are terrible. The idea of keeping sex between a husband and wife probably isn’t as attractive as it used to be considering the instability of most marriages. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce and a substantial # of the ones that don’t end in divorce being miserable, our kids aren’t getting a good picture of marriage.
1. So where are our kids receiving instruction in the area of sex? The television! I told you a couple of weeks ago the average American spends over 30 hours a week watching TV and when you consider what’s on TV that’s frightening. TV shows, whether they be sitcoms or dramas, glorify sex. Think @ some of the most popular shows on TV: Friends, Will and Grace, Scrubs, ER, NYPD Blue, and Frasier. Every one of these shows holds to a non-biblical view @ sex.
a. So I’ve come to the conclusion that if our kids are going to have a role model for purity they’re going to have to find it w/mom and dad or the church. And we better make sure we’re offering a pure example to them.
b. Now as I’m saying this I don’t want you to think I’m saying sex is bad. Too many people believe that God’s teaching on sex is prudish; that it’s wrong. But you won’t find any teaching in the Bible condemning sex. But God has set up parameters where it’s to take place and it’s only to take place w/in marriage!
2. That means it’s not to take place before you’re married. And God has set that standard for us, not to be a party pooper, but to protect us. Think of what our children will protect themselves from if they follow God’s standard for sex. They’ll be safe from disease, from pregnancy, from guilt, from emotional scars and jealousy to name a few.
a. The people of Ephesus didn’t follow God’s formula for sex. They were very promiscuous. And that’s our society as well. And the result is many of our kids are going to grow up having a perverted view of sex and marriage. While some people think Xians devalue sex and try to hide from it, the fact of the matter is we value it more than anyone else.
ILLUS: What is it that makes gold and I mean pure gold so valuable? Why will people spend exorbitant amounts of $ for gold necklaces, bracelets and rings? I have to admit I’m pretty ignorant when it comes to jewelry. I had no idea what 10 karat, 14 karat, and 24 karat gold meant. But I quickly learned that the karats had to do w/the purity of the gold. The higher the karat, the purer the gold, and the more value that it had.
-So what does that mean? It means the purer something is the more value it carries w/it. This is true in just @ every area of life. We value purity in our jewelry. We value purity in our water. How many of you like drinking water out of a sewer? None of us do! We want the water to be pure b/c we know the purer it is the better for us it is. We value purity in our air.
-When someone is having difficulty breathing, many times paramedics will give them pure oxygen—something their body is craving, but their lungs can’t get enough of the impurities out of the air on their own.
b. In a similar sense we want these things to be pure, we should also have a desire to have purity in the sexual aspect of the marriage relationship. B/c as we all know the purer something is the better for us it is.
B. How do we apply this in the teaching of our children? By demonstrating thru your actions that you love and are committed to your spouse. Treat your spouse w/respect. Listen to what they have to say. Tell you spouse in front of your children that you love them.
1. When you deem your child old enough, talk to them @ sex and God’s intentions for it. Also, guard what you put into your mind. Your mind is the staging ground for action. Let your children see you putting good and wholesome things into your mind, such as reading Scripture, listening to edifying music, attending Bible studies, and avoiding blatantly ungodly forms of entertainment.
a. Rom. 12: 2-“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Reit: The 1st thing we should model for our children is Jesus. The 2nd thing is purity. And the final thing we should model for our children is:
DIV. 3: GOOD SPEECH (v. 4)
ILLUS: A man working in the produce department was asked by a lady if she could buy half a head of lettuce. He replied, “Half a head? Are you serious? God grows these in whole heads and that’s how we sell them!” She replied, “You mean that after all the years I’ve shopped here, you won’t sell me half-a-head of lettuce?”
-He said, “Look. If you like I’ll ask the manager.” She indicated that would be appreciated, so the young man marched to the front of the store and said, “You won’t believe this, but there’s a lame-braided idiot of a lady back there who wants to know if she can buy half-a-head of lettuce.” He noticed the manager gesturing, and turned around to see the lady standing behind him, obviously having followed him to the front of the store.
-He then said, “And this nice lady was wondering if she could buy the other half.” Later in the day the manager cornered the young man and said, “That was the finest example of thinking on your feet I’ve ever seen! Where did you learn that?” He said, “I grew up in Grand Rapids, and if you know anything about Grand Rapids, you know that it’s known for its great hockey teams and its ugly women.”
-The manager’s face flushed, and he interrupted, “My wife is from Grand Rapids!” The young man said, “Oh really. And which hockey team did she play for?”
Exp: It’s always important to keep watch over what you say! As w/everything, this is easier said than done. There’s no doubt my mouth gets me in trouble more than anything else. I have the hardest time controlling what comes out of my mouth. There are times when I say things and I sit back and say to myself, “Why in the world did I just say that?”
A. James 3: 6, 8-“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell…no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
1. It’s interesting to see that the tongue is one of the smaller parts of the body and yet the Bible says it has the ability to corrupt the whole person. Why is that? B/c the tongue is able to communicate to the people around us what’s really in our heart; what’s really in our minds.
a. Jesus said in Matt. 12: 34-35-“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”
b. You can be careful w/your speech for a while, but eventually what’s inside of you is going to come pouring out of your mouth. And what comes out of your mouth has the ability to fill people w/hope and encouragement or to rip their heart out. Which causes me to ask the question, “What does your speech say @ what’s on the inside of you?” B/c what comes out of you describes who you are.
2. Paul gives us a few conversational no-no’s. He tells us to stay away from obscene talk and coarse joking. Now this doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of humor. But the word “joking” means “able to turn easily.” This suggests a person who can turn any statement into a coarse joke.
a. Now having a quick wit is a gift, but when it’s attached to a filthy mind it’s a curse. Using humor in poor taste pollutes the people around us. It has no edifying quality @ it whatsoever. But your speech also has the power to give life or death to people.
b. Prov. 18: 21-“The tongue has the power of life and death.” How are you using your speech w/your children? Are you encouraging your kids w/the way you talk? Does your conversation w/your children ever move beyond sports or the latest fashions? Parents, we have children who are interested in what we say. We have children who care @ what we think.
B. So we need to make sure we’re careful w/what comes out of our mouths. And we need to make sure we take the time to share spiritual truths w/our children. What is it that’s coming out of your mouth? Is it edifying or destructive?
Conclusion: Every child needs a role model. And if you’re a parent, your children ought to be able find a role model in you. You might say, “How can I be a good role model for them?” Paul shares w/us 3 things we can model before our children. 1st, model Jesus. 2nd, model purity. And finally, model good speech.
-If you’re ready to step up to the plate and say you want to model these things before your children, then take time to pray and ask God for His help. Ask God to help you be the role model your child needs. Ask God to help you be a person your child can look to, to see an example of what it means to live for Jesus.
-Others of you need to take the first step of modeling Jesus by asking Him to have charge of your life. You see, you can’t model Jesus until you give Him control of your life. You can do that by praying this prayer after me: Dear Jesus, I know I’m a sinner. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I know you died for me and rose from the grave. I ask you to save me.
-If you prayed that prayer, take your bulletin insert and put your name on it and check the line where it says you asked Jesus to be your Savior. Then turn it in the offering basket in a few minutes and we’ll be able to get you some information on how you can grow in your walk w/Jesus.
