How to Choose Chums and Comrades
doing math with friendships
gregg barbour. JAM. 8/10/03
Earl C. Willer tells the story of two men who grew up best friends:
Though Jim was just a little older than Phillip and often assumed the role of leader, they did everything together. They even went to high school and college together.
After college they decided to join the marines. By a unique series of circumstances they were sent to Germany together where they fought side by side in one of history’s ugliest wars.
One sweltering day during a fierce battle, amid heavy gunfire, bombing, and close-quarters combat, they were given the command to retreat. As the men were running back, Jim noticed that Phillip had not returned with the others. Panic gripped his heart. Jim knew if Phillip was not back in another minute or two, then he wouldn’t make it.
Jim begged his commanding officer to let him go after his friend, but the officer forbade the request, saying it would be suicide.
Risking his own life, Jim disobeyed and went after Phillip. His heart pounding, he ran into the gunfire, calling out for Phillip. A short time later, his platoon saw him hobbling across the field carrying a limp body in his arms.
Jim’s commanding officer upbraided him, shouting that it was a foolish waste of time and an outrageous risk. "Your friend is dead," he added, "and there was nothing you could do."
"No sir, you’re wrong," Jim replied. "I got there just in time. Before he died, his last words were ’I knew you would come.’"
One of the most precious gifts we have in our lives is the development of friendships and relationships with others. Friendships can bring joy or heartache. And they should not be entered into lightly. That’s why it’s important for you to know how to choose your friends. Over the past few weeks we’ve been discussing character. We talked about Daniel and his integrity, we talked about words that hurt and the truth about sticks and stones, and we talked about anger, and how to avoid the monster. Today, I want to talk to you about how to choose your chums and comrades. We have to understand that certain friendships can add to or subtract from the nature of our character.
First of all, we can see that God wants us to steer clear of friends that are constantly bringing us down. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: ‘bad company corrupts good character.” The people that you spend time with that damage, deface, deform, degrade, demean, demoralize, disfigure, harm, hurt, impair, infect, ravage, reduce, ruin, violate, and pull you down are ‘bad company.’ There’s an episode of the Simpson’s that can illustrate this for us. In the 2nd season of The Simpsons, there is an episode called “Bart gets an F.” In this episode, bart fails a test, and if he fails another, he may have to repeat the 4th grade. Bart is an odd kid, a menace of sorts, so we’ll label him as ‘bad company.’ Bart enlists the help of Ralph Wiggum, the class brain. Bart promises Ralph that he can have Bart and his gang as friends if he’ll just help him with school. So as Ralphy begins to tutor Bart, he also begins to hang out with them, and they coerce him to do things he wouldn’t normally do. He pulls obnoxious pranks with Bart and all his pals, and his otherwise known as good character, begins to take a plummet down the drain of contamination. You see, we become like our friends, like those we hang out with the most. In the time that Ralphy was hanging out with Bart, he became like him and began to do the things that he did, and got in trouble just like him. 2 Peter 3:17 says, “Don’t let the errors of wicked people lead you down the wrong path and make you lose your balance.” Let’s try something here. I need one strong volunteer. Ok, now let me get about 5 others to come up here. Now, I need the strong volunteer to stand on this chair and try to pull the other five up with him. While he’s doing that the other 5 will try to pull him off the chair.
I’ve done this illustration because many of you think that you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd to minister to them…but as you’ve seen here, it’s easier for them to pull you down, than for you to pull them up. A company is a group of people, a gang, a crew, an ensemble…so let’s say this. If bad company corrupts good character, then wouldn’t good company do the opposite for bad character. It’s good that you want to minister to people like that, but you can’t do it alone. If you’re going to do something like that…it should be 4 or 5 strong people bringing up one weak person.
So, we’ve seen the negative effect that friends can have on us…that it can subtract from otherwise good character. But, we also need friends to add to our character. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We are supposed to build each other up. 1 Thess. 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” We NEED friends that will encourage us and help us grow spiritually. We don’t need people in our lives that will constantly let us do the wrong things. We’ve got to have friends that will hold us accountable to God’s standards, and help us up when we’re slipping. Our friends have a huge influence on our character…in fact, we NEED them if we’re going to have a strong character, because let’s face it…we can’t go through this world alone. There’s a passage in Ecclesiastes that is probably my most favorite in the Bible. Chapter 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” There you have it! WE NEED OUR CHUMS, OUR COMPADRES, OUR AMIGOS. We NEED them. A horse can pull 1000 pounds, but two horses together can pull 3000 pounds. Do you see the benefit of having someone to help? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves…a cord of THREE strands is not quickly broken. Why do you think he put that in there: the cord of three. That third strand is God!! Is God in your friendships? He wants to be. He wants you to have the RIGHT kind of friends, and He wants to be involved in your relationships. In fact, Jesus wants to be your friend too!! Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” In essence, choose your friends wisely, but allow Jesus to be your best friend. My brother and I are pretty close, even when we’re 1500 miles apart…can you imagine that Jesus wants to be so much closer than that…he wants to be inseparable from you, and he wants you to be aware of him! Evaluate how you choose your friends…do you choose friends based on how much money they have, the clothes they wear, how popular they are, or how they look? Or do you choose your friends based on their character, loyalty, honesty, goodness to people, and the ability to encourage you to grow in Christ. The latter is the type of friend that God wants you to have. God looks at the heart, and so should you. As you begin a new school year, choose friends that will add to your character, rather than subtract from it. Remember that bad company corrupts good character, but good friends will encourage you, and God desires to be a part of your relationships. Take a few minutes during this next song to pray and seek God. Ask him to help you make friends, but not just any friend, the friends that He desires for you. If there are friends you have now, ask him to help you to know what to do in that situation…he’ll be there to help. If you need prayer or guidance, find me or one of the youth staff afterwards…(begin playing) song: everyday by 40 days..Prayer.
