1Co 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Building Great Relationships:
The Necessity of Love in Relationships (I Cor. 13:1-3)
□ was this a joke that went too far?
□ did they really love each other?
□ would the marriage last?
The questions were (mostly) answered 55 hours later, when the marriage was officially annulled. In fact, I have a copy of the annulment papers that I located on the internet. (*www.thesmokinggun.com) [Hold them up – they will become a symbol of what I’m going to call “Britney-love”.]
Now the story is circulating that Ms. Spears might have paid Jason Alexander $500,000 to annul the marriage. (Let’s see, that adds up to a little over $10,000 PER HOUR!)
Contrast that with:
My parents - Married for 25 years, both of them their first marriage.
My grandparents on my mom’s side - about 60 years, first marriage
My grandparents on my dad’s side - 60 years, first marriage.
I know, some of you probably look at me like. . . OK, you’ve been married for 1 ½ years. What do you know about love and marriage? Well, I haven’t been married for very long – but I come from a family history of committed, happy marriages, and I’ve learned quite a bit from watching them.
I’ve also learned a good bit from the One who designed marriage. . . the One who first said, “It is not good that man should be alone...” I’ve read and studied his MANUAL extensively, and everything I share with you will be based, NOT on what I think, but on what God thinks.
THE FOUR LOVES:
This month, we’re going to be looking into I Corinthians 13, what is commonly called the “Love Chapter”. It’s called that because the word “LOVE” is used 8 times in this chapter.
Now here’s an interesting fact I want to share with you. Did you know that the word we call “love” in English is actually translated from four different Greek words for love.
I want to mention this, because I want to show you the difference between the “God” kind of love
Let me write these four words here on the board:
- Storge (STOR-gay)
- Philos (PHIL-ahs)
- Eros (ER-ahs)
- Agape (a-GAH-pay)
What do these words mean? Well, here’s the breakdown:
- Storge - Parent-child love.
- Philos - (Comes from the same root as the Philadelphia - the City of “Brotherly Love”) This is a friend-friend love.
- Eros - (comes from the same root as “erotic”) it’s sexual attraction.
- Agape - means unconditional love. Love without expecting to be repaid. Love because it’s the right thing to do.
Guess which one the Bible uses for this whole chapter?? You’re right! AGAPE! Now, there’s nothing WRONG with the other kinds of love. . . they’re all great in their own proper time and proper context. But the other kinds of love are NOT what long-term, built-to-last relationships are built on!
- Nothing wrong with having friends. . .
- Nothing wrong with loving your kids. . . (you better!)
- Nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to your wife. . . (you should be!)
- But it’s AGAPE that long-term relationships are built on.
When it comes to building your marriage, these kinds here are “Britney-love”
Let me ask you for feedback:
- Approximately 50% of marriages today end in divorce. WHY IS THAT?
<[Feedback]>
You know what all these reasons come down to? They tried to build their marriage on something other than “God-love” - AGAPE!
Let’s look at the Scriptures today. They give us several things that we can’t afford to build our relationships on:
1. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter how gifted you are. (13:1)
1Co 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you’re a preacher.
"v.2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,."
This verse talks about prophecy. When you boil it down, prophecy means “to speak for God.” So if you’re a person who stands up and tells others what God thinks about it, but you don’t have love, it’s not going to help your relationships one bit!!
3. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you have great faith.
V.2 “...and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
You might say, “Hey, I’ve got a really deep faith. Won’t that help in my marriage?” The answer is YES – but ONLY if the foundation is LOVE – “God love”, not “Britney-love.”
4. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you’re self-sacrificing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Now, you might say, “Wait a minute!” I thought that this was important – I thought people who were really loving were self-sacrificing.”
Well, they are. But the point I’m making is this: Self-sacrificing must be because you are unconditionally committed to loving the other person. . .
Have you ever heard anyone say, “After all I gave up to marry YOU. . . this is what you give me???!!!”
There’s a person who “bestowed all their goods to feed the poor” but didn’t have love!
Have you ever heard someone say, “I could have had a great career if I hadn’t married you!”
There’s a person who was self-sacrificing, but never based it on a “God-love” for the other person!
The woman met with the doctor outside her husband’s hospital room. "It’s serious, but treatable," said the doctor. "Your husband will only live about six months. . .unless you follow my instructions. Every day when he comes home from work, be waiting at the door. Make sure the house is spotless, bring him his favorite slippers and robe, get him something cold to drink, and give him a back rub. Bring him a magazine, and get him in his favorite easy chair. . . " Ad lib. . .
"I just have one request, doctor," Said the woman. "Let me tell my husband alone."
"Certainly ma’am."
The woman went back into the room, and came to her husband. With a tear in her eye, she said, "The doctor said you’re gonna die."
When the chips are down, what kind of love are you building on?
HANDOUT
The Foundation of Great Relationships
“If I don’t have love, I am nothing.” (I Corinthians 13:2)
Britney Spears’ recent marriage lasted ________ hours.
- Storge - _________-__________ love.
- Philos - This is a ___________-____________ love.
- Eros - ___________ attraction.
- Agape - means _______________ love. Love without expecting to be ____________.
About _______% of marriages today end in divorce.
The Bible tells us the foundations we can’t afford to build on!
1. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter how ______________ you are. (13:1)
1Co 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you’re a _____________.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,.
3. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you have great __________.
V.2 “...and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
4. If you don’t have love, it doesn’t matter if you’re __________-_______________.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
