Take a moment and poke yourself in the bellybutton (I’d tell you to poke your neighbor, but that might get us into trouble!) Our navel is a constant reminder that we all started life connected to another human being (Dr. Richard Dobbins, founder Emerge Ministries). We spend all of our lives trying to get reconnected to someone. God created us as relational people.
✎ Of all our five children, Mikey has worked the hardest to get reattached to his mother. As soon as he was able to reach Susie’s hair as an infant, he started grabbing hold of it. Mikey developed an art of playing with a curl of Susie’s hair held in his hand and pushed on with his thumb. Seven years later Mikey will still get into bed to cuddle or sit in Mommy’s lap and grab a fist full of hair. Mikey doesn’t want to go through life alone. When he’s not holding onto Mom, he sitting on Dad’s shoulders, wrestling with his brother or holding a boy-friend’s hand as they walk and play (I’m sure that all too soon he will graduate to wanting to hold a girl’s hand).
This morning we begin a new series of messages which I’m calling “ME OR WE?” Although we have a need for interdependence many of us often seek “ME-dependence” (that is, Independence with a capital “I”).
You can summarize this entire series of messages in one sentence: THE CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE SHOULD BE “WE” NOT “ME”.
This theme runs through out the Bible, but I’ve picked one verse as the foundation for this entire series; I hope we all memorize it, but more importantly I pray we all live it!
+ Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. (NIV) – Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. (MsgB)
1. THIS IS NOT A SUGGESTION! God does not tell us to try or to do our best. This is a command; put simply God is telling us, “LIVE LIKE THIS.”
A. God’s plan for interdependence began with Adam and Eve and continues from the beginning to you and me today.
Your bellybutton is a reminder that you are reaching out to hold someone’s hand–to get reconnected with someone. I don’t know if Adam and Eve had a bellybutton or not (although they did have the fingerprint of God), however, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone.
Think about it; Adam had personal relationship with His Creator, but God knew that was not enough. As God looked at everything He had created God said, “It’s good,” but when God saw Adam alone the Lord said, “This is not good.”
Adam needed the companionship of someone like him–a suitable helpmate. You know the rest of the story don’t you? God created a work of art and gave her to the man, and Adam said, “Wow what a woman!” Well that’s not exactly what Adam said, but it’s a good paraphrase. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” (Genesis 2:23 MsgB)
When God sees Adam and Eve together with everything He had created, God says, “This is very good!” What changed? Did God make the sky a little bluer, or the grass greener? No, in all of creation only one thing had changed; God put man and woman together. Creation went from good to very good.
B. WE NEED EACH OTHER! No one is meant to try to go through life alone. Is it any wonder that one of the worst forms of punishment is solitary confinement?
Throughout the Bible we see individuals interacting relationally and connected with others. God said it was not good for man (or woman) to be alone; he made us to be interdependent upon each other.
Now lest you think our need for one another is limited to marriage, let me quickly point out some of these well know biblical friendships.
● Jonathan and David ● Abraham and Lot
● Moses and Aaron ● Ruth and Naomi
● Peter, James and John ● Mary and Martha
● Paul with Barnabas, and Silas
We need each other!
Many of you will probably recognize this song. “It make you want to go where everybody know your name, and they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.” The theme song for the 80’s TV sitcom “Cheers” shows us how all of us are longing to be accepted by others. No one wants to go through life alone.
The theme song for “Cheers” set in a Boston bar could be the theme song for the local church. The sad fact is that the local bar makes a great substitute for what the local church is supposed to be.
? Isn’t the church the place where we should be known and welcomed by one another? Isn’t the church the place where we know that our troubles are all the same? Isn’t the church supposed to be the place where people can find a real solution to life’s difficulties and problems?
C. The local church, has missed the mark. You and I are not the church as God designed.
Today the local church, our church included, has often times focused on methods, ministries and monthly schedules. The local church is not about programs it’s about people! We can fill a calendar with activities, but people often leave the church still feeling empty.
Dr. Francis Schaeffer told a group of minister in Wheaton, IL back in 1977, “Unless the church changes its form and gets back to community and the sharing of lives personally, THE CHURCH IS DONE.” Thirty-six years have now passed. Is the church any better today, or is the church still in danger of passing into history?
✎ Jim Armpriester, the Director of Ohio Missions for the Assemblies of God said, “8 of 10 Ohioans will not attend church on any given weekend.” More of our friends and neighbors will visit the grocery store than go to church today. Why is that? The church is not being effective in ministering to the heartfelt needs of people.
D. The church is the communion of the saints, a community of believers joined together through faith in Christ. (Next week I’ll build on what the communion of the saints or community of believers is all about in “The Saints or The Ain’ts”)
The idea that church is a building or place of worship, that “going to church” means you attend Sunday School and/or a worship service is not a biblical idea. Yet the common understanding of church today is just that; for some church is a building, a place to worship God, others think of the church as where you go for weddings, funerals and special occasions.
How many of us know that is not what the church is? No where in the Bible does the word “church” refer to a place or a program; THE CHURCH REFERS TO PEOPLE.
The Accapella Band sings, “You can’t go to church as some people say, the common terminology that we use everyday. You can go to a chapel, you can sit in a pew. But you can’t go to church, ‘cuz the church is you.”
You ane I are the church, however many of us still have a misunderstanding of what church really is. Intellectually we know that the church is made up of people, but we don’t really know what that means. We think of church as a group of believers gathering for a worship service or bible study.
We think of church as an event for people to connect with God. After a really good worship service and we sense God’s presence or if the preacher is really anointed, or any other standard by which we may judge the “success” of a worship service, what do we say to one another? “We really had church today!”
Church is not something you “have.” CHURCH IS WHO WE ARE; IT IS THE COMMUNION OF THE SAINTS, A COMMUNITY OF BELIEVERS UNITED IN THEIR FAITH IN CHRIST.
Church is not just a worship service or an event for people to connect with God. Church is God’s people connecting with each other as well!
If the local church is to be kept from “going the way of the dinosaur,” then it must be the church Jesus designed and not man made buildings and programs. You and I must be the church which means thinking “WE” and not “ME.”
E. What is the difference between thinking “ME” and “WE?”
None of us would want to think of ourselves as self-centered or selfish. How can we begin to recognize “ME” thinking within the church versus “WE” thinking?
“ME FIRST” thinking will look like this:
● Over emphasis upon personal salvation.
● Looks more for what they can receive from God rather than what they can share with others.
● Comes and goes without connecting relationally with anyone. If you aren’t here would anyone miss you?
● Cautious to share personal needs; a fear of being vulnerable.
● Uncomfortable joining together with others for prayer.
● Is often “too tired” or makes other excuses for not participating with the church.
● Participates primarily in the worship service; avoids “small groups.”
“WE” thinking is very different.
● Generous with time, talent and treasure.
● Connects relationally with other people, is loved and know by many.
● Willing to be transparent, open and honest with others.
● Reaches out to others in prayer.
● Joins in small groups and relates with others in the group.
● Seldom misses an opportunity to be together with the church knowing they have something to share and receive.
● Connects with people throughout the week through prayer, cards, phone calls, visits
What type of thinking describes you most of the time? “ME or WE?”
F. The “ME” mentality is sin, nothing more–nothing less.
Let’s not overlook the obvious. The command “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves,” this was not written to the world, but to the church. Paul opens the book of Romans with the greeting, “to all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints” (Romans 1:7 NIV). He is not writing to pagan non-believers; Paul is writing to the church–to you and me!
This may not sit well with some of you. If you are living a “ME FIRST” lifestyle, then you are in rebellion to God. The life that revolves around “ME” is a life of sin.
Jesus said, “You are my friends if you obey me” (John 15:14 NLT). The Bible tells us plainly to love one another putting others ahead of ourselves. In other words, we’re to live for “WE” not “ME.” How can we call ourselves Christians, Jesus’ friends, if we are not willing to obey His Word?
Let’s lay all our cards on the table this morning: how can you call yourself a Christian if you are not willing to be a part of the Church, the Body of Christ? Now before we all think I’m just talking about so called “Christians” who don’t attend a local church, but prefer to stay home and watch their favorite TV preachers in the comfort of their own home, let me ask you another question.
How can a “Christian” not enter into loving relationships with other believers? You and I can attend worship services at a local church but still remain isolated from other people. It doesn’t just happen in big churches; we can come and go in a church with less than 100 people and still remain strangers living a lifestyle of “ME.”
The lecture format of the modern church will not create caring and loving relationship within the church . If you and I are going to be the church that Jesus wants us to be, then we can’t just get together once a week to stare at the back of someone’s head while the preacher talks. You can’t “come to church” to sing a song and listen a sermon; going to church means you have entered into the communion of the saints–“WE” not “ME.”
2. IN THE CHURCH HAS NO ROOM FOR “ME”, BUT LOTS OF ROOM FOR “WE”.
Individualism, isolation and self-centeredness has no place in the church. No one should come to church with the “what’s in it for me” mentality. Rather than looking for what I can get, I should think about what I can give to others. The Bible says, “Honor one another above yourselves.”
A. In order to be the Church, we must follow Jesus’ example.
If I were to ask for a show of hands for all those who wanted to live like Jesus, then most every hand would be raised. If we’re going to call ourselves a Christian, then we should want to be like Jesus right? That’s obvious. What is not obvious to most of us is how to really live like Jesus.
Can I make it simple for you? You are more like Jesus thinking “WE” and not “ME.” Look how Jesus described His ambition in life; it was not about what He could get for Himself, but what He could give to others.
+ Mark 10:45 . . . the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (NIV) . . . [the Son of Man] came to serve, not to be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage. (MsgB)
What is Jesus saying? You could paraphrase what He said like this: “I’m not looking for what’s in it for me; you won’t find me looking out for #1. I’m here for all of you; you’re first in my book. I’ll do what ever it takes for you to be free like me.”
Jesus didn’t come to please Himself to live out the “ME FIRST” lifestyle. Jesus came to give His life for others; instead of thinking ME, Jesus thought was WE.
So you say you want to live like Jesus and follow His example? It’s simple: think “WE.” If you are adapting His Word to fit your ideas–if you compromise God’s Word to make is say what you want, then you may call yourself a Christian, but your still living the “ME” lifestyle.
In the Church of Jesus Christ there is no room for the ME, ME, ME mentality. The church is about WE.
B. WE NEED EACH OTHER! Within the church we should build loving and caring relationships. (I know I’m repeating myself, but don’t tune me out like a TV commercial that you’ve seen for the 100th time. It’s interesting to note that advertizers know you need to see a message repeated over and over before you “hear” the message.)
+ Romans 12:5 So in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. (NIV)
Within the church, Christ joins us together; we’re connected to each other. “ME-dependence” and self-sufficiency is replaced by an interdependence and sharing within the church; there no room for “ME,” but lots of room for “WE.”
Within the church you and I are not our own man or woman; it’s not about me! “WE BELONG TO EACH OTHER!” If you or I want to stay off by ourselves to just worship God, but not get enter into loving relationships with other believers, then we are stealing from the church. We don’t belong to ourselves; we belong to one another.
+ Philippians 2:3-5 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. (NIV)
What’s Paul telling us?
Don’t think “ME FIRST;” think “WE.” That’s how Jesus lived and we should follow His example.
C. LET’S COMMIT TO LIVING FOR “WE.” We are a part of the communion of the saints, a community of believers sharing loving relationships with one another.
No where in the Bible does God say, “Let there be church,” and poof there is church. Jesus says, “I will build my church.” Building is a process, a process that requires our cooperation.
✎ The bricks, 2x4s, sheets of plywood and drywall, all the different parts that have been joined together, no single part had a choice about being included as part of this building we call a church. Through the process of construction the materials were delivered and put together. None of the pieces needed to be convinced to go where they were supposed to; everything was put together according to plan.
Jesus is building His Church and you and I are the building materials. Unlike a 2x4 or sheet of plywood, you and I have a choice; we can resist being joined together with the other members of Christ’s Church. Each one of us must choose whether we will be joined together or not by the Master Builder.
You may really love God; you have acknowledged that Christ died for your sin and want to live for Him. However, you have been hurt by God’s people. For whatever the reason you resist being a part of the church. “I’ll attend church, I’ll worship with others, and give to support the church, but I’m not going to get close to anyone. I can’t risk getting hurt again.”
You want Christ to be your PERSONAL SAVIOR, but did you know that YOUR PERSONAL SALVATION IS NOT A PRIVATE AFFAIR? Someone prayed for you; someone introduced you to Jesus; someone helped you grow in your faith; someone taught you from the scriptures. How many “someones” have been involved in your “personal salvation?”
If your focus is on Christ as your personal savior, then you may be living for “ME FIRST” and not for “WE.” The Bible does not say Jesus came to be your personal savior. Jesus came to be the Savior of THE WORLD.
+ 1 John 4:14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. (NIV)
What did Jesus tell Nicodemus in John 3:16? Jesus said, “God so loved THE WORLD.” I’m guilty of putting my name in that verse, “God so loved Greg.” I’ve even encouraged others to put their name there so they can know how much God loves them. However, Jesus was talking to an individual; He didn’t say “Nicodemus, God so loves you.” God loves the world, all of us–“WE” not just “ME.”
✎ I love all my children. Chrysta, Gracie, Greggy, Pearl or Mikey could each put their name into that sentence and it would still be true. I love them as individuals, but my love for any one of them does not exclude the others from sharing in my love. I love all my children. And guess what, my love for my kids overflows when I see them sharing loving relationships with each other.
That’s what God’s love is like; yes, He loves us individually, but He loves THE WORLD. He not only loves those of us who love Him in return; God still loves those who reject His love for them. God loves the WORLD.
Likewise, God wants His children to love each other. His heart rejoices when He sees us entering into loving relationships.
God wants His Church to be “WE” not “ME.” As recipients of God’s love, we share in the communion of saints, a community of believers who love one another.
Have you been hurt? Are you afraid to love those around you? I’ve got bad news for you. This may not be the church for you. This is and will be a church that puts “WE FIRST.” We will reach out in love encouraging you to tear down the walls of isolation.
This church will not be a safe place from the dangers of love. Anytime you love someone you risk being hurt; the hurt that comes with love didn’t stop Jesus. He loved us to death.
Can I be honest with you? I’ve been hurt by people in the church. You know what else? I have unfortunately hurt people as well. Does that surprise you? Over the years I have learned something. The benefits of love far out way the possible hurt and the cost of isolation. I’m willing to risk loving you; will you risk loving me?
Someone has said, “Hell is the safest place from the dangers of love.” Hell is the ultimate solitary confinement; separated from God. You won’t have to worry about being hurt by love in hell.
Hell is a safe place from the dangers of love, and let me add–hell is also the furthest place from all the benefits of love.
Conclusion:
So how do we do it? How do we think “WE FIRST” instead of “ME?”
Well, that’s why I’m preaching a series and not just one message. If you really want to discover how we can be the communion of saints living for “WE” and not “ME” then you’re going to have to come back next week.
However, let me tell you two quick things that will get you off to a good start.
1. Make a commitment to live for “WE.” Remember, the Christian lifestyle is all about “WE” not “ME.” Ask God to forgive you for putting yourself ahead of others and let Him transform your thinking from “ME FIRST” to “WE FIRST.”
2. Let me invite you to stay for dinner. If you don’t have another commitment, then stay for a while and get to know some of your brothers and sisters in the Lord.
We are in this thing together; we need each other. It’s all about “WE” not “ME.”
