A Lifelong Strategy Against Frustration
(Ecclesiastes 3:17-4:16)
Intro
1. There are many frustrations in life, some of them are very serious:
Mixed with bitter sorrow and emptiness is often the feeling of frustration. My Moody buddy John Smith ministers in Mexico.
When he lived in the U.S., no one would believe that his real name was John Smith. He had to carry all sorts of identification with him.
John has requested prayer for:
-a native American (Indian) pastor in a tribal area of Mexico with six children just lost his wife as a martyr, as the tribe has been threatening them for a long time to stop the evangelism efforts.
People like this are the REAL heroes in my book. The world praises humanitarians (like Mother Theresa), but Bible-oriented Christians should use people who lay down their lives not just for humanitarian causes (important as they are), but for the faith of the Gospel and trying to win others to Jesus.
But think of what those kids and that husband feels.
2. Many of us find it a challenge even to deal with minor frustrations:
a. You call to straighten out a bill, and are put on hold for half an hour.
b. You make a mad dash to the phone to be greeted by a sales person.
c. You run to the store to buy an item you desperately need to find out that they are out of stock or don’t have the right size.
d. You are in the left lane, but the driver ahead of you doesn’t put his turn signal on until it is too late to return to the right lane.
e. My brother-in-law once had the most frustrating dream: had put in a full day at work, ready to leave for home….and the alarm went off…time to get dressed and go to work!
4. Deep frustrations have literally driven people to murder, suicide, insanity, or deep, deep depression.
5. Frustrating marriages, children, jobs, parents, neighbors, and even entire societies bring big time misery to millions every day. Think of how frustrated some of the folks are in California who have lost their lives to fire!
9. So how do we make the best of frustration? Sometimes, our best efforts do little.
Proposition: There is no way to eliminate the frustrations of life. But we can embrace a strategy to help us to handle those frustrations in the best way. Of course that starts with a personal relationship to God, and Solomon will get to that later in Ecclesiastes. But, assuming you are living for the Lord, what else can you do?
TS------ We can repeatedly make four choices that help us handle frustration in the best possible way.
I. Choose Reality: Expect Frustration (3:16-4:1-3)
1. Injustice abounds even where it should be defended, but God will even the score (16-17)
(1) corrupt courts
(2) the American system is corrupt, but probably the least corrupt of any leading world power in all of history
(3) In Ecclesiastes 5:8, Solomon warns us, “ If you see the poor oppressed in a district, and justice and rights denied, do not be surprised at such things; for one official is eyed by a higher one, and over them both are others higher still.”
(4) Right now, we are seeing the homosexual community invade the realm of the family with adoption rights and marital benefits; it will get worse. Expect it. We Christians will continue to be labeled as extreme and narrow: it will get worse, expect it. Be angry, but don’t be surprised! Get your head out of the sand! Stop living in the past.
2. People are as vulnerable to death as are mere animals (3:18-22)
(1) Verse 18 is fascinating. God tries to get us to see something about ourselves that we would rather not see: that despite our sophistication, we all die like dogs!
(2) Death itself does not set apart the dignity of mankind. The nature of death itself does not indicate that the life of animals is dissipated while the human spirit returns to its Maker.
(3) We understand the difference by God’s revelation, not human reason: Ecclesiastes 12:6-7 reads,
“Remember him--before the silver cord is severed, or the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, or the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.”
(4) what about animals/pets?
3. People Are Oppressed (4:1-3)
(1) certain segments of society are taken advantage of …
(2) Marxists thought this unfair, so they created societies where EVERYONE was taken advantage of…
(3) It can get to the point where life seems a burden, and death better than misery…
4. Sometimes we contribute toward advancing justice or helping the oppressed; we can reduce the problem for a time,, but we will never eliminate it; nor will solutions last forever…but we should not deny reality! This is life for millions of people!
5. These injustices are nothing new; they are merely an indictment of human nature. Man is not a mess just because of his environment; man’s environment is a mess because of man!
6. Times of frustration overtake us all: the best we can hope for is lengthy periods of only moderate frustration.
GET REAL.
There is no way to eliminate the frustrations of life. But we can embrace a strategy to help us to handle those frustrations in the best way. Redefining reality does not change it; our faith is intended for the real world.
II. Choose Balance Over Extremism (4:4-8)
A. The rat race is based upon competition: how do you beat the system? (4)
(1) Kids have to have the right brand of shoes. Why?
(2) Adults must keep up with Joneses and wear the best. Why?
(3) The lust for status drives Americans into bankruptcy, destroys marriages, and robs children of both quality and quantity time!
B. Three basic strategies commonly used to cope with the rat race:
We have three choices.
1. Cower in a corner defeated and lazy (5)---Bad Choice
(1) mooching off of others, the laziness cycle…
(2) my Uncle Emil: the fear of work cycle…
(3) a lot of people looking for handouts…
(4) NT: If a man will not work, neither let him eat..
2. Live a balanced life of moderation between work and rest (6) RIGHT
(1) bingo! You guessed right
(2) Question: Do people become relationally balanced and enjoy life because they choose to be balanced, or do sane and wise people choose balance because they are sane and wise? Hard to say…but a vicious circle has to be broken somewhere…
3. Working like crazy, always doing something productive (4:7-8)—WRONG
(1) people often become work addicts because they are materialistic and
competing with the Joneses:
According to John de Graaf in his book, "Affluenza: The All-Consuming Epidemic," the average American household carried a credit-card debt of $7,654 in the year 2000. Our supermarkets provide us an average choice of 30,000 items, about two and a half times the number of choices available in 1980. We now boast four times as many self-storage units as we stuffed in the 1960’s. De Graf claims America’s 102 million households are bursting with more material goods "…than all the households put together from all history." If we ate as we bought, our stomachs would have ruptured decades ago.
(2) For others, work becomes and escape, the way to avoid addressing life; a man comes home to a discontent wife and children who are pulling on him, so he works and works, because at work he is respected and feels like somebody.
There is no way to eliminate the frustrations of life. But we can embrace a strategy to help us to handle those frustrations in the best way. Life is tough, but balance helps keep us nearer to where God wants us to be.
III. Choose To Build Relationships (4:9-12)
1. A noted Kokomo Tribune columnist who shall remain nameless once wrote,
“Ravenous spenders often work long hours (or take a second job) to support their addiction. Notice that they are NOT willing to give up their purchase binges, but they ARE willing to give up their time and energy. Some of that time and energy COULD have been directed toward developing a meaningful marriage, interaction with the children, cultural development, spiritual growth, or community and club involvement. But what is the focus of ravenous spenders? Buying, working, charging, and making payments. Please understand this: the problem is not so much that ravenous spenders enjoy material things too much. It is that they enjoy the rest of their lives—including other people—too little.”
2. This is talking about building not only working relationships, but friendship in general; being there for others who are there for you…
3. In American families, time for household conversations has decreased by 100%, despite other studies showing that such conversations are the number one preventative of "at risk adolescent" behavior.
Could this be true? In a national pole conducted in 2000, educational issues tied with "not having enough time together with parents" as the chief concerns among teen-agers.
According to a 1997 study by the International Labor Organization, Americans work more hours than anyone else, even the Japanese!
SOURCE: SermonCentral Staff. Citation: www.familylife1st.org. Newsweek Jan. 29, 2001 p. 51.
There is no way to eliminate the frustrations of life. But we can embrace a strategy to help us to handle those frustrations in the best way, and developing RELATIONSHIPS are essential.
IV. Choose Growth Rather than Putrification (4:13-16)
1. When something stops growing it starts dying and then rots and then stinks…
(1) sometimes that is good (sauerkraut)
(2) most often, this is an undesirable event…
2. People are the same way
(1) people who think they know it all and no longer make the effort to grow become stubborn instead of growing in wisdom
(2) As we age, we make choices: we can either mature even more and become wiser, pursuing new avenues of growth, or we can become stubborn, set in our ways, and an old grouch.
(3) The example begins with a king who is old but foolish (13); he arrogantly feels secure in his position…he thinks that everyone will follow him out of loyalty, tradition, or an attitude of submission to authority…does not pay attention to the needs of the people or changing times….Solomon knew the politics of the nations around him very well…
(4) I know some pastor, elders, or other leaders who are like that old king, and one of my goals in life is not be among them…I want to be aware of times and needs of our day and age…and I do work hard at staying current…I fear this.
(5) A new guy comes along out of nowhere; he then becomes king, but the same thing happens to him as the next generation arises….He doesn’t understand that you can’t lead people if the people are not willing to follow….and he is dethroned…
3. Marylu read a book titled something like, “How to Be A Sweet Little Old Lady Instead of An Old Grouch.” As we age, we will either become sweeter and keep learning, serving, and growing, or we will become more sour and critical.
4. What is true in the spiritual world is true in the social world: Growth is like an airplane, when you stop, you drop!
(1) How are you doing in your walk with the Lord?
(2) One man told me, years ago, “Ed, there is nothing more for me to learn from sermons and Sunday School lessons. I already have all that stuff down.” Really?
(3) What steps are you taking to assure you keep growing?
---I am not the same man I was 20 years ago when I came to HPC, for better or worse, probably some of both, hopefully more better
---Marylu is not the same woman…
---In 20 years, if you’re still here, you won’t be the same person…but will you be a deeper Chrsitian and a wiser person, or will you harden and sour and stagnate?
There is no way to eliminate the frustrations of life. But we can embrace a strategy to help us to handle those frustrations in the best way. And continuing to grow, bringing in a constant flow of fresh water into the water tank is CRUCIAL
CONCLUSION
1. Life has had and will continue to have its frustrations.
2. We cannot eliminate them, though we can sometimes reduce them.
3. But we have to learn to cope with them. Solomon’s advice is as sound now as it was 3,000 years ago.
4. It is our choice!
