30, November 2003
Dakota Community Church
The Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Week Six: Community
Proverbs 9:1-6
Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out its seven pillars.
2 She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table.
3 She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point of the city.
4 "Let all who are simple come in here!" she says to those who lack judgment.
5 "Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed.
6 Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding.
- We are not told what the seven pillars are.
- I believe they are themes of truth that will lead to life.
The sixth “pillar” of wisdom is: Understanding the importance of community.
Proverbs 27: 5-6
5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 27: 9-10
9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.
10 Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you- better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.
Ever since creation, everything that lives exists in an elaborate network of relationships.
Plants for example:
- Rooted in the soil.
- Reach for the sunlight.
- Require insects for pollination.
- Spread seeds by means of the wind.
Torn from the soil or shielded from the sun they wither and die.
Shielded from the insects and the wind they cannot reproduce.
Survival and health require a connection to the created order.
Human beings must be connected through relationships as well.
- We cannot experience healthy growth in isolation.
- We cannot reproduce in isolation.
- We cannot bear fruit evangelistically in isolation.
- Even our salvation is about a relationship with God.
- 18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." – Genesis 2:18
That does not mean that everyone has to be married but it is the wisdom of God for everyone to be connected in relationships.
Illustration:
The movie castaway starring Tom Hanks is one I really enjoyed except for one thing. He chose to converse with “Wilson” but not with God. It seemed absurd to me not to talk to God in isolation on a deserted island.
Community Wisdom:
1. Your relationships need to be healthy ones.
Proverbs 6: 16-19
16 There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
Proverbs 18: 19
19 An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
Psalm 133: 1-3
1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! 2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down upon the collar of his robes. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
Seven ingredients of a healthy relationship:
1. Realism. – Reality based, not denying emotions, ignoring problems, or tiptoeing around “undiscussable” issues.
2. Honesty. – The more lies, denials, and secrets there are in a relationship, the more dysfunctional it is. Truth builds trust, trust creates relationships that endure and grow.
3. Friendship. – The basis of any healthy relationship should be friendship, without it they tend to be shallow and run the risk of becoming self serving or exploitive.
By friendship you mean the greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable. - Jeremy Taylor.
4. Forgiveness. – Forgiveness resolves the past and clears a path into a healthy future. Every relationship has painful problems, hurts, and disappointments. Through forgiveness we can survive these times and go on to flourish and grow stronger.
5. Security. – In a world full of turmoil and attack, a healthy relationship is one in which we do not feel threatened or at risk, rather safe and secure.
1John 4:18 - 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear
6. Vulnerability. – The freedom to be vulnerable requires trust and a sense of confidentiality. A healthy relationship is one in which we know we can expose our deepest self, our secret self, without fear of it going beyond the relationship.
7. Sacrifice. – Sacrifice means being willing to surrender some of our “rights” during times of conflict. It means being concerned with the other persons needs above our own. Nothing strengthens a relationship like a willing sacrifice.
2. You need mentoring relationships.
Proverbs 27: 17
17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 13: 20
20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
Qualities to look for in a mentor:
- Wisdom.
- Someone you respect.
- Someone who has won battles you are fighting.
- Merciful.
- Willing to share.
Quote:
It is better to train ten people than to do the work of ten people. But it is harder. - Moody.
Illustration:
Parishioners hard pressed for something to say to the clergy after the service have, according to one minister’s friend said to him, "You always manage to find something to fill up the time." "I don’t care what they say, I like your sermons." "If I’d known you were going to be good today I’d have brought a neighbor." "Did you know there are 243 panes of glass in the windows?" "We shouldn’t make you preach so often." - Arthur Myers in Berkshire Sampler.
3. You need ministering relationships.
Proverbs 11: 25
25 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
Proverbs 17: 9-10
9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
10 A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool.
Proverbs 24:11-12
11 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. 12 If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?
Life is a matter of building. Each of us has the opportunity to build something -- a secure family, a good reputation, a career, a relationship to God. But some of those things can disappear almost overnight due to financial losses, natural disasters and other unforeseen difficulties.
What are we to do? Daniel Webster offered excellent advice, saying, "If we work on marble it will perish. If we work on brass, time will efface it. If we rear temples, they will crumble to dust. But if we work on men’s immortal minds, if we imbue them with high principles, with just fear of God and love of their fellow men, we engrave on those tablets something, which time cannot efface, and which will brighten and brighten to all eternity. - Morning Glory, July 3, 1993.
1John 4: 7-12
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
4. You need a safe harbor.
Proverbs 5: 15-19
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
Proverbs 17: 1
1 Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.
Is your home a place you go when you are tired of being nice to other people?
Do you spend your whole day being kind and polite to clients and then come home and be rude to your wife?
A Doctor can spend the whole day treating patients with TLC and then come home exhausted and blow up at the kids.
Imagine you are on the front steps of your home about to go in, how do you feel about opening that door?
Proverbs 24: 3-4
3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Is your home being built and established through wisdom?
Have you created a sanctuary from the world where love, encouragement and support is given and received by all?
Challenge:
Make a family mission statement.
Once I told my old man, ’Nobody likes me.’ He said, ’Don’t say that--everybody hasn’t met you yet.’ - Rodney Daingerfield, I Don’t Get No Respect.
