There come those times in life when we do not trust what we have heard. Something is said, our ears pick it up, but we don’t quite trust it. We don’t know whether we really heard what we thought we heard. Or we don’t know whether to believe what we heard. Or maybe we don’t trust the speaker. Or, deeper yet, we don’t know how to interpret what we heard. There are those times in life when we do not trust what we hear.
Imagine, for a moment, that you are in a new car salesroom. You’ve reluctantly concluded that your twenty-year-old clunker is not going to make it through the winter, and so you’ve gone shopping for a new set of wheels. As you stand in front of the 1994 Belchfire 290ZXQ, the salesman is extolling its virtues. He says, "Why, this car will out perform absolutely anything on the road. This car, you see, is equipped with an electronically sanitized, inverse mounted, differentially adjusted, automatically supported gear ratio controller. And, in addition to that, you can get it with the structurally focused, indigenously distributed, ergonomically corrected armature. Now can I sign you up?”
What did you just hear? What did you just hear? Words: but the gobbledygook makes us wonder if we can trust what we hear. Something fairly simple became very complicated: something straightforward and everyday was made distant and remote. Because it was papered over with technical language; because some smart salesman decided to overwhelm us, suddenly it became a big deal, a complex thing, to decide what kind of gearshift lever to buy! We stop trusting what we hear because we live in a complex world. We no longer trust what we hear. We no longer trust what we feel. We no longer trust ourselves.
Now, a step further. If I were to ask you whether you trust what you hear from God, what would you say? Some of you would focus on the Bible, and you would say that, yes, you do trust the Bible, you can hear the Bible. But then you would admit that Bible scholars talk about hermeneutical principles and redaction criticism, post-exilic prophets and paradigm shifts. Before long before you are not sure you can trust what you are hearing in the Bible.
Again, if I were to ask you whether you trust what you hear from God, what else would you say? Some of you might focus on preaching, although someone who has been visiting various churches told me this week that there is an awesome amount of noisy nonsense being pushed from the pulpits these days.
Still others might focus on prayer. Prayer is a way to hear the voice of God. But here again n, we can and do deceive ourselves. Prayer may not always get you a trustworthy answer. You know, don’t you, the old story of the pastor who got a call to a church that paid double his present salary? The pastor told the pulpit committee, as he was expected to do, "I need to go into my study and pray about this." But his wife said, “While you’re downstairs praying, I’ll be upstairs packing." Even in prayer, our selfishness makes it difficult for us to trust what we hear.
So, again, I ask you one more time: can you just trust that you are hearing the voice of God? What can you trust as God’s authentic voice?
I have a strange answer. My answer is: listen to your own hearts. Listen to yourself. There is a way of listening to ourselves that is also listening to the voice of God. There is a way to hear our hearts that is trustworthy. It is a way of listening to God. It is possible so to develop the habits of the heart that we are able, in listening to ourselves, to listen also to our God.
One fateful afternoon the young man Moses found himself listening to his own heart, and hearing within himself the voice of God. Moses was tending sheep out in the barren wilderness of Horeb. There Moses had an experience of the living God. After this experience Moses was able to live life with confidence, he was clear about who he was, clear about what he was to do with his life. He heard and trusted the voice of God. How did that happen?
It happened because Moses had a habit of the heart that permitted him to listen to himself. He had a habit of the heart so to listen to himself and thus hear God. How did he do that?
I want to point you this morning to the little phrase, “I am." I am. Very clear, very simple, very pointed. Four times in this Scripture you will hear the phrase “I am." Two times Moses speaks it. Two times God speaks it. Listen to the “I am” phrase and discover how as we listen to our own hearts, we gain certainty about the voice of God.
I
The young man Moses had settled down, after a rough beginning. Having grown up in Pharaoh’s privileged palace, Moses had taken rash action and had put himself in jeopardy. He had spilled Egyptian blood on the desert sand, in defense of one of his Hebrew brothers. He had had to go on the run.
But now Moses had settled down. In the land of Midian he had found a wife, he had started a family, and he had taken a job tending his father-in-law’s flocks. Moses was set for life, if he wanted it to be that way. Nice, comfortable, middle-class existence, settled.
But then that fateful afternoon. An extraordinary experience, out in the desert, alone beneath the burning sun, with only his sheep and the memories of his past to keep him company .. Moses saw a bush burning in flames, but not burned up. Moses saw and heard in that bush the signature of almighty God.
The language is instructive. It says that Moses, listening to his own heart, said, “I must turn aside and look at this great sight ...” And then Moses said to his God, “Here I am” "Here I am."
Here I am, Lord, I’m available. Here I am, open- minded. Here I am, vulnerable. Here I am, ready to see whatever there is to see, ready to feel whatever there is to feel, ready to be whatever you want me to be. The first great “1 am" is simply availability. "Here I am."
The trouble with us as modern middle-class Americans is that we have limited our availability to God. We hedge on this thing of God’s call, and we say, "Now Lord, you do recognize that I have certain responsibilities. I have a mortgage, I have a professional standing to keep up, I have a reputation in this community, I have, I have, I have.” We do not hear the call of God because we do not listen to our own hearts; and we do not listen to our own hearts because we do listen to the computers in our heads and to the buzz out there in the world. We’ve built up a long list of expectations. . .what we want to have before we will hear God’s summons. We’ve got to have every question answered, every “i” dotted and every “t” crossed. We don’t hear God, I am saying, because we have closed down our availability to God. We are not prepared to stand and say with Moses, "I must turn aside ..Here I am."
The first requirement if you will hear God’s voice and hear it as authentic is simply to be available. To be open. To be ready for whatever God might share, wherever God might lead. The saddest folks I know are the ones who never even entertain the thought of changing. And the happiest people I know are the ones who are willing to listen to something new. "I must turn aside ...Here I am." “Here I am.”
II
Now watch how God responds to Moses with His own "I am." Once Moses has declared his own availability, his own willingness to hear God’s call, then God speaks to Moses His own “I am":
"I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." I am. Moses, I am not just a figment of your imagination, I am not just a fly-by-night feeling. Moses, I am a planner. I have a grand plan. And you have a place in it. I have a plan for creating a people for myself; that plan I worked out in Abraham, in Isaac, in Jacob, in all the fathers and mothers of Israel. I’ve been at this thing for a while, Moses, and I do know what I am doing. Moses, I am. I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. I am rooted in eternity and revealed in history. I am the God of your fathers. And I have brought you to this time and place.
Part of our problem in listening to ourselves is that we get the idea that nobody else has ever before felt what we’ve felt. Oh, nobody understands me because nobody else has ever felt what I feel, no one else has even seen what I see, I’m different. Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. And so we don’t trust what we hear in our hearts because we just think that we’re different, we’re unusual. We act as though we were just specks of dust, blown here and there, meaning nothing.
But God says to Moses, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob ..." “Moses, I’ve been down this road before. I know what you are like. I know what you are facing. But if you will listen to history, if you will hear your people’s story, you will also be listening to yourself. If you will see what I have done with others who have gone before you, you will be able to see what I can do for you. I am the God of your fathers.”
I notice when I am preaching that one of the ways I can get you to listen is to tell stories about people. All I have to do is reach in to my memory banks and tell you about somebody I knew back where and when. Stories. My, my, if I ever move to another church, what a lot of stories I can take away from here! Great material!
Or if I preach out of the life of some character in the Bible, as I’m doing today, you sit up and take notice. If I come out here and do a dramatic monologue, as if I were one of the Biblical characters, you really listen. Why? I think it is because deep down we do know that God has acted in the lives of others, God has filtered his truth through personalities .. and so if we listen to their stories, that’s really the same thing as listening to ourselves, and that in turn is the same thing as listening to the voice of God.
God is the great “I am” who is at work to teach us through the lives and experiences of others. “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob." Listen to their stories; listen to yourself. I am.
III
Now we are ready for the third "I am". We are ready for Moses to hear, really hear, his own heart; we are about to encounter Moses truly listening to the call of God in his own heart.
It’s not exactly an "I am" that Moses speaks. Instead it’s "Who am I?" Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" "Who am I?"
Real listening . . authentic listening . . always involves responsibility. At some point in the business of listening to ourselves and exploring who we are, we have to ask, "Who am I and what shall I do’?" Responsibility.
I am saying this because there is an awesome amount of navel-gazing going on. We spend a lot of time looking at ourselves and talking our psyches apart . We’re so busy playing "poor me" that we hear nothing else. If you’re in counseling or in therapy, I’m certainly not putting that down. But at some point each of us needs to put aside all the negatives and listen to the heart tell us what we can do. We sometimes wallow in our woundedness; but God will call us to rise above all that and be responsible.
When we truly listen to our own hearts and hear the voice of God within us, we are going to hear something about responsibility. We are going to hear some kind of call to make a difference.
Moses heard God’s call to go down to Egypt and bring out the people. Of course he wondered if he was equal to the task; of course he was uncertain: "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Of course he wondered. How did I get to be chief cook and bottle-washer? But the main thing is that he did ask about responsibility. He did hear God’s summons to responsible living.
I had a very interesting conversation this week with one of you. One of you said to me that after your baby was born you realized that you no longer wanted to do just whatever you felt like doing at the moment. You said that you had learned that being an adult meant that you looked over your shoulder, you saw another generation coming, and you needed to provide for them. That’s right. That’s it. The most important "I am" statement is the question, "Who am I?" Who am I now and what is my responsibility’? Who have I become, how can I use my life for someone else? Who am I becoming and how will I sharpen my skills so that I can meet the challenge that God is placing on my heart? Who am I?
Our God is speaking to some of you to challenge you to a new place of work. Several are without work at this time, and that hurts. But that’s a time to ask the "Who am I" question. Who am I at this stage in my life, and what does God want me to do, how will I equip myself to do it?
Others of you are making other kinds of choices. You are thinking about further education. You are planning for retirement. You are discovering that you have time on your hands. You also are at a juncture when the "Who am I?” question needs to be asked. No one can just give you that answer. The Lord will not likely write it on the wall or in the sky. But if you ask the “Who am I” question deeply enough, seriously enough, you will hear God’s call to some place of responsibility and service. You will hear God’s call to make a difference.
Who am I? "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Listen to your heart; and in so listening listen for God, who will give you something responsible to do.
IV
And when all is said and done, and your friends ask you where all this confidence came from ...when your neighbors wonder how you got to be so sure and your family wonders why you are so certain you are doing the right thing .. then will come the fourth and last “I am”. .Then will be the “I am” of tremendous, powerful affirmation. It will be the “I am” of the God whose presence you will feel every step of the way.
For Moses said, “If I come to the Israelites . . . and they ask me, ’What is his name [who sent me?]’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses; “I will be with you. I am who I am.” Tell them “I am has sent you”.
I submit to you that nothing is empowering as living conscious of the presence of God. Nothing is as bold and vibrant as feeling deep down in your soul His living presence. "Tell them ‘I am’ has sent you.”
I am who I am. I am He who causes to be, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the ending. I am sovereign God. And when I send you, Moses, I will be with you and I will act in you, I will act through you.
And when I send you, Christian, I am who I am. I am the way, the truth, and the life. I am the word made flesh, dwelling among you full of grace and truth. I am the light of the world. I am the living water which if anyone drinks he will never thirst again. I am the living bread come down from heaven. I am. I am. I am your God and I will be with you unto the ends of the earth.
Listen to your heart. Listen to the Lord your God. And be confident.
Listening ... listening. ..I must turn aside. Here I am. Available. Open. Expecting.
Listen ...oh listen. ..I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I speak through the lives of others.
Listening. ..listening ...to the heartbeat of the world. To the needs all around me. Who am I? Who am I that I should go and make a difference?
Listen. ..oh listen. ..I am who I am. I am with you. Be confident. Be bold. Be sure, very sure, that as you listen to your authentic self you are listening to God and to His truth.
