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Are our Kids Growing Up
2 FAST 2 FURIOUS ?
SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS—Part 3
(BLUE PRINT DENOTES 8:30 SERVICE ONLY)
Welcome to Bethany. We especially welcome our guests. Please everyone complete the attendance pad. Also take at look at the Ministry Opportunities in the Attendance binder. There may be a way for you to serve in ministry here at Bethany
I am doing part 3 of the Summer Blockbuster series. Taking themes from recent movies is what I have been doing and finding a parallel to a lesson from the Bible. I want to talk about are our children growing up 2 fast 2 furious. I think this is an especially appropriate topic as children have returned to school for another academic year.
Today’s movie is 2 Fast 2 Furious.
I thought I’d show you the video clip that gave a preview of the movie but then I thought No way Jose. Some of you might want to try this at home. Fast cars and drag racing and wild women. I don’t mean the young people here—I was afraid some of you older men in your mid-life crises might want to try this so I decided against showing anything from the movie.
Fast and Furious was the surprise blockbuster movie in 2001. Reviewers did not understand it and people in the industry were surprised. No one, it seems, saw it coming.
And now, 2 years later, here is the sequel—2 Fast 2 Furious.. Everyone excepted the this film to do well. In fact, it did over $50 million on the opening weekend.
One critic of the film (David Bruce of Hollywood Jesus.com) shares his experience:
“When I went to see this film, the house was filled with the twenty-something and the parking lot was filled with modified cars. There wasn’t anyone over the age of 40 to be found. There was delight in the audience during the showing. This film spoke their language. It connected.
The film is not a cinematic masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination -so in this regard, poor reviews are understandable. However, when a film connects so well with an aspect of the culture, one needs to look beyond a viewing room impression. The question needs to be: Why has this film series connected so well to the culture?
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This film is about empowerment, and the struggle to be heard. Here is a segment of the 20-something crowd that is alive and well seeking its own voice through extreme sports and social activity. And, is attempting to achieve lasting relationships in a unique and paradoxical manner: community through individual achievement. It is a quest for community in an age of brokenness.
The film regards the enemy of this form of community as greed -extreme selfishness as personified by the Carter Verone, an evil member of the drug cartel.
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His sins include:
—Placing money before friendship.
—"Owning" women as possessions.
—Using violence to limit the freedoms and rights of others.
—Intimidating those who get in the way of his selfish desires.
—Reducing life to mere materialism.
In its own way, the film advocates:
—Peace between humans.
—Relationships based on mutuality and respect.
—Harmony and understanding between different types of humans.
—The importance of community and group effort.
—The celebration of individuality, uniqueness, and personal achievement.
It’s weaknesses include:
—An uncertainty about the place of women.
—"Might is right" philosophy.
—Physical beauty and braun = importance, and worthwhile goals.
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Bottom line: For the discerning viewer this film offers a window of understanding into our time and current culture. I suggest that you watch the film and the audience, as a unified whole. Films like this can and should not be viewed in any other way. To miss the audience is to miss the film—so says this critic.”
If this movie is a reflection of our time and culture, especially of young adults and I would dare say of many teenagers, the question that I pose to you: are the children and young adults of our time living too fast and too furious?
If you’re not a parent or a young person today I hope there is something in this message that will help you learn and grow in your faith as you try to be a prodigal hugging Christian. Maybe it will help you to be a better grandparent or mentor to a child.
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In a recent survey of teenagers, they were asked “What is it that makes you mad or angry”
How would you young people who are here today answer that question? (PAUSE FOR ANSWERS)
Here are some answers from the survey:
Teachers
Parents’
Siblings
People don’t listen to you because you are young
People’s stereotyping me—thinking all teens are bad
The opposite sex
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Here’s another question asked of that teen group: What advice would you give your parents?
(PAUSE FOR ANSWERS)
To listen before you get angry with me about something
To have an open mind
Try to remember when you were my age
Give more freedom
Give more discipline (!)
Give more encouragement
Have more patience
Don’t live your dreams through me
Have realistic expectations of me
SO
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WHAT CONTRIBUTES TO CHILDREN AND YOUNG ADULTS GROWING UP 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS?
I observed this when my son was young and was in little league softball: many parents became angry at their children for not performing well. Some would go berserk—it’s like they were living vicariously through a child’s performance. What pressure!
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What happens when you begin to dream your dreams through your children? You know you think your child is going to be the next famous super sports star?
Have you seen the commercial on TV lately where this woman is with her son in Office Max and she has the visions of him being a rocket scientist as she picks up his school supplies. And what happens when he gets to school? He picks up the new ruler he and his mom bought and he uses it to hurl a spit ball at his teacher while her back is turned to the class. So you see your dreams for your kid may not always work out the way you anticipated.
So you put these unrealistic expectations on little George to be the next superstar. Or little Suzie is to be the next super model.
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So
1. Unrealistic expectations = little George = 2 fast. Or
Unrealistic expectations = little Suzie = 2 fast.
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That results in
· Too much pressure—not only from parents, but from teachers, some would say the SOL tests put too much pressure on kids, coaches may put too high expectations on students
Another way these unrealistic expectations work out with some parents is that they may give children
· Too much freedom—Children desire limit setting, placing of boundaries. Your child may not admit it but he or she really does want you to say NO to some things.
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Do children today have too much freedom? Or as this one mailer I received about conference puts it: “Too Much, too soon: over-indulged Children”. Too much freedom leads a 2 fast lifesyle.
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On the other hand there is
· Too much responsibility—go to the other extreme. Some kids have to go to school, they have to achieve good grades, they have to be involved in every extra curricular activity, they’ve got to be involved in church. A child may have 25 or 30 activities in a week to squeeze in to eating and sleeping. In this fast paced society there is a danger that children and teenagers are going too fast.
So here’s a word that is key to this time when things can became 2 fast and 2 furious:
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BALANCE. Write that down. BALANCE.
So how do you get that balance? You’ve got to take time. You take time to get to know your child, to be with your child or children. Slow down.
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2. Lack of love & acceptance = fear = 2 Furious
For many of our kids today there is an emptiness that is related to a lack of love and acceptance. They may perceive that there is no one to encourage them, no one who takes time to care for them.
Have you ever seen a child who just seems to have developed a lifestyle of bitterness and hurt and anger?
I want to share with you a passage from the Bible that tells about Jesus and how he experienced love and acceptance from his father. Maybe there’s something in this story for you and other children you may know.
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Matthew 3:13-17 (Msg)
Jesus then appeared, arriving at the Jordan River from Galilee. He wanted John to baptize him. John objected, "I’m the one who needs to be baptized, not you!" But Jesus insisted.
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"Do it. God’s work, putting things right all these centuries, is coming together right now in this baptism." So John did it.
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The moment Jesus came up out of the baptismal waters, the skies opened up and he saw God’s Spirit—
it looked like a dove—descending and landing on him.
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And along with the Spirit, a voice: "This is my Son, chosen and marked by my love, delight of my life."
Look at the last line of that reading. God, speaking to his Son—I love the way the Message translates this: "This is my Son, chosen and marked by my love, delight of my life." Here Jesus is at the beginning of his ministry and he receives that powerful affirmation from his father.
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This is more than God saying in his godly voice “I AM GOD. I’M GIVING YOU THE LAUNCH INTO YOUR MINISTRY.” No it’s more powerful than even that. This statement is not for all the bystanders to hear and go back and say, “this is the Messiah. Let’s follow him.” This message was for Jesus from a loving father who is saying, “You are my son. I love you. I’m pleased with you. You are my delight.”
And this is important to observe: this statement to Jesus from his father was before he had preached or taught anywhere, this was before he had performed any miracle or healed any sick person. This was before Jesus had resisted the temptations of the devil, before he had chosen his disciples. God says to him to affirm his love and acceptance even before Jesus does anything great, “My son, I am pleased with you. You are my delight. I love you.”
And that’s the same message this prodigal hugging God has for you today through his son Jesus. His Son came to bring you that same message. “I love you. You are my delight.”
But I broke the speed limit to get to church this morning. “but I love you,” God says.
But I haven’t done anything for you in ministry yet. “But I am pleased with you.”
But I haven’t been sharing my faith story with anybody. “I’m still pleased with you.”
But look at the terrible bad I have done. “I love you and delight in you.”
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· Even when you’re bad you can still come to the heavenly Father.
How does it usually work with you and me and our children? Say your young child comes to you and asks, “If I’m good can I go to Toys’RUs?” What do I say, “Well, if you’re good I’ll take you to Toys’RUs.” Would you ever dream of saying, “Even if you’re bad we can still go to Toys’RUs”?
With our heavenly father, it is so different because he loves you and me with a perfect love, not a conditional love like we tend to do with our children.
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· God’s grace says, “I love you and you are my delight.”
A little boy was in the store with his Dad. And he runs up to his Dad and says, “Daddy, daddy! I love you!.” His father gives the little boy a stern look and says to his son, “Don’t run in the store!” What a missed opportunity for the Dad just to pick up his son, and say “I love you son. I am so pleased that you wanted to run up to me.”
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What is your image of God, that if you run up to him and you tell him all the bad stuff you’ve done he is going to point at us and say, “Don’t run to me. You did this and you did that!!!”
But the Father doesn’t do that. He picks us up and holds us with his love. Let’s go. Let’s go do this together. I give you a second chance again. I’m the God of second chance over and over again. Let’s move forward again. Sure you have taken a couple of steps backward but let’s take 3 steps together now. That’s the God we follow, I believe.
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1 John 4:18 (NLT)
Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear.
If I were to ask you what do you want to be known for after you are gone from this world, what would you answer? What do you want to be known for as a parent, teacher, coach, grandparent, or whatever relationship you have with children and young adults?
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This is a great story that I read in Prevention magazine last month. It is written by Dr. Ned Hallowell, a child and adult psychiatrist.
“When I was in the first grade, I had trouble reading. Back then, if you had trouble reading, you could easily be dismissed as stupid, or you could be ridiculed or even punished.
But I was very lucky. I had an experienced teacher named Mrs. Eldredge who knew there was more to a first-grader’s reading problem than being stupid or lazy.
She knew that, sooner or later, I would start to read and that the most important thing to do for me in first grade was to make sure I didn’t become afraid of reading or start to believe that I was stupid.
So during reading period, this sweet old lady would sit down in one of those little chairs and put her arm around me. When it was my turn to read out loud, I could only stammer and stutter as I tried to make out the words. But none of the other kids laughed at me because I had the Mafia sitting next to me. Mrs. Eldredge’s arm saved me, and it has stayed around me ever since, preventing me from contracting what are the most disabling learning problems of all: fear and shame.”
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HOW DO I LIVE A LIFE THAT PUTS THE BRAKES ON LIVING 2FAST 2 FURIOUS?
May I make this suggestion? What if you and I
· Live a Life of Passion
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Passion 4 Christ ie trying to be like him in your behavior, thoughts and speech
Passion 4 People: family, family of God, prodigals trying to return home
Passion 4 Prayer ie seeking the direction of the holy Spirit in your life and relationships
Passion for Purity ie living a life where you do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the people you can
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3 PRACTICAL CHALLENGES:
· Have dinner with my kids
The Council of Economic Advisors did a study about parents and teens. The results of the study indicated that parents who share meals with their children had children who were 50% less likely to do drugs, to abuse alcohol and become sexually promiscuous. It ‘s a challenge I know. It was a challenge hen my son was home and I’m sure it’s even more challenging now. I challenge you to have dinner with your kids a minimum of 3 nights a week. If you can’t do that you are probably living 2 fast 2 furious.
· Make myself available to listen
Listen on your children’s terms. For some kids that may mean you don’t pounce on them as soon as they get in from school.. Some people are wired that they need some time to come down from the day’s activities. Or you may need to work on having individual time with each child. Perhaps 30minutes a day of special time with each child if you have more than one child. You need to become an astute observer of your children and know when to best approach tem and listen, how God has wired your child.
· Model a Christ-like lifestyle
Tell your child that you are crazy in love with them just like God is. The story of the prodigal son and the waiting father is the best example here. Go home and read it and study it this week.
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John 7:37-38 (NLT)
On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, "If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink! For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow out from within."
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Why are movies like 2 Fast 2 Furious so popular among the teens and twenty somethings? I believe it is because they are hungry for fulfillment in their lives. I believe in many churches we have failed as church leaders and parents to speak to them the love of God in the way we live and communicate with them.
I ask our youth to forgive me. In fact, I am concerned and I know some of you are that we are not reaching and connecting with the younger population as well as we could. In fact, some of us who lead in worship are taking off a Sunday to go to a church in Northern Virginia that has developed a worship service that is reaching the 2 Fast 2 Furious population. If you’re interested in going with us let us know.
But if you are here today regardless of your age I ask your forgiveness if I or anybody in the church has not reached out to you with God’s love. Don’t let that stand in the way. The heavenly father just wants to pick you and take you in his arms and say “I loved you with an everlasting love.” Jesus came to bring this message from the loving, heavenly father. "If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink! For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow out from within."
What if you could sit down and have an interview with your heavenly father today as he puts his arms of love and grace around you? I wonder what he might say to you? Would it go something like this?
SLIDES 30-51 (these slides advance automatically after clicking on Slide 30—to be accompanied by music and narration)
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PRAYER:
Father God you are awesome in this place. If someone here is waiting to come home to you today I pray that they might say:
“I’m coming home to you today. I want to put the brakes on the Fast and Furious life and have you come along side me and sit me on your lap. Come and make all things new in my life.”
I’d love to know if you’ve made a commitment today—complete response tab. Or if you will volunteer to work in our youth ministry here—or to invite one of our teens to dinner sometime or just become a prayer partner to specifically pray for our youth ministry—indicate that on the response tab in the bulletin. or make a note on the attendance pad ministry opportunities.
I’ll also be hanging around the lobby after the service.
As you leave today stop and give one of our children, teenagers, or young adults a handshake or pat on the back and say, “God is crazy in love with you.”
SLIDE 53
Here’s next week’s final Blockbuster theme.
HULK—How to Lose Your Temper for Good. How many of you would like to do that>
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One of our teens has a song she is going to sing today. Give your full attention to Deborah Marshall.
