WALKING AROUND FOR WORDS
“Controlling Rumor and Slander”
Proverbs 11:13
A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
R.G. LeTourneau, the owner of a large earth moving equipment company, often told this story: “We used to have a scraper known as the model “G”. Somebody asked one of our salesmen one day what the “G” stood for. The salesman was pretty quick on the trigger, and after thinking a few seconds, replied, “Well, I guess the “G” stands for gossip, because like gossip, this machine moves a lot of dirt, and moves it fast!”
INTRODUCTION: Once rumor and slander begin, it is tough to win against them! As we seek to bring our tongues under control – to adjust our speaking and communication on a more Godly course, we must deal with this area of rumor and slander. The key difference with these two destructive areas of speech is what lies behind them. Are they idle communication, or intentional communication? Yet, regardless of intent, both have no place in the life of a believer, and God has given us some wisdom in dealing with them.
I THE ROOT OF TRASH TALK
Tim. 5:13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.
A Our Nature – We are curious people
1 We like to hear the news
2 Want to know what is happening
3 The juicier the better!
I am amazed at the proliferation of gossip magazines and newspapers. Each having a different scope EVERY week. Each placed where you have to see them! We are curious people indeed!
B Our Time – We have too much of it!
1 Would you ever have expected me to say we have too much time?
2 Well, we do if we have time to gossip and spread slander.
3 Today it has gotten easier: telephones, emails, and websites.
a Type in a couple of key words and BINGO – everything you wanted to know about everything!
C Our Ego
1 We like to be the center of attention, and nothing puts us at the center than knowing something no one else knows
2 We like to be “elevated”, and speaking negatively about someone else allows me to feel better about myself.
3 We feel the need for some sort of revenge.
There was a time in my first church that I had to deal with a particular individual. She served as the music director of the church. In fact, before I had gotten there the church had voted this person as the Music Director, the Pianist, and The Organist -- all at the same time. Each time I tried to make any adjustment to the music, or to encourage others to use their musically based gifts, I was thwarted. After several attempts to deal with this problem, I finally asked for their resignation. They left, taking about ten people with them, and soon a rumor circulated around the town, that I had refused to visit their spouse who was sick , and had been one of the most committed people in the church. I had never even met the person. For almost 6 months, my name was mud.
4 We need comfort – misery still loves company
“TRASH TALK”, IS EITHER IDLE AND DAMAGING, OR INTENTIONAL AND MALICIOUS
II THE SEED OF RUMOR IS GOSSIP
A Whispering is not bad in and of itself, yet, in Scripture whispering is NEVER used in a positive way
1 Whispering in Scripture is a figurative expression for gossip
THE BOOK OF PROVERBS HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT GOSSIP OR WHISPERERS
B The Truth About Gossips
1 Gossips are untrustworthy
Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
2 Gossips are accelerants
a Gasoline
b Lays Potato Chips – Once you start, too good to stop
Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
3 Gossips are wedges
a Can gossip to a person
b Can gossip about a person too
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
C The Problem With Gossip
1 Gossip allows evil a foothold in our lives
2 Gossip ruins my fellowship with God
Psalm 15:1-3
A psalm of David.
LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? 2He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart 3and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,
Romans 1:28-30 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
AS DANGEROUS AS GOSSIP IS – IT IS POSSIBLE TO TAKE GOSSIP TO A NEW LEVEL – SLANDER
Slander is when idle chatter moves to intentional sharing!
III SLANDER – GOSSIP TO A NEW LEVEL
A Slanders Direction
1 In the Old Testament, Slander comes from root word meaning foot
a To strip one of a positive reputation
2 In the New Testament, Slander is a compound word meaning to speak against
a Same word for devilish or diabolical
B Slanders Predicament
1 Slander sets us in opposition with God
a We lose our fellowship with God
Psalm 15:1-3
A psalm of David.
LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? 2He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart 3and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,
b God work gets silent in our lives
Psalm 101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.
2 Slandering brands us
Proverbs 25:9-10 If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man’s confidence, 10or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.
3 Slander rebukes
Proverbs 30:10 "Do not slander a servant to his master, or he will curse you, and you will pay for it.
IV WHY WE HAVE THIS PROBLEM
A We think this is only a woman’s problem
1 We call it gossip
2 Men call is “shop talk”
B We have no problem sharing something – as long as it is true
1 Lack discernment regarding truth and the harm it may cause
2 Lack discernment regarding truth and confidentiality
C We spiritualize what we are saying
1 You will be able to pray MORE intelligently
a What – is God unaware?
b Who knows more about it than God!
D We want a closer relationship with the person we are telling.
1 We think the information will forge a bond
2 We think they will not tell anyone else
a Of course nobody thought you would tell either!
V THE BIBLICAL WAY TO DEAL WITH GOSSIP AND SLANDER
A If you gotta talk to somebody about it – talk to God about it!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
B Go to the person you heard about with a spirit of restoration
1 To do otherwise breaks God’s CLEAR instruction on the matter
Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
C Take the information to one who has the authority to deal with it.
Matthew 18:15-17 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ’every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
D Protect the victim
Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
Genesis 9:20-23 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. 21When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. 22Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers outside. 23But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father’s nakedness.
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