Producing Righteous Men of God
(Father’s Day 2002)
James 1:19-20
Introduction
Lucille Ball was on the Merv Griffin show and maybe out of his own desparation and desire for answers he asked this woman only known for her comedy "Lucille, you’ve lived a long time on this earth and you are a wise person. What’s happened to our country? What’s wrong with our children? Why are our families falling apart? What’s missing?" Lucy’s startling yet matter-of-fact reply came quickly. "Papa’s missing," she said. "Things are falling apart because Papa’s gone. If Papa were here, he would fix it." A unique book that I have on my shelf could bring terror into the Christian household it is called “faith of the Fatherless” and it chronicles the lives of the famous and infamous atheists that ever lived. Nietzsche, David Hume, Bertrand Russell, Jean-Paul Sartre, Voltaire, Sigmund Freud, HG Wells, Madalyn Murray-O’hare, just to name a few are all products of an absent father either by death or neglect or abusive father. We are in James 1:19,20. These verses just happen to land on Father’s Day it was not planned. God wants to speak to the dads at Commonwealth Chapel, I being one of them. He wants to teach us about our weak areas, show us the consequences and admonish us to change. God wants us to be righteous men of God, righteous as we listen to Him as we listen to her. Righteous with our speech when we are quick to speak and slow to think about the words we say and when we need to be quick to speak. God wants us to be righteous in our attitude towards our family slow to wrath. From the scripture we may get a glimpse at some things that produce the righteousness of God
1) The righteous man Listens (God, wife, kids)
a) Selective hearing is not righteousness
i) We think our kids have selective hearing so do men
ii) In youth ministry it is often hard to get the attention of youth when they are talking and carrying on you can scream and yell and yet there is no attention and so I found out how to do it. I yelled SEX!
iii) Selective hearing is listening to things that you want to hear and not listening to information that you don’t want to hear.
iv) Selective hearing is a nice way of saying that someone only listens to what they want to hear, or, worse, masks everything they hear with what they expect the other person is really saying… Hi Honey…What your really saying is you don’t trust me
v) The selective listener is not really listening to understand the other person’s heart, but rather listening to each reason in order to discredit it, the selective listener is listening to argue and not to understand. Their goal is what I want, regardless of your need.
b) The righteous man listens to his wife and kids
i) Your wife wants to say something too. She is wanting an intelligent conversation when you walk in
ii) Whether she is talkative or you are talkative. Someone has got to be the one to listen and I saying sir that you should start. Don’t tune her out. Her complaints may be a cry for help. Her frustration may be a desire for encouragement.
iii) Many timres they don’t want you to be the problem solver, but just an ear.
c) The righteous man listens to God
i) If we want to have an intimate relationship with God, one in which He speaks to us and directs our steps, we should first listen to His requirements of us in His Word.
ii) Author Joy Dawson says: We can’t begin to hear from God if:
(1) We don’t really want to hear what God has to say. Should we even try to chart our own course in life without consulting God. "God looks down from heaven upon the children of men to see if there are any who understand, that seek after God" (Ps. 53:2) Jesus always listened to the Father… (Matt 11:25)
(2) We don’t believe that God even wants to speak to us personally. God can talk to us anywhere, anytime, and about anything. He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. He only tells us what is true and holy. "Yes, He loves the people, all His saints are in Your hand; they sit down at Your feet; everyone receives your words" (Dt. 33:3). I wish it were true.
(3) We don’t want to deal with our sin. Our evil actions and thoughts quench our dialogue with God. We have to repent in order to hear from God and to be heard by Him. The Bible says, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear" (Ps. 66:18). God will point to that thing which silences our conversations with Him, if we ask Him to.
(4) We won’t sell out to God’s will. We can choose our will or let His will be done. When we refuse to repent and follow the principles of His Word, we put ourselves on hold. God proclaims, "I lead in the way of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of judgment" (Prov. 8:20).
(5) We won’t wait for God’s timing. God wants our uninterrupted attention (Read: Ps. 81:11-13). If we need to grow in patience or obedience, so be it. "Therefore I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me" (Mic. 7:7).
(6) We have not trained our ears to His voice. We have to determine who’s talking: God, us, or the devil. God gives clear, unconfused conversation. We can’t rely on our own thoughts nor should we yield to the harassing voice of the enemy. We are hearing a lot of voices but not testing a lot of spirits. God is certainly able to speak to us but we must be prepared to hear and obey Him.
iii) We must be men that train ourselves to listen as we expect God to listen to us. Swift to hear and slow to speak…
2) The righteous man thinks before he speaks
a) The quick tongue can bring grief
i) We may have a harsh thing or two to say when we walk in the door our kids or our wives are the first we see so they are the first to get it. Harsh words
ii) Lying words and when I say lying I mean exaggerations, white lies, fabrication, fibs, misrepresentations, misstatements, tall-tales, falsehoods… lies
iii) A lie is a lie is a lie. We tell lies for all kinds of reasons:
(1) To impress… fish stories…
(2) To protect… your image… your marriage… not a good reason…
(3) To manipulate… evangelists are notorious…
b) The Slow tongue of warning can bring death
i) In his book was The Silence of Adam by Larry Crabb he starts off by asking where was Adam when Eve was talking to the serpent.
ii) Tradition has always taught that Eve was alone at that time, and that after she was deceived and ate the fruit, she went in search of Adam and gave him some to eat. But Crabb point out something different that
iii) Genesis 3:6 says, When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, (imah) and he ate.
iv) Adam was right there with Eve during the conversation with the serpent.
v) So where was Adam’s warning? Where was his protection over her? He stood there and let it happen. All this time men proudly state it was Eve who ate when all along it was Adam who let it happen and stood there watching like a dolt.
c) What Speaking is not…
i) You’ve figured out that being silent is not always good. We need to understand what speaking is not.
(1) Speaking is not just meaningless talking.
(a) You can talk a lot and never touch real issues.
(b) Maybe you talk about sports or about computers all the time and never have any meaningful conversations.
(c) When we do this, it is the same as being silent because we are still being silent about the important things, even though our mouths are wide open.
(d) Paul says in 1Co 13:1 that when we speak without love, then we are a noisy gong and a clanging cymbol.
(2) Speaking is not just talking.
(a) I say this, because speaking involves actions, too.
(b) It involves both words and deeds. If you just say you are going to do something and never do it, then that is worthless. We will touch on that in James 2.
(c) Speaking means getting involved and it means getting emotionally involved.
(3) Speaking is not domination
(a) Speaking is not controlling a situation through shouting the loudest or shaming the other person into submission or obedience. That just turns a person inward and away from God.
(b) You will only succeed in helping their rebellion. You can see this in your children. You are really just trying to take control (through your flesh) and force order on the situation and get others to back off so you don’t have to deal with the issue. You are hiding again as Adam did in the Garden.
ii) We should be slow to speak if we are not thinking and quick to speak if we are thinking
iii) And slow to wrath
3) The righteous man uses caution with anger (wife, kids)
a) The quick temper
i) I hate when I get angry!!
ii) You know what makes me angry? Indian givers...no, I take that back.
iii) What makes me angry…?
(1) A little girl who says “no” all the time, Temper tantrums in the middle of the mall…
(2) Allergies…
(3) Terrorists
(4) Indecision
iv) I am talking about more than anger I am talking about the tragic results from an angry person. A man whose temper is followed by his quick unthinking action.
v) The fact is if you make yourself and show yourself wrathful you are separating yourself from God and his plan for you (James 1:20) and this kind of action cannot produce the righteousness of God.
vi) Many times we react this way out vengeance…
vii) Rom 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.
viii) In attempting to explain and understand parent-child relationships, most child developmental studies focus on the mother-child association and pretty much ignore any of Dad’s influence. Researchers seem to consistently ignore large bodies of evidence showing that fathers do make a difference--for good or for bad. In fact, the absence of dads or the presence of violent, abusive dads is a major factor in the lives of 85-90% of all male and female adult prisoners.
b) The quick hand
i) Many of our sinful, angry outbursts result from pent-up anger. When something frustrating happens, we hold onto the emotions. Then, when those closest to us push the wrong button, we vent our feelings on them.
ii) Much of this could be remedied if we determined to "not let the sun go down while [we] are still angry" (Eph. 4:26)… we pray for an extra day of daylight
iii) We should be dealing with these thoughts and feelings. If there are things that you feel you cannot discuss within the marriage then find a MALE who you can be accountable with.
Conclusion
Challnege: Lucille Ball was right Papa is Gone. And I am commanding you to come home in the name of Jesus. Come Home Dad with the Spirit of Elijah! Come Home Dad and seek the righteousness of God! One of every four American children has no father in the home to welcome him or her at the time of birth. (Come Home Dad!) 41-60 percent of today’s children will grow up in a two-parent family. (Come Home Dad!) On average, American fathers give each of their children a mere three minutes of undivided attention each day. (Come Home Dad!)
