Because I Said So
Principles for Obeying Your Parents
10/15/03
I. Introduction
PN’s Top Ten Dumb Things Parents Say
10. Because I said so!
9. Clean up that pigsty you call a room!
8. What part of "no" don’t you understand?
7. When I was your age...
6. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
5. This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you!
4. Eat your dinner! There are starving children...
3. You better cut out that crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about!
2. If your brother jumped off a bridge...
1. This is my final warning...
There comes a point in every teenager’s life where mom and dad are no longer cool. If you absolutely MUST go to the mall together, you make sure to keep at least ten feet of distance between you and your parents as you’re walking through the crowded areas. And God forbid any one of your friends see you and ask you if you’re with your parents.
Or what if mom or dad drop you off at school and lean over to give you a peck on the cheek to start off your day? You quickly dodge their “kill me” kiss and dart out the door. Then the ‘rents pick you up at school on the same day with Kansas blaring on their radio singing at the top of their lungs “Carry On My Wayward Son.” You then begin to walk toward the road as if you were going to walk all the way home, intentionally ignoring mom’s solo rock concert.
If you’ve ever been embarrassed by your parents, then you’re only one of oh, about a million teenagers who have said that their parents are less than hip. And while parents may at times ridicule you or humiliate you in front of your friends, they’re the ones who hold the reigns as the authority in your life. They “brought you into this world, and they can take you out.”
But the cold hard truth is that despite a parent’s inability to be cool in the sight of their children, they love us and we, in turn, love them. And despite their inability to let us do what we want, when we want, we have a command and a mission to be obedient no matter what. And so in tonight’s message, we’ll be discovering principles for obeying your parents. And these principles will better your relationship with mom or dad and in turn, better your life at home.
II. Parents Just Don’t Understand?
(Play Song – Parents Just Don’t Understand – Lil’ Romeo)
You may think your parents just don’t understand you or your situation or what’s going on in your life, but the truth is, while they may not be able to relate to your generation, they know what’s best for you and it’s their desire to help you be better.
God knows all about parents. In fact, the Father of all fathers has a plan for the fam. From mom to pop to little bro to little sis, God’s got a plan.
Colossians 3:18-21 “You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. And you husbands must love your wives and never treat them harshly. You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord. Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”
Here it is. The ideal family situation. The Bible makes it very clear how families are supposed to function. Wives submitting to husbands. Does your mom throw plates and china at your dad in an argument? That’s not ideal. Husbands loving their wives and never treating them harshly. Does your dad pick up the pieces and throw them back? That’s not ideal. And children.
How many of y’all are children? You’re somebody’s child? Here’s your ideal function… ALWAYS obey your parents. I know nobody in here has ever messed up on that one. Always? Remember, that’s the word that doesn’t leave room for exceptions. It’s not always obey your parents, except when they embarrass you in front of your friends. It’s not always obey your parents, except when they ask you to wash the dishes. It’s not always obey your parents, except when they tell you your dog did it again and you have to scoop the poop. You get the point…always means no exceptions. Obey your parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’”
Check that out. Obeying your parents is right. But there’s also a benefit for you. Things are going to be well with you and you get to live longer. Think about that when your mom asks you to scrub the toilet. Hmm, if I scrub this toilet, things are going to be well with me, and I could be adding a year to my life. You never know. Maybe scrubbing toilets is one year and scooping poop is three. So, do you scoop the poop and scrub the toilet? I would if I were you. What would happen if you don’t? You’d get grounded and restrictions and all kinds of stuff right then, plus you’d die a lot younger instead of living twice as long or longer.
Ask: Why did God include honoring your parents in the 10 Commandments?
You know the fad’s been in and out with the “WWJD” bracelets which were made to prompt you to ask yourself “What would Jesus do?” before you make a decision. Well, in order to find out what Jesus would do, we first have to know what he did do. Have you ever wondered what Jesus was like with his parents and how he responded to them and treated them? Let’s look at Jesus at the age of 12.
Luke 2:41-52 “41Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. 42When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. 43After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
49"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?" 50But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
51Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
Ok, first of all, mom and dad don’t realize that Jesus is missing until they are already on their way home for a whole day. Well, after realizing that he’s been left behind, they begin their search. This is the first ever episode of Without a Trace. I mean, Jesus is missing, and mom and dad have brought out the big guns to find him. Finally, after three days they find him getting a first class education. Imagine why it took them so long to find him, the last place you’d look for a Jr. High kid is anywhere where there’s learning involved. Well, Jesus is not like other kids, he wants to learn all that he can, and when his parents find him, oh, they’re upset. Mom’s exact words, translated into twentieth century mom talk, were, “Who do you think you are? Just wait until your father gets a hold of you.” And Jesus, certain that his parents just didn’t get it, says, “Oh, mom, didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But, as we can learn from Mary and Joseph, parents just don’t understand… or they didn’t in that case. But, here’s the kicker. Despite the fact that they just didn’t understand, Jesus was OBEDIENT. He didn’t kick and scream and refuse to go with his parents. He didn’t tell his mom that she didn’t know anything. He didn’t ignore her when she was talking to him. He was obedient, he did what she said, he was respectful and probably looked her in the eyes when she was talking to him. And then in verse 52 it says that Jesus got wiser and taller and he grew in favor with God and men. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that one verse earlier it talks about how Jesus was obedient to his parents.
How can you honor your parents without always agreeing with them?
III. Teens Just Don’t Understand?
Proverbs 10:1 “1A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
The attitudes and actions you display in your home have a major influence on the happiness of your family.
Proverbs 1:8 “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
Proverbs 30:17 “The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.”
What are some ways that you mock your parents?
Do you talk back to your parents? Do you mimic them when they’re not watching? What else?
How can you honor your parents this week?
Here are 7 things you can do to be obedient to your parents.
1. Do your chores without someone asking you to do them.
2. Offer to help with something around the house that is not usually your responsibility.
3. Think of a compliment you can give your mom, dad, or both.
4. Ask your parents if there is anything you can do to improve your behavior.
5. When asked to do something, don’t procrastinate even a minute—go right to it.
6. If you have a brother or sister, treat your sibling with the same respect that you would want in return.
7. Be polite, thoughtful, and helpful outside of your home, at school and in other activities.
IV. The Power of a Parent’s Love
Proverbs 13:24 “24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
Proverbs 19:18 “18Discipline your children while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives.”
Matthew 7:9-11 “9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Danny was born with no ears. He could hear all right, but he didn’t have ears like normal people. All his life, Danny endured ridicule and rejection because of his deformity. But he learned to live with it. Thankfully, he had loving parents and a strong family to sustain him.
When Danny was in high school, his doctor told him of a new procedure that made it possible to transplant ears from one person to another. That meant Danny could get new ears if someone who was compatible to him ever donated theirs.
This was exciting news. After all, people donated body parts all the time—hearts, lungs, kidneys. But Danny soon found that donor ears were extremely scarce.
Danny didn’t give up hope, however. He knew that someday he would get new ears. He graduated from high school with honors and was accepted at a major university thousands of miles away. He kissed his parents good-bye and began his life as a college student. Again, though, he found it hard to make friends and fit in because of his lack of ears.
One day he got a phone call from his father. “Go to the hospital tomorrow, Danny. A donor has been found.”
The very next day Danny checked into the university hospital where doctors were ready to perform the surgery. A few hours later, Danny had new ears.
When the bandages came off, Danny gazed into the mirror for hours. He finally had ears like normal people. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t ashamed of the way he looked. He not only had new ears, he had a new life.
A few weeks later, Danny received another phone call from his father. “Son, your mother is very ill,” his father said. “She may not live through the night.”
Danny was on the first plane home. When he arrived, his father gave him the sad news that his mother had died.
Together they went to the funeral home, where Danny was able to see his mother for the last time. He leaned over to kiss her cheek. Brushing her hair back from her face, he noticed that she had no ears.
Have you ever taken the time to realize that your parents would do just about anything for you? If it were within their power at all, your mom or dad would do it.
Your parents love you. So, because they said so or not, respect them, appreciate them, and obey them. It’s the least you can do. Let’s pray.
