THE END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS (GEN 27:1-46)
//The new science of siblings Time July 10, 2006
Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, “devised a study to test how widespread favoritism is. She assembled a group of 34 adolescent sibling pairs and their parents, visiting them three times over three years and questioning them all about their relationships, their sense of well-being and more. To see how they interacted as a group, she videotaped them as they worked through sample conflicts. Overall, she concluded that 6% of mother sand 70% of fathers exhibited a preference for one child – in most cases the older one. What’s more, the kids know what’s going on. (18% of people polled say their parents favored one child to another.)
When my wife applied for a teaching position at a university in Orange County, she made it the final round, only to lose the teaching position to a better-qualified candidate. The blow softened for her when the Lord led us to ministry in Riverside. She realized then that the cross-county travel would not make sense and that God knew what was best for both of us, instead of just her.
A year later, after she had obtained her professional license, another university rejected her, although this time she was more qualified than the selected candidate. She began to question: “Why has the Lord put the burden of teaching in me and not open the door? Is it because of my own desire to be successful? Am I really not as good as the other candidates?”
For a while she settled for a government-funded job that “paid the bills” but had little or no challenge or fulfillment. She vacillated between two extremes: often moaning, “I hate this job, I don’t want to go to work!” and occasionally, “I must serve God where He placed me with a good attitude.”
After a year of precious administrative experience, a better position opened up in still another university, and this time, she needed not apply. Both the college and graduate school courted her, and even though she initially interviewed for the college level, she ended up teaching at the graduate school! The position was an answer to a prayer that she made before we were married. She had asked me to drive her to the university one day, and while I was driving pass the school and oblivious to her words, she asked the Lord for a job there as a wedding gift, claiming: “This is my Promised Land.”
The path to God’s will is not one of subversion, but one of submission. Seeking God’s way, His timing and guidance, is a constant struggle and a lifetime lesson for a believer, but insubordination brings trouble into our lives, turmoil upon others, and reprove from God.
The co-dependent, high-octane and double-crossing relationship of the two brothers Jacob and Esau with their parents, as expected, was headed for an ugly confrontation, fall and ending. One of the twins would cry, one would flee, but both parents were heartbroken for individual reasons. Esau did not get better, Jacob got worse, and the family disintegrated into pieces.
What is God’s way for the family? Why is it better to follow God’s way than to follow our instincts or to follow bad advice? How can relationships be saved, sustained and strengthened?
TRUST IN THE FAMILY AND ITS WORTH
27:1When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. 2Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. 3Now then, get your weapons--your quiver and bow--and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. 4Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” 5Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. (Gen 27:1-5)
A mother crab was having a hard time teaching her young the right and dignified way to walk when they were scurrying at the beach one day. No matter how often and how hard she taught her son, he still did not get it right. In fact, he was way off mark and hopeless beyond correction. In desperation, the mother crab chastised him: “How many times do I have to tell you to walk straight! Stop walking sideways! It’s much more becoming to stroll forward than walk sideways.”
The equally frustrated young crab protested: “I will, Mother, just as soon as I see how. Show me how to walk, and I’ll walk like you.” (Adapted from William Bennett, The Moral Compass 522 NY:Simon & Schuster, 1995)
It’s been said, “The apples do not fall far from the tree.” The family is the crucible that shape a person’s personality, fortune and destiny. No doubt, the beliefs and behavior of parents are the most crucial factors in the development of a child’s future. Active, mature and godly parents are less likely to produce lazy, disruptive, or rebellious kids.
Allen Ross, who wrote the excellent book “Creation and Blessings,” noted that in the six scenes through the three chapters of Genesis 25-27 the family was never in the same setting together at one time. They did not share a decent meal, a single moment or a positive experience together. In Genesis 27, the family members were always peeking through the door, plotting the next step, speaking in hush tones, and undermining one another’s authority or actions.
The parents never checked with each other, talked about an issue together, or solved a problem together. The mother “overheard” the father, the father decided without consultation, and the parents only spoke to their favorite child. Rebekah, the mother, had an unmistakable part in the plot: she was the coach (v 9), the chef (v 9), and the costume designer (v 15).
The twins didn’t do any better. They were seconds apart in birth but miles apart in attitude, appearance and activity. They also did not speak to each other in chapter 27. The older stole his father’s heart but the younger stole his brother’s blessing.
Sadly, the family unit was on the verge of collapse because the family members did not value, build, uphold or impart the greatest virtue in the family: trust. Without trust, any action or advice is worthless, and the chances of improving one another’s lives are slim and hopeless. With trust, there is honesty, stability, and respect in the family, and people are more willing and likely to listen to, lean on, and look after one another.
TURN TO GOD AND HIS WORD
18He went to his father and said, “My father.” “Yes, my son,” he answered. “Who is it?” 19Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me. Please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing.” 20Isaac asked his son, “How did you find it so quickly, my son?” “The LORD your God gave me success,” he replied. 21Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.” 22Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” 23He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he blessed him. 24”Are you really my son Esau?” he asked. “I am,” he replied. (Gen 27:18-24)
When we decided to sell our house by ourselves instead of using an agent, our first offer came from a public school teacher who had a broker’s license. He came the first day of the open house, laid a compass in the living room and turned it around a few times until he was satisfied. I asked a silly question: “What direction is my master bedroom facing?” After he was gone, my wife said, “That’s no ordinary compass, it’s a feng shui (geomancy) compass.”
The next day, they were back to check the electrical fuses, later asked for my fax number and faxed us an offer a few hours later. We were ecstatic with the offer. Though it did not meet our advertised price, the offer was still $18,000 more than our lowest parting price and $8,000 more than the maximum we thought we could get! Then it occurred to us that his offer ended with the number 8 (the Chinese letter 8 rhymes with prosperity), the date for closing escrow was 8/8, his house address on the fax was 808, and his phone number had four 8’s!
After we opened escrow, he ordered a house inspection, and returned to convince us to fix 86 things – major and minor - on our 1951 house even though only ten were mandatory for closing. While we were anxious for our house to sell, a friend, who is a real estate agent, told us not to bother: “I have dealt with many superstitious clients. Don’t worry, they will close escrow.” She was right - they did.
Turning to God on decision-making was never a strong suit in Isaac’s family. Chapter 27 exposes the exaggerations, the embellishments, and the excesses, again, in the family. Isaac’s Achilles’ heel was recorded for readers to see. Isaac’s love (vv 4, 9, 14) for tasty food was repeated three times, and the word tasty food, or “delicacy” in Hebrew, was repeated an unsavory six times (vv 4, 7, 9, 14, 17, 31). Later, Solomon would warn against the fondness for tasty food (Prov 23:3, 23:6) in the only other two Hebrew verses in the Bible outside this chapter. Isaac exaggerated his closeness to death (vv 2, 4, 7) - he would not die for at least another two decades (Gen 31:41) and he lived to be a grandfather many times over to Jacob’s many kids (Gen 35:27).
Isaac’s weakness set the stage for his downfall. He was deceived by the words out of his mouth and his five senses failed him: the sense of touch (v 21 “Come near so I can touch you, my son”), sound (v 22 “The voice is the voice of Jacob”), sight (v 23 “but the hands are the hands of Esau”), taste (v 25 “My son, bring me some of your game to eat”), and smell (v 27 “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed”). Curiously, Isaac defiantly chose Esau over Jacob even though the former had married outside the faith (26:34-35).
The mother, Rebekah, used the strictest term on Jacob to convince him to follow her orders. The English word “tell” (v 8) is the Hebrew word for “command” (v 8). The text noted her instigation (v 6, “Rebekah said to her son Jacob, ‘Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau’”), her idea (v 8, “Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you”), and her inventiveness (vv 14-17) from the start: “Then Rebekah took the best clothes of Esau her older son, which she had in the house, and put them on her younger son Jacob. She also covered his hands and the smooth part of his neck with the goatskins. Then she handed to her son Jacob the tasty food and the bread she had made.”
The younger son, Jacob, was a big liar, a good actor, but a joyless winner. Mark Twain said famously, “One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives” (Quotable Quotations 214). Lies have many faces, countless lives, and lame cover-ups. Martin Scorcese, the famous Hollywood director once said, “You can tell a great lie, if 80% is the truth.”
Worse, Jacob knew he was an accomplice from the start (v 12 “What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him”). He lied to his father as often as he was asked (vv 19, 20, 24), each time his lie got bolder (v 20, “The LORD your God gave me success”), answering less with each question and sounding more convincing. Jacob curried his mother’s favor, invoked God’s name, and assumed his brother’s name, identity, appearance, habits, and therefore, the blessing.
Jacob fooled his brother previously, his father next, but ultimately fooled himself, thinking he could get away. William Blake said, “A truth told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.” (Quotable Quotations 408)
THINK OF OTHERS AND THEIR WELFARE
41Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” 42When Rebekah was told what her older son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, “Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing you. 43Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban in Haran. 44Stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides. 45When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I’ll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?” (Gen 27:41-45)
On my only visit to the Getty Center in Los Angeles shortly after the museum opened, I was most impressed by a painting titled “An Allegory of Fortune,” painted by Dosso Dossi, an obscure 16th century Italian painter. The seven-foot painting was first discovered at a flea market and purchased for a modest sum. Later, the tycoon Getty paid $4 million for it in 1989.
The allegorical painting aptly describes how fleeting fortune is and how tenuous her wealth is. Dossi painted the goddess Fortune as a seductress with her hands full of worldly goods, but with all her riches, she was sitting on a big soap bubble, wearing just a single shoe, with fierce wind blowing the drapery in the background.
Fortune, for all its possessions, pull and promise, is like a bubble that is about to pop anytime. By definition, fortune come and goes, enters and exits, beckons and passes. She is sitting pretty and biding her time, but waiting for the last shoe to drop.
A Swedish proverb wisely reveals the way to the good life, which has little to do with riches: “Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”
The real losers in the family conflict were not Isaac and Esau, but Rebekah and Jacob. Later, Rebekah admitted she had lost the affection, goodwill, and respect of her older son, Esau (Gen 47:45).
Jacob was also the loser because of his hollow victory over an older but weakened brother. Esau’s life went downhill from day one. He had already lost his birthright and leadership role in the family two chapters ago (Gen 25), and had lost his father’s favor and his family’s spiritual heritage in the previous chapter because of his polygamous marriage and pagan practices (Gen 26:34). The family inheritance was Esau’s to lose and Jacob’s to inherit. Jacob, who did not have the patience to wait on God, will have decades to sober up and think about his deeds.
Jacob paid a heavy price for supremacy, prosperity (27:28) and domination over nations, brother (27:37), and others (27:29). Esau more than bore a grudge against Jacob; he hated his brother who deceived him. The Hebrew word in verse 41 is “hate,” not begrudge; it appears for the first time in the Bible and is the same feeling that Joseph’s brothers feared to be in Joseph after the death of their father (Gen 50:15).
Jacob lost the trust of his father (27:35), the goodwill of his brother (27:41), and the presence and affections of his mother. Rebekah sent her precious son away on the pretense of getting him a wife (27:46) to save his neck, and Jacob will wander from home for the next twenty years (31:41). He will not see his beloved mother again, know of her death or attend her funeral. Jacob left empty-handed and filled with fright. He left poorer, lonelier, and sadder than before. George Bernard Shaw said, “There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.” (Minister’s Manual 11)
Allen Ross noted that Rebekah and Jacob gained “nothing that God would not have given them anyway; and they lost much (73).” Benjamin Franklin once said, “Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is hurtful.”
Conclusion: God’s way is the best way. The way to trust God is submission to Him, giving Him all your fears and hopes; and the consequence of distrust is suspicion, subversion, and spite. Parents, raise your children in godly instruction and with biblical values. Teach them to value brotherly love, neighborly love, and God’s love. Do not discourage or exasperate them, dismiss or fear your responsibility, or dishonor and misrepresent God yourself.
Victor Yap
http://epreaching.blogspot.com/
www.riversidecma.org
www.preachchrist.com (Chinese sermons only)
