Friend Day
1 Sam 18
Intro: This sign was seen at the front desk of a country inn, over in England:
“Please introduce yourself to your fellow guests
since we are one big, happy family.
The management is not responsible
for valuables left in your room!”
We live in a society today that is greatly isolationistic. We have lost our connection to one another. We drive to work alone in our car, work all day in our cubby, get cash at the ATM, get lunch at the drive through, and spend the night watching TV. No wonder so many feel alone. No wonder we don’t have a very high level of trust for one another. But it didn’t always use to be this way.
I grew up out in the country. Our neighbors across the street were the Kaytors. We were constant in each other’s houses. We worked together, played together, farmed together, ate together. We were very close friends. After years of separation when Steve, the father died, we received a call from the family and my brother had the funeral. Friendships build close bonds.
Who is your friend? Some of you are here today because of a friend who invited you. I hope that today you come away with a commitment to be a better friend. If there is one thing that most of us truly desire, it is to have a good, close friend. I would venture to say that most of us would give half of what we own to have a good, true, close friend. Some of us would give all that we have for a good, true friend.
We have been reading through the Bible together. This week we have been reading in 1 Samuel. Turn with me to 1 Samuel 18. Here we find the example of two true friends: David and Jonathan. Let’s learn from their example what friendship is all about. Compare yourself to Jonathan and David, and see what kind of friend you really are!
Our account immediately follows David killing the giant Goliath. The king sees him, and inquires about him. Read 17: 1-5 - Examples of True Friendship
*Friends are one in spirit -
--18:1 - Jonathan became one in spirit with David
-Don’t seek to make a friend who you don’t like
That may seem too simple; but some people think, I’ll find someone rich or famous and I’ll try to be their friend. God has made us all differently. We ought to all get along, but there are some people we would rather not get along with for very long! Choose your friends based on how you “connect.”
-don’t get me wrong - we should be friendly to all, but let God build the “connection” in our spirit. In seeking friendships, ask who are you drawn to as a person.
*Friends love one another as themselves
- 18:1 - and he loved him as himself.
-See how good a friend you are by what you think of your friend. If you are going out to eat with your friend, do you take them to a steakhouse of McDonalds? If you are buying some cologne for your friend, is it Liz Claiborne or Old Spice? Do you think of them above yourself?
*Friends spend time together
- 18:2 - From that day Saul kept David with him
-Jonathan spent much time with David. In coming chapters we see them meeting together, hunting together, and spending much time together. If you have a friend, you will want to spend time with them.
*Friends are committed to each other
- 18:3 - And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. -Friends will stick by you. They are there when the going gets tough. They are not “fair weather” friends. Some of you here can tell of friends who stood by you at difficult times in your life.
*Friends take steps to honor the friendship - 18:4
-What have you given to honor a friend? When we left Chambersburg to come here, we had a friend named Jeff over to the house. He had been a good friend, and I wanted to do something to honor his friendship. I knew he liked black onyx, so I gave him a gold ring with a black onyx stone that I wore. That same night he brought along a gift for me - a black watch that he had that he wanted me to have. I wear it each day and think of him.
*Friends look out for one another - 19:1-2
-How much do you look out for the interests of your friend? Do you care the problems they are facing? Are you willing to speak up when you see a problem?
Prov. 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
*Friends rejoice when their friends succeed - 19:4-5
-Jonathan wasn’t afraid to speak up for his friend. He rejoiced in the victory God had given David. Even though he knew David would one day be king, the role due Jonathan by birth, he befriended David.
-If your friend gets the promotion or new car, but you don’t, do you still rejoice?
*Friends help friends resolve their problems - 19:7 -Jonathan brought resolution to the conflict of his father and David.
*Friends encourage one another - 20:1-2 -
-If you are a good friend, you will seek to bring encouragement when your friends are down
*Friends are not afraid to express their friendship - 20:41 -We recently saw George England at Sam’s club. We talked for a few minutes and before we left, I gave George a hug. We live in a society where we are afraid to show friendship. The Christians were told to greet one another with a holy kiss.
*Friends encourage one another in the Lord
- 23:16 - And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him to find strength in God.
-The true test of a friend is how they affect your walk with Christ.
*Friends allow their friendship to flow out to others
-2 Sam. 9:1-7 -
If you will be a friend, others will reap the benefits. This morning ask who all has received a blessing because of the friendships you hold.
****Friendship is not about what you get - it’s about what you give. It’s not about someone loving you - it’s about commitment to others and those they love. It’s about extending your love beyond yourself.
II. How do you make friends?
1. Know what friendship is - We have talked a lot about friendship today. Really what it is, is love. Jesus didn’t say much about friendship, but he talked a lot about love. Jesus said, [Jn 13:35] - By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
- To really be a friend, to really love, you must know the one who is love, God.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no-one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
-God showed his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Most Americans know the story of Jesus - but many still have not made the choice to commit their life to him and accept him as Savior. Only by personally receiving Christ can anyone have his sins forgiven and be saved and really be a true friend to others.
2. Try to BE a friend - -Prov. 18:24 -
A man that has friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
-Far too many people are looking to have a friend than to be a friend.
-###Brother like that - illustration
