Understanding the Root of Happiness
What do you do when the wine runs out?
There are some happy moments in life. Take children for example. The day your child is born is a happy day. The day they say their first word and they take their first step are happy days. The 1st birthday is a happy day. And so is the day they first go to kindergarten.
Of course, when your kids are little they aren’t all happy days! Some are just plain busy and more than a little crazy. A young mother was asked, “If you had it to do all over again would you have children?” Her answer, “Yes…but not the same ones." I think this is the same woman who put her children to bed by telling them "It’s sanity time!" as she tucked them in to sleep.
Maybe, that’s why our child’s HS graduation day is such a happy day! And who can forget the most wonderful day of all - The day they move out on their own – Oh, glorious day! The food bill goes down, the shower water stays hot and the leftovers in the fridge stay left over.
Still another happy day is the day they marry. Amazingly, there is something about walking down the aisle to give your daughter to a wolf in a tuxedo that brings tears to your eyes. Weddings are happy days.
But what do you do when the wine runs out?
This Sunday we’ll be studying John 2:1-12 and getting an understanding of the root of happiness. In this first miracle of Jesus at Cana the wine ran out and the happiness of the wedding party was almost lost. The happiness of the moment almost became a tragedy
until Jesus turned water into wine.
Jesus miracle saved the day but he wants to do so much more. As you study this passage you’ll begin to understand the root of happiness. Even more important you will learn that your happiness is not God’s priority. His priority is far better and completely different...
John 2:1-12 (The Message)
2 Three days later there was a wedding in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there. Jesus and his disciples were guests also. When they started running low on wine at the wedding banquet, Jesus’ mother told him, “They’re just about out of wine.”
Jesus said, “Is that any of our business, Mother—yours or mine? This isn’t my time. Don’t push me.”
She went ahead anyway, telling the servants, “Whatever he tells you, do it.”
Six stoneware water pots were there, used by the Jews for ritual washings. Each held twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus ordered the servants, “Fill the pots with water.” And they filled them to the brim.
“Now fill your pitchers and take them to the host,” Jesus said, and they did.
When the host tasted the water that had become wine (he didn’t know what had just happened but the servants, of course, knew), he called out to the bridegroom, “Everybody I know begins with their finest wines and after the guests have had their fill brings in the cheap stuff. But you’ve saved the best till now!”
This act in Cana of Galilee was the first sign Jesus gave, the first glimpse of his glory. And his disciples believed in him.
After this he went down to Capernaum along with his mother, brothers, and disciples, and stayed several days.
Look at what happened in John 2:1-12
There was a wedding and the wine ran out. Weddings in Jesus day were no small affairs. They lasted for several days and the family was responsible to make sure that everyone had a good time.
Hosting a wedding and having the wine run out would be like having a dinner and not having enough food today. It was a serious social gaffe but not exactly on a par with losing a battle in a war. I mean no one dies and the great scheme of life it’s not really that big a deal.
But if you are throwing the party it’s pretty huge!
The simple fact is that every wedding day runs out of wine. Some quicker than others but eventually the party ends and real work of living with each other begins.
This is a simple fact of life – in every area of life. It’s exciting to get a promotion, or to land a new position. It’s exciting to be accepted in a school or to find out you are starting a family. It is wonderful to discover that your work has made a difference in your company.
In every circumstance of life the party eventually ends because the wine runs dry.
So what do you do when the wine runs out? You do what Mary did. You look to Jesus for his help.
But you and I must understand this: God is not all that interested in your happiness.
When Mary came to Jesus and explained about the wine his response was “yeah, so what”. Well – not exactly – but that’s pretty close! The lack of wine was not His problem. He was on this earth for a lot more important stuff than this little itsy-bitsy glitch.
I mean what does the God of the universe care about these little things in life. The wine has run out? So what. What does God care about these little things that don’t really matter that much in the big schemes of life.
So, you don’t like your job. The kids are out of control. The house is falling down around your ears? The washer broke? Your teenage daughter is taking drugs? The next door neighbor boy keeps driving on your lawn? Some crazy guy pulls in front of you and totals your truck and then you find out the crazy guy has police department badge and you have to be nice to him. The wine is gone in life and God says, “What has this got to do with me?”
Critical: You must understand the root of Happiness
The root of happiness is people, places, and things.
And because of this simple fact happiness is momentary. It’s wonderful while it lasts and that is the point. It will not last. Happiness is a temporary state of mind linked to wobbly, variable, and unreliable anchors.
Happiness depends on people and people come “as is”. They are inherently undependable. I recently missed an appointment to go over to some folks with a new home to ask with them for God’s blessing on it. I forgot. Totally and completely. I have a computer with a calendar. I carry a Palm-Pilot. I am married. I have all kinds of reminder systems in place and they all work well. But I forgot. Pathetic. Undependable. Wobbly.
That is a good definition of people. If you base your attitude on people you will be disappointed and let down.
Places don’t change like people do – but you can’t be in one place all of the time. Even if you are always there you aren’t always you. You change.
Things… well we know they don’t last they don’t satisfy. We know it but we keep trying!
Happiness is a fleeting emotion. The wine will always run out.
Remember: God is not all that interested in your happiness! But God does want you to have an abundance of life. That abundance is called joy – not happiness.
The difference between happiness and joy is the difference between a cheap plastic toy you buy at the dollar store and the sports program you enroll your kid in to teach them to play soccer. One lasts for all of 10 minutes and the lessons of the other last a lifetime. The training isn’t fun but the discipline, the skill, and the dexterity will bring great results for their entire life.
That is a tremendous difference. God isn’t into your happiness. He is very much into your joy.
That doesn’t mean that he won’t supply what you need to be happy!
God is not that interested in your happiness because he knows it won’t last longer than a balloon from the restaurant your two-year old simply has to have to be happy.
Yet, even though we know the balloon won’t last longer than a few hours we get it for them. Our father God is no less doting than we are! God will get us the balloon too!
God wants to give you what will make you happy
But to gain that happiness you have to be obedient!
After Mary came to Jesus she turned to the servants and told them to do whatever Jesus told them.
The way to happiness is through obedience! Not for approval. You don’t have to earn God’s love. He gave that to you through Jesus because of your worth. Romans 5 tells us that Jesus died for each one of us – while we were still sinners.
God wants us to be obedient because that is how we will the results we want – a good life! Think about it. The author of life has revealed through His word how to live. The Bible is a manual for living. But not only did he guide men to write down and reveal to us how to live he sent his son to show us how to live. We have the best of both worlds – a manual and an example!
It is obedience to his word and to his son that leads to happiness in this life and the next. It essentially comes down to this:
Do what God says even when it doesn’t make sense
Mary understood that and told the servants to obey.
Let me give you a real down to earth example inspired from this story about Jesus and the wedding – marriage
God has some things to say about marriage
One thing he says – and he says it very clearly - Stay married!
We live in a world that has diminished marriage and made it into a convenient living arrangement to save a few bucks. There are those who would suggest that there are and should be “starter” marriages.
God says that marriage is the joining of two souls into one and that it is supposed to be a taste of heaven.
I know a number of you have been divorced. I know that some of you have or may even be thinking about it.
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. God is divorced (Read Jeremiah) but God also hates divorce. It might be because he has experienced it.
Listen – staying married is the best way to have happiness in this life!
Now you don’t always have a choice. If the other person leaves – Paul says we are to let them leave. (1 Corinthians 7) That does not mean we are to push them out the door, either.
Where you have a choice about divorce – God says, “Don’t!”. God says so and so does a recent study by the University of Chicago. It showed couples that who stay in an unhappy marriage and endure it are more likely to be happy 5 years later than those who decide to divorce. The study noted that even if no work is done on the marriage, ongoing problems were often viewed in new perspective over time. And when both spouse worked on the marriage, many problems were solved and communication improved. Finally, if only one spouse worked on the marriage, there was improved happiness in the one spouse despite a mediocre marriage.
Those facts refute much conventional wisdom. They show that married men have more sex than single men. And married women are less depressed than single women.
More recently Waite has shown that divorce does not make unhappily married people any happier. In a study released in July 2002 she and five colleagues analyzed data from the University of Wisconsin’s National Survey of Family and Households. When the adults who said they were unhappily married in the late 1980s were interviewed again five years later, those who had divorced were on average still unhappy or even less happy, while those who stayed in their marriages on average had moved past the bad times and were at a happier stage.
Linda Waite, professor in Sociology, wrote the book, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially (Doubleday, 2000), co written by Maggie Gallagher of the Institute of American Values.
Guys… listen up (Ladies plug your ears – I’m semi-serious!)
It is mostly up to you. God commands you to be the source of love in the marriage. Read Ephesians 5 again… slowly!
The Meridian Men are meeting this Saturday and Dempsey Scott is going to lead us into some strategies on how to get really good at this.
We’re also sponsoring a “Date Night” for February 20th!
You want to be happy! Obey God! God gave you this book to guide you into the good life! Read it. Follow it. Learn it.
Happy are those who obey it.
God really wants to give you Joy – not happiness
Did you notice what the real miracle in this story??
It wasn’t just about water being changed into wine. It was the best wine! God does not fool around with second best.
The wine steward was shocked. “You have saved the best til now!” God wants you have the best.
Happiness is good wine – but the best wine is Joy
Happiness comes from getting good stuff. Joy comes from an attitude of gratitude
Being Joyful beats being happy any day!
When I was parenting my kids there were times that they were fussing about anything and everything. You know that whiney, jet engine like annoying noise that kids can make. It just drives me crazy. I used to send them to their room with the command, “Stay there until you can come out and be happy.”
A couple of years ago my I was at my daughter Sandi’s home and her children – my perfect and wonderful granddaughters were apparently making that noise – I certainly didn’t hear it!. She sent them to their rooms and said, “Don’t come out until you can be joyful.” Then she said be grateful for what you have.
Mary gave orders and then walked away… I think she knew that whatever he did it would be fine. She knew Jesus and she trusted him.
Joy comes from Jesus in your life and being grateful for what you have. When you learn that lesson it changes all of life! – no matter what it throws at you.
The root of Joy is Hope.
Hope is the expectation of something better. Hope is the cousin of Faith and the brother of love. Hope is the sure knowledge that the best is yet to come.
I feel sorry for those who look backwards with regret
I look forward with anticipation. For tomorrow. For next week. For next month. For next year. For the next decade. For the next life.
I am not just getting older – I am getting better! I keep learning and I refuse to just quit. I am having a lot more fun – Every day is a little sweeter than the one before it!
How about you
Life Lesson: Do God’s word and follow Jesus example in your life – and you will be happy.
Life Lesson: Put your hope in Jesus and you will enjoy the best wine in all of life! Jesus gives you Joy
